You Don't Say
by UndercoverFabala
Summary: Lily genuinely liked James Potter. He was handsome enough to make any girl swoon, but he was also funny, clever, and secretly kind. Unfortunately, he could also be rude, thoughtless, spoiled, and cruel. Finding the balance was the tricky part. Author note: James is a jerk. Please don't be surprised.
1. Chapter 1

Mr. Manus Farmer was a pleasant man who owned a shop that sold picture frames on the corner of Victoria Street in Edinburgh. Along with a signature bowler hat, he was fond of three piece tweed suits and smoking a pipe. He also liked to check his gold pocket watch every quarter hour before clearing his throat with a hearty "harumph."

Entering the shop at precisely one o'clock in the afternoon, he checked his pocket watch and harumphed a hello at the lonely clerk. She was a slim, pretty girl with long, curling red hair that provided the perfect foil for her creamy pale skin and startling green eyes. Leaned against the counter over a large leather bound book, she greeted him with an amused smile. "Hello Mr. Farmer. How was lunch?"

"Fine, fine," he replied gruffly.

"Mrs. Galt phoned about her portrait," the girl informed him calmly. "She fancies the gold inlay this time."

In response, Mr. Farmer simply sighed. "It's different every day, isn't it? Well, off you get, Evans. Better have your lunch before Mr. Cader gets in."

Lily Evans had worked for Mr. Farmer for the past two summers when she wasn't in school. She was reliable, sensible, and friendly. If she wasn't going off to college next year, he would certainly keep her on full time. There weren't many young girls who dreamed of working in a shop their whole lives.

Marking her book carefully, Lily gave him an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Mr. Farmer. I'll do that."

She slipped her tan leather jacket on over her red sweater before heading to the door. Out on the street, she walked straight to a deli shop and ordered a sandwich. It was all very normal. From the outside, there was nothing to mark her as different from any other sixteen-year-old girl.

After receiving her sandwich, she thanked the gawky teenage boy behind the counter with a kind smile and turned away from his uncomfortable stare, heading for a small corner table. A portly man smelling strongly of aftershave bumped her as she passed, causing her to drop her change. Before anyone noticed, the coins bounced on the tile and flew perfectly into her open hand. Lily glanced around surreptitiously, then continued on to take a seat. No one had seen. Most people simply didn't want to see what was right in front of their eyes.

After eating, she returned to the shop and spent a pleasant afternoon dusting, reading, and helping customers when the occasion called for it. It was fully dark by the time Mr. Farmer turned off the light and locked the door. He harumphed through a good evening as they parted ways on the street and Lily could only smile and shake her head. He was a nice old man, if a little set in his ways. She liked him.

She was still musing when she heard a commotion up the street. It sounded like trouble, but she didn't know for certain until she got closer. Two men were standing suspiciously over a couple that were obviously tourists. Their voices were loud and mocking and she instinctively gripped the wand in her back pocket.

"Typical Muggles. Swannin' 'round like they bloody own the place."

Her pulse skipped when she heard the man who was clearly drunk and clearly a wizard. This was bad. This was very bad.

"What shall we do with 'em, eh? Shall we 'elp 'em find the pub?" the other man cackled in amusement.

Though she was still quite far away, she broke into a run as his wand came out. She wasn't particularly good at defense, but she had to do _something_ to help these people. The man's wand tip flashed a violent purple, but Lily lashed out just a second later. Shouting "_stupefy!" _a blaze of red hit the man in the side of the face and he dropped like a stone.

His mate spun while the woman helped her husband to his feet. They ran without looking back and Lily didn't really blame them. The man she faced stood head and brawny shoulders over her. He had flaming orange hair that was cropped close to his egg-shaped dome and a ragged scar bisecting a rigidly square jaw. Heart fluttering in fear, she felt a bit like Wendy confronting Captain Hook.

Seeing that his opponent was just a girl, the man gave her an ugly grin and hooked his wand at her. Lily grunted in pain as she caught a lashing hex across her left side, but recovered quickly to throw up a protegio charm. The shield worked beautifully, but the man was coming closer.

"_Expelliarmus!"_ she cried as her mind conjured up one of the few defense spells she had mastered in class.

The man flicked it away contemptuously. Air whooshed out of her lungs as he took a hard step forward and planted his fist directly in her stomach. The blow dropped her onto her back and sent her wand clattering into the street a few meters away. Grinning triumphantly as he stood over her, the man raised his wand for another spell and she kicked him in the groin. While he doubled over in pain, she used the opportunity to crawl for her wand.

She screamed when he caught a handful of her hair, wrenching her to her knees before she could get away. His breath was hot and foul as he growled into her ear: "Filthy little _bitch! Crucio!_"

His wand tip ground into the sensitive area just behind the ear and pain like she had never experienced ripped through her body. On its own her spine curled forward in an attempt at the fetal position, but he only laughed and held her still by her hair. She hardly knew that the frantic screams echoing off the shop walls were coming from her own throat as she twisted and clawed at her invisible tormentors.

It stopped when the windows of the shop behind them shattered. Before she could react, she heard several loud pops. The man was hit from three angles by simultaneous stunning spells. She would have been hit as well if not for the shield protecting her. It rebounded on the Auror that cast it, sending him sprawling on his back.

Instinctively, Lily held up her hands. She tried to explain what had happened to the stony faced wizards, but they weren't listening as they bound her hands behind her back. Having been revived, the fresh-faced Auror who had succumbed to his own stunning charm was none-too-gentle as he grabbed her arm and disapparated.

Gasping and retching, she dropped to her knees on the polished marble floor of the Ministry of Magic. She would have been sick if she had anything in her stomach; the sandwich from earlier was the only thing she'd eaten all day. Her head swam as her captor hauled her to her feet. Vaguely, she registered other Aurors arriving with the two men she had been fighting, both of whom were still unconscious.

"Careful there, Savage!" A gnarled wizard with a patch over his right eye stumped toward them with a thunderous expression on his face. His nose looked as though it had been knocked out of several joints and his ratty blonde hair was long and stringy, but he carried with him an air of authority that made the younger man pause. "Don't make someone else pay for your mistakes. What's your name, girl?"

"Lily Evans," she grunted, wincing up at the man who was glaring at her critically. "I'm a student at Hogwarts. I was trying to protect some Muggles."

The man's thin mouth twisted skeptically. "We'll see about that."

The Auror called Savage put a hand on her arm to guide her toward a set of lifts on the far end of the lobby, but she noticed that he was being a good deal more gentle. One blessing was that there weren't many people about so late in the evening, so there wasn't much noise for her to contend with. She'd never been in the Ministry of Magic before, but the gleaming marble and massive fountain were lost on her foggy brain.

Before they could reach the gleaming brass lifts, the doors opened and two men exited. The first was older, dressed in disheveled brown robes with a quill sticking out from behind his ear. His graying hair stood out wildly around his head and he wore a pair of round, wire-framed spectacles on his straight nose. The young man beside him could only be his son and Lily stiffened when their eyes met.

"_Evans?_" James Potter cried in shock as he took in the bound, bleeding, disoriented girl. He was an incredibly handsome young man with untidy black hair, hazel eyes, and the lean physique of an athlete. Not only had she been in school with him for the last six years, she had served as prefect with him for the last two terms.

"This is Auror business, Potter," Savage spoke up preemptively when the older man opened his mouth to question him. "None of your concern."

Lily was almost frightened to tears, but she managed a tense smile as the Auror pushed her into the lift. "Don't worry James. This is all just a misunderstanding. I'll be fine."

Without hesitation James pulled his wand from his sleeve. The situation might have escalated if his father hadn't physically held him back. The dark haired boy's eyes were frantic as he stared at her through the closing doors. Her legs were shaking so badly that she wasn't sure how much longer they would hold. She leaned against the back wall of the lift until they arrived at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement on level two.

She was placed in an interrogation room much like what she had seen of Muggle police stations on television, only chains sprung from the chair the moment she sat down and bound her fast to the uncomfortable wood. All she could do was watch as Savage tested her wand, revealing the spells she had used during the fight as well as a cleaning and unlocking spell from the week before. It was all very innocuous, but he gave her a searching look when he had finished.

"All right, Miss Evans. Tell me what happened," he said shortly as he took a seat across the table from her and set up a quick quotes quill on a long roll of parchment.

Lily took a breath to explain, but the door opened before she could begin and Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, swept inside. A pleasant old man with a crooked nose and twinkling blue eyes behind half-moon spectacles, he was dressed in immaculate emerald green robes and had a stern look on his face that he usually reserved for the worst offenders.

Rising swiftly, Savage moved to intercept him. "Can I help you, Dumbledore?"

"I've heard there was some trouble with one of my students so naturally I was concerned," Dumbledore explained enigmatically. "Lily Evans is not only a model student, she's also Head Girl this year and I would hate for a misunderstanding to tarnish such a flawless reputation. And since both of her parents happen to be Muggles, I assumed that she would be in need of an advocate. Have you asked for her side of the story yet?"

Like most people, Savage seemed to be generally in awe of the Headmaster and he shook his head dumbly. Raising his eyebrows and moving forward to take a seat, Dumbledore gave the younger man an expectant smile. "I suggest we get on with it, then. I'm sure Lily's parents are becoming quite frantic after that owl."

From then on, it was only a short amount of time for her to explain what had happened. With her wand corroborating her version along with what they found on the other men, she was released from custody in under an hour. Offering his support, Professor Dumbledore escorted her to the lifts.

Heaving a sigh of relief, she smiled at him in appreciation. "Thanks, Professor. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't showed up."

The older man's lips quirked in amusement as his eyes rose to study the lift numbers. "I don't think I was given much choice. Mr. Potter was quite insistent that I come right away. It was very brave of you to get involved, Lily."

She ducked her head sheepishly, but was given no time to respond as the doors opened. Apparently James and his father had waited in the lobby. The instant he spotted her, he rushed over to catch her arms in an iron grip. His expression was livid as he shouted, "What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"I-" Her response was choked off by him pulling her close for a bone crunching hug and she blushed when she caught the significant look exchanged by the older men. Forcefully pushing him back, she gave him a calm smile. "Thank you, James, but I'm fine."

"You're bleeding, Evans. That's not fine." His voice turned suddenly gentle as his fingers tenderly touched her cut cheek. That along with his expression was almost too much for her and she blinked back tears as she gripped his wrists.

"Stop it, James," she whispered pleadingly.

Squeezing his son's shoulder, Aldan Potter gave him a wry smile. "Why don't I take a look at your friend, James?"

Lily was nearly twitching with nerves when James stepped back so that his father could examine her. She had only heard of the brilliant Aldan Potter. He had worked for years in the Department of Mysteries and invented several ground breaking spells. Being this close, she could also see a spark of mischief in his blue eyes that mirrored the roguish streak of his son. In spite of the horrible situation, she found herself smiling at him.

"My you are lovely, Miss Evans. I'm afraid my son didn't do you justice," Aldan murmured thoughtfully as he healed her.

Flushing prettily, she looked away and removed her jacket so that he could take a look at her arm. In spite of the fact that they had been working closely as prefects for the past two years, she couldn't understand James mentioning her at all. She wasn't even certain he considered her a friend since she was usually the fly in his devilish ointment. But she was a Gryffindor too and he was nothing if not loyal.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter. I should really be heading home now," she said softly, unable to look at any of the men.

Giving her a warm smile, Dumbledore offered to help her apparate, but her stomach rolled and she politely declined. Mr. Potter then pointed out that she could travel by floo powder, but she had to admit that her family wasn't connected. Finally James volunteered to take her home on the Knight Bus and she was forced to agree. After all, it would take forever to get there by train and it was also obvious that their fatherly figures wouldn't allow her to go anywhere alone.

"I'll have to phone my Dad," she announced in a quiet voice, feeling suddenly shy.

"Why don't I just pop over and explain things?" Dumbledore offered magnanimously. Lily reluctantly agreed to this plan when she remembered she didn't have enough money for the Muggle phones and he bade Mr. Potter a fond farewell before disapparating.

Turning to the young people with a warm expression, Aldan shoved one hand in his pocket and rumpled his hair with the other in a way she had seen his son mirror a million times. For some reason, it made her like him even more. "See that she gets home safe, James. I appreciate how you always look after my son for me, Miss Evans. He doesn't get into half the mischief he wants to when you're on hand."

"I do my best, sir," Lily said with a smile.

Oddly silent, James caught her wrist and tugged her toward the entrance. "We had better get going, then. See you, Dad. Don't wait up for me."

Aldan only waved with a smile as he practically dragged her away. She had to stand unreasonably close to him in order to get up to the Muggle street and it was then that she realized he was embarrassed. Looking closely, she noticed his ears turning slightly red and he refused to meet her eyes as he stared doggedly over her head.

"Your dad seemed nice," she said softly, doing her best to diffuse his discomfiture, even though she didn't really understand what he had to be embarrassed about.

His lips twitched in the semblance of a smile, but he only ran a hand distractedly through his hair as he tugged her down the street. "Yeah, he's great. Are you hungry?"

She was, but didn't have any Muggle money. Rolling his eyes, he gave her a condescending look. "I always keep a few Muggle notes on me in case of emergencies. What would you like?"

Emerging out onto a main thoroughfare, they blended easily with the night crowds and she was suddenly thankful he was wearing a plain charcoal sweater along with worn jeans and scuffed trainers instead of robes. It was a Friday night toward the end of the summer, so there were plenty of kids their age loitering on the streets. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him. "I could go for some chips."

"Chips. Right. Healthy. No wonder you're so fat, Evans." The barb barely pricked her since she was so used to his brotherly teasing. Besides, he was distracted and had said it more out of habit than intention. Without warning he dropped her wrist and reached impossibly deep into the pocket of his trousers. His arm went in up to the elbow and he fished around for a moment before locating his stash. She stood in bemusement as he withdrew a small wad of pound notes and handed it over without a care. "This should be enough."

Her eyes nearly popped when she realized he had given her over a thousand pounds. Stripping one bill from the wad, she put the rest in his hand and smiled. "This is more money than I made working all summer, James. Do you always carry this much on you?"

The charming, lopsided grin he gave her was enough to make her heart flutter uncomfortably, but she ignored it to give him a stern look. Dropping his hand onto her head, he rumpled her hair affectionately. "You know me, Evans. I just like to be prepared."

He was acting strange. She wondered if she had shocked him. Most of the time, he was all smiles and jokes. Nearly everybody enjoyed his carefree demeanor, but she had to admit it was frustrating to work with someone who was physically incapable of giving a straight answer.

Even so, like everyone else, she genuinely liked James Potter. Since she wasn't dead, she couldn't deny that he was handsome enough to make any girl swoon, but he was also funny, clever, and secretly very kind. Unfortunately, he could also be rude, thoughtless, spoiled, and unintentionally cruel. Finding the balance was the tricky part.

"Have I got something on my face, Evans?" James asked suddenly, reaching up to wipe discretely at his nose. "Only, I thought you were hungry. Why are you just standing there staring at me?"

"Thanks for calling Dumbledore," she blurted abruptly. Her cheeks flushed and she looked away. "I mean... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been here tonight..."

Gathering her courage, she looked up to find him giving her a wry look that made her feel even more awkward and stupid. Shaking his head at her, he rapped his knuckles briskly against her forehead. "Just don't try anything foolish like that again, Evans. As a special favor? I won't always be around to rescue you and you should probably leave the heroics to the professionals."

"Right, because almost getting trampled by a hippogriff is _so_ professional," she teased as they headed toward the nearest pub.

"If you'll recall, I did that to save your life, you ungrateful cow," he shot back indignantly.

"Only _after_ shooting off the tickling charm that caused it to bolt in the first place!" she reminded him with a giggle.

Holding the door for her, he gave her a surly look. "Well, it's not _my_ fault that _someone_ didn't have the common sense to move out of the way."

"I tripped!" she said defensively.

"Yeah. Like a girl," he retorted sarcastically, as if the fact she was a girl proved his side of the argument.

They continued to bicker like siblings all the way to the table, but James took a break to flirt with the pretty blonde waitress. Charmed and surprised, the girl shot several surreptitious looks her way, but Lily kept her eyes riveted on the menu. He'd done this sort of thing before and Lily had long since ceased to be offended. She was convinced that he didn't really see her as a girl. Besides, he had already told her repeatedly and quite plainly that he didn't fancy fat, bossy gingers.

He waited until the girl had taken their orders and walked away before holding out a slip of paper. "What is this? I've got about a drawer full of these things and I really don't get the fascination Muggle girls have with giving them out."

"It's a telephone number, James," she explained without looking up. "A Muggle way of contacting people. Honestly, you should know that from Muggle Studies."

"You say that like you think I actually pay attention in that class," he replied mockingly.

Giving him a sharp look, she said, "Right, I forgot that's the time you take to work on experimental spells and pranks."

"Too right, Evans," he said with a smug grin. He made himself a bit more comfortable and she had to tuck her feet under the chair as he stretched his long legs out around her. Rumpling his hair distractedly, he glanced around the bustling pub. "What's that?"

In her experience with people from wizarding families, this was a game that everyone liked to play when they got into the Muggle world. When conversation ran dry, they would resort to playing "What's that?" and she would spend the next half hour explaining things like public telephones and post boxes.

"A billiard table," she informed him blandly.

He pointed again. "What's that?"

Sighing, she flicked her eyes over to the object. "A pinball machine."

"What's that?"

She had to fight back a giggle. "A _chair_."

"Fascinating." He grinned and leaned his arms on the table. "Other than a catastrophic rescue attempt, how have your holidays been, Evans?"

Lily couldn't help smiling at his charming expression. "It's been fine. I've been working in a shop and I even had a couple of dates."

His eyes widened in surprise. "With boys?"

Giving him a sarcastic look, she shook her head. "No, James, with gnomes. Yes _boys!_"

"Huh. Muggle boys must have _really_ low standards," he prodded blithely.

She glared at him, but held back as the waitress brought their food. Once she disappeared through the crowd, however, she leaned forward and whispered, "Flynn McGray asked me out at the end of last term and I accepted."

Raising an eyebrow at her over his plate, he shook out his napkin and tucked in. "The Ravenclaw who just graduated? Did he tell you about his collection of sweater vests?"

"Don't be an ass," she grumbled irritably.

Taking a sip of beer, he almost choked when he chuckled, "How many times did he use the word "_fantastic!_" for no apparent reason?"

She shook her head at him. "Wow. You are in rare form tonight."

"Yeah, well I didn't expect the pleasure of your company." His grin was surprisingly affectionate as he reached over to daub a finger full of mashed potatoes on the end of her nose.

"I hate you," she sighed, trying not to laugh as she scrubbed it away with her napkin.

"Liar," he shot back easily. She looked down as silence fell between them. "Did he kiss you?"

Her head came up in surprise. "What?"

"McGray," he reminded her simply. He was watching the flow of customers through the door without an apparent care in the world, making the question seem oddly out of place. "Since I assume you two shared a magical, sweater filled evening, I figure you let him kiss you goodnight. Your first kiss, yeah? How was it?"

Warmth flooded her cheeks as she pressed her lips together. "Actually, you stole my first kiss during fifth year after the Halloween feast. You probably don't remember it. You seemed a little giddy. I sort of assumed it was the result of a Cheering Charm."

He glanced at her thoughtfully, but looked almost immediately away. "Sorry about that. I hope it wasn't too traumatizing."

Her blush grew a bit more pronounced as she remembered that evening. She had found him giggling hysterically in a stairwell and taken pity on him. With difficulty, she'd hauled him up and dragged his arm over her shoulders to support him. They made it up one flight of stairs before his feet got tangled with hers. Falling hard against a wall, she had laughed and said something about him being hopeless. The next thing she knew, his hands were in her hair and he was kissing her in a way that made her entire body tingle with mind-numbing heat.

The memory was making her stomach do strange things. Desperate to divert her attention, she asked, "What did you do with your holidays, James?"

"Lots of things. I traveled. Met people. Very nearly caused an international scandal concerning the Prime Minister of Belgium," he shrugged easily.

She noticed that his eyes were following one specific person around the room. He was a very respectable looking gentleman in a suit with a canary yellow tie and thick framed glasses. His attire more than anything else begged the question: what the hell was he doing in a dive like this?

"That's funny," James murmured without seeming to notice.

Tilting her head to the side, she gave him a curious look. "What is?"

"Vampires aren't supposed to be hunting in London anymore," he said softly. "The Ministry has been cracking down on all forms of part-humans."

"How do you know he's hunting?" Lily asked nervously. "Maybe he's just popped in for a drink or something."

He raised an eyebrow as he nodded at the man who was wandering over to talk to the pub mistress. "Look how hungry he is. And you can practically smell the pheromones from here. He's not in for the blood pudding, I'll tell you that much."

"What do we do?" she asked anxiously.

Finally, he looked at her and smiled. "I'd say you've had a bit more adventure than you need today. If he's a vampire worth his salt, he won't be afraid of a pair of snotty nosed kids anyway. Stay here and pay the tab. I'm gonna pop to the loo."

"James-"

"Don't worry, Evans," he assured her with a smile as he pushed himself away from the table. "I don't think you're his type. I'd say he only fancies pretty girls."

Ignoring the nettle, she caught his hand before he could move away. "Honestly, James, are we just gonna let someone get attacked?"

Leaning down over her, he tweaked her nose and smiled. "It'll be fine, Evans. Trust me."

"Ever notice how something terrible _always_ happens when you say that to me?" she asked humorously.

He only laughed as he tugged his hand away and moved off to the toilet. There was no way the tab would amount to a hundred pounds, but she folded the note and set it under the salt shaker anyway. That way she missed James catching the suspicious man by his collar and hauling him into the back with him. She only noticed when he rushed out a moment later looking panicked.

Emerging with a pleasant smile, James clapped his hands together and nodded his head toward the door. "Right then. Let's shove off." Catching her skeptical look, he held out his hands. "I'm not completely irresponsible, Evans. Trust me. It's sorted."

She could do nothing but shake her head as he caught her hand and tugged her toward the door. James Potter was definitely full of surprises. It was one of the things that she liked most about him.

He led her to a quiet side street to call the Knight Bus. Once on board, he paid for their tickets and ushered her up the stairs to the top deck where the brass beds were completely empty. Tugging her after him, he made himself comfortable on a bed situated at the front of the bus and leveled her with a stern look.

"All right, then, Evans, have a seat. I've rescued you, fed you, and we are now safely headed back to your parent's house. I think I've earned a bit of an explanation," he told her frankly.

Biting her lip, she gingerly perched on the edge of the bed. She was nervous, so she pinned her hands between her knees to avoid fidgeting. "I was walking home from work and I saw two men bothering some Muggles. One of them attacked. I stunned him, but the other guy came after me. I wasn't good enough. I don't know what he would have done if the Aurors hadn't arrived."

She glanced up nervously, but couldn't read his expression in the dim light. She wondered if he guessed the part she had skipped over. If he wanted her to say it again. The very thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach. What _was_ that spell? She didn't know things like that existed. Hogwarts didn't exactly specialize in spells that caused pain.

The bed springs squeaked as he leaned forward, but she didn't guess what he was about until he stabbed his hand under her hair at the back of her neck and flipped it up over her face. He rubbed it forcefully into her head until she jerked away from him. Anger flared up, but it was almost immediately replaced by something else. Hot tears puddled in her eyes as she glared at him, but he was smoothing her hair down with a concerned look.

"Sorry... sorry, Evans. I'm so sorry," he murmured, gently cupping her head while he hooked his arm around her waist to pull her close.

"You wanker!" she sobbed pitifully, slapping her hand ineffectually at his chest.

He hugged her tighter, dragging her back to lay across his chest between his legs. His hand smoothed down her hair in a comforting gesture. "I know. I know. It's okay."

"I hate you," she whimpered, fisting her hands in his shirt.

"I know," he said softly. He didn't hush her. Didn't try to stop her tears. He let her cry until she was done. Afterward, he gave her his handkerchief and said she looked like a puffskein.

Letting out a soft laugh, she nodded. "Thanks James."

His grin was devastating as he leaned in to brush a stray tear off her temple. "Anytime."

"I really don't hate you," she admitted quietly.

Putting an arm around her shoulders, he hugged her gently. "I know."

It was after midnight before they arrived at her house. Number 23, Yearling was one of many houses crammed onto a busy street, but it was saved from being stuffy by the terrace garden that looked out over the bustling city with remote serenity. Of course that couldn't be seen from the street. What she could see was the living room light burning even though it was long past time for her father to be in bed.

"Do you want to come inside, James?" she asked nervously as he helped her down from the bus.

"Sure," he shrugged.

William Evans was in the parlour staring half-heartedly at a book when they entered. Looking up expectantly, he set the book aside and rushed to draw his daughter into a tight hug. "Oh my god, Lily. What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Dad. Everything's fine," she assured him quickly.

"She's lying to make you feel better," James announced honestly.

To his surprise, her father only smiled at him. "Yeah, she does that. She got it from her mum. You must be James Potter."

Lily huddled in the curve of his arm while he reached out to shake James's hand. A spark of anxiety kindled in her stomach as James recognized a kindred spirit. He grinned as he clasped the older man's hand. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

"You can call me Will," he told him pleasantly. "Thanks for taking care of my girl."

Chuckling, James reached up to rumple his hair. "Yeah, well, I figure she's earned it with all the help she's lent to me over the years."

"Why don't you stay the night, James?" her father offered suddenly.

Lily felt a sharp thrill of alarm in her stomach as she stepped away. "Dad, no. He's probably tired and needs to-"

"I insist," Will interrupted cleanly. "It's late and this is really the least we can do. Right Lily?"

He ignored the pleading look she was trying to give him and stared at her pointedly until she turned to James with a bright smile. "Of course. Please stay, James."

Shrugging his shoulders, he accepted without hesitation and Lily groaned inwardly. Since she was home safe, her father bade them a cheerful goodnight and headed off to bed. As the door closed behind him, James turned to her with a smile. "He seemed nice."

"Don't start," she grumbled as she headed for the stairs.

"What?" he asked incredulously. "I was paying you a compliment."

"Yes, but you had that stupid look on your face that makes me feel like you're laughing at me," she pointed out irritably.

He only grinned as he followed her up the stairs. The guest room was right beside her own, but she didn't bother telling him. Instead she showed him the bathroom and asked him if he needed anything.

"I usually sleep naked, so I should be alright," he told her absently as he turned around the room with his hand on his head. After a moment, he gave her a curious look. "Are all of your rooms this small? Can I see yours?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she shook her head with a smile. "No."

She would have said more, but the door banged open downstairs and suddenly she had something else to worry about. Forgetting her guest, she rushed out to help her sister, who was stumbling acrobatically over her spiky stilettos. Petunia Evans was tall, blonde, and thin like their father. Unfortunately, it seemed that she couldn't come home from university without drinking herself into a stupor anymore.

"Oh, Tuny, not again," Lily sighed as she caught the older girl on the way to the stairs.

Petunia's unfocused blue eyes snapped angrily as she glared at her. "Fuck you, witch."

The impact of her words were somewhat lessened when she threw up. Bile rose in the back of her throat as she gingerly caught her sister's arms to turn her toward the stairs. She paused momentarily when she caught sight of James watching her with a concerned frown on the landing, but she just smiled. "You can go to bed, James. My sister had a bit of a rough night."

"Would you like a hand?" he asked quietly.

"Who the fuck is that?" Petunia slurred viciously.

"That's a friend, Tuny," Lily told her gently as she hugged an arm around her waist to support her up the stairs. "We're gonna go take a shower now, Petunia. I'll wash the sick out of your hair."

Petunia let out an obnoxious giggle as she swayed dangerously. "Why don't you use your magic, Lil? Cast a spell on me."

"Right, because that will solve everything," she muttered sarcastically, all too aware of James watching them.

"God, you're such a _bitch_!" Petunia slurred, swinging her arm to smack her in the side of the face with her purse.

From nowhere James's hand shot out and caught the older girl's wrist in an iron grip. Lily looked up in surprise as he jerked her forward and hit her with a stunning spell. She opened her mouth to protest, but he simply threw the unconscious girl over his shoulder and turned toward the bathroom.

"You shouldn't have done that, James," she bit out angrily as she hurried in his wake.

Flicking on the light, he moved to place her in the bathtub and switched on the water without hesitation. "It's a better solution than standing around watching you fight with your sister. If I've learned anything from Sirius over the years, it's never argue with a drunk."

"Thanks. I'll log that away," she said sarcastically, stepping around him in order to wipe the vomit off her sister's face. Biting her lip, she gave him a pained look. "Petunia isn't a bad person. She's just been upset since mum passed."

His expression made it obvious that he wasn't convinced, but he stood back while she finished cleaning, turned off the water, and dried her sister with the help of her wand. Once that was done, he moved forward to lift the thin girl out of the bathtub and carried her to her bedroom.

After making her sister comfortable, Lily carefully turned off the lights, ushered him out into the hallway, and closed the door behind her. She couldn't meet his eyes as she leaned back against the hard wood. "I'm sorry you had to see that, James. You should go to bed. It's late."

His eyes were full of disbelief as he stared at her. Feeling uncomfortable, she hugged herself and looked away. "What?"

"I'd say you had a pretty rough night, Evans. So tell me why in the _bloody hell_ you are apologizing to _me_," he demanded in a hard voice.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know."

Heaving a heavy sigh, James took a step closer to her. She was confused about what he was up to until he bent down to hook his arms around her thighs. He lifted her easily and she squeaked in surprise as he bore her into her bedroom. The lights flicked on with a low word and he ferried her to her bed before dropping her unceremoniously onto the pink comforter. Pushing herself up from her sprawled position, she stared at him as he crossed to her wardrobe.

"What do you think-?"

"I can't do it anymore, Evans," he interrupted abruptly as he retrieved a soft white nightgown and returned to her side. "You're just too good at pretending you're fine. Everyone believes you! The sots... Listen, you've been through enough trauma for one night. You need to be looked after and it seems I'm the only one to do it."

"James, you don't-" She gasped when he pushed her jacket off her shoulders and moved on to her sweater. "Oi!"

His grin was maddening as he paused. "You should try to be a little quieter, Evans. People are sleeping."

Fighting him desperately, she hissed, "I don't think my dad had shagging his daughter in mind when he asked you to stay the night!"

"Well that's a bit inconsiderate of him," he quipped as he worked the garment up over her tummy. "Don't mind, Evans, I've seen it all before."

"Since when?" she asked in outrage.

He gave her an impatient look. "Well, not _yours_, obviously. But you girls all have basically the same parts, yeah? I've just seen better."

"I am _not_ letting you undress me!" she giggled as he wrestled her onto her back.

"Why not, Evans?" he shot back mischievously as his hands slid under her shirt. "You might like it. And I've never shagged a fat bird, so-"

"You are such a bastard," she laughed, her cheeks going red as he unhooked her bra. "I can change myself, James."

Raising his eyebrows, he shook his head sadly. "No. You're obviously in shock. Being Head Boy means I need to look out for you, Evans, and sometimes that means doing things you don't like for your own good."

Her lips quirked into an amused smile as she dropped her hands from her chest. "Fine."

It was gratifying to see him blink in surprise. "What?"

"Go ahead. If you need to change me in order to feel better about yourself, then I won't get in your way," she shrugged.

Leaning back, he laughed and shook his head before tossing the nightgown in her face. "Get changed, Evans. I'll go make tea."

"Aw, but you seemed so insistent," she teased as he ducked out the door.

She couldn't understand his sudden acquiescence, but tried not to think about it as she swiftly changed into a light summer nightgown. He had teased her like that before and the harder she fought him, the more determined he became. She had only learned recently that giving in made him stop faster than anything else.

Her bare feet made almost no noise as she padded down the stairs to the kitchen. The kettle was on and the stove was lit while James systematically rifled through all of their cabinets in search of tea. Giving him a calm smile, she moved over to the canisters on the counter and picked up the one labeled Tea.

"You have a bruise on your stomach and a burn behind your ear," he pointed out quietly as he set out two mugs. "Is there anything you want to tell me about them?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head.

The kettle whistled and she pulled it quickly off the heat and filled their cups. She could feel him watching her. In fact, she could see him out of the corner of her eye. Waiting. After a moment, she sighed and turned to give him his mug. "What does... crucio mean?"

James's eyes closed in horror and he set aside the cup to keep from dropping it. It took him a minute to answer, but finally he said, "That's the incantation for the Cruciatus Curse. It's a torture spell. Dark wizards use it on their victims."

"Oh." The news was a bit shocking, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. After a pause, she smiled. "I guess I'm pretty lucky, then."

His look was caustic. "Pretty stupid is more like it."

She smiled wryly. "Thanks. That's really what I need to hear right now."

"If that's what keeps you from acting like you're bloody invincible, then I don't care," he shot back irritably.

"Oh and you're one to talk!" she bit out defensively. She regretted the words almost as soon as they were out of her mouth. Shaking her head, she forced herself to keep calm. "This is what I love most about our relationship, James. Our complete inability to have a civil conversation."

"You're angry with me, aren't you?" he asked smugly.

"Is that what you're trying for?" she retorted impatiently.

"Maybe," he said coyly. Moving forward, he tapped her nose and leaned in close to her face. "Don't ever pretend with me, Evans. I can read you like a book."

Shaking her head and trying not to smile, she mumbled, "You are such an ass."

"I know," he grinned, taking her cup from her hands and setting it in the sink. She was about to question him when he scooped her up in his arms and headed for the stairs. "Come along, Evans. Time for bed. You can't expect me to look after you all night. I'm a growing boy. I need my rest."

She gave him a searching look as he easily climbed the stairs. "If you're so tired, why are you carrying me?"

"It's faster than arguing," he told her simply. "And by the way, I'm sleeping with you tonight."

"Why? Are you afraid the Muggles will get you?" she teased as they entered her bedroom.

He set her gently on the bed before giving her a pointed look. "You're going to have nightmares. I figured I'm the one who's best equipped to wake up to screaming."

For once she didn't fight with him. Instead, she simply scooted over in bed while he turned off the light. She heard him rustling his clothing and froze. "You had better not be getting naked right now."

"Only in your dreams, Evans," he teased, laying down on top of the covers and putting his arms around her. They lay still for a moment before he shifted. "So, the way I see it, I saved you from a horrible situation, bought you dinner, _and_ brought you home-"

"Are you really going to keep harping on how wonderful you are?" she asked with a sleepy smile.

He made a bearlike growl deep in his chest and squeezed her gently. "I'm only bringing it up _because_ I think I deserve a goodnight kiss just as much as McGray. Maybe more."

"If I thought you actually wanted a kiss as much as McGray did, I wouldn't mind giving you one," she shot back lightly.

"Stingy," he taunted playfully, running his fingers up her side to make her squirm.

"I thought you were tired," she whispered in amusement.

His breath on her neck was giving her chills as he cuddled her closer. "Right. No snogging, no shagging, and now no talking. That's why it's so fun at your house, Evans."

"Are you always this whiny at bedtime, Potter?" she asked.

"I've always been spoiled," he admitted easily.

Rolling over on her back she looked at him thoughtfully. Faint moonlight spilled through the window, lighting on the side of his face. He had taken his glasses off for bed and his face looked oddly bare without them. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him without his glasses since his eyes were so weak. The few times he had lost them in public, he had obviously been uncomfortable.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she lifted her hand to touch his face. His eyes were inscrutable as he watched her, making her feel unaccountably nervous. Licking her lips, she smiled at him. "You don't really want a kiss, do you?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and suddenly the tension was broken. Of course not. She was being stupid. "If I wanted a kiss, Evans, I would take it."

"Oh right. I forgot about that spoiled rich kid mentality," she murmured softly.

"Very important," he nodded with mock-severity.

Smiling, she pressed her hand to his cheek before dropping it away and rolling over. "Goodnight, James."

"Evans?"

She turned expectantly, but was taken completely by surprise when he hooked his hand around the back of her head and pulled her forward for a kiss. His lips were gentle as they brushed lightly against hers, but it wasn't nearly enough. The arm around her waist tugged impatiently and she turned into his embrace. Curling his fingers into her hair, he nipped tenderly at her bottom lip before easing her closer to deepen the kiss.

Drawing back, she pressed her lips together uncertainly. "I don't think this is very professional."

"Damn, and I was trying so hard," he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again.

Her hand came up to intercept and she smiled. "Goodnight, James."

Not seeming to understand, he stared at her wryly through her fingers for a moment. At length, he smirked. "All right then. Goodnight, Evans."

Smoothing her hand down to his chin, she kissed him quickly and rolled over. "Goodnight."

She could feel his chagrin, but he didn't push her. Within minutes, his breathing deepened and evened out. Lily smiled as she turned to watch his sleeping face, trying to tell herself that she didn't fancy James Potter. He was like a brother to her. An _annoying_ brother who treated her horribly three-quarters of the time. It was only on days like this when he showed up just in the nick of time to do something unexpectedly wonderful in his terrible way that she wondered about the way her heart sped up when she was near him or ached when he was with someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't have any bad dreams. In fact, she didn't have any dreams at all. When she woke up, she was alone and she dared to hope for a second that the previous evening had _been_ the dream. Her father went to chess in the park on Saturday mornings, so the house was quiet as she made her way to the bathroom. Still bleary with sleep, she went in to use the toilet and pulled up short at the sight of James Potter wet and dripping from the shower with only a towel covering his lower half.

"Whoa! Oh my god, James, what are you doing?" she cried, trying vainly to shield her eyes and glare at him at the same time.

Tilting his head curiously, he smiled. "Morning Evans."

"There is a lock on this door, James," she told him sternly. "Why didn't you use it?"

Slipping on his glasses, he stared at the doorknob blankly before smiling at her. "Sorry. We don't really have those in my house. We've got about thirty bathrooms."

"Why aren't you getting dressed?" she asked incredulously.

"Because you're standing right here and something tells me you wouldn't quite appreciate me getting naked right now," he replied with a laugh.

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay," she stammered, grabbing the doorknob and accidentally slamming it into her leg. "You- you- you can get dressed and I... I will go make breakfast. Yeah? Breakfast."

"I want pancakes!" he called after her as she rushed down the hall.

Limping slightly, she dashed into the kitchen and began pulling things out at a frantic pace. She didn't even know why she was in such a hurry, but her hands were shaking and her face was so red that it hurt. What was _wrong _with him?

"Could you possibly make some more noise, Lily?" Petunia sniped as she stumbled into the kitchen. She was only wearing a short, peach silk robe and her hair and makeup were still a mess from the impromptu shower the night before. Her eyes were red and watery as she moved over to check the coffee pot. "Ugh... couldn't you have at least started a new pot?"

Crossing the room to do as she asked, she apologized in a soft voice. It was no good to antagonize her sister when she was like this. Petunia had always been like a manticore first thing in the morning, but hung over she was a grumpy manticore. Staying quiet and doing whatever she said was the best way to avoid being mauled.

With the pancakes on the griddle and coffee bubbling away, Lily had the situation well in hand until she tried to give her sister her cup. Petunia threw out her hand impatiently and knocked the boiling hot liquid all over her. She bit back a yelp of pain as her sister turned to glare at her.

"Fuck! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" the older girl shouted angrily. "I wanted _coffee_, Lily! Can't you just hand me the coffee like a normal person? Oh my god, you are _such_ a pest! Are you gonna cry now?"

"What the hell happened?" James asked in surprise. Showered and dressed, he stood in the doorway watching the drama in stunned disbelief. "Evans, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she tried to reassure him, even though she was shaking in pain.

"Pancakes are burning," Petunia reminded her as she flipped idly through a magazine.

She turned to save them, but found herself caught around the waist and hauled briskly into James's arms. Though she struggled, he carried her up the stairs without a word and dumped her in the bathtub much the same way he had done to her sister the night before. She shrieked when he turned the cold water on, but his hands were gentle as he pulled away her nightgown.

Tears puddled in her eyes as she slapped him away. "Why do you keep trying to undress me?"

"Why do you make it so easy?" he shot back with a calming smile. Catching her hands so that she would stop swatting at him, he leaned close, heedless of the cool water falling over him. "I want you to shower off and get clean, Evans. If you need it when you come downstairs I will heal you. I'll save breakfast and deal with Medusa. Don't worry about anything, yeah? I've got it under control."

Before leaving, he clasped his hands around her dripping head and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. Once he had gone, she switched on a bit of hot water and had a proper shower. The bruise on her stomach was now overlaid with a tender red burn, but it wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be.

She returned to the kitchen to find everything well in hand. Her sister was reading her magazine as though nothing had happened and James was setting out a perfectly prepared breakfast. He grinned when he spotted her in a soft linen dress and she tilted her head at him curiously. "I never knew you could cook, James."

"I am a man of many talents," he replied easily, setting the plate in front of her and motioning for her to eat.

Lily sat and looked at her sister nervously. It only took her a moment to realize something was wrong. Glassy-eyed and unfocused, Petunia stared blankly at an advertisement for bonbons. Shooting James a sharp look, she asked, "What did you do to her?"

"Just a little calming spell," he replied as he took a seat beside her. "It won't hurt her and it'll wear off in a couple of hours."

She didn't like that he had done it. Somehow, it felt _wrong_ to use magic to control Muggles. They couldn't defend themselves and most of the time they didn't even understand what was going on. Just because you had a magical solution to your problems didn't mean you should use it, right?

"She'll be _fine_, Evans," James assured her quietly. "Something much worse would have happened if I had to sit back watching her call you a witchy little bitch for another hour. It's not right the way she talks to you."

"She doesn't mean it," Lily defended her unhappily. "She's just angry. I don't mind the way she talks."

His eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "Don't be daft, Evans. Of course you mind. Anyone would _mind_ being talked to like that."

"You say horrible things to me all the time," she pointed out defensively. "What's the difference?"

Before he could answer, the doorbell rang. Lily glanced curiously at the clock as she rose from her seat. Who would be here at this time? The mystery was solved when she caught sight of Flynn McGray waiting on her stoop. He was a handsome boy with neatly trimmed blonde hair and deep brown eyes. The minute she opened the door, he dragged her into his arms.

"Oh my god, Lily, are you all right? I read about the attack in the Prophet," he explained in a rush, catching her shoulders and leaning back to have a look at her. "Whatever possessed you to do something like that?"

"Too brave for her own good, I guess," James spoke up from behind her. Lily froze as the two boys stared each other down. "It's a Gryffindor trait. You wouldn't know anything about it, McGray."

"Potter," the blonde boy bit out tersely. His eyes were hard and nervous as he looked over the younger man, who stood almost a full head taller than him and had long since proved himself to be stronger and faster. "What are you doing here?"

Putting a hand on his chest, Lily took a step back and smiled between them. For some reason they reminded her of dogs about to fight over a bone. "Flynn, James helped me get home from London last night. We got in so late that my dad insisted he stay the night. We were just having breakfast. Are you hungry? I'm sorry I scared you."

The boys continued to stare at one another in tense silence for another moment before James grinned. "Actually, I should probably be going."

"Yeah. I'm sure you have other things to do," Flynn nodded, taking a confident step into the house.

Feeling awkward pinned between them in the entryway, Lily turned back to catch James's hand. "You really don't have to-"

"I'm bored anyway," he announced with a shrug, drawing his hand smoothly out of her grasp. He smiled coolly when he looked up at his old schoolmate. "Evans isn't exactly the sort of person I hang around for fun. Don't know how you can stand it, McGray, but I guess to each his own."

Raising his eyebrows in surprise at the rude words, Lily expected Flynn to say something to defend her. She half-hoped he wouldn't since it would only cause a fight, but she was still a little let down when he said, "You should probably be going, then."

"Right." James reached across to shake the other boy's hand, squeezing just a hair harder than necessary before flicking his eyes over to her. "Walk me out, Evans."

Her cheeks burned self-consciously as she stepped past the older boy to show him to the door. She couldn't meet his eyes as she opened it for him, but he paused patiently. Leaning down to look into her face, he pressed a small oval mirror into her palm and smiled genuinely. "If you need anything, Evans, anything at all, flick this three times and say my name. I'll come find you wherever you are."

Confused, Lily finally looked up at him. "James-"

He didn't let her finish. Spearing a hand through her hair, he caught her around the back of the head and kissed her hard. Her mind went blank as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, biting and licking so that she felt he was going to devour her whole. It only lasted for a few seconds, but she felt like she was burning by the time he pulled away.

Giving a cocky smirk, he chucked his knuckles under her chin and stepped back. "See you in school."

She blinked and he was gone. Shaking her head to clear it, she pushed the door shut and turned to find Flynn regarding her with unmasked incredulity. "What was that?"

"Um..." Her fingers clenched around the mirror and she shifted it discretely behind her while her mind worked desperately for an explanation. "He likes to mess with me."

That being the exact wrong thing to say, Flynn's eyes popped in shock. He followed agitatedly as she moved past him to the kitchen. She noticed vaguely that Petunia had wandered off somewhere and privately hoped she was safe while she began cleaning the aftermath of breakfast. She could feel his eyes practically boring holes into the back of her head as he watched her. When it seemed like the tension was about to make him explode, he asked, "And what _else_ do you let him do to mess with you?"

Shooting him an impatient look, she shook her head. "_Nothing_. Come on, Flynn, it's James Potter. He'll do anything to bother someone."

"Well, it worked," he said, accepting the cup of coffee she offered and giving her a stern look. "Actually, I'm most bothered by the fact that you kissed him back."

"I did not!" she laughed. His eyes were skeptical as he glared at her. "What? I didn't!"

Moving to slump into a kitchen chair, he pensively twisted the cup between his hands. "I'm not stupid, Lily. I know how girls like Potter and his mates. I just didn't think you were one of his fans."

Rolling her eyes, Lily shook her head with a smile. "James is like a brother to me. He teases me and treats me like rubbish all the time and once in a very blue moon he does something nice. You don't need to get jealous-"

"I'm not jealous!" he retorted impatiently. "Excuse me for being a little insecure when my girlfriend spends the night with James _sodding_ Potter."

Turning away from the sink, Lily gave him a hard look. "You should leave."

Caught off guard, he stared at her blankly. "What?"

"You need to go," she repeated softly. "You've got all these mad ideas about things that never happened and I don't like these accusations. If you can't trust me enough to believe me when I say nothing happened, I don't think you have any more business being in my house."

"Lily-" he tried to reason with her.

"I'm _not_ your girlfriend," she interrupted in a hard voice. "We went on three dates."

"Do you know _why_ boys never ask you out?" he asked angrily, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Frowning in confusion, Lily shook her head. "It doesn't make much sense, does it? You're pretty, smart, fun to be around. People like you, but _no one_ has asked you on a date in more than year because your _mate_ Potter and his friends won't let other guys go fucking near you."

Shaking her head, she put out a hand to stop him. "Don't be daft. James-"

"Think about it, Lily," he argued heatedly. "The last few boys who did ask you out broke up with you for no apparent reason, yeah? Why do you think I waited until _after_ I graduated to talk to you?"

"Right. Of course." She nodded, unable to believe anything he was saying. "The Marauders are running a huge conspiracy that I know nothing about to keep me single. Why exactly would they do that? None of them fancy me."

"Why do they do anything, Lily?" he shot back irritably. "It's just some mad joke to them and you're playing right into it!"

Fed up, Lily caught his arm and pushed him toward the door. "That's enough, Flynn. I'm done. You are... _insane_ and I want you to leave."

He was dragging his feet, but reluctantly allowed her to muscle him outside. Giving her a disappointed look, he said, "I'm sorry I upset you. I'll phone after you've calmed down."

"Don't bother," she murmured, slamming the door and locking it behind her. Leaning back against it, she crouched down and covered her head with her hands, taking deep breaths in a bid for calm.

"You're wrong, you know," Petunia spoke suddenly from the stairway. Lily looked up to see that her sister had had a shower and changed into a clingy dress that was a riot of patterns and colors. "About that kid, Potter."

Straightening slowly, Lily gave her a curious frown. "What do you mean?"

Too late she noticed that her sister didn't seem to be suffering from the calming spell anymore. Wasn't that supposed to last longer? It really wasn't like James to bollocks these kinds of things up.

Seeing her look, Petunia smiled and brushed past her. "Listen, Lil, I know we're not close, but let me give you a piece of sisterly advice. If I know about anything, it's boys. In my experience, boys don't get all worked up about girls they don't fancy."

Lily couldn't understand what she meant. Was she talking about Flynn? Petunia rolled her eyes at her confusion. Catching her purse from the hook on the wall, she stepped close to her sister and put a hand on her arm. "Whatever Potter said he did to me, he didn't. All he did was tell me off for being a bitch. Now, I don't know how different these magic boys are from normal blokes, but it's hard for them to say what they mean. They have to show it. A lad who doesn't fancy a girl doesn't travel cross country to see her home and _definitely_ doesn't come sneaking out of her bedroom early in the morning blushing like a virgin."

"Nothing happened, Petunia," Lily sighed in resignation.

Smugly, Petunia reached up to pat her face a little too roughly. "Keep telling yourself that, kid, but I see how you look at him."

She left before Lily could think of anything else to say, but she had given her plenty to think about. Was it possible James fancied her? With everything Flynn had said, it made some sense, but then there was the way James acted. He treated her like one of the guys. Said whatever he wanted whenever he thought of it, no matter how it would hurt her. Sometimes she thought he said those things on purpose. And he flirted with other girls whenever he was with her, making it obvious that he had no interest.

He was only really nice to her after something terrible had happened. When he made her cry, he would hug her and kiss her and tell her things would be okay. Then he would _make_ it okay. She didn't know how. It was like magic. With only a week left before school started, she had a lot to think about.


	3. Chapter 3

King's Cross Station was crowded with passengers on 1 September, but there were so many students on their way to school that no one noticed Lily in her Hogwarts uniform making her way discretely to Platform 9 ¾. Her father had dropped her off with assurances that she would be fine and her trunk had been shrunk down with a clever charm so that it could fit into the pocket of her jacket. After glancing around suspiciously, she passed easily through the barrier that led her through to the Hogwarts Express and joined the teeming throng of students bidding their parents goodbye and joyfully reuniting with their peers.

She entered the compartment at the front of the train to find James already in attendance and looking as though he had just rolled out of bed. His shirt was untucked, his tie askew, and his hair was what she imagined was the product of someone sticking a fork in a toaster.

"Evans," he greeted her absently, barely glancing up from his copy of the Daily Prophet.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Lily crossed the room quickly and snatched the periodical out of his thin hands. "You have got to be kidding me, James. Are you really going to meet the new school year looking like a mental patient? Stand up."

"I resent that very much. My uncle was in St. Mungos for a good part of his life and he was never forced to wear a tie," he informed her sardonically.

"Bully for him," Lily muttered impatiently. "You're Head Boy, James. You need to at least _try_ to act like that matters."

His hazel eyes were bored as he looked up at her from behind his oval glasses, but she planted her hands on her hips and tapped her foot uncompromisingly. Heaving an enormous sigh, James pushed himself out of the chair and stood patiently under her ministrations. In reality, the only reason he was so patient was because she returned the paper to him, so she got him in order with a lot less whining than usual.

"Where's your badge?" she asked curiously as she smoothed the lapels of his robes after straightening his tie.

Frowning, he fished the shiny gold trinket out of his pocket and handed it over.

"Honestly, James, don't you own a brush?" she giggled as she combed her fingers through his unruly hair.

Though he was forced to lean forward so that she could reach, he still shrugged his shoulders blithely with his eyes fixed on the paper. "I think they have a spell for that these days, Evans."

"Well what's the point if you don't use it?" she teased.

"I did," he said simply.

Lily bit back a sigh of impatience as she gave up on his hair. She had been mad to think for a moment that he might fancy her. He was like a child. Taking a step back to study the effect of her mothering, she felt a hard throb in the pit of her stomach. She hoped he didn't notice her cheeks heating as she looked away. In spite of everything, he was still very handsome.

"I think that's about the best I can do on short notice," she muttered unhappily. Hooking a strand of hair over her ear, she turned to the desk to pull out the school's calligraphy set. "Did you get those papers I sent you?"

"Yeah."

Lily waited for him to say more, but he was too busy reading to tell her his thoughts about club proposals or prefect schedules. Catching the edge of the paper with her index finger, she pulled it down just enough to look at him. She couldn't help smiling at his grimace of long suffering. "What are you reading?"

"The Ministry put out a proposal on restricting underaged wizardry. Forgive me if I find it a tad bit more interesting than Bertram Kines trying to do his rounds with narcolepsy," he said in a dry tone. After a moment's thought, he smiled. "Although, it does seem like a fairly interesting predicament. I say we have him work with Maisy Owens. She's tiny and prone to panic."

"You're terrible," she told him, trying to hold back her laughter as the first prefects entered the compartment.

"Speaking of terrible, _your_ hair looks a mess, Evans," he said bluntly as he folded his paper and slipped it calmly into his robes. After a moment, his eyes narrowed. "Did you find a spare stone over the holidays?"

Lily just managed to keep her smile in place, telling herself to appreciate his brutal, unnecessary honesty. Considering the fact that he lied compulsively to everyone else, she supposed she should feel special.

She excused herself in a soft voice and hurried to the bathroom. Tears stung the back of her eyes, but she blinked them away as she smoothed down her curly, dark red hair. She had left the house feeling relatively confident, but she couldn't help second-guessing herself as she went over and over her appearance.

"He just doesn't fancy you. Why are you surprised?" she murmured to her reflection.

Feeling only a little shaken, she returned to the head compartment to find James chatting with the prefects so naturally that she wanted to shake her head. It made her feel stuffy and grumpy, especially when he made the Hufflepuff prefect, Megan Givens, blush by complimenting her haircut.

"Since everyone's here, why don't we get started?" Lily called with a brisk smile, drawing several irritated looks from the group surrounding her charismatic counterpart. The train had only just gotten underway and they had the entire ride to discuss business.

"You're absolutely right, Evans," James piped up with a wry grin. "The sooner we get done here, the sooner we can cause trouble elsewhere. Right Megs?"

The flustered Hufflepuff could only blush and giggle incoherently. Running a hand through his hair, James gave her a flirtatious wink before taking the meeting in hand. He caught and held the attention of their peers with effortless ease, leaving Lily to stand in awe. James was a natural leader. Part of the reason they worked well together was because he was so well respected.

"Any questions?" he asked cheerfully as Lily finished recording the House passwords at the desk behind him. "Brilliant! You're all dismissed. Evans and I look forward to working with you."

"And if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to come to us," Lily volunteered with a warm smile.

Finally, James turned his grin on her and they shared a friendly smile before she turned to check over her notes. It only took a few minutes, but the room was practically empty by the time she was finished. She could feel Megan's eyes on the back of her head as she moved over to the school owl in order to send off the house passwords. The younger girl had been flirting ostentatiously with James, who seemed to be humoring her coyly.

"So, I was thinking, that perhaps we could study together sometime," she heard the girl suggest in a falsely casual tone. "I'm rubbish with Transfiguration and I hear that's your best subject..."

Lily had to choke back her laughter at the ruse as she took a little extra care at tying the scroll on the obedient bird's leg. James was very popular. She would be willing to bet this wasn't his first "study" proposition.

She turned in time to see James leaning comfortably on the arm of a chair, mussing his hair with a sheepish grin. "I think we might be able to work something out. We'll hash it out later, yeah? Only now I've got some Head business to discuss with Evans. Would you mind giving us a minute, love?"

Of course she couldn't say no to him. There were very few girls who could. He sent her sailing out the door with a foolish grin and Lily could only shake her head. "She's fourteen, James."

"Tell me about it," he sighed, waving at her through the window. The smile dropped from his face as he turned toward her and he combed his fingers thoughtfully through his hair. Catching her reproving look, he gave a little grimace. "Don't worry, Evans. I'm not going to spend the first few weeks of term chasing fifth year skirts."

"Right. With Quidditch, classes, Head Boy duties, and exploding toilets, I'm sure your plate is too full for your fans," she said wryly, taking a seat at the desk and crossing her ankles demurely beneath her chair.

"Too right."

He seemed to have something else to say, but he simply shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at her. It was common for him to play "Guess what I'm thinking," but she wasn't feeling particularly patient. Turning her back to him in order to put away the quills and parchment, she asked, "What did you want, James?"

"How are things with McGray?" he asked with just enough arrogance to nettle her.

"Fine," she said shortly, not wanting to give away too much.

He was quiet for a moment and she fought the urge to look at him. "Really?

She couldn't help turning and fixing him with a weary look. "I'm a big girl, James. I don't need you to check up on me."

"How does he feel about you and I bunking together?" he asked smugly.

"Considering the fact that it's part of our job, I don't see that it really matters," she evaded as she turned toward the door.

Stepping deftly in front of her, he smiled. "Are you sure he didn't take that little kiss too seriously?"

It made her nervous to have him standing so close, so she took a step back. Licking her lips, she took a deep breath. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time," he chuckled, reaching up to rumple his hair. "And McGray was being such a prat."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave him a hard look. "Are you warning people off of me?"

"What?" he asked in surprise, his confident air slipping just a little.

She took a determined step forward and stared up into his face. "Have you or have you not been harassing boys that fancy me and mucking up any chance I have at being in a normal relationship?"

Placing his hands gently on her cheeks, he leaned down so his nose was nearly touching hers and whispered, "You ought to get some help with these delusions, Evans. Believe it or not, the entire world does not revolve around you."

He let her go and went for the door, but she strode forward and grabbed his arm before he could escape. "I need you to be serious for just a minute, James."

"Alright. I don't see how this will help, but-" He turned and fixed his eyes squarely on her chest.

She watched him for just a moment before heaving an enormous sigh. "You're playing Sirius Black right now, aren't you?"

Humor lit his eyes as he glanced up at her. "You asked me to."

Closing her eyes, she took a breath for calm and shook her head. "I hate you more than anyone else in the entire world right now."

"Doubtful." Chucking his knuckles under her chin, he brushed his lips across hers before turning back to the door, leaving her standing dumbfounded in his wake.

After a few seconds of agitated thinking, Lily finally moved off and was soon listening sympathetically as her best friend, Alice Benton, poured her heart out. Friendly, blonde, and usually very upbeat, Alice was reclining with her head in Lily's lap, a thermos of tea on hand, and several chocolate frogs already hopping in her belly with a swarm more waiting to drown her sorrows.

"He doesn't even know I'm a girl! And _bloody_ Annabelle Arden treats him like he's her lap dog!" Alice complained expansively.

"Now, now," Lily hushed her, brushing her hair away from her forehead the way her mother had when she was alive. "Frank knows you're a girl. He likes you."

She found herself immediately confronted by Alice's irritated brown eyes and smiled apologetically. "I want sympathy, Lily, not reason."

"Gotcha. What a bitch," she said with a smile, offering her another chocolate frog.

Alice smiled wryly and accepted the sweet. "Thanks. I just hate seeing them together, you know?"

Lily nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Ugh, I need to stop whining!" Alice announced suddenly, pushing herself up and forcing a smile. "So, how does it feel to be Head Girl?"

"Almost the same as being Gryffindor Prefect," she replied wryly. "Only a little more stressful."

Raising an eyebrow, Alice grinned impishly. "And Potter?"

"Same as always," she said with a shrug. "Charming, intelligent, and a hopeless mess. I really might die this year."

"You've said that for the past two years, Lily," the other girl giggled. "I really don't think he's trying to kill you."

"One can never tell with Potter," she smirked. "He thinks I look fatter this year."

Alice's eyes widened in disbelief and she shook her head. "Ugh! He can be such a jerk. You know, just once I'd like to-"

The door to their compartment opened to let in a tall boy with a rugby player's physique and short cropped brown hair. Lily smiled while Alice blushed with stars in her eyes. "All right Frank?"

"Mind if I crash in here for a while?" he asked with a charming grin. "Annabelle needs some girl time and kicked me out."

"Of course! You're always welcome here," Alice said eagerly. "Pumpkin Pasty?"

He accepted the treat with a smile and wink, and sprawled across from her in a relaxed pose. "You look nice and tan, Al. How was the beach?"

The pretty girl dimpled and began telling him about her holidays in Spain and Lily pulled out a book. The pair had become friends on the first day of school and had remained close from that day on. Unfortunately, this meant that Frank saw her more as a mate than a girl. While he was in many other ways very sensitive to her moods, he was completely oblivious to her feelings for him.

Though Lily thought it seemed a little unhealthy, Alice subjected herself to the same torture for the rest of the train ride. As soon as they arrived, she took herself off to assist the first years. She knew how scary it was to come to Hogwarts for the first time. Even if no one else had pity on the poor little things, she wanted to do her best to make them feel comfortable.

"Firs' years! This way!" Hagrid beckoned in his friendly, terrifying way. His great bushy face split into a wide grin when he saw her. "All righ', Evans?"

"Hello Hagrid. How were the holidays?" she asked pleasantly as she sent a petite brunette with adorable pigtails his way.

"Busy," the giant man chuckled.

He bent over to say hello to the frightened child when a group of fourth years rushed past, accidentally bumping into Lily. She let out a soft cry as she was knocked off balance, but saved from falling when strong arms came around her. Without looking, some sense told her who it was. Her cheeks were already flushed when she looked up into Sirius's face with wide, startled eyes.

"I always figured you'd fall for me, Evans," he quipped with a devastating grin.

In a moment, her wrist was caught in a firm grip and she was pulled out of his arms by a stern-looking James. Glancing over her head, he frowned at his old friend. "Try to contain yourself, Padfoot."

Sirius ignored him and leered at her in a way that made her feel like something terrible was about to happen to her. "You're quite light on your feet, Evans."

Without warning, Peter caught her around the waist and started dragging her toward the carriages. "Don't mind, Evans. We just happen to be playing Musical Marauders and you're it!"

"That's nice, but I really-" She gasped as he inadvertently stepped on her foot, but found herself immediately whisked into the arms of Remus Lupin. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the heart-pattering princess hold, but more the way that made her feel like a sack of potatoes. And with her head and shoulders above the rest of the student body, it couldn't help drawing the attention and laughter of her peers. "Lupin, put me down, please."

"Aw, and here I thought you needed my assistance," he teased with a remorseless grin.

Lily desperately fought the urge to give in and bury her red face in his back. Holding herself stiffly, she groaned, "Please don't tell me becoming Head Girl makes me the Marauder's new favorite chew toy."

"Well, actually, it was-"

A hard jerk and "oof" of surprise stopped whatever he was going to say and she found herself tumbling backwards into James's expectant embrace. His face was sharp with anger as he glared at his friend and she subsided nervously. Without a word, he carried her over to the carriages and set her inside. His eyes were dark as he looked her over. "You'll want to be a little more defensive, Evans."

He slammed the door in her face and sent it off. In spite of the inconvenience, she was glad she was the only one inside. That entire scene had been humiliating. Not to mention the harsh way James had spoken to her. He had been so angry. Why did she always end up looking like a fool in front of him?

In spite of more suspicious behavior on the part of James's friends, the feast went relatively smoothly. And with the prefects on hand to help with the first years, it was almost entirely painless to conclude her duties and head off to her new apartments. The common room was light and airy with an entire wall of windows that stretched from the floor to the vaulted ceiling above. Since they were both Gryffindors, the traditional red and gold was prominent in the long drapes and wide area rug. Comfortable leather furniture set around a low table in front of an enormous fireplace, giving the space a warm, homey feel.

Lily sighed as her nerves began to melt away. Even here, she was tempted to expect some unforeseen crisis. Shaking her head, she let herself into the spacious bathroom to follow her evening routine. After a hot shower, she bundled herself up in her blue terrycloth robe and went to bed early.

Her dreams were less than peaceful, however. They had been tumultuous since her adventures with the dark wizards and she still hadn't figured out a way to control them. No matter how loud she screamed or how far she ran, she could never get away.

It was late when James got in. He stopped in surprise when he spotted Lily sitting up in the common room with a book and a raging fire blazing in the grate beside her. She was dressed in a loose nightgown with her legs curled beneath her. Putting a hand to his head, he gave her a curious look as he paused beside the sofa. "Did you wait up for me?"

Shaking her head, she gave him a calm smile over her book. "No. I just had a bad dream."

To her surprise, he moved around the couch and tilted his head curiously at her. "Did you dream you got a mark off on your homework?"

She gave him a wry look. "It was a bit worse than that."

"No helping it then," he sighed. She let out a muffled shriek as he bent to heave her off the couch and over his shoulder. She was painfully aware of his arms fixed securely around her bare thighs just above the knees, but he didn't seem to notice.

"That's really not nece- Ow." She winced as she bumped her head in the doorway to her room, but he didn't even pause. When he finally dropped her onto the fluffy mattress, she gave him her best irritated look, trying desperately to ignore the way her face was glowing. "What is this new fascination you and your mates have with treating me like last year's broomstick?"

His grin was heart stopping as he collapsed his lanky frame beside her. "I don't know what you mean."

"It's just that you-" She spluttered to a halt as he hooked a hand around her head and pulled it firmly onto his shoulder. "Er... James?"

"Yes Lily?" he replied patiently.

Her heart gave a profound thump at the use of her first name. Licking her suspiciously dry lips, she choked, "What are you doing?"

"I believe this is a common tactic one uses for comforting someone who is frightened," he explained quietly. His fingers fluttered over her hair. "There, there."

"Have you been drinking?" She tried to lift her head to frown at him, but failed when he clamped down stubbornly.

"I _said "T_here, there", Evans," he insisted, making her giggle. Her breath caught when he smiled easily down at her and his voice was gentle as he spoke. "Tell me your dream."

Lily bit her lip as he released his stranglehold on her head, but remained obediently still. She pleated her nightgown compulsively before heaving a soft sigh. "It's just those men. I dream they come into my house and attack my family. I can't do anything to stop them."

"Strange. In my nightmares I'm always stuck in the Muggle underground," he murmured thoughtfully. "Were there any trains in your dream?"

"I don't think so," she chuckled.

She didn't know how he could always make her feel better. Blinking sleepily, she gave him a small smile. "Thanks James."

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," he murmured gently.

It was difficult to concentrate on what he was saying when he was stroking her hair so tenderly. Shaking her head for clarity, she sighed, "You really don't have to-"

"Hush, Evans. Go to sleep."

His voice was like a spell that she couldn't resist. She was hardly cognizant as she cuddled into his side. Since it was hours past her bedtime, she was asleep within moments of closing her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

He was gone by the time she woke up in the morning. She had no idea when he went to his own bed because she had slept so deeply, but it was a relief not to contend with terror all night long. Yawning and stretching, she rolled out of bed and moved to the bathroom for her morning toilet.

James hadn't shown his face even after she was ready, so she tapped experimentally on his door. Receiving no answer, she tried the knob and found it opened easily. For some reason, the thought of going into his bedroom made her nervous. What kind of awful things were lurking in there?

Gritting her teeth and telling herself not to be silly, she pushed the door open and peaked inside. "James?"

The room was empty. And tidy. Oddly tidy. His bed was made and clothes were put away. Nothing was out of place. She stared in surprise at the shelves bursting with books. He had a working model of the solar system revolving in mid-air near the window and a lunascope on his desk beside a neat stack of papers. Complicated diagrams had been fastened carefully to the wall above the desk, arranged in some sort of pattern that she couldn't decipher. She didn't know exactly what she would have expected his room to look like, but it certainly wouldn't have been anything like this.

The clock in the common room struck eight and she jumped guiltily. Realizing that she would be late if she loitered any longer, she carefully shut the door and headed out to begin the day. Professor McGonagall was in the Great Hall with the student schedules ready to be handed out, but James was still nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning, Evans," the older woman gave her an approving smile. "I expect Mr. Potter is running behind."

Giving her an uneasy look, she shook her head. "I'm not sure, Professor, but I think it's safe to assume he's up to no good this morning."

"It's the first day of school, Evans. When has James Potter _ever _behaved himself?" Twitching her eyebrows dryly, McGonagall assumed an amused expression as she turned to go about her business.

Chuckling, Lily moved off to find her friends and breakfast while she waited for the prefects to arrive and pass out class schedules. Within twenty minutes, James and his mates entered looking decidedly windblown, presumably from an early morning quidditch match. At least that was what she hoped they had been up to.

"You gonna go tell him off for being late?" Alice asked as she followed Lily's gaze to the raucous group of boys.

"No," Lily sighed, pushing herself up, "I'm gonna go tell him off for slipping a doxy in Melvin Garvey's satchel."

"When did he do that?" Alice queried.

"About five seconds from now," she replied as she rushed over to stop him.

It was almost in slow motion as she watched James reaching out to tuck the stunned creature into the fourth year's bag. With his friends walking at his side, they artfully passed by, talking animatedly, when Sirius "accidentally" stuck his foot out. Dropping the doxy into the flap, James tripped comically, his arms wheeling to help regain his balance. He caught himself on the closest available thing: her breasts. Time seemed to stop as they stared at each other in surprise. After a heartbeat he looked down and squeezed experimentally.

"Holy Merlin, they're fake!" he shouted.

Laughter burst around them and suddenly it didn't matter that Lily was Head Girl. It didn't matter that she was sixteen-years-old in the middle of a Great Hall packed with students. It didn't matter that James stood at least six inches taller than her or that his athletic body was corded with muscle. None of that meant anything because they were suddenly eleven again and she was simply going to _kill_ James Potter!

She only got in a few good hits before Remus physically dragged her off of him. Professor McGonagall was striding up looking as though she had swallowed a lemon. James lay on the ground. His glasses were snapped in half and his nose was bloody and out of joint. She balled her hands into fists at her sides as Professor McGonagall glared her down.

"I have _never_ seen such a spectacle! Evans! Potter! Go to my office _immediately_!" she snapped viciously.

"James is in a bad way, Professor," Sirius broke in with his normal cocky grin as he levered his friend to his feet. "I should probably get him to the infirmary."

Their professor raised a skeptical eyebrow at the boys, who were now the picture of innocence. "I believe your friend will survive, Black."

"Not with that bloody cow," Sirius mumbled under his breath.

"Come again, Black?" Lily spat furiously.

"I called you a bloody cow, Evans!" Sirius yelled with impunity. "You gone deaf too?"

"That's enough!" Professor McGonagall's strident voice cut through the broiling argument like a knife. "Evans, Potter, go to my office!"

In spite of the fact that they had been told off, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stuck close to James, all the while shooting vicious glares at Lily. Alice had been on hand to lend her support and she linked arms with the other girl, refusing to look their way.

"You should learn to take a joke, Evans," Peter broke the tense silence imperiously.

"Shut it, Pettigrew," Alice snapped.

"James didn't go bloody ballistic when you dropped his trousers in front of half the school last year," Sirius pointed out with a surly glare.

Keeping her eyes stolidly forward, Lily bit out: "That was _you_, Black."

"It's the same principle!" he cried without missing a beat.

"Not quite," Alice shot back angrily.

They arrived at Professor McGonagall's office before any of the boys could respond and the pair entered in livid silence. Without even consulting one another, they split into chairs on opposite sides of the room. Though Lily was intent on not giving him the satisfaction of seeing her cry, she was calming down enough to be horrified at what she had done.

"It was an _accident_, Evans," James spoke into the painful silence.

"Whatever you want to call it, you were definitely over the line," she shot back, refusing to look at him since she was dangerously close to tears.

She heard him sigh and his chair scraped on the stones. Even as he walked across the room, her nerves caused her to stiffen defensively. After a moment, he rested his hands on the arms of her chair and leaned over her.

"They're actually very nice, Evans. You should be proud," he told her in a warm, affectionate tone.

She wanted to be angry with him. Instead, she felt her resistance weaken. A bubble of laughter burst in her throat, even as the tears she had been trying so hard to keep at bay started to fall. What came out was a slightly humorous sob and she dropped her head into her hands to hide from him.

He moved around the chair in a flash. Kneeling in front of her, he gripped her hands tenderly to pull them away from her face, giving her a pitiful smile. Her heart tugged as she smiled back.

"Oh James," she mumbled impatiently. Plucking his dangling glasses from his nose, she fixed them with a tap of her wand before setting to work on his face. "Why do you have to be such a loveable bastard?"

"It's a curse," he grimaced, swearing in pain when she snapped his nose back into place.

"You know I hate you, right?" she asked softly as she finished cleaning up the blood with a wave of her wand.

His grin was almost lethal as he reached up to rub her tears away. "No you don't."

"I do so," she hiccuped.

"Nope," he teased, raising himself slightly to press a kiss to her lips. Her face heated automatically and he grinned, leaning his forehead against hers. "Sorry, Evans. I'll fix this. You can count on me."

She bit her lip uncertainly, but there really wasn't anything James couldn't do. By the time Professor McGonagall entered her office, he was looking good as new with a plausible (if far-fetched) story about a prank involving Lily that had gone awry. If anything, Lily had to admire the way he could talk his way out of a corner. By the time they were ready to leave, Professor McGonagall was wearing a thin smile.

"I advise you to be more aware of your position from now on, Miss Evans," she admonished grudgingly. It was possible she knew it was a ruse and was taking pity on them. If so, she was a saint so far as Lily was concerned. She shot James a pointed glare. "You too, Potter. It'd be nice for you to show a little more consideration toward your counterpart in the future."

"It is a heavy responsibility, Professor," James nodded solemnly, putting a hand on Lily's back in order to usher her out. "Thank you for your understanding. It won't happen again."

"Somehow I doubt that," the older woman observed dryly. "I've been pulling the pair of you out of fights since you were first years."

Hugging Lily affectionately to his side, James gave her a charming grin. "I guess we're just two of a kind, Professor. Have a good day."

Professor McGonagall bade them good day and James hustled Lily off down the hall. He waited until they were out of sight before tilting his head to smile down at her. "Well done, Evans. I have to say, you have the best right hook of any girl I've ever met."

"Shut it, James," she grumbled tersely, keeping her eyes forward.

"That's a fine way to thank me," he mused, dropping his arm off her shoulders and striding out ahead as though his feelings were hurt.

Lily hesitated for a moment before calling: "Thank you!"

He stopped and turned with an infuriating smirk. "Go on."

Biting her lip, she stepped forward and prepared to grovel. After all, she didn't _have_ to hit him. That was her fault. He was just being James and she had overreacted. And he could have let her get in trouble, but he didn't. Though he was a prat, he deserved her thanks.

When she was in front of him, she took a deep breath. "James, thank you for taking up for me and getting me out of trouble. What can I ever do to repay you?"

Leaning close, he said, "Break up with McGray."

Lily blinked in surprise. "Why?"

"Because he's a coward and a prat and you can obviously do much better," he announced, straightening on a stretch and rubbing his hair lazily. "If he weren't a coward, he would have defended you when I insulted you right in front of him. If he weren't a prat, he wouldn't have let a little thing like me kissing you bother him enough to start a fight. Do yourself a favor, Evans: set your sights a bit higher."

Frowning, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Like who? You?"

Tilting his head to the side and eyeing her critically, he shrugged. "I think I'm a little out of your league, Evans."

"Why do you even care who I date, James?" she asked in exasperation.

"Let's call it friendly interest," he advised pleasantly.

Pressing her lips together thoughtfully, Lily finally admitted, "We broke up after you left."

Leaning in close to her face, he nodded eagerly. "I know. I got the Howler."

It took a moment for the full import of his words to sink in and she gritted her teeth against her anger. When she spoke, her voice was soft and dangerous. "If you knew, then why did you keep asking me about it and _why_ did you ask me to break up with him?"

"I wanted to see if you would lie to me," he said simply.

Shaking her head, she stepped impatiently around him. "You _sodding_ wanker."

"You really need to work on your gratitude, Evans," he called smugly. "I'm feeling _very_ under appreciated for saving you _again_."

"I'll owe you!" she shouted back, too angry to negotiate with him at the moment.

"I'll hold you to that," he promised, shaking his head with a grin as he headed off to class.

It was a small mercy to know that she wouldn't have to see him until her second class. Advanced Herbology was first and Alice came out to meet her with a worried look as she approached the greenhouses.

"Lily, are you okay?" she asked with keen distress as she caught the taller girl's arms in a bracing grip.

"I'm fine," she sighed, hugging her friend tightly so she wouldn't worry. "James sorted it."

Turning to walk with her, Alice laughed. "Well that's lucky. I guess he's not completely useless."

Lily didn't respond. She didn't have it in her to say anything nice about James Potter after the compounded underhanded tricks he had pulled this morning. Instead, she yanked on her dragonhide gloves and lifted her wand to disable her Fanged Geranium for pruning.

It took a moment for the bubbly blonde to notice her silence and she leaned forward to watch her curiously. "Only... you don't look relieved. You look angry. Did he do something?"

"Morning class," Professor Sprout called cheerfully as she entered the greenhouse. "Sorry I'm late. The Chinese Chomping Cabbage in greenhouse four is teething."

The girls smiled at her as she bustled to the front of the class and Alice lifted a spray bottle so that she could at least _appear_ to be working on her Screechsnaps as she shot Lily a curious look. "Well?"

In a low voice, Lily explained what had happened in detail. Recounting the morning's exploits didn't make her feel any better, however, and she had to pay special attention as snipped viciously at the plant's excess leaves.

"Are you joking?" Alice asked when she was finally finished.

It gratified Lily just a bit to have her response mirrored so closely. Sighing, she shook her head. "Nope. He really is _always_ one step ahead of me."

"Why did you let him break things up with Flynn anyway?" Alice asked carefully, keeping her eyes on the pleasantly squeaking buds.

"_I_ didn't let him do anything," she reminded her in a soft voice. "Flynn was the one who went all crazy. He even drudged up some conspiracy theory about the Marauders threatening boys away from me."

Pinning a long frond back into place with a little more care than necessary, Alice didn't look at her for a moment. She had expected her to immediately agree that such a thought was crazy, so she glanced at her suspiciously when she didn't. Her expression was guarded, but she waited patiently for her to speak up. "Well... it's not exactly mad, is it?"

Setting her sheers carefully on the work bench, she turned to give her friend her full attention. "What do you mean?"

Shrugging her shoulders uncomfortably, Alice admitted: "Frank told me about a boy that fancied you last year who was transfigured into a rat after he said he was going to ask you out. Nothing was ever proven, but James and his mates were definitely around when it happened."

Shaking her head, Lily tried not to laugh. "Oh, Alice, that couldn't be-"

"Then there was that unfortunate business with Barnaby Arvil at the Slytherin quidditch match last spring," she went on stubbornly.

"He fell off his broom," Lily pointed out dryly. "You can't believe that has anything to do with me."

"He fell off his broom _twenty-three_ times, Lily," Alice said significantly. "Twice when he was standing on the ground. And this was just after he flirted with you in Hogsmede."

"Alice-" Lily shook her head with heavy skepticism.

Counting off on her fingers, the smaller girl ignored her. "Sloan Tarvis gave you chocolates for Valentine's Day in the fourth year and permanently lost the ability to make right turns. Xavier Spins asked you on a date last Christmas and developed vanishing sickness. Once, Ewan Todd put an arm around you during Astronomy and ended up singing everything he wanted to say for a week!"

"This is-" Lily tried to deny her.

"Ridiculous? Orville Silverman told you that you smelled nice at breakfast _this morning_," Alice insisted.

"So?" Lily asked in confusion.

"I passed him on his way to the infirmary just before class, Lily. His nose is the size of a grapefruit and growing," she informed her heatedly. A swift look from Professor Sprout served to calm her a little bit and she continued in a low voice. "It's not that crazy to think the Marauders are up to _something_. Do you know anyone else who is _that_ well connected, _that_ well organized, and _that_ creative?"

Giving her a patient smile, Lily suggested: "Or it could all be just a big coincidence."

"Your grasping, Lily, and you know it," Alice said with a wry shake of her head.

Biting her lip, Lily picked up her shears and stared thoughtfully at her Fanged Geranium. She knew these things had happened and had always dismissed it as coincidence, but when you piled all of it up, it did seem suspicious. And Alice was right: if anyone was capable of a mass-pranking conspiracy, it was unequivocally the Marauders. But she had asked James point-blank and he had denied it. Then again, what would she expect of him? But why would he do something like that in the first place? She asked Alice and the smaller girl shrugged.

"Who knows?" she said softly. "Maybe one of his mates fancies you. Maybe they think they're protecting you in some kind of weird way."

Lily had to think about that. The second suggestion made more sense than the first. If James really did see her as some sort of sister figure, it would be natural to want to protect her. And it would make sense that _no one_ would be good enough for her.

She was still mulling it over when class ended and she headed to Transfiguration with her head full of possibilities. She had to work to keep her mind on McGonagall's lecture. It wasn't her best subject. While she had a natural ability in charms and could generally think her way through all the other classes, Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts relied more on instinct. This week's tricky assignment was to transfigure a desk into a bush.

She was gnawing at her bottom lip as she tried unsuccessfully for the fourth time to do the classwork when James suddenly appeared at her side. Her concentration was so intense that she didn't notice him until he leaned over her shoulder and reached around to catch her wand hand.

"You need to grip it more firmly, Evans. This isn't Charms. Show it you mean business," he advised in a quiet voice.

Her cheeks flushed vibrantly, but she didn't turn as she adjusted her wand. When she spoke, her voice was almost too soft to hear. "Thank you."

"Are you still angry with me?" he asked suddenly.

Her head almost came unhinged as she turned to stare at him and he gave her a gentle smile. Mouth dry and mind blank, she shook her head. "No."

"Good." Releasing her, he took a step back. "Why don't you try it now?"

Biting her lip, she raised her wand, but Professor McGonagall passed by with a sharp look. "Is Potter bothering you, Evans?"

"No, Professor," she replied with a smile.

The older woman raised a skeptical eyebrow before turning her piercing gaze to James's innocent face. After a moment, she nodded grudgingly. "It's not like you to _help_ other students, Potter. Well done."

"I was thinking of starting up a tutoring session," he confided cheerfully.

Professor McGonagall nearly laughed outright. "A noble sentiment."

Lily shook her head and gave the older woman a wry look. "I've always said he should use his powers for good rather than evil."

McGonagall actually chuckled as she moved past them, but James didn't return to his seat. With his arms crossed over his chest, he watched her expectantly. It didn't take long for her to realize that he wouldn't go away until she performed the exercise, so she frowned in concentration and raised her wand. It took a few tries, but it was much better than waving her wand around impotently for another hour.

"Shouldn't you be doing your own classwork?" Lily muttered wryly when her bush still had a square base instead of roots.

"Meh." James shrugged, flicking his wand casually at her bush and turning it into a desk, then reverting to a perfect rose bush, and back in quick succession. "I think I can manage. You, on the other hand, need practice."

Without looking at him, Lily shrugged her shoulders. "I know."

She nearly jumped when he stepped close enough to gingerly run his knuckles down her back. Gently tapping her spine, he murmured, "You're doing well, Evans. Concentrate on the smell. It helps to focus on the minor details."

"Thanks," she whispered dryly.

"I can't believe you got to be Head Girl when you don't even have a basic understanding of Transfiguration," he said scornfully.

Her eyes flickered for a brief moment before she nodded. "Right. And I would have thought Head Boy would be someone who could do a Cheering Charm without sending his mate into rabid hysterics."

"That was _one_ time," he defended sarcastically.

Her eyes narrowed skeptically as she stared at him. "Try _three_. And the only reason it hasn't happened again is because no one else is daft enough to let you use them as guinea pigs."

Without warning, he grinned and put his hand on her head. "It's nice to have you back, Evans."

She swatted him away as he rumpled her hair vigorously, but she knew he was right. Feeling awkward and suspicious, she had been weird at the beginning of class. She'd hardly looked at him. But with a little helpful advice and casual bullying, everything was now back to normal. Did that mean that he cared for her?


	5. Chapter 5

Alice was eating dinner with Frank when Lily came and dropped a heavy scroll onto the table in front of her. The pair looked at her in surprise as she sat across from them, looking worn, but satisfied.

Reaching out to touch it, Alice asked, "What's this?"

"A compilation," Lily said brusquely, serving herself an enormous portion of shepherd's pie. "It's all the stuff that I can remember happening going back three years. I'm pretty sure that's when it started."

"When what started?" Frank asked, mystified as he ran his fingers down the long, neat list of names and pranks.

"The Marauders have been targeting boys that fancy her," Alice confided with a smile.

Frank stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Oh. Sounds like them."

Digging in to her food, Lily sent a surreptitious glance around the room before leaning forward. "I still haven't quite figured out what exactly they're up to, but this cinches it. I have nearly fifty names on that paper, and that's just the ones I know about-"

"And remember," Alice said, giggling softly over Marcus Howe being forced to talk like a pirate for three weeks after taking up a dare to kiss Lily on the cheek.

"Exactly," Lily nodded resolutely. "I hadn't thought anything of it since they were all different and spaced out, but when you get them all together, there's no doubt about it. We need to get to the bottom of this."

"Have you asked them?" Frank suggested sensibly.

Lily smiled and shook her head. "Yes, but they lie about _everything_. James told me I was delusional."

"So... experiments, then?" Alice proposed. "You can flirt with different guys. See what happens."

"What will that prove?" Frank asked thoughtfully. "We basically have the what. Aren't we looking for the why?"

Glancing around and lowering her voice even further, Alice replied, "We have a hypothesis that one of the Marauders might fancy Lily."

Frank frowned and shook his head. "This really isn't their style, though. If one of them fancied her, wouldn't he just go after her?"

"Maybe it's Remus," Lily suggested. "He's shy around girls. And Peter too. Maybe his mates are just helping him work up the nerve while keeping me alone in the dark."

That sort of thing made sense, but Frank was still skeptical. "For three years?"

Of course this stumped them. It did seem excessive. But what other answer did they have? What else made sense other than thoughtless cruelty or a mad attempt to save her from her not-so-bad character judgments?

"What we need, yeah," Alice announced conspiratorially, "is the biggest perve in school."

"That would be Sirius," Frank deduced with a grin.

Rolling her eyes, Alice elbowed him. "The _second_ biggest, then. We'll set up an experiment where you drop something in front of him, and bend over to pick it up, right? After he makes a move, we can see what happens to him."

"Sounds a bit dodgy," Frank mused thoughtfully. "You'll need my help."

"What?" Alice asked in surprise.

"Why?" Lily frowned, peering at him closely.

They had every right to be shocked. Rebelling against the Marauder's unquestioned rule was dangerous at the best of times. They hadn't even considered involving him in such treachery.

Laughing, Frank reached up to run a hand over his hair. "Well I'm not exactly useless. You'll need a man around for advice. Not to mention the fact that I can go places neither of you have access to."

"I'm Head Girl, Frank," Lily reminded him skeptically. "I can pretty much go anywhere."

"Yes, but do you _want_ to go places like the boy's toilet or the Marauder's dormitory?" he asked pointedly. The girls glanced at each other and blushed, making him grin. "Thought so. Count me in. Now, so far as I reckon outside of Sirius, I'd say Gawain O'Hara is your best target. You'll want to do some control tests as well. And work _fast._ The Marauders are smart, so it won't take them long to catch on. Once they do, all hell could break loose."

They decided to wait for class time to try it out. At night it was too easy for them to sneak about and O'Hara was a Slytherin, so none of them had any business in his common room or dormitory. Instead, they decided on a control test.

Lily had been casual friends with Dante Dalgetty since third year. They had bonded in Professor Flitwick's choir and were often in the same study groups. Walking into the Library with Alice, Lily waved at him with a smile and moved over to chat about Charms. Frank, who had entered a few minutes before, was stationed nearby to keep watch on Remus and Peter, who were laboring over a Potions essay.

Nothing happened. The boys didn't even seem to notice she was in the room, let alone giggling engagingly at one of their classmate's jokes.

"So... Lily," Dante began in his thick Scottish accent, "this may be a daft question, but I was wondering if you were seeing anyone right now."

Lily flushed in surprise and glanced at Alice out of the corner of her eye. "Um, no, actually."

"Are you busy Sunday night?" he asked nervously.

A loud shriek cut off any answer, and she whipped around to catch sight of a frightened third year Gryffindor standing precariously on top of the study table pointing frantically at one of the back shelves. "A rat! A rat! I saw a rat!"

Peter stepped into view, holding a heavy black volume in his hands. He glanced around quizzically before giving her an affronted look. "Aw, come now, Kines. I'm not _that_ bad to look at."

His quip was enough to start half the room laughing, but Madam Pince was on hand to glare them back into silence. When Lily looked back, Dante was sharing a grin with his friends. Touching his shoulder, she gave him a kind smile. "Actually, I'm busy Sunday. Rain check, yeah?"

He frowned curiously. "What does that mean?"

Catching Alice's arm, she began to back away. "It means some other time. See you."

She knew he was watching her leave, but Frank would be on hand if anything happened. Gripping Alice's hand tightly, she walked sedately out of the library. They didn't speak until they had nearly reached her apartments. Glancing at her, Alice asked, "Do you think it'll work?"

"I just hope they don't do anything horrible to him," Lily said quietly. Checking her watch, she sighed. "Listen, Alice, I've gotta do rounds and I still have a pile of homework."

"Right," Alice nodded. "I'll go meet up with Frank. We'll talk conspiracy theories in the morning."

Lily smiled and kissed her cheek. "Alice Benton you are a star. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

The smaller girl agreed and skipped off with a light heart, but Lily couldn't bring herself to feel so buoyant. After all, she was like a walking time bomb. It felt horrible to know that awful things had happened to so many people just because they'd liked her.

Their common room was empty when she entered, but that wasn't unexpected. Being Quidditch Captain meant that James could have practices whenever he liked, and there were few things he liked so much as playing Quidditch. Some people wondered if he hadn't been born on a broomstick with the way he flew. Even Lily with her utter lack of flying ability was often impressed by him. Dropping her bag in her room, she collected a book and a jacket and headed out to patrol.

Megan Givens was waiting for her in the Entrance Hall at the bottom of the stairs, but she hardly acknowledged Lily's friendly smile as she set off across the wide open space toward the dungeons. Sensing the reason for the younger girl's irritation, Lily kept her mouth closed as she trailed calmly after her. They only made it halfway through the dungeons before Lily received a sharp look.

"So, don't mind my asking, but what exactly is your relationship with James?" Megan asked bluntly.

Lily smiled as she poked her head into one of the empty classrooms. "Other than a personal ambition to make my life miserable, we just work together. You really don't have anything to worry about so far as competition."

"Oh," Megan sighed, laughing in relief. "Good. I figured it was a joke anyway."

"What?" Lily asked curiously.

"He fed me this line that he couldn't go out with me because he was going to ask you to marry him," the younger girl giggled. "But that's just barmy, isn't it?"

"It's the first I've heard of it," Lily replied casually, trying not to draw attention to her light blush.

"Imagine James Potter settling down with someone like you," she laughed.

Lily winced good-naturedly. "You can stop now."

Covering her mouth in surprise, Megan gave he an apologetic look. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that... you're so... boring."

"Oi!" Lily said with an incredulous grin.

Not noticing her offense, the girl's gaze grew dreamy. "And James is so..."

"Handsome? Clever? Funny? Charming? Talented? Rich?" Lily suggested blandly. "I know."

"Yeah, but he's so much more than people think he is," Megan argued in a breathy voice.

A soft noise behind them in the hall caught her attention and she spun suspiciously, gesturing for Megan to be quiet. She searched the gloom vainly. There was no one there. Flicking her eyes toward the younger girl, she asked, "Are you sure you checked those rooms?"

"Of course," Megan said arrogantly.

Frowning, Lily reached up to twist a curl of hair around her finger. She had been almost certain someone was walking behind her for a second, but she couldn't see anyone. And all of the doors were closed, so it wasn't as though someone could have simply slipped inside. The dungeon doors were heavy and creaked loudly whenever they moved. There was nowhere anyone could hide.

"Are you always this paranoid during patrols?" Megan giggled nervously.

Rolling her eyes, Lily gave her a calm smile. "It's a side effect of close contact with the Marauders."

"You're exaggerating," Megan told her impatiently.

Arching an eyebrow at her, Lily shook her head. "Nearly half of my third year was spent in the infirmary because James and his mates decided I was a bossy red cow and should therefore look and sound like one at every opportunity."

"They wouldn't do tha-"

"I sprouted horns," Lily interrupted bluntly. "Twelve times. And a tail. And I spent an entire week mooing when I tried to talk."

In spite of herself, Megan let out a sharp giggle. Covering her mouth, she gave the older girl a wide-eyed, apologetic look, but Lily just shook her head and laughed. "It's funny now, but I'll never go near a dairy farm for as long as I live. I still have nightmares about it sometimes."

She shivered dramatically, causing the girl to laugh harder. They emerged from the dungeons and mounted the stairs for the rest of the sweep feeling much more comfortable. Touching her arm, Megan gave her a warm smile. "I think I get it now. I just don't understand how you're able to stay in the same school without killing him."

"It's a constant struggle," Lily quipped wryly. "As I'm certain you saw this morning."

Megan tittered again accompanied by a muffled chuckle that Lily was certain she heard. Spinning, she lit her wand tip and held it aloft. "Who's there?"

"Ugh, again?" Megan asked irritably. Turning around, she paced back up the hallway and held out her arms. "There is no one here but us, Evans. Don't be a paranoid schizophrenic."

"I'm not," Lily said defensively. "I _know_ I heard someone laugh."

"That was _me_," Megan pointed out impatiently.

"I heard someone else," she insisted, keeping her eyes wide for some sign of movement. Megan opened her mouth to deny it, but she hushed her sternly and they stood in tense silence.

"All right there, Evans?" James suddenly spoke up behind her, making her jump and nearly scream in surprise.

Spinning around with her hand clutching her chest, she couldn't help but laugh. For a moment there, she had begun to suspect that he had gone somehow invisible and was following her to make her think she was going mad. Instead he was standing with Maisy Owens looking distinctly amused. Conspiracy theories were obviously rotting her brains.

Grinning, James reached out to touch her arm. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a gorgon."

"I'm fine," she said breathlessly.

"Hi James," Megan piped up eagerly.

He blinked at her for a moment before grinning. "Hey you. How are patrols going?"

"A bit boring," she confided with a pretty pout. "Maybe it would be better if we switched partners?"

"Great idea," he agreed eagerly. Turning to the pint sized Ravenclaw with magnified green eyes behind thick glasses, he put a hand on her shoulder to ease her forward. "Owens, why don't you team up with Givens for the rest of the shift? She'll take good care of you."

Before any of the girls could respond, he caught Lily's arm and dragged her off with a buoyant smile and wave. She was practically forced to jog to keep up with him as he hauled on her arm. "James, what are you-?"

"Sorry, Evans. Owens is a bit of a chatterbox and you know how I hate being badgered," he said quickly, using his free hand to scratch irritably behind his ear. "A whole hour of hearing about Miss Eliza kitty-cat is a little too much for even me, if you know what I mean. By the way, I need to pop to the loo. Do you mind?"

It was all said so quickly that it almost made her head spin and she looked at him closely. "What's wrong, James? You seem nervous. Did you do something terrible again?"

"Nope, I just really need to take a shit," he assured her with a grimace of pain. They reached the bathroom at a run and he bent nearly double, holding his stomach as he threw open the door.

"James, are you okay? Do you need help?" she called in concern, holding the door open and peering anxiously inside. Something soft and insubstantial whisked by her and she started, looking around uncertainly.

Groaning in pain, he shouted, "I'm fine! Don't come in here! Won't be a mo!"

Lily hesitated a second longer. Though he was hidden just around the corner, she could hear a light scuffling. Biting her lip, she said, "Okay. Just... call if you need help, yeah? I'll be right out here."

A loud flush met her ears, followed by running water. In a moment, James came sauntering around the corner adjusting his glasses with a face-splitting grin. "All right, Evans? Godric, you're such a nag. Can't a man use the toilet in peace?"

Catching his arm, she pulled him to a stop. Her eyes searched his face with concern. "Are you sure you're okay? You looked like you were really in pain."

"Evans, I'm _fine_," he assured her with a smile. "And I'm touched that you care so much. Are _you_ feeling alright? You look a bit peaky."

"I-" She looked past him as the bathroom door popped open for no apparent reason. "What was that?"

Side-stepping to block her view, he grinned innocently. "What was what?"

"The door-" she said in confusion, trying to move around him.

"It was Peeves," he said a little too loudly. "He was filling all the soap dishes with glue while I was in there. Little devil. Guess he's finished."

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, she frowned at him. "You're acting weird."

Reaching up to rumple his hair, he sighed, "Yeah, well, it's probably because I have to spend my night with a fat, naggy cow."

Stunned, she dropped his arm and stepped back abruptly. She couldn't pretend he hadn't hurt her feelings, but she knew he didn't mean it. Instead of saying anything, she turned and walked away. After a moment, she heard him sigh and jog after her. "Evans, wait."

"It's fine, James," she said softly, keeping her head down so that he wouldn't see her tears.

He drew up beside her easily. "Evans-"

"You're sorry. I know," she filled in quietly.

"Lily _stop!_" he cried, catching her arm insistently. She paused, but couldn't look at him as tears leaked silently down her cheeks. Moving in front of her, James smoothed his hands gently down her arms to take her hands. Leaning close, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I _am_ sorry."

Breathing deeply through her nose, she nodded. "You're always sorry, James. I'll get over it."

Without warning, he put his arms around her and hugged her close. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he rocked her gently side to side. "Do you want to hit me?"

She nearly choked as she shook her head. "No."

"Come on," he coaxed. "It'll make you feel better."

"James-" she giggled reluctantly.

"You know you want to," he urged playfully. "Go ahead, Evans. Slap my face, tell me you hate me, and call me a wanker. Then we can put this whole messy business behind us and we can move on to how you're going to pay me back for saving your skin earlier."

Pulling back, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Isn't putting up with you payment enough?"

"Ouch," he winced, putting a hand to his chest. "Right where it hurts. I know I'm impossible, Evans, but play along. You'll like it. I swear."

Rolling her eyes, she pushed herself away from him and moved off down the hall. "Alright, James. What do you want? Is it something dangerous? Something illegal? Want me to show you my breasts?"

"Forget my ideas. Yours are much better," he laughed, hurrying up behind her and hooking an arm around her waist.

Laughing, she stopped and faced him. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not!" he grinned, tugging playfully at the hem of her shirt.

She slapped his hands away and took a step back, giving him the sternest look she could muster. "James, _really_. Can you not be earnest for just one minute?"

Rumpling his hair thoughtfully, he shrugged. "I don't know... you didn't seem to think much of my Uncle Earnest."

"I hate you," she sighed, turning away from him.

"Alright! Alright!" he exclaimed, dodging around her to cut off her escape. In a moment, his expression became sincere. Catching both of her hands in his, he smiled nervously. "Lily Anne Evans-"

Her eyes widened in surprise as he knelt in front of her. "Oh my god, what are you doing?"

Rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her knuckles, he met her eyes anxiously. "After all the years that we've known each other, I've come to realize something very important."

"James, stop," she begged, the gears in her mind jamming frantically as she tried to process what was happening.

"And I know right now that nothing would make me happier," he continued doggedly, "than you owing me a favor."

She stared at him in shock. "What?"

"One favor. Redeemable at the time of my choosing," he clarified in that same gentle tone.

"_What?_" she repeated, dumbfounded.

Grinning unrepentantly, he said, "One day I will come to you with a request and no matter how ludicrous or impossible it sounds, you will believe me and fulfill my wish to your utmost ability. No questions asked."

Shaking her head to clear the jumble of emotions and thoughts, she stammered, "W-why... exactly?"

His shoulders lifted in an easy shrug. "A favor can be a very valuable thing, Evans. You never know when you might need it."

She tried to pull her hands away from him, but he held on stubbornly. Clearly waiting for an answer. At length, she sighed and tried to muster up the same amount of brevity he was showing. "Yes. James Aldan Potter, I _will_ owe you a favor."

Her heart fluttered a little when he gave her a relieved smile. Leaning forward, he said, "Thanks, Evans."

"You're welcome," she replied in an equally soft voice. "Shall we continue?"

"Sure," he nodded, rising easily to his feet.

They finished patrolling without incident and returned to their rooms bickering pleasantly. Since Lily had so much homework, James offered to write up the reports. She frowned at him skeptically as she paused in her doorway. "You have work too, James."

Shrugging his shoulders carelessly, he reached up to rumple his hair. "I can manage."

Biting her lip indecisively, she searched his face for a moment. Satisfied, she gave him a grudging smile, then reached out and tugged gingerly on his sweater. "Thanks, James."

In answer he reached out and tweaked her nose. Then he winked cheerfully and turned in the direction of their study room. It was late before she heard him coming back down the hall for bed, but she was still finishing up her Transfiguration reading. She was exhausted by the time she crawled into her pajamas, but even that didn't keep the nightmares away.


	6. Chapter 6

Sunlight streamed into the Great Hall from a vivid blue sky spattered with puffy white clouds, but so far Lily was the only one up to enjoy it. She had been chased out of bed sometime around four am. If she had known she wouldn't sleep, she probably would have saved her homework for the morning. As it was, she was taking advantage of the time to get a head start on her reading.

A solitary step caught her attention and she looked up to find the Headmaster sauntering calmly into the room through the enormous double doors at the end of the Hall. Hands clasped behind his back and his brow furrowed in deep thought, he didn't seem to notice her until he had drawn up to her side.

"Good morning, Headmaster," she said softly, startling him out of his reverie.

His expression lightened the moment he saw her and he smiled kindly. "A very good morning to you, Miss Evans. I hope you're rising early out of preference rather than necessity."

Catching his meaning, Lily only shook her head. "Don't worry, Headmaster, James is behaving himself. I just had a little trouble sleeping."

Dumbledore nodded sympathetically. "Such a problem is all too common in these dark times. I fear this sleeplessness may be an epidemic."

Suddenly, Lily realized how childish she had sounded. Here she was a student at school with no more pressing concerns than homework and boys, complaining to the most well-respected wizard of the century. He was a figurehead of justice in the fight against You-Know-Who. Surely he had better things to think about than her nightmares.

Shaking herself impatiently, she gave him an encouraging smile. "I wanted to thank you again for helping me during the holidays, Headmaster."

"Think nothing of it," he replied easily, patting her shoulder in a grandfatherly fashion. "When it comes to the safety and well-being of my students, I assure you there is nothing more important in this world."

A warm bubble swelled in her chest as the first sleepy-eyed students entered the Great Hall. She thanked him again shyly and wished him a good day. He nodded in turn and began to move off, then paused. "In my experience, Miss Evans, pleasant dreams come easier when one enjoys something sweet before bed. I believe the Head Boy knows the way to the kitchens well enough. You might ask him if he could help you find a solution."

Lily knew very well that his mind was running more along the lines of biscuits or cake than anything else, but she couldn't help blushing as she nodded. She could only wonder what he guessed as he smiled enigmatically and moved off. There was only a short time for her to muse, however, as she was swiftly joined by Alice and Frank.

"Well? Any developments?" she asked eagerly.

Shaking his head, Frank shrugged as he loaded a bowl with porridge. "Not that I've seen. The lads didn't even notice you talking to him."

"It _can't_ be just a coincidence," Alice insisted, patting his arm and giving him her patented "you did your best" smile.

"The air's a bit chummy around here, isn't it?" Annabelle Arden asked with a mocking sneer as she swaggered up amidst a gaggle of her friends. Tall, blonde, and perfect except for the sour expression on her face, she glared at the trio imperiously. "Having _fun_, Frank?"

"Why, Arden, are you allergic?" Alice shot back defensively.

The two girls couldn't be more different as they glared one another down. Whereas Annabelle was immaculate from her perfectly curled hair to her artful makeup, Alice's white-blonde hair hung in short braids and her skin was bare and fresh.

Snapping her fingers impatiently, Annabelle turned on her heel. "Come _along_, Frank."

"He's not a dog, Arden," Lily spoke up reluctantly, causing the affronted girl to pause. She liked Frank, but for the life of her she couldn't understand why he stayed with someone who treated him so poorly. Alice said she would understand if she met his mother.

"Actually, we're working on something right now," Frank told her with a smile. "I'll meet up with you later."

Not used to being put off, Annabelle scowled ferociously while the other girls tried not to giggle. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she stuck her hands on her skinny hips. "We need to have a talk."

Smiling, Frank reached up to touch her cheek. "We'll talk later, yeah? After you've calmed down a bit."

Furious, she spun like a top and stormed off, her friends scuttling in her petulant wake. Alice gave her friend an astonished smile. "Well done, Frank. Finally found your bollocks, have you?"

"I think he just took them back from Annabelle," Lily teased, making the bigger boy blush.

"Incoming," Frank said suddenly, his eyes riveted on the end of the hall where Dante and his friends were striding in.

After craning her neck to get a good look, Alice slumped down on her stool with a frustrated growl. "He looks fine."

Tilting her head to the side, Lily was forced to agree. "Only, he's got the hiccups."

Frank's head came up in surprise and he stared hard at the dark-haired boy. "He had them last night as well."

"He looks tired," Alice observed, feeling suddenly hopeful. She glanced around at her friends. "You don't think they'd-"

"They've done far worse," Lily mused thoughtfully. "There's O'Hara. Wish me luck."

Catching her hand, Alice pulled her up short. "Are you sure you want to do that here? I mean, after yesterday-"

"It's fine," Lily assured her with a smile. "The sooner we get to the bottom of this, yeah? Frank and I have potions with him first thing, so we'll know if something happens."

"Besides," Frank added quickly, "with all these people around, we know he won't do anything too outrageous."

Reluctantly, Alice released her and Lily hurried toward the Slytherin table with her nose buried in a book. Taking a page out of James's book, she managed to trip on a stray satchel and dropped to her knees just as she passed the gangly boy. Her skirt flew up and without hesitation, he cackled, "Nice legs Evans! How'd you fancy going halves on a bastard?"

It wasn't too far a stretch to feign deep mortification as she scrambled to pull her skirt down. Her face glowed a dull red as she collected her book and rose briskly to her feet to the sound of Professor Slughorn taking fifteen points from his own house for harassing the Head Girl. Lily gave him a weak, appreciative smile as she hurried off to the bathroom, Alice right on her heels.

"I _knew _that was a bad idea," Alice grumbled as the door slammed shut behind them and Lily rushed to the sink to splash cold water on her face.

"It was _your_ idea," Lily spluttered.

"Yes, but I didn't want half the school to see you getting sexually harassed," Alice insisted, "_again_!"

Daubing her face with her handkerchief, Lily met her eyes in the mirror and smiled. "The worst is over, Alice. Now we just have to wait."

It wasn't long. O'Hara was late for Potions, but James and his friends were right on time. When the boy entered looking distinctly vague and stripped down to just his tie, socks, shoes, and underpants, the class burst into outraged laughter. The Marauders blended easily with their classmates by laughing just as heartily as anyone else.

"What? _What?_" he asked stupidly, looking around without comprehending.

Thirty more points were deducted from Slytherin and O'Hara, still completely befuddled, was sent to his dormitory to find some clothes. Glancing meaningfully at Frank, Lily shifted off her seat and turned toward the supply cupboard. She slowed when she spotted Severus Snape loitering, painstakingly measuring out a beaker of mallowsweet.

He didn't look at her. He never looked at her anymore. She wondered if it wasn't because he hadn't forgiven himself for that day at the lake. They'd been friends once, but that was all over now. Crushed in a moment of humiliation and anger. More's the pity. Severus would have loved this sort of intrigue.

Drawing up a friendly smile, she approached casually. "Excuse me, Severus."

His dark eyes were cool and vacant as he finished his business and turned away. He looked through her as though she were nothing. Less than vapor. Remembering his smile made her heart hurt so that she took an inadvertent step after him.

"It's not worth it, Lily," Frank murmured, moving to block her path.

"If I could just talk to him-" she reasoned softly.

"He hasn't listened before," he reminded her gently. "He won't listen now."

Biting her lip, Lily nodded. He was right. She should know that by now. Taking a breath, she fought to bring her mind back to the present. "Did you see anything?"

"I saw Sirius go into the bathroom after O'Hara," he said softly. "I was going to follow, but Remus stopped me to talk. It's not definite, but it's something."

Bobbing her head in understanding, the two parted to return to their work stations. She could hardly concentrate on her Ignisidio Potion, however, as she pondered what they would do next. She couldn't in good conscience continue testing them. It made no sense to keep putting innocent boys in danger to prove what they already knew: the Marauders were up to no good. Why they would go to such lengths was still a mystery.

Consumed with her thoughts, Lily added her crushed dittany too late. The potion was too hot and it flared up without warning. Before she could even react, she was dragged off her stool from behind.

"Not to worry!" Professor Slughorn called as he used his wand to extinguish the flames and clear up the mess. He gave Lily a sympathetic smile before turning to grin at the class. "Learn from your mistakes, I always say. Now, who can tell me what Miss Evans did wrong?"

Slowly overcoming her shock, Lily carefully straightened and turned to smile up at her savior. Sirius gingerly released his arm from around her waist and grinned, scratching self-consciously behind his ear. "Alright, Evans?"

"Thanks Sirius," she said sincerely.

"My pleasure," he said with a pleasant grin. "It's not like you to be so careless. Boy troubles?"

Lily caught herself just before giving him a sharp look. Instead, she laughed. "Actually, I think it's more a matter of sleep deprivation."

"Funny... Prongs didn't mention it," he chuckled wryly, shooting his friend a sly grin.

Struck by a sudden inspiration, Lily went up on tiptoe and pressed a grateful kiss to Sirius's lips. When she leaned back, his expression was one of abject surprise. Then he brought a hand up to demurely cover his mouth and giggled girlishly. "Why Lily Evans, I never thought I'd see the day..."

Blushing self-consciously, she turned away and spotted James watching them with an icy expression. As class was dismissed, he collected his things and walked past her without a word. He didn't even look at Sirius as he made his way out the door with Peter scurrying hurriedly behind.

Putting a hand on his head, Remus gave Sirius a weary look. "This will be interesting."

Taking a chance, Lily asked, "Why?"

Giving her a lopsided grin, Sirius explained, "James can be a little territorial. He never learned sharing as a kid."

"Even if he's not playing with the toy, he doesn't want anyone else to have it," Remus continued helpfully. After a moment, he grinned. "Still, it beats doing homework."

"Absolutely," Sirius agreed with a reckless smirk.

"So I'm just a thing to him?" Lily asked as she lifted her bag and shot Professor Slughorn an apologetic smile.

The boys exchanged looks as they flanked her out of the room. It was an obvious pause that made her all the more curious, but Remus eventually admitted, "You're special. He likes you."

"He likes the fact that he can mess with you and you don't get cross like other girls," Sirius added easily. "It's a nice trait, Evans."

"Plus you're not always flirting with him and trying to get him to ask you out," Remus continued. "Overall, you're a good mate."

"Is that what happened to O'Hara?" She didn't really expect them to answer, but it didn't hurt to ask.

Tilting his head curiously to the side, Sirius said, "Wait, what happened to O'Hara?"

"That naked bit?" Remus guessed with a slightly affronted look. "We were already in class when that happened."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he did it himself for attention," Sirius added blandly.

Their perfect facsimile of innocence couldn't help making her smile. That thin shaft of illumination they had afforded her was likely all she would get at this point. Besides, pressing harder would give the game away, and she wasn't quite sure she should do that just yet. But, if it were true that James was just possessive, it could provide the simplest explanation.

She was still pondering when they entered Defense Against the Dark Arts so it took her a moment to notice that Professor Beetle was not in attendance. Instead, James stood at the front of the class with his hands planted firmly on the desk, regarding his peers with an aggressive grin.

"Alright, alright, file in," he ordered as the bell rang for class. "We'll start out this morning learning dueling techniques. Black?"

"Oh, he's so good," Sirius grinned as he moved to face his friend.

"Hang on," Lily called. "What do you think you're doing, James? Where's Beetle? He had better not be unconscious in a cupboard somewhere."

Keeping his eyes to the front, he announced, "Since Professor Beetle didn't feel equipped to teach Advanced Defense, the Headmaster asked me to fill in until a suitable replacement has been located. Which means for now, everyone will address me as Professor Potter and I would appreciate it if you would raise your hand before speaking out of turn." His eyes shot meaningfully to her face and she flushed.

What followed was not pretty, but he and Sirius seemed to enjoy it as they took turns trying to blast each other, and half the room, apart. With the class huddled in the corner behind Remus's shielding charm for safety, James called out pointers as he viciously attacked his friend.

"Protecting yourself isn't a simple formula. You need to be aware of your surroundings," he advised as he crouched behind the desk. "Think on your feet and use whatever is available to your advantage. It could mean the difference between life and death. Even if it's not magic-" Catching up a chair, he hooked it at Sirius's head before shooting a stunning spell at him that left scorch marks on the wall. "If it's a Death Eater, they won't muck about. Outside possession, torture and murder are their only goals."

Nervously, a girl with long black hair called Miranda Crew raised her hand and Remus gave her a friendly grin. "Yes Crew?"

"Isn't this a little dangerous? I mean, who's gonna clean up the classroom?" she asked nervously.

"I... uh, wouldn't question Professor Potter's methods if I were you," Peter filled in anxiously as a window shattered.

Shooting Remus a worried frown, Lily muttered, "Are you sure this is all right, Remus?"

The handsome boy only grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Believe it or not, this is the best way for the two of them to communicate."

"It's a thing of beauty, really," Peter added, jumping a little as a book struck the shield in the empty air in front of him.

The classroom was demolished by the time they were finished with what was arguably the most interesting object lesson in Hogwarts history, but James and Sirius were once again thick as thieves. After assigning an essay on what they had learned, James dismissed them early in order to clean up before Professor Beetle returned. Staying back from lunch, Lily and his friends helped him.

"Did you have to set _this _many fires, Prongs?" Peter complained as he replaced the seventh charred chair from a storage classroom down the hall.

"I thought we agreed not to question his methods," Remus reminded him with a smile as he levitated a heavy bookshelf back upright.

Shaking her head as she gathered up a whirlwind of singed papers, Lily mumbled: "All this over one little kiss."

"Pardon?" James asked from directly behind her.

Sucking nervously on her upper lip, she turned her head and gave him a dubious look. "You threw a tantrum over me kissing Sirius when he rescued me."

Casting an amused glance at his friends, he rapped his knuckles leniently against her forehead. "Whatever would give you such a mad idea, Evans?"

"Your mates practically said as much to me on the way to class," she informed him impatiently. He wasn't going to wriggle his way out of this one. Not when they had the proof right in front of them. "You said Flynn was a prat for getting worked up over you kissing me."

"He is," he said simply, giving her a look that clearly communicated that he didn't know what she was getting at.

"It's the same thing!" she supplied incredulously.

"You're leaving out the fact that I don't really care who you snog, Evans," he told her impassively.

Stung, Lily retreated a step and looked away. What was this all about, anyway? Her throat was almost too tight for her to breathe, so she nodded and glanced back to give the boys a gentle smile. James's expression was still inscrutable, but his friends looked slightly pained. When she spoke, her voice was soft and hesitant. "I um... I'm real hungry, so I'm gonna go to lunch. You guys can finish up without me, yeah?"

She didn't wait for an answer. It took almost all her strength just to walk calmly out of the room without bursting into tears. A low murmur of voices she didn't care to listen to followed her out, then a lonely set of footsteps echoed in the corridor behind her. Clenching her fingers around the strap of her satchel, she tried to hurry, but couldn't escape the unrelenting pursuit.

"Don't follow me, James," she said in a strained voice. Turning her head slightly, she could just see him ambling after her with his hands in his pockets.

"How am I supposed to apologize for being a prat if I don't follow you?" he shot back sensibly. When she didn't respond, she heard him quicken his pace. "If I leave you alone, all you're going to do is find a corner to cry in and talk yourself out of being cross."

"Why is that such a bad thing?" she croaked, tears now thick in her throat.

"It'd be better if you'd let me hold you," he pointed out softly as he caught hold of her sleeve.

She continued walking, even as he got closer and took hold of her arm. She resisted as he tugged her toward an empty classroom, but she was no match for him. When she tried to keep walking, he wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her bodily. "James don't! _Don't!_ I said no!"

Kicking the door closed behind them, he dropped her to her feet, spun her around to face him, and kissed her. She could feel the tension in his body. This kiss wasn't playful or passionate. It almost felt desperate.

Pressing her hands to his chest, she tried to turn away. He had hurt her feelings. She wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet. She didn't want him to kiss her. It would only serve to change her mind.

He didn't let her go. Dragging her closer with one arm, he caught her by the back of the head and held her still. His lips were hard and insistent. There was a sharp stab of pain as he bit her before plunging his tongue inside her mouth. He wasn't exploring. He was taking possession.

Then all at once, he was James again. Gentle. Friendly. Concerned. Oblivious to the tears leaking from her eyes, he ran his hands almost reverently over her hair and cheeks. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

"Why?" she gasped, her eyes filled with confusion. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm an idiot," he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes.

"Why do you always say such terrible things?" she whimpered.

He seemed about to respond, then sighed and shook his head. The wall between them was almost palpable as he gingerly bonked his head against hers. "I don't mean to."

Her tears were slowing as she put her hands on his wrists and gave him a watery smile. Shaking her head at him, she let out a soft bubble of laughter. "You're impossible."

"I know," he agreed easily. "Feel free to slap me anytime."

Taking a step away from him, she wiped ineffectually at her face until he offered her his handkerchief. He laughed when she produced a soft honk while blowing her nose and she couldn't help but giggle as well. Once she was passably dry, she gave him a firm look. "Tell me something true, James."

Anxiety lit behind his eyes, but he smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. Shrugging easily, he asked, "Like what?"

"You hurt my feelings and then said you didn't mean it," she pointed out softly. "Tell me what you _meant_ to say."

He was already shaking his head, his hand moving habitually to his hair. She suddenly wondered if that were more a nervous habit than anything else as he rubbed his head agitatedly. At length, he sighed and leaned forward so that they were nose to nose. "I don't want you to kiss Sirius."

"There, now. Was that so painful?" she asked with a smile.

"Excruciating," he replied wearily, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses. After a moment, he chanced a peak at her. "Don't ask me why."

"I wasn't going to," she grinned.

"Good." He reached up to chuck his knuckles under her chin and smiled. "Good. So we're okay, yeah?"

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang, and she nodded as he swore. In one smooth motion, she caught his tie and jerked his head back around. Reeling him in by the thin strip of silk, she gave him an affectionate look. "You should learn to be a little more honest, James. It clears up misunderstandings much faster."

"I'll remember that," he murmured as he kissed her again. After a moment, he smiled. "Only, would you mind letting go now? We've got to get to class."

"How responsible of you," she sighed, releasing her grip and moving past him toward the door.

"What does that mean?" he asked suddenly, watching her sharp interest.

She smiled coyly over her shoulder as she paused in the doorway. "You're clever. Figure it out for yourself, Potter."

Feeling like a flirtatious minx, she rushed out the door and down the hall. What had ever possessed her to say something like that? He was going to think... What? That she fancied him? Did she? She swiftly realized she could do well to follow her own advice, but that train of thought only caused her to blush harder.

She didn't have long to get herself together. Charms was right after lunch and, as always, she had it with James. The only saving grace was that Alice was also in attendance. Sitting side by side, Alice kept shooting her curious glances as Professor Flitwick went through his lecture.

"Lily, what's wrong with you? You look like your head's about to explode," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

"Later," she mumbled, glancing toward the other end of the classroom where James and his friends were passing notes at a furious pace.

Frustrated, Alice grabbed her wand in her left hand and dropped it to her lap below the table. Lily couldn't guess what she was about until she felt a sharp tingle of magic. Blood burst instantaneously from her nose, gushing over her painstaking notes before she could cover it.

"Oh no!" Alice cried, surging to her feet and putting an arm around her friend's shoulders. "Don't worry, Professor, I'll see her to the infirmary."

She rushed the taller girl out of the room before anyone could react and kept pushing until they reached the bathroom. A wave of her wand stopped the flow and Lily glared at her irritably. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes!" Alice snapped as she cleared up the blood.

"You could have waited until after class," Lily argued, turning to the mirror to check her appearance.

"No, I need to know what's going on _now!_" the smaller girl insisted aggressively. "You won't tell me what happened, but Potter's been staring holes through you all period. Something seems fishy to me and I want to know what it is!"

"It's him!" Lily blurted awkwardly, turning to stare at her friend anxiously. "It's James. I'm... absolutely mad for him and... and I think he might fancy me too."

Narrowing her eyes, Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "Lily... _what?_"

"I know!" she exclaimed, pacing the floor with frantic energy. "I didn't want to. I kept telling myself that I'm _not_ going to be the girl who fancies the boy that bullies her. It's insane!"

"Yeah," Alice agreed obviously.

"But he..." she trailed off, not knowing how to explain.

Moving to block her furious pacing, Alice stepped in front of her and put her hands on her arms. Her smile was calm and understanding. "You said you think he fancies you. Why do you think so?"

Pressing her lips together against her tears, Lily's shoulders lifted helplessly. "He always finds excuses to be nice to me."

She could tell Alice was skeptical. It didn't make much sense to her either. What sane person would say horrible things to someone they cared for so that they could comfort them? Then again, maybe he did that because he was too embarrassed to say what he actually meant. After all, he didn't seem to _like_ what he was doing. He was always sorry for making her cry. He always went after her to fix things. But he was one of the most popular boys in school. Shouldn't he _know_ how to talk to girls?

"Alice," she said firmly, "I know what I need to do next."

Practically skipping to keep up with her as she turned to leave the bathroom, Alice searched her face anxiously. "What's that?"

"I'm gonna make James Potter admit he's in love with me," she announced boldly. She only made it a few steps down the hall when she fainted from loss of blood.

"Oops. Sorry," Alice apologized.


	7. Chapter 7

Her assault began immediately after being released from the infirmary. At least, that was the intent. It didn't take long for Lily to realize she was not the master of the art of seduction. In point of fact, it was a stretch to call her a novice at flirting. Anything over smiling and saying hello caused her to blush awkwardly. She was far too up front for that sort of thing. Alice was just as hopeless, but luckily they had time to plan after classes.

"What's this?" Frank asked curiously when he found them in the library surrounded by the school's limited selection of romance novels.

Flushed with embarrassment at reading this sort of material in public, Alice couldn't look at him as she said, "We're trying to figure out how to seduce Potter."

Lily ducked her head further behind a volume entitled _The Vampire's Girl Friday_ when the announcement was met by painful silence. After a moment, Frank cleared his throat. "You think that will work, do you?"

"Have you any better ideas?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she peaked over the edge of the book.

"Well, yeah," Frank replied easily, taking a seat across from them. With relief, the girls set the books aside and looked at him eagerly. "Have you thought about chatting him up a bit?"

"And saying what?" Lily asked with keen embarrassment.

"Ask him about Quidditch and pretend you care," Frank suggested thoughtfully. "Compliment his flying. Talk about the upcoming game. In fact, you should head out to the pitch now while they're practicing."

Giving him a skeptical look, she shook her head. "James knows I don't care a fig for Quidditch."

"That doesn't matter since _he_ does," Frank told her patiently. "He can teach you and it will help you bond."

"I think Lily bonded enough with him over broomsticks first year when he almost got her killed," Alice pointed out carefully. "She's not gone closer to one than the Quidditch stands since."

Biting her lip, Lily gave Alice a nervous look. "He does have a point, though. Will you come with-"

"Go alone," Frank interrupted. "I don't know why you birds insist on going everywhere in flocks." He ignored their smirks at the pun. "It's intimidating enough to talk to you lot alone."

"Right, since Potter's so intimidated by our little Lily that he pranks her on a regular basis," Alice mumbled sarcastically.

"You'll be on the same level there," Frank pointed out logically. "None of his mates are on the team and you'll be on your own as well."

Frowning skeptically as the girls moved to put the novels away, Alice whispered, "Except the entire team will be there. And probably some other pathetic admirers- no offense. Other than that, it's just you and him."

"Do you have to be so negative all the time, Al?" Frank teased, tugging playfully on one of her braids.

"Sod off," she giggled, her cheeks glowing charmingly.

Clenching her hands at her sides, Lily straightened her spine and tried to ignore the tumultuous tumbling of her stomach. "Will you two finish putting these away? Wish me luck, yeah?"

Of course they agreed and within minutes she was heading out across the school lawn toward the Quidditch pitch. As Alice had guessed, there was a handful of girls sitting in the stands to watch James play. Megan Givens was among them and Lily gave her a smile and wave as she took a seat farther down. Too late she realized that the brisk wind blowing high up in the stands was quite chilly and she thought longingly of her cloak back in her room.

"Alright, Evans?" Marlene McKinnon called out to her in a friendly voice as she hovered on her broom near the stands. She was a pleasant girl with curly brown hair that Lily had been friends with since first year. "Never thought I'd see you out on the pitch without being coerced. What's our dear captain done this time?"

Blushing self-consciously, Lily forced herself to smile at her and shrugged her shoulders. "Actually, I had a bit of free time and thought I'd get some fresh air."

Laughing, Marlene hefted her bat and smacked away an oncoming bludger with effortless ease. "You sure? You look a bit chilled. Want to nip down to the locker room and get my cloak?"

"Oi McKinnon!" James shouted commandingly. He was in full on captain mode until he spotted Lily. Then his eyes widened in surprise and he reached up to rumple his hair, clearly unsettled.

"Oh no, here we go..." Marlene muttered under her breath. "Nice one, Evans, we just got Pike and Carlan to stop showing off for that lot of useless ninnies over there."

"Aren't they all here for James?" Lily asked quietly as he aimed his broomstick in their direction, signaling to his teammates to take a break.

"Sure, but he never pays them any attention," Marlene shrugged. "You know James. The world could end and he wouldn't notice so long as he was playing Quidditch."

Easy as breathing, James drew up close enough to hop onto the railing and gave Marlene a charming smile. "Will you excuse us a moment, Mar? Head business."

"Oh, I bet it is," Marlene smirked, winking at Lily as she flew away.

Ignoring her, James turned to fix Lily with a worried frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she smiled, her neck itching with discomfort.

"Then why are you here?" he blurted in abject confusion.

Shrugging and crossing her arms over her chest, Lily scuffed her toe into the wooden landing. She could feel the stares of everyone on the pitch boring into them as they talked, all burning with curiosity about her business with the Quidditch captain. "I just wanted some air. Thought I'd come watch you play."

She glanced up to find him watching her skeptically. After a pregnant pause, he put his hand up to adjust his glasses as though she was just an illusion. "Why?"

"I... um..."

A strong breeze blew through the pitch and she shivered involuntarily. Frowning at her bare legs, James held out his wand and used a summoning charm to call his cloak from the locker room. Stepping close, he wrapped it snugly around her shoulders before rubbing his hands briskly over her arms. After a moment, he smiled affectionately and reached up to rap his knuckles gently against her forehead. "It's cold out here, you daft cow. Now tell me what you want."

She bit her lip before smiling shyly, twisting her fingers together under his cloak. "I just wanted to watch you practice."

In an instant, his ears turned bright red and he reached up to rumple his hair. "Oh yeah?"

"If you don't mind," she fidgeted. There was no way he was really buying this.

He tilted an eyebrow at her before rubbing his knuckles down her cheek and grinning. "Alright, Evans, I'll bite. You can stay as long as you like. Just be sure you don't fall off the stands."

Gathering her courage, she tilted her head at him. She'd come this far. There was no use not following through. He started to turn away and she caught his arm. "Hey James... maybe you could show me a few moves afterward? If you have time. I-I'd really like to learn to fly."

She held her breath as she waited for his answer. This was too suspicious. He knew how frightened she was of heights. He had been the one who had pulled her to safety after their very first prank backfired and she'd fallen off the Astronomy Tower. There was just no way...

"Sure, Evans," he said easily. A flash of something she didn't quite understand passed across his face, but he smiled and winked at her before heading back onto the pitch.

She was stunned for a moment that something like that had actually worked. Next, she realized what she had asked for and her knees felt suddenly weak. Feeling nauseated, she collapsed into her seat. She was given no time to adjust, however as Megan and a sixth year Ravenclaw named Tessie Romsey plopped down around her.

"Hey there, Lily," Megan greeted her with a plastic smile.

"Have a nice talk with James?" Tessie asked , nudging her suggestively.

"What about?" Megan pressed eagerly.

Lily flushed as both girls stared at her expectantly. "He's going to show me how to ride after practice."

"But James doesn't fly with anyone who's not on a team," Tessie pointed out unhappily.

"And you hate flying," Megan agreed. Her face turned suddenly stern and dangerous. "So what are you really doing here, Evans?"

She didn't have any time to answer as a bludger came pelting at them and they were forced to dive out of the way to avoid being hit. Dashing after it with her bat at the ready, Marlene gave them a cheerful grin and sent it sailing back onto the pitch. "Sorry ladies! Got away from me for a minute there."

Over her shoulder, Lily caught sight of James chuckling as he tossed the bat back to the other beater, Gideon Hookum. "It's not very safe to be out here while we're practicing," Marlene went on. "Unless you have some business with one of the players you should probably be going."

"You can't make us leave," Megan shot back irritably.

Piqued by the challenge, Marlene adjusted her grip on the bat and Lily stood abruptly, stepping between them and holding her hands out in a calming gesture. Smiling back and forth at the angry girls, she said, "Actually she's right. It's getting dark and you girls should probably go inside. They'll be finished soon anyway and I'm sure you all have homework..."

Stepping uncomfortably close, Megan glared into her face. "Trying to get James all to yourself, Evans? And you call yourself a Gryffindor. I knew you were just a backstabbing snake all along."

"Oi! That's the Head Girl you're talking to," Marlene defended her instantly.

Since Lily was a generally honest person, she couldn't deny that she wanted to be alone with the Quidditch captain. However, that wasn't the sort of thing she could blurt out in the present company. Not without unfortunate repercussions.

Smiling calmly, Lily shook her head at the younger girl. "You'll want to calm down, Givens, before you say something you may regret."

"Don't _tell_ me what to do!" Megan shouted hotly, shoving Lily back a step when she didn't retreat or seem intimidated by her anger.

"Oi!" Marlene cried, accompanied by the protests of several of her teammates.

"Megan," Tessie warned anxiously.

She vaguely heard James calling that the team was dismissed. He would be heading their way in just a moment and the younger girls would be nothing but grins and denials. She felt a bit sorry for them, really. They were so obsessed with James and so insecure about where they stood with him. It was a position she could definitely relate to, so she didn't get angry.

Holding up her hands to show she meant no harm, she said, "Now, now, Givens-"

The younger girl shoved her before she could say anything else and her breath caught as she bumped the rail, all too aware of the steep drop just behind her. "You think you're so _bloody_ special!"

Lily felt a thrill of fear as the girl moved to push her again. Before she could touch her, however, she was lifted off her feet by a strong arm around her waist and deposited safely out of reach on James's broomstick. Automatically looking down, her stomach wrenched at the drop and she immediately fisted her hands in the front of his robes. He only smiled down at her before giving the other girls a stern look.

"Well now, what's going on here, eh?" he asked mildly. "I hope you're not harassing the Head Girl, Megs. There's not too many of them about and I'd hate to be forced to find a replacement."

Instantly, the fire in the younger girl's eyes cooled and she pouted. There was a definite whine to her voice as she argued, "But you _promised_ to help me study after practice today and Evans spoiled _everything_! I don't know how I'll pass that wretched Transfiguration exam without your help."

"Actually, I had a previous engagement with Evans," James covered smoothly, "but Carlan is a whiz at Transfiguration. He can tutor you."

The gawky blonde boy was already coming up the stairs and Megan had little choice but to go with him at James's recommendation. Luckily the other girls got the hint and dispersed as well, leaving Lily clinging to the front of his uniform as he shuttled her safely to the ground. Once they had landed, he reached up to rub his hair while watching her thoughtfully.

"I'm glad you're not a regular at my practices, Evans," he teased gently. "You're far too distracting. What happened, anyway?"

Avoiding his gaze, she toyed with the edges of his cloak and forced a smile. "The girls were just feeling a little insecure."

"Pushing the Head Girl off the bleachers doesn't sound insecure to me," he argued quietly. "It sounds dangerous. You're shaking, Evans. Why are you defending them?"

Pressing her lips together, she looked up at him nervously. "They probably wouldn't have gotten so upset if you weren't stringing them along."

"Jealous?" he asked with a cocky grin.

Her first inclination was to deny it vehemently, but she was trying to be more honest so she shrugged, her cheeks heating in the dusky twilight. "Maybe. Can you still give me a lesson?"

Tilting his head at her, he shifted his broomstick over his shoulders and hooked his arms around it in an easy stretch. After a moment, he nodded. "Sure. Only, you hate flying."

"I'm trying to turn over a new leaf," she explained easily, moving nervously away from him. "Face my fears."

"You are so bad at lying, Evans, it's almost funny," he chuckled, trailing on her heels.

"I'm not lying," she denied weakly, careful to keep her back to him as she increased her pace.

He loped after her easily. "Oh, I see. So you really want to learn how to fly? Then why don't you stop so I can teach you?"

She came to such an abrupt halt that he bumped into her, but he still smiled when he stepped around her and held out his broom. His hands were gentle as he guided her astride and took his place behind her. "Are you scared, Evans?"

Her mouth was dry, so she only nodded. She could practically feel his smug smile as he adjusted her grip on the polished handle. "Don't be. You're in good hands."

"Well you do have a penchant for saving me," she joked half-heartedly.

"Too right," he murmured in her ear. She could feel the heat from his body through her back and his arms around her were strong and safe. "Never thought I'd get you on a broom again. You really are being my brave girl today."

Something about the way he said that warmed her through to her core and she leaned into him unconsciously. That warm fuzzy feeling was quickly lost, however, when he kicked off the ground and sent them soaring into the air. Before she could even think about screaming, they were high up above the pitch with a perfect view of the setting sun. Considering her mind-numbing terror, she was actually doing fairly well. She just kept telling herself not to look down.

Leaning his chin on her shoulder, James smiled. "This is the part that I love most. Up here with the wind in my face, I feel like I can do anything."

"Funny," she mused anxiously, "you act that way all the time."

"That's the trick to leadership, Evans," he explained cheerfully. "Even if you don't know the way, you fake it. People will follow you and it all turns out in the end. Wanna try something fun?"

She glanced at him nervously and tried to smile. "Will it make me scream?"

"Godric, I hope so," he said cheerfully, leaning forward and sending the broom shooting off toward the lake.

Biting her lip painfully, she clenched her hands and tried to ignore the way her eyes were watering in fright as they sped off. Her heart jumped into her throat as he went into a steep dive. Ignoring her obvious fear, James raced along the ground until they reached the shore, then dipped lower to skim the tips of their toes along the surface. She couldn't hold back a shriek of terror at the abrupt drag and he let out a mad cackle.

"I hate you, James Potter!" she shouted helplessly as he zig-zagged over the water.

"You need to learn to trust me!" he shot back, pulling up sharply when a kappa suddenly emerged from the depths.

She screamed when it caught her ankle, dragging her physically off the broom into the frigid water. The creature's claws bit into her flesh for only a moment, however, before a streak of red struck it in the side of the head, rendering it unconscious. Her lungs burned as she tried to get her bearings, then struck out for the murky orange light of the surface. James's cloak dragged around her neck and her ankle burned painfully, hindering her movements. Panic clawed at her throat as she started to sink and she paddled desperately through the icy water, her limbs already beginning to feel heavy and numb from the cold.

James appeared out of nowhere, a thick bubble obscuring the bottom half of his face. His arms were like steel as he caught her and pulled her close enough for a kiss, but he held back as she gasped inside his makeshift oxygen mask. Irritatingly, there was an amused glint in his eyes that made her seriously consider risking death to avoid his assistance, but she resisted that suicidal inclination as he kicked strongly toward the surface.

Her relief was palpable as they broke into the air and he quickly caught hold of his broomstick, which was hovering just above the surface. With effort he dragged her up after him and grinned. "Can't fly, can't fight, and can't swim. Are you rubbish at _everything_, Evans?"

She shivered miserably and glared at him as he set off for the shore. "Shut up, Potter. If the Universe weren't so intent on proving you wrong, it wouldn't be taking everything out on me!"

"Oh, so this is my fault?" he shot back incredulously.

"Of course it's your fault!" she shouted, stumbling away from him as they landed safely on solid ground. "Who's the arrogant prat who decided to skim the lake because he thought it'd be fun to scare me?"

"And who's the lying red cow who decided she wanted flying lessons to cover an ulterior motive?" he snapped angrily. "I'm not stupid, Lily! I knew you didn't want to learn to fly!"

"Then why did you agree to this in the first place?" she cried hysterically.

"Because you've never asked me for anything before!" he yelled. His face went red at the admission and he ran a hand nervously over his sopping hair. When he continued, his voice was much quieter and his eyes were fixed on the sand to her right. "You've never asked me for anything. Not so much as a "Please pass the salt." Then you show up out of the blue to watch me practice and ask me to teach you to fly? One of my favorite things in the world and suddenly you're interested in it. How am I supposed to say no to that?"

In spite of the fact that it was drenched, she hugged his cloak around herself like a shield and took a step toward him. When she spoke, her voice was soft and earnest. "If you wanted to help so much, why were you trying so hard to scare me?"

"I don't know, I thought you might tell me the truth," he shrugged. After a moment, he looked up and searched her face, his eyes anxious and a little frightened. "Are you all right?"

His tenderness unnerved her. Hot tears welled in her eyes as she nodded and tried to smile. "I'm fine. Just a little cold and I think that damn demon scratched me."

Raising an eyebrow, he shook his head at her. "You are such a miserable liar, Evans. Come here."

For once, she didn't resist, but walked obediently into his arms. He held her close for a moment before sneezing. Grinning sheepishly, he rubbed his nose and tilted his head toward the castle. "Come on, kid. Let's get you inside before you catch your death."

"Speak for yourself, old man," she chuckled.

She had only taken a step before a burning pain seared through her leg. Catching her sharp intake of breath, he frowned. Moving in front of her he bent his knees and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Get on. I'll carry you inside and have a look at that scratch."

"James, I can walk-" she began to protest, but closed her mouth tightly when he gave her a warning look.

"Don't make me throw you over my shoulder, Evans. I'll paddle you if I have to," he scolded sternly.

She couldn't help but notice that his lips were turning slightly blue and he was shivering in his wet clothes, so she didn't argue as she took the broom from his hand and gingerly mounted his back. She didn't even object when he cupped his hands on her bare thighs under her skirt and set off across the lawn at a brisk pace. For once, they shared a common goal and found things went much smoother without bickering.

Since the other students were at dinner in the Great Hall, they met no one else as they moved into their apartments. Without a single pause, James moved through the common room and into the bathroom, only setting her down inside the shower stall. He spun the taps carelessly as he shut the door behind them, crouching to examine her injured leg as hot water spurted over them, making her gasp in pain.

"_That_ is not a scratch," he mused, carefully pulling off her shoe and sock as she fumbled to regulate the temperature. "That is a claw. No wonder you couldn't walk."

Her stomach rolled as she glanced down at the glinting silver barb sticking out of her calf. Gritting her teeth and fighting to breathe normally, she lifted her face to the ceiling. "We should go to the infirmary."

"No need for that," he assured her, grasping her foot firmly and wrenching the spike free in one fluid motion. Her knees buckled and she cried out, clutching at the taps to keep herself upright.

"_Fuck!_" she moaned painfully as he pressed around the wound to be sure he hadn't left any slivers behind.

"Now, now," he murmured placatingly, drawing out his wand to heal the puncture as her blood oozed over his hand to mix with the water and wash down the drain. "It'll be over in a minute. Don't be such a baby."

"I think I'm doing rather well considering the circumstances," she panted.

Spots burst before her eyes as a searing heat like a cauterizing iron burned through her leg and she fought against another scream. Her entire body was shaking as it ceased and she sagged limply, blood rushing in her ears. James caught her before she could fall and cradled her gently in his lap, rubbing dripping tendrils of hair away from her face.

"That's my girl," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Too brave for her own good."

Her body felt vague and heavy as she stared up at him. She tried to say something, tried to touch him, but she was so tired. Her eyes drooped of their own accord. The last thing she saw before she lost consciousness was his infuriating smirk.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing! I'm so pleased that you like it and it's not just me being a pathetic fangirl. I love this pairing probably the most out of anything I've ever read, so writing for them is easy. I'm not making a huge effort for accuracy, but I'm finicky that way so none of you cannonites should get too ticked off at me. Mostly this is just meant to be a fun love story, so sit back and enjoy the sweet, gooey magic!

Sorry about chapter 8. I uploaded it late last night and apparently didn't save all of it. I'll have to upload the rest after work, but I'll try to get up a new chapter tonight or tomorrow. Thanks again for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Lily was hot. Burning up, really. Why was it so hot? And something kept brushing her nose, but she couldn't raise her hand to push it away. She was pinned beneath something too heavy to move. Even her legs refused to work. Shifting uncomfortably, she turned her face in an effort to give her nose some relief and rolled her head on something hard.

Her eyes popped open as the darkness abruptly receded, and she stared in surprise at James's collar bone. He was asleep, wheezing softly and keeping her pinned against his chest with his arm over the top of the blanket. A swift glance around told her that she was in his room, yet she had no recollection of going to bed with him.

Biting her lip, she tried to ease herself away and instantly experienced two sensations. The first was that one of her calves had gone completely numb. In a rush, she remembered her injury and sighed. There was nothing wrong with her. The loss of feeling was only slightly disturbing.

Her face really flushed when she realized that she had been stripped down to her knickers at some point after she had lost consciousness and James didn't seem to be in a much better state of dress. The part she could see from the chest up was completely nude. The thought of checking his bottom half caused her to blush so hard her face hurt. What the hell had he done? There was no way he would have taken advantage of her while she was unconscious... was there? She knew she was jumping to dangerous conclusions, but she couldn't help being a little frazzled by waking up like this.

Letting out a soft cough, James suddenly stirred. She was so startled that she immediately closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep as he cuddled her closer. She wondered if he'd caught a cold as he sniffed. The arm that had been pillowing her head shifted as he went up on his elbow. After a moment, he touched her face, pressing his palm gently against her cheek before trailing it down to her neck, then moving up to her forehead.

Seeming satisfied by her temperature, he did something unexpected. Twisting the fingers of his free hand into her hair, he leaned forward and rubbed his nose affectionately against hers. In her recollection he had never done anything of the kind before and it caused her cheeks to flame. Of course that was the sort of reaction he couldn't miss and the smile was evident in his voice as he said, "I know you're awake, Evans. No use pretending anymore."

Pressing her lips together, she blinked up at him shyly. "Hi."

"Hi," he said with a cheerful grin.

"Why are we naked?" she asked softly.

Frowning, he shook his head at her. "Not quite naked, Evans. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Then why aren't we fully clothed?" she persisted, losing a bit of her cool when he evaded her.

"Because I happen to take hypothermia very seriously," he replied earnestly.

"Aren't there potions for that?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes, but I don't have any," he sighed with mock impatience. "You should be thankful, Evans. I could've undressed you completely."

"To what end?" she asked in light amusement.

His shoulders lifted in a vague shrug. "Mostly out of morbid curiosity."

Intentionally deciding not to take offense, she gave him a wry smile. "I think things might have worked out better if you'd taken us straight to the infirmary."

"Nah," he scoffed, rolling onto his back and stretching as he crossed his arms behind his head. "No one goes to the infirmary anymore, Evans. It's just not cricket. All the cool kids are dealing with their crippling maladies on their own these days."

Lily looked at him sharply. He seemed nervous. Like he was hiding something. Now that she thought of it, his voice was definitely hoarse. It made her wonder how long had he chosen to stay with her without seeking proper medical attention. Frowning in concern, she reached out to press the back of her hand to his forehead and found that he was feverish. His skin burned beneath her touch, but he caught it away in an instant and smiled, pressing his lips against her fingers with a mocking glint in his eyes.

"You need to go to the infirmary," she told him firmly.

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"James-"

"I'm _fine_, Evans," he repeated stubbornly.

"You're burning up," she told him unhappily. She pressed her palms to his cheeks and he grabbed them hurriedly away. "You _need_ medicine."

His face was hard as he set her hands in her lap. "What I need, Evans, is some rest from looking after a certain bossy somebody."

She glared at him fiercely, refusing to be bullied into a temper. "James-"

"Lily," he shot back, trying to set her off balance.

"_James," _she tried again, leaning close to his face.

"Lily." His voice was soft and tender, making her breath catch as he reached up to brush his fingers down her cheek. The contact was so gentle that it sent shivers down her spine, but that was nothing compared to the intense look in his eyes. "You do realize you're nearly starkers, right?"

"I'll go get you some medicine," she said abruptly, her face heating because she _had _forgotten that minor detail.

His laughter followed her all the way into her room. She rushed into her clothes and out into the hallway, surprised when she realized it was only about an hour after dinner. The halls were thronged with students enjoying the first Friday of the term and she greeted several of them as she walked briskly to the infirmary.

"Alright, Evans?" Remus loped up to her with a friendly grin just as she reached the third floor. "You seen Prongs anywhere? He's been missing since Quidditch and the lads are getting anxious that he tried broom-surfing again."

Blushing self-consciously, she gave him a shy smile and shook her head. "More like a dip in the lake. I think he's caught a cold, so I'm getting some medicine for him."

"No need for that," Remus announced with a grin, hooking an arm around her neck and urging her the other way. "Sirius has a secret family recipe that can cure colds in under ten seconds. Madame Pomfrey's never seen anything like it. I'll bet you've been mothering him this whole time, you're such a dear. Must be starving too, I'd wager."

"Have you done something to the infirmary that you don't want me to know about?" Lily guessed suspiciously.

"_Me?_" he asked incredulously, placing a hand on his chest and regarding her with wide, guileless eyes. "Wouldn't dream of it. That sounds very dodgy-"

Holding up her hand and giving him a pointed look, she tilted her head at him. "You know I'll find out eventually, Remus."

"Except there's nothing to know, Evans," he replied smoothly. "Has anyone told you that you're a little paranoid?"

"Paranoid is usually the same as right where you and your mates are concerned," she murmured in amusement, dodging under his arm and jogging lightly toward the infirmary. He chased after her to slow her down, but could do nothing to cover the loud, angry squawks emanating from inside.

"Miss Givens _please!" _Madame Pomfrey cried in a harried voice beyond the double doors. "If you don't calm down, I can't help you."

An unpleasant premonition preceded her pushing the door open to find a very angry ostrich clawing the stuffing out of one of the beds while Madame Pomfrey stood by with her wand at the ready trying hard to reason with the transfigured student. The room was already in shambles and she'd rarely seen the nurse look more frazzled, so she moved forward to offer her assistance. Unfortunately her presence only seemed to irritate the enormous bird further, and she snapped her beak angrily before flying at the Head Girl.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Remus cried, whipping his wand at the creature before it could take two steps.

She fell heavily to the ground and Madam Pomfrey let out a harried sigh. "Well done, Lupin."

"Why didn't you do that yourself?" Remus asked as he moved forward to help the women lift the bird onto the decimated bed.

"I was trying to find a more... humane approach," the older woman said stiffly.

"What happened?" Lily asked curiously, setting the other girl's distended head gingerly on the pillow.

"Search me," Madam Pomfrey sighed, attempting a disenchantment spell and receiving a cold fizzle in response. "There's a locking matrix on the transfiguration that I can't quite make out. I'd say Miss Givens must have run amok of some of her more vengeful classmates."

Though she was careful not to look at Remus, it was obvious who she meant. After all, Madame Pomfrey was the one who cared for the majority of the Marauder's victims. It was a mystery why she didn't resent the extra work they gave her. Not only were they wildly inventive, they also liked to incorporate nasty surprises that made the damage tricky to undo. Lily sometimes wondered if she didn't relish the challenge after years of engorging charms and bat bogey hexes gone wrong.

Sighing and daubing at the sweat on her forehead, Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "Best to let her calm down for now, I think. I'll need to stew on this for a few minutes. Was there anything the pair of you needed?"

"Potter's got a cold," Lily informed her with a calm smile.

"James?" the nurse mused in surprise, turning immediately toward her cupboard of potions. "Daft boy. He must have been flying without a scarf again."

"Playing in the lake, actually," Lily smiled. "And while you're at it, I should take some too."

This comment earned her sharp looks from several angles, but she kept her expression neutral as she accepted the potions. Steam poured from her ears as she took her dose, and she coughed through her thanks as she turned to the door. She thought for a moment that she might escape, but Remus was right on her heels.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he said, "The house elves would be glad to nip up some soup for the pair of you. It'd be chaos if you both were out of commission."

"Would you mind going, Remus?" she asked softly. "I don't know the way and I really should get back to James."

His expression was unreadable as he nodded. "Sure thing. Only, just to warn you, James is a terrible patient. He gets moody and whiny and doesn't like taking medicine. The only person he'll actually behave for is his mother."

"I'll keep that in mind," she smiled, gripping his arm appreciatively. "Thanks Remus."

"Be careful, Lily," he smirked, saluting as he split off down a side hall.

She rushed back to their rooms, hardly acknowledging the other students in her haste. By the time she reached his room, however, he was sitting propped up against his pillows with a book in his hands. The look he gave her was cold as he peered through his glasses. "I'm not taking any medicine, Evans."

Ignoring his quelling look, she tucked the vial of potion into her back pocket and approached him with a warm smile. "You look flushed. Would you like some water?"

He stared at her suspiciously before giving a grudging bob of his head. It only took her a minute to get him a cool glass of water and some wet cloths from the bathroom. Taking a seat beside him, she let him drink his fill before daubing gingerly at his face with the washcloth. He seemed to relax slightly under her ministrations and she smiled. "Did I thank you for rescuing me?"

Arching a sardonic eyebrow at her, he shook his head. "I think you were too busy blaming me for getting you into trouble in the first place."

"Well thanks anyway," she murmured, smoothing the cloth down his neck onto his chest. "You're always there when I need you."

"I try," he croaked in a gravelly voice, looking nonetheless pleased for her flattery.

His eyes flicked up over her shoulder a moment before there was a gentle tap on the door. She turned with a ready smile as Remus entered carrying a covered tray. "Alright there, Prongs? You hungry?"

"I'm fine, Moony," he chuckled softly, followed by a harsh cough. "Evans is just overreacting."

"I'm sure she is," his friend humored him easily, setting the tray on his nightstand. "Since you're alright, I'm gonna leave you in her care. The lads wanted to set up an obstacle course for Filtch before bedtime and I think they need my help."

"I'll come with you," he volunteered, throwing back the covers.

Before he could move, Lily put a hand on his chest and pushed him back into the pillows. Giving him a firm look, she tucked the blankets up around him. "You can torment the janitor with your friends after you've had a good rest."

"Can I hold you to that?" he grinned impishly.

"You've never needed her permission before," Remus laughed on his way to the door. "Mind you behave yourself for the nice lady, Prongs."

"She's not a lady, she's Evans," he shot back humorously.

Lily ignored him as she uncovered a tray of bracing hot soup, bread, tea, milk, and a nondescript tumbler of amber liquid. Before she could stop him, James snatched it up and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp, wincing in pain as the alcohol burned down his esophagus. She gave him a skeptical look but he only grinned and coughed as he set it aside.

Clapping his hands in front of him, he gave her an expectant look. "Are you going to feed me, as well?"

"If you need me to," she said easily as she ladled out a bowl and picked up a spoon. When he only opened his mouth obligingly, she smiled and scooted closer. Blowing to cool it, she held out his first bite and tried not to giggle when he slurped it up. "Is it all right?"

"Of course," he grinned cheekily. He didn't give her any more trouble as she fed him the rest of the bowl. In fact, he was looking quite sleepy by the time she'd finished and set the tray aside. Leaning over him to adjust his pillows, her hair inadvertently dropped into his face and he wrinkled his nose. "You smell like the squid, Evans."

Straightening abruptly, she gathered it over her shoulder and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry. I haven't had a chance for a proper bath."

"You should take the time. You stink," he said harshly, keeping his eyes averted as he burrowed down moodily onto the soft cushions like a spoiled prince.

Lily only smiled and reached up to brush his hair off his forehead. "I'll get right on that after you take your medicine."

In an instant, his expression went from surly to downright mutinous. "If you think you're gonna get me to drink one of Poppy's nasty potions, you've got another thing coming, Evans."

"How about a trade?" she offered quickly.

His eyes were skeptical as he crossed his arms over his chest. "What kind of a trade?"

Fighting the urge to smile, she tugged out the vial of potion and studied it casually. "Let's say... you drink the potion and I'll do something for you."

"Like what?" he asked, intrigued in spite of himself.

"Whatever you fancy," she replied with a shrug.

"Within reason?" he tested dubiously.

Lily shook her head calmly. "Be as unreasonable as you like."

He frowned skeptically. "What if I asked you to streak through the Quidditch pitch during the next game?"

"I'd say you'd need to get yourself some binoculars so you wouldn't miss it," she shot back easily.

"What if I asked you to steal something from Dumbledore?" he fired off at random.

"His password is still ginger snaps, right?" she replied with a grin.

"What if I wanted you to seduce Peter?" he asked belligerently.

Twisting her hair lazily around her finger, she frowned airily. "I've got a black dress and ten minutes free. Got any hard ones, Potter?"

"Fine," he grumbled, holding out his hand for the vial.

She smiled as he chugged the lot down in one breath and glared at her as smoke poured from his ears. "Well done, James. Now what do you want from me? I understand if you need to think about it."

He jabbed his finger to the right without hesitation. "Bring me the box in the bottom of my wardrobe. The one with the scorch marks."

Giving him a quizzical look, she moved to do as he asked and watched curiously as he opened it and rifled around inside for a moment before removing a small blue vial of potion. "James-"

"A potion for a potion, Evans. Drink this first thing in the morning," he instructed briskly.

She accepted the bottle hesitantly. There was no label or indication of what it might be, which of course made her nervous. "What is it?"

"It won't do any permanent damage," he assured her cheerfully.

"All right, but what is it?" she repeated anxiously.

Grinning, he tapped his nose and closed the lid on the box. "That's for me to know and you to find out. Now, if you don't mind, could you clear out? I'm feeling a little tired and unless you're planning to sleep with me..."

"Only if you want me to," she replied readily.

It just hurt a little bit when he let out a sharp bark of laughter. "I don't think so, Evans. If I wanted to wake up to the smell of fish, I'd shag a mermaid. Off you get. There's a good girl."

Slipping the vial into her pocket, she gathered up the tray and headed for the door. He flopped lazily onto his stomach as she turned back. "I'll be right next door if you need anything."

"Yes, mummy," he sighed, dragging one of the pillows over his head.

"Goodnight, James," she called with a smile.

She almost didn't hear him as she closed the door behind her.

"Goodnight, Lily."

Author's Note: Okay- finally got my saving together. I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review because it makes me feel good about myself! If all goes well, I should have a new chapter out sometime this evening. Now I need to go back to work!


	9. Chapter 9

The night didn't pass easily for Lily. First she couldn't sleep because she was too worried about James. She checked on him repeatedly, only satisfied when she had listened for several minutes to his loud, peaceful snores. Next she began to worry about the potion he had given her. What sort of hellish trick was that? Would it turn her into a monster? Erase all of her memories? Cause her to shrink like Alice in Wonderland? Her rabid speculations kept her busy for half the night. When she finally _did_ fall asleep, she had terrible nightmares about falling, drowning, and being attacked by shadowy figures. She'd wake with a start and begin the whole process all over again.

She was exhausted by the time the first silvery rays of light shone through her window. Sighing, she rolled ponderously out of bed and padded to the bathroom. James was waiting just outside, dressed and ready for the day. Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, he gave her a friendly grin. "Morning Evans."

His appearance was a little rattling, so she paused nervously. "Good morning?"

"Did you take the potion yet?" he asked without preamble. In spite of the previous night's illness, he didn't seem any worse for wear as he straightened and turned to face her with an irritating smirk.

Her already knotted stomach twisted painfully, making her feel as though she was going to be sick. After a short pause, she shook her head. "No."

"Now, now, Evans. You promised to take it first thing," he scolded pleasantly, tapping her nose as though she was an errant puppy. "Go and get it."

"I need a shower," she hedged deliberately. His insistence did not bode well for whatever he had in store for her.

"All in good time," he assured her, stepping in the way when she tried to go around him.

Frowning, she sidestepped. He mirrored her with an innocent smile, clasping his hands behind his back. She tried again and he blocked her effortlessly. Finally, she sighed and spun on her heel. "Fine!"

"There's a good girl," he grinned, ambling after her into the bedroom.

The bottle was waiting on her bedside table where she had left it the night before. She scooped it up quickly and popped off the cap before giving him an irritated look. "This had better not turn me into a toad or anything, James."

He chuckled as if she had said something very funny and leaned over her. Twisting a long strand of her hair around his finger like he was reeling her in, he grinned. "If you turn into a frog, I'll just kiss you and the experiment will be over."

"You're terrible," she grumbled, her face turning red at his close proximity.

"Drink it, Evans," he insisted, cupping his hand beneath hers and urging it up toward her mouth.

She couldn't help glaring at him as she finally raised the bottle to her lips and tipped the contents down her throat. For some reason she had expected pain. Maybe a burning sensation like alcohol. Or cramping in her stomach. She got nothing of the kind. The liquid was cool, odorless, and tasteless. Almost like water. What's more, it was somewhat refreshing.

"There's a good girl," he grinned, plucking the bottle from her hand and slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. "How do you feel?"

"Tired and somewhat grumpy, but otherwise alright," she replied easily. Then frowned. She hadn't meant to say any of that. All she'd meant to say was that she was fine.

Tilting his head curiously, he asked, "Why are you tired? Didn't you sleep well?"

Against her will, she replied honestly: "Actually I was up half the night worrying about you and the other half fretting over that dratted potion. Plus I had nightmares."

"Nightmares?" he queried solicitously.

"James-" It was an effort to say just that as she almost choked on an explanation about her dreams. "What was in that vial?"

"Veritaserum," he answered simply, rubbing the back of his head while he stretched. "About twenty-four hours worth. You seemed like you were trying to be more honest, Evans. I thought I'd give you a hand."

Hot horror caused her cheeks to blossom with color as she automatically covered her mouth and took a step away from him. Her mind was tumbling over all of the things she had never wanted to tell anyone. All of the things that could go horribly, horribly wrong if she was forced to be honest with everyone she met for the entire day. The only small mercy was that it was not a school day.

"You are such a bastard," she whispered painfully.

Grinning, he put an arm around her shoulders and ushered her to the door. "Come now, Evans. It's not so bad. Think of all the interesting conversations you'll have today. Oh, and by the way-"

"_Don't!"_ she warned through gritted teeth.

Turning abruptly, he pinned her against the doorway and leaned close enough to press his forehead to hers. His grin was maddening as he asked, "What do you _really _think of my hair?"

She couldn't look at him as her face burned painfully hot. She wanted to bite her tongue, but her mouth opened of its own accord and she admitted, "It's kinda cool."

He let out a loud "Ha!" of triumph before releasing her and heading out into the common room. "Thanks a lot, Evans! I'll be seeing you later! Mind you behave yourself!"

Feeling as though she could scream, she stomped furiously into the bathroom for a shower. Of all the underhanded tricks! The nerve of him! And just when she'd thought... Sighing, she leaned her face into the hot stream of water. Her anger cooled slowly as she realized it was silly. He was just being James. She had made him drink a potion that he didn't like and now he was returning the favor. His sense of proportionate response was a bit off, but he could have done far worse.

She was tempted to hide in her room until the torture was over, but suspected such an attitude would only illicit an unsavory response from James and his friends. After all, they weren't called the Marauders for nothing. So she dressed in a navy jumper and jeans, pulled her hair into a low ponytail, and headed out for breakfast determined to make the best of things.

Alice and Frank were already eating at the Gryffindor table, their heads bent close together over some obviously secret business. Rushing to take a seat beside them, Lily blurted, "James fed me veritaserum, so don't ask any questions."

"What happened?" Alice asked without thinking.

Sighing, Lily was forced to explain the events of the previous evening. In detail. Painfully specific detail. In fact, by the time she was through they were nearly finished with their breakfasts and her throat was beginning to hurt. Bursting with questions she couldn't ask, Alice was noticeably agitated.

"That wanker!" she cried in outrage, pounding her fist into her palm with a look that clearly indicated she wished it was his face. "And after you tried so hard to look after him!"

"Hush up Al," Frank muttered quietly, glancing over as James and his friends entered looking particularly pleased with themselves.

"Oi, Evans!" Sirius called impetuously. Striding up, he slumped into the seat beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Wouldn't you say that I'm looking _particularly_ handsome this morning?"

"You look just as handsome as every morning, Sirius," she replied automatically.

His grin was smug as he slid his fingers under her chin. "Aww... that's sweet of you to say, Evans."

"What about me, Lily?" Remus piped up from behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and smiling into her face. "Is it true you wanted to snog me during third year?"

"Yes, but only because you had such a cute smile," she admitted with a sheepish blush.

"Hey Lily," Peter said quickly. She braced for impact. "Er... what do you think of... pie?"

"_Pie_ Wormtail?" Sirius groaned with a sad shake of his head.

Trying not to giggle, Lily smiled at him kindly. "I like pie, Peter. Especially pumpkin."

Watching the festivities with a hearty grin, James shot her a cheerful wink. "All right then, lads. Let's leave Evans to her breakfast. I'm sure she has better things to do with her morning than gabbing around with the likes of us. Right Evans?"

Lily started to deny it, but Alice clapped her hand roughly over her mouth and smiled. "Actually, she does. Very nice of you to notice, Potter. Now why don't you all shove off?"

There was a tense pause before the boys grudgingly moved a short way down the table for their own breakfasts. Lily had been worried for a moment that they might be offended, but they seemed more impressed by her mettle than anything else. Alice was one of the few girls at the school with the gumption to stand up to them, so they rarely pestered her.

"That was close," Frank sighed in relief.

Cocking her head to the side, Lily gave him a curious look. "Where's Annabelle today? I haven't seen her since yesterday."

Shifting uncomfortably, Frank rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and shrugged. "Actually we've had a bit of a row. She's unhappy with me spending so much time with you girls so she's not talking to me."

Lily couldn't help feeling guilty for causing him problems and frowned apologetically. "Frank, you really don't have to-"

"I want to," he interrupted with a quick smile. "Besides, you lot would still be in the library if it weren't for me."

"Some good it did us," Alice shot back saucily. "Now Lily's got to go through the entire day being honest with everyone."

"It's not so bad," Lily shrugged weakly, picking at the remnants of her toast.

She blushed under the weight of their identical looks of disbelief and Frank leaned forward to put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Lily, it won't last forever."

"I know that, Frank," she said since she couldn't tell him that she wasn't worried.

"Now what are we going to do to get him back?" Alice grumbled, shooting a menacing look at the back of James's head.

"I don't want to get him back," Lily insisted in a soft voice. "I did agree to this after all."

Rubbing his hand thoughtfully down his chin, Frank mused, "Well then, we'll just need to turn this to our advantage."

The girls stared at him blankly. "How?"

It was obviously impossible, but Frank still frowned pensively. He remained deep in thought as the girls finished their tea and headed out into onto the grounds. It was a breezy day with a blue sky full of puffy white clouds and the promise of sunshine. Perfect weather for playing outside and they weren't the only students to notice. Scattered groups of early risers gamboled around the lake and lounged on the grass with books and snacks. Lily couldn't help smiling at the peaceful scene.

"Alright, Lily?" Dante Dalgetty called as he approached from the lake. He still seemed to be suffering from the hiccups, but grinned broadly nonetheless. "You look nice today."

Lily smiled nervously as he took his place beside her. "Good morning, Dante. That sweater brings out your eyes."

Alice nudged her warningly, but his grin only widened as he reached up to compulsively brush down his short brown hair. "Er... thanks. I've always liked it myself."

Laughing just a hair too loudly, Alice said, "That's my best friend! She's always loved making random observations, right Lil?"

"No," Lily replied honestly.

Luckily Dante didn't seem to notice. Scuffing the toe of his shoe in the dirt, he said, "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk around the lake."

"I _would_ like that," she replied before anyone could stop her.

"Great," he hiccuped merrily. He held out his hand, then frowned when Alice and Frank stepped forward to grab both of her arms. "Um... did you two want to come as well?"

"Sure!" Frank chimed in cheerfully. "It's cozier with the four of us."

His look clearly indicated that he didn't agree, but he was too polite to object as they headed off with her friends between them. They hadn't gone more than a few steps before he leaned forward to give her a smile. "So Lily, how was your first week of classes?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders calmly. "The classes were fine, but James-"

"Would you look at that!" Frank shouted, catching her hand and wrenching her toward the nearest tree.

"What is it?" Dante asked curiously as he followed with Alice.

Scratching his head, Frank gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. I thought I saw an augery."

Dante opened his mouth to question him, but let out an enormous hiccup instead. Raucous laughter behind them quickly diverted their attention. Barefoot and disheveled in the clear semblance of pirates, the Marauders were in the process of transfiguring a table into a seaworthy craft for adventures on the lake, surrounded by a flock of giggling admirers. With a Ravenclaw colored tie secured around his head in a makeshift eyepatch, James was surveying the work and uttering a hearty, "Yarr" as he rubbed his chin.

"Is it Pirate day already?" Dante laughed. "Honestly, I don't know how a lad like that got to be Head Boy."

"Probably because he's easily three times smarter than any other boy at the school," Lily said with a distracted smile.

The Scottish boy gave her a surprised look and Alice broke in quickly, "He always _does_ get top marks in his classes."

"Without half paying attention in most of them," Frank added helpfully.

"I guess," Dante conceded conservatively. "Only, I always figured he was cheating somehow."

"We all did," Frank agreed.

Frowning and crossing his arms over his chest, Dante nodded toward the group of girls. "Pathetic, isn't it? I can't believe so many girls fancy them with the way that they act."

A sharp buzz near her ear startled Lily out of responding. Instead she flinched and reached up to brush the nuisance away, catching hold of something smooth. Bringing her hand down, she peered curiously at the golden snitch. It winked up at her from her palm as its wings folded neatly.

"Gar! The wench is trying to steal me booty!" James cried, unsheathing and brandishing his wand like a sword as he sprinted toward her. "Unhand that buried treasure ye scurvy dog or I'll cut ye t' ribbons and have yer gizzard fer a hat!"

Giggling with fright, Lily did the only thing she could think of: she ran. Chancing a glance behind her, she shouted, "It's not buried treasure if it's flying, you git!"

His long legs were eating up the space between them, making her heart flutter in panic. "Treasure be treasure no matter where it lies, ye yellow-bellied landlubber! I'll haul ye to the brig fer yer impertinence!"

"James! James! Eek!" she screeched as he tackled her off of her feet. Unhurt, she laughed as they tumbled over each other and came to a rest in the soft grass near the shore.

"Get off her, Potter!" Dante cried in outrage as he strode up to them. "She's a _girl_ not one of your mates. You've got to be more gentle with her."

James ignored him as he worked to hogtie his captive with the borrowed tie and Lily could only giggle helplessly as she kicked him away. Furious, the Ravenclaw reached out to grab his shoulder. In a flash, James was on his feet with his wand pointed at the shorter boy and a deadly look in his eyes. "Take one more step and I'll send ye to Davy Jones's locker, ye lice infested bilge rat. There's not a man nor woman alive can rob me of me prize."

Lily felt a little bad for him as he took a nervous step backward, but James didn't give him a chance to reconsider. Stooping down, he hauled her into his arms and raced back to the now fully prepared ship.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked wryly, trying and failing to remove the tightly knotted strip of silk from her wrists with her one free hand.

"Yar," he replied unhelpfully.

"Glad you could make it, Evans," Remus called cheerfully as he dragged himself over the edge, sopping wet from casting off.

"Haven't got anything to eat, have you?" Peter inquired anxiously. Lily shook her head apologetically as James set her on her feet and his shoulders slumped dejectedly. "Too bad. Prongs made us run out before we could finish breakfast when he saw that damn-"

Slapping his hand down hard on the smaller boy's shoulder, Sirius gave him a stern look. "Be ye a landlubber, Mister Wormtail?"

His blue eyes widened in surprise. "N-no!"

"Then talk like a scurvy seadog or ye'll be swimmin' back to school!" he threatened darkly.

"R-r-right!" Peter nodded furiously. Sirius gave him a pointed look and he jumped. "Er... I mean... yar."

Lily watched in amusement as the boys scurried around their makeshift ship, growling, itching, and swearing like they imagined real pirates would. Remus was the only one who seemed impervious to the "talk like a pirate" rule, but he was enjoying himself just the same. She reckoned he had earned the privilege somehow over all these years.

The Marauders liked to host at least one pirate day per term. Last year they had kidnapped Mrs. Norris and attempted to make her walk the plank they had attached to the Prefect's bathtub. It hadn't been pretty. Filtch had tried to ruthlessly punish anyone who had so much as _looked_ at the cat for weeks afterward.

"Excuse me Captain?" Lily called curiously as they began to drift across the lake in a boat that was barely big enough for the four of them.

"Sirius is the Captain of this vessel since he has the hat," Remus pointed out sensibly. "Prongs is the First Mate."

Lily couldn't help laughing a bit at the distinction- and Sirius's ridiculous hat. Clenching the snitch between her palms, she asked, "All right then, First Mate Potter... where are we going?"

"'Tis no business of yours, ye pox-ridden wench," he grumbled distractedly as he peered through a collapsable telescope at the shore where the group of girls were still waiving vainly. "Yar... Shiver me timbers!"

"I beg your pardon?" she replied in an outraged voice.

He glanced back at her with a grin and a wink. "Maybe later."

"Only if you're _very_ lucky, Potter," she shot back airily.

"You do remember that you can only tell the truth, right Lily?" Remus pointed out uncomfortably.

"I reckon we've still got some Felix Felicis if yer sore up fer it, Mister Prongs," Sirius growled with a devilish grin.

Lily's face instantly flushed as she realized what she had said and she looked away awkwardly. Catching sight of a very green Peter leaning over the railing, she frowned. "Are you okay, Pete?"

She would have felt his forehead, but her wrists were still bound in front of her and none of the boys had seemed inclined to free her. Instead, she leaned beside him and brushed her shoulder against his comfortingly. He gave her a weak smile and shook his head. "I guess I am a bit of a landlubber."

"Sirius," she called over her shoulder. "Take us back to shore."

He shot her an impatient look that instantly cooled when he noticed his friend's distress. He abandoned the wheel as he strode across the deck toward them. "Mister Moony?"

"Aye, Captain," Remus replied automatically.

"Bring us about," he instructed briskly. "We're bound fer home."

Lily couldn't help smiling at Remus's soft "Yar," and gave Peter a reassuring look as James leaned in on his other side. "See there, Peter? We'll get you fixed up in a jiff."

"Won't be a mo, Wormtail," Sirius told him bracingly.

The words stirred a vague echo of deja vu in Lily, but Remus called out before she could place it. "Um, lads? Did we happen to check with the squid about sailing this worthy vessel on its lake?"

Before anyone could answer, the deck tipped alarmingly. Massive tentacles snaked up over the railing on either side, feeling around curiously. Almost as though it was trying to remember something from days gone by. In an instant their mad adventure became a little more than they had bargained for, but the boys sprang into action without hesitation.

Dashing forward, Sirius caught Peter's arm and headed for the upper deck while James tossed Lily over his shoulder and sprinted after him. The shore was drawing rapidly closer, but it was obvious that they were sinking. A sharp snapping noise heralded the breaking off of a large chunk of the prow and the boys quickly agreed climbing was their best option.

Like so much baggage, Lily could only hang helplessly as James caught hold of the rigging and scrambled up to the crow's nest one handed. There were plenty of thoughts buzzing around her head, but she couldn't stop laughing at the situation long enough to verbalize any of them. With a hard lurch the ship finally struck the sandy bottom in the shallows of the lake and her tongue came unstuck. "James put me down!"

"Not a chance, Evans," he shouted as he prepared to jump into the water. "You can't swim for shit!"

"Especially with your hands tied!" Remus called before he did a cannonball off the rigging.

"James-!" she yelped as he transferred her from his shoulder to his arms.

He gave her a wicked grin and hugged her close to his chest. "Trust me, Evans. I still won't let you drown. Going down with the ship, Captain Padfoot?"

Lily glanced back to find the dark haired boy standing beneath them at the wheel with his hat covering his heart. He had shoved Peter over the side when they'd struck bottom and the portly boy had already made it to shore, but he seemed disinclined to make his own escape. Keeping his eyes forward, he called, "Save yourself Mister Prongs! And tell my mother to stick it in her ear!"

"Aye-aye, Captain!" A sharp scream escaped her as James suddenly jumped from the crow's nest, fearlessly plunging feet-first into the cool water. Without the use of his arms, it took a little longer for him to kick to safety. They both gasped as they broke the surface, but James immediately turned and shouted, "Hit it, Moony!"

In a flash, the craft began to shrink. Within seconds it was only half of a table and the squid prodded its pieces in disappointment. Relieved of his captain's duties, Sirius bowed to the krakken with a flourish before flopping rigidly backward into the water and began to kick languidly toward the shore. James nearly stumbled as his feet finally touched the bottom and he dragged her laboriously out of the water.

"What the _hell_ are you playing at, Potter?" Dante shouted, striding recklessly toward them. "Are you _trying_ to kill her?"

"Again?" Alice added unhelpfully. Frank choked on a laugh and nudged her.

James gave them all an affronted look before peering quizzically into Lily's face. "What? Everyone's fine. Are you fine, Evans?"

"I'm wet, but otherwise right as rain," she giggled as Dante stopped in front of them, stranding James waist-deep in the water. "I mean yar."

He grinned at her affectionately and she got the feeling he would have tapped her nose if he hadn't had his arms full. Still smiling, he looked up at Dante. "You see?"

"That was _incredibly_ dangerous," the smaller boy lectured.

Grimacing, James shot an amused look at his sopping friends. "Nah. We knew what we were doing the whole time, right lads? It wasn't dangerous. Did _you_ think it was dangerous Evans?"

Laughing in relief, Lily nodded. "Of course it was dangerous _and_ foolish. But it was fun too."

Her response only seemed to please James further, but Dante's face turned red and he held out his hand. "Put her down, Potter. She should go to the infirmary."

"I want to stay with James," she said without thinking.

Luckily Alice was on hand to take care of her. Calling out from the beach she said, "She's right Potter, you lot should get inside and change! Don't want to catch cold again, do you?"

For some reason her words embarrassed him and he abruptly dropped her. Fully submerged, she choked on a mouthful of water before Dante dragged her to the surface. He was already shouting angrily at the Head Boy as he steadied her on her feet. "What the hell, James?"

"She got heavy," he said simply, brushing past them as he slogged to the shore.

Lily watched him stomp off while Dante worked at the knots around her wrists. "See what I mean? Impossible. I don't know how you put up with him, Lily."

She smiled up at him as he failed to untie her. "He's just throwing a tantrum. Don't let it get to you. Can we go inside now?"

He practically stumbled over himself to do as she asked and she gave Frank and Alice a cheerful grin as they surrounded her. A quick drying incantation from Alice made her a little more comfortable, but she was starting to smell like a swamp as they trudged toward the castle. Frank tried untying her hands with a spell, but to no avail, so she gripped the snitch harder as they escorted her to her room.

"James!" she called as she headed to her bedroom for a spare set of clothes. She received no response, but knew he was around since she could hear the shower running. Without a thought she collected her things and headed for the bathroom. "I need you to untie me."

"Get your new boyfriend to do it," he grumbled sullenly.

"He's not my boyfriend," she told him patiently. Without answering, he switched off the taps and jerked the towel over the stall door. She could hear him rubbing furiously, but otherwise received no answer. Sighing, she set her clothes aside and leaned against the wall beside the door. A small smile played around the corners of her lips as she tried again. "It was rather fun playing with the Dread Pirate Potter. I particularly liked the eyepatch."

Wrenching open the door, he gave her a dark look and turned toward the mirror. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but for once she didn't get embarrassed as she watched him. "This is new."

His eyes met hers in the mirror but he quickly looked away. "What?"

"I'm usually the one throwing a fit while you chase me down to fix it," she replied with a smile. Holding out her gift wrapped hands, she gave him an innocent look. "Here's your snitch."

"Keep it," he said shortly, digging his fingers into his hair and mussing it vigorously.

"Won't that make quidditch games a little difficult?" she teased gently. He didn't even bother to respond and Lily heaved a soft sigh. "You smell nice."

He finally glanced at her again and she spotted the first ghost of a smile in his eyes. "Yeah?"

She nodded sincerely, but she wasn't thinking straight. Under normal circumstances she never would have told him such a thing. Maybe it was a side effect of the serum, but her inhibitions felt lower. When she spoke again, her voice was light and warm. "I like you, James. You're always so much fun."

She could just see the tips of his ears through his hair as they burned red, but his look was cool as he straightened. Turning away from the mirror, he crossed the room to stand menacingly over her. "Take a shower, Evans. You stink."

"Stop trying to hurt my feelings, James," she said gently, reaching up with both hands to brush his hair away from his forehead.

"Stop acting weird and maybe I won't have to," he shot back coldly. "Go take a shower."

"It's difficult with my hands tied," she reminded him simply. She couldn't understand why he was being so mean, but she refused to let it get to her.

Putting his hands on her shoulders, he pressed her against the wall and leaned so close that their noses were nearly touching. His voice was soft as he whispered, "Do you want me to kiss you, Evans?"

Her mouth had already gone dry, but she managed to nod while keeping her eyes locked with his. "Yes."

"Why?" he asked urgently.

She bit her tongue hard and looked away. Her stomach clenched. She couldn't answer that question. _Wouldn't._ Not until he had admitted how he felt about her. Digging his fingers painfully into her shoulders, he leaned his forehead into hers. His voice was mocking as he shook his head. "Why, Evans? Why do you want me to kiss you?"

The force of each question unanswered was staggering. Clenching her teeth and hands, sweat broke out on her forehead with the effort. Her breaths were growing short. Her chest constricted. She didn't dare open her mouth for fear of what might come out.

Releasing her shoulders, he reached up to touch her face. "Tell me, Evans. Answer me."

"Lily?" Alice called, tapping on the door. "You okay in there?"

The tension of his questions suddenly released and she breathed deeply. "I'm being held hostage, but I don't want you to worry."

"James Potter I am going to murder you!" the petite blonde cried, immediately trying the handle.

Catching his wand out of his back pocket, he shot a ward at the door without taking his eyes off of her. "Tell me why you want me to kiss you, Evans."

"It's a veritaserum not the Imperius Curse, Potter!" Alice shouted, angrily banging on the door.

"Calm down, Alice!" Lily called sensibly. "He's not going to hurt me. Just go back to the common room. I'll be out soon."

James sighed and raked his hand through his hair. After a tense moment, he stepped away, but shot her an irritated look. "This isn't over."

"Of course not," she acknowledged with a slight shake of her head. "I still have twenty-one hours of potion left for you to torment me."

The comment only seemed to amuse him. His look irked her slightly, but she didn't move when he reached out and tugged at the thin end of the tie. Her bindings unravelled easily. It was a relief to pull her wrists apart and she flexed them experimentally before giving him a smile that he didn't return. Without another word he brushed past her and out the door, only pausing momentarily to deflect the angry curse Alice threw at him from the common room.

Author's Note: Well, here's the new chapter. I hope you all like it! I was going to post last night, but there was some weather and we had to hide in the cellar for a while. I'd like to reiterate that this is not a serious fic. I'm not going to any great lengths to maintain accuracy or even plausibility. This is just for fun. Also, I know James is a bastard! I totally hate him right now. :)


	10. Chapter 10

The common room was oddly deserted by the time she had finished with her shower and changed. Pausing on the threshold, Lily glanced around curiously. James was obviously still in a snit, so she supposed he had gone off to sulk and plot with his friends. Dante had probably excused himself to change clothes since he had gotten wet as well, so that was another mystery solved. But where were Alice and Frank? She had been relying on their unwavering support to get through a day that already seemed incredibly long, even though it wasn't yet noon.

Shaking her head and only feeling a little tremor of nerves in her stomach, she headed out to the library for some pre-lunchtime homework and ran directly into a furious Megan Givens. Forcing a smile, she greeted her awkwardly. "Alright Givens? I see Madam Pomfrey got the feathers sorted."

The younger girl was in no mood to even feign civility and her brown eyes snapped as she glared at her. "What the hell, Evans?"

Furrowing her brow, Lily answered honestly even though she was tempted to run away. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."

"You attacked me last night!" Megan practically shouted.

Lily couldn't keep back her soft, inappropriate giggle and she immediately covered her mouth to stifle it. "No I didn't."

"You're threatened by my relationship with James," she snapped viciously.

Damn, why couldn't she stop smiling? "No I'm not."

The younger girl's face was red with emotion as she stomped close enough to grab her arm in a painful grip. "Well _someone_ transfigured me into an ostrich last night and you seemed to think it was funny then, too! Now tell me who would do something like that?"

"James," she said mildly. "Or one of his mates. I'm honestly not good enough at Transfiguration to even attempt something like that."

"Now why would he do that?" Megan asked in a skeptical voice. She released her grip in order to cross her arms defensively over her chest.

This was where things got a little tricky. Lily knew very well why she _suspected_ the Marauders of doing something like that, but she _didn't_ know if that was the truth or not. Luckily, a safe, honest answer was close at hand. "Because we're all Gryffindors and you nearly pushed me off the Quidditch stands last night."

"Well that's just mad," Megan dismissed her haughtily.

"Do _you_ remember me attacking you?" Lily asked pointedly.

This made the younger girl squirm. "Well... no. I came back to the castle and things got a bit fuzzy. But I know you had something to do with it!"

"Not intentionally," Lily laughed.

It was hard for the other girl to fight with her when she wasn't responding appropriately. She had learned a long time ago with her sister that getting mad only made things worse. What's more, antagonizing her would only serve to bring out her own weaknesses and Lily was trying very hard not to say more than necessary.

"Why don't you ask James?" Lily suggested sensibly.

"Maybe I will," Megan shot back heatedly.

Lily had to fight against laughter as the young girl spun on her heel and marched off down the hall. It was doubtful that she would do anything of the sort, but James was sure to have a logical explanation up his sleeve. He could always maintain plausible deniability and it was his quick wit that often kept him out of trouble. Not to mention that he could lie with impunity, unlike herself.

With that problem sorted, she resumed her trek to the library. Unfortunately she had only made it halfway when she ran into a sobbing first year. The girl was tall for her age with stick-straight shoulder length brown hair and big front teeth. Lily thought she might possibly have been sorted into Ravenclaw, but she couldn't be certain. Catching her easily, she knelt in front of her and hugged her close.

"There now poppet," she soothed in a warm tone, "what is it? Come now, love, it can't be all that bad."

"I-it's after me!" the child cried hysterically.

Now that she was concentrating, Lily thought her name might be Daisy. She tended to remember flower names. Frowning, she glanced over the child's head and saw that the hallway was clear. "There's no one after you, darling. Just calm down and tell me what you saw."

"S-s-s-snake!" Daisy gabbled, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "Great big terrible snake! It's got fangs and a- and a _tail_ and these horrible, glowing red eyes!"

Lily frowned thoughtfully as she brushed the girl's hair away from her face. Snakes weren't approved pets, but she knew for a fact that there had been worse smuggled into the school over the years. "Where did you see it?"

Though they were on the third floor, she assumed it had been in the dungeons. After all, a Slytherin would be the most plausible culprit for bringing in a massive snake. She was surprised, however, when she said, "I lost my diary, so I went to look for it in the Charms classroom. The room with lots of trophies..."

"It was in the Trophy Room?" Lily asked, drawing her handkerchief out of her pocket to daub at the girl's tears.

"I didn't mean to go in there!" Daisy cried defensively.

"It's all right," Lily laughed, letting her take the cloth to scrub her face and blow her nose. "You're allowed to go into the trophy room if you like. Now, can you do me a favor?"

Though the child's eyes were frightened, she nodded nervously. "What is it?"

"I need you to run outside and find Hagrid. He's the great big man who brought you to the castle, remember?" She gave the girl directions to the groundskeeper's hut before rising to her feet. Clearly anxious, the little girl agreed to go. Lily set her hand on her head and smiled. "He'll help me get rid of the snake."

She started to move past her, but Daisy caught her hand in a panicked grip. "You can't! Don't go in there!"

Moving back, Lily gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand. "I don't like snakes very much either. They kind of creep me out, but if I don't go look for it right now, it could escape into another part of the castle and scare someone else."

The prospect was enough to frighten the girl into action and she raced off down the hall without another word. Feeling only slightly guilty, Lily shook her head and turned back to the Trophy Room. Wand out, she pushed the door open cautiously. "_Lumos_."

The room was deserted, but there were plenty of nooks and crannies for a snake to hide in. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled as she stepped carefully inside to begin the search. A glance behind the first row of trophies yielded nothing, so she pressed on. How many places could a giant snake really hide? After a fruitless search, she had to admit she was stumped. Frowning, she was about to leave when she realized that the door to the armor gallery was standing slightly open.

"Oh... this is a bad idea," she whispered to herself, feeling more and more nervous the less she found. Still, she was a Gryffindor. Nerves wouldn't stop her from going into that shadowy room. Hagrid will be here soon, she reassured herself. He'd know what to do.

Pressing her lips together, she edged inside. The light from her wand jerked when it landed on one of the suits of armor. Its head was turned toward the door as if it had been expecting her. Probably someone's idea of a joke. Three guesses who. The rest of the suits were in order, still as statues. Putting her hand over her mouth, she giggled in relief.

A low growl made her blood run cold. Stiffening, she heard the ominous click of razor sharp claws on the stone floor as a lanky werewolf paced into view around one of the suits of armor. Its distended body moved with disjointed fluidity as it approached. The creature was covered in scraggly, sandy brown hair with an angry red scratch nearly bisecting the silvery right eye. It glared at her, another growl issuing from its lithe throat like a rumble of thunder.

Her heart began to pound. Fear choked off her breath like a hand around her throat. She was too frightened to move. A doglike tremor shook its entire body before the hair on its back stood up like a ridge. Her entire body jarred when it let out a piercing howl and her feet dug into the floor as she sprinted toward the door.

The beast was on her in two leaps and she screamed as its claws raked down her back. Her legs threatened to give out, but she darted around one of the suits of armor as it skidded into the door. This was impossible! What was that werewolf doing in the school? In the _daytime!_

Its talons dug into the wood like daggers as it launched itself off the door. Her stunning spell missed, ricocheting off a suit of armor and taking out one of the high windows. She scrambled to get away as the creature attacked once more, tackling another suit to the ground with a cacophonous clatter. Like lightning, it hurled itself at her. Holding her ground, she shot it squarely with a petrifying spell. It dropped like a stone.

The silence in the room was palpable as she stared at the prone figure. What was happening? Could it really be-?

She took an anxious step forward and the animal moved. Her eyes widened in disbelief as it rose ponderously to its feet and shook itself. The look it gave her was murderous. She backpedalled furiously, invariably tripping over her own feet and falling hard. Her head cracked against the stone floor, dazing her slightly. She just had time to raise her arms defensively before it was on her. Its teeth flashed and sank into her exposed flesh. She screamed as blood spurted over her.

The door flew open and she heard a furious shout before the beast was thrown off by a strong stunning spell. Spots danced before her eyes as she turned to see James standing confused and horrified in the doorway. He glanced behind him before pacing quickly toward her. "Lily, don't move."

"No problem," she gasped humorously. Her arm and back felt like they were on fire and the room seemed to be spinning.

She watched him draw closer, his friends following behind him. Cautiously, James stepped over her. The creature shifted and he held up his wand. Instead of attacking, however, its body wavered and changed so that her double lay dead on the floor in a pool of blood. Lily stared at it blankly, but James only laughed humorlessly and flicked his wand. "Oh, you little bastard. _Riddikulus!_"

The figure vanished in a puff of smoke. The next thing she knew, he was gathering her into his arms. His eyes were frantic as he surveyed the damage and she gave him a weak smile. When he spoke, his voice was soft and anxious: "You are _such_ an idiot."

"Thanks," she croaked. She wanted to tell him she was fine, but the potion wouldn't allow her to tell such an obvious lie.

Kneeling at her side, Sirius gave James a stern look. "It'll be okay, Prongs."

"This is bad," Peter said tremulously. She could just see him over Sirius' shoulder, looking like he was about to cry. "This is really bad."

"That's not helping, Wormtail," Remus hushed him fiercely, his jaw set in a stubborn line. "You can do this, Padfoot. I've looked ten times worse."

"It wasn't a real werewolf," James muttered, almost to himself as he smoothed her hair back from her forehead. "It wasn't real. She's going to be fine."

More alarming than her injuries was them talking like she wasn't there. It was making her feel a bit hysterical, but she had no time to consider giving them a proper lecture. Taking a breath, Sirius pressed his wand tip to her chest and she screamed. Pain as fierce as the cruciatus curse ripped through her, searing like fire over her wounds. She arched her back, kicking and scrabbling at the stone floor as James tried to hold her still. This wasn't right. It was too much. Blood roared in her ears as she nearly lost consciousness, but it was over in a few seconds.

Sobbing for air, she collapsed against James' chest. Her hands tightened as she gripped his shirt, tears of terror bursting her eyes. "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"

He hugged her close and looked at his friend over her head. "Nicely done, Padfoot. Remind me to buy you a pint next time we're in Hogsmede."

"Make it two, you stingy wanker. I just saved her life," Sirius grinned as Remus slapped him on the back.

Cupping his hand over the back of her head, James pressed a kiss to her hair and shook his head. "You are so stupid, Evans. What would you have done if we hadn't been at Hagrid's?"

"We don't want to go to the funeral of someone who gets killed by a boggart, you know," Remus teased.

"I'm sorry," she gasped.

"Yeah, you said that before," James laughed, trying and failing to pry her back so that he could look in her face.

"I'm not afraid of you, Remus!" she blurted abruptly.

It was easier to say it with her face safely hidden in James' chest, but she still felt miserable when the boys froze in alarm. She wasn't stupid. She had known Remus was a werewolf since fourth year. She had been out late visiting Hagrid and gotten attacked on her way back to the school. The whole thing was admittedly hazy, but she hadn't been able to forget those eyes. After that it was just a matter of putting two and two together when her schoolmate had come to class the next morning with the same scratch over his eye.

Sirius laughed to fill the uncomfortable pause. "Maybe we _should_ take her to hospital, Prongs. She's raving."

"Maybe we should give her memory a little scrub," Peter suggested, going for his wand.

Lily felt James tense as he shot him a deadly look. "You'll want to put that away, Wormtail."

"It's a bit stuffy in here, isn't it lads?" Remus said after an awkward moment. "Let's give the Heads some space. Lunch?"

She kept her head down as the other three boys beat a hasty retreat. Once they were gone, James sighed and reached up to rub the back of her head. "Why are you such an idiot, Evans?"

"I'm not," she replied tersely. Her tears were drying quickly, but she still felt weak and frightened.

"Well, I guess that's true enough," James chuckled. He shifted to lean his back against the pedestal of a fallen suit of armor, positioning her between his legs since she didn't seem in much of a hurry to leave. "You have to admit that you were daft coming here on your own, though. And you should've known that it wasn't a real werewolf."

"Please stop lecturing me, James," she whispered painfully.

He managed to stay quiet for nearly an entire minute before asking, "Didn't you try to stun it or anything? A normal werewolf wouldn't have been able to get back up. Of course, if you're as crap as usual and couldn't hit the thing-"

"Shut up, James," she reiterated, starting to feel irritated. Knowing that was probably his goal only made matters worse.

"Maybe I should talk to Dumbledore about giving you some extra lessons," he continued as though he hadn't heard a word she'd said. "I mean, if you're gonna insist on playing the hero and getting yourself nearly killed, you're gonna need all the help you can get. I wonder if that would be considered overtime-"

"I-" She bit her tongue abruptly.

His tone was infuriating as he twisted a long curl of her hair around his finger. "_Yes?"_

She meant to say that she hated him. It was what she usually said when he acted like this. Then they would laugh and he would tease her about looking drunk when she cried and it would be over. But she hadn't been about to say what she wanted. She was choking on "I love you" again, disconcertingly close to the last time. After a deep breath, she calmly said, "I don't hate you."

"I know," he grinned. "Lunch?"

"Sure," she sighed, allowing him to help her to her feet. Once vertical, she swayed dangerously and he was forced to catch her.

"Hey now," he warned, his arms strong and sure as he held her. "You might not be hurt anymore, Evans, but you did lose a fair amount of blood. You'll want to take it easy for a while."

She nodded obediently.

He slipped the wand she had dropped into her pocket and put a hand on her head. "And Evans?"

"Yes James?" she said easily.

Leaning his forehead into hers, he gave her a stern look. "Really, if you do something like this again, I'll kick your ass."

"Funny, I seem to recall winning all of our previous physical encounters," she said flippantly as he turned his back to give her a ride.

"That's only because I held back," he replied easily, hoisting her into a comfortable position and heading for the door.

"I know," she admitted before she could stop herself. He laughed and her cheeks washed with color.

He was still chuckling as he reached the stairs. "You okay now?"

"Yes," she shrugged. "What did Sirius do, anyway?"

"Advanced healing spell," James confided easily. "Hurts like hell, but it'll cure what ails you in ten seconds flat. Really helpful for conspicuous injuries."

"I bet," she murmured wryly.

She scanned the crowd as they entered the Great Hall and James shot her a curious look over his shoulder. "Problem, Evans?"

"I was looking for Frank and Alice," she explained distractedly, trying to ignore the looks they were receiving from the other students when they arrived in such an odd fashion. "They seem to have disappeared."

She missed the significant look that passed between the four friends as he dropped her to her feet beside the table and helped her take a seat. Rubbing his hair uncomfortably, James let out a charming laugh. "Oh, I'm sure they're around somewhere."

"Alright, Lily?" Peter greeted her awkwardly.

Taking pity on him, Lily gave him a warm smile. "Hey guys. Thanks... for everything. I'm not as good at defense as I'd like to be."

"You shouldn't try so hard," Peter told her cheerfully. "It's that Gryffindor spirit getting you into trouble."

"Personally, I blame your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Sirius said innocently. "Dumbledore should hire someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about."

"Someone like you, Padfoot?" Remus quipped humorously.

Peter tilted his head at her as she picked at her food. "Is something wrong, Lily?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I don't feel much like eating."

"Why?" James asked impetuously.

She gave him a dark look before focusing on her food. "Because I feel foolish for not recognizing a boggart."

"Oh that," Sirius mused over his chips. "I thought you might mean the other thing."

"What other thing?" she asked curiously.

He grinned remorselessly. "Nothing. Forget about it."

"But won't she be mad when she finds out-?" Peter stopped uncomfortably and Lily glanced at him.

"She'll get over it," Sirius shrugged.

Frowning, she studied each of their faces. James grinned and shrugged. "Nah... she's bound to forgive me."

"Can you just tell me what you did?" she asked impatiently.

"What's the fun in that?" James shot back with an irritating smirk.

To divert her irritation, she glanced around and Remus caught the look. Smiling innocently, he asked, "What are you looking for?"

"Frank and Alice," she admitted distractedly. "They went missing when I took a shower and I can't think where they've gotten to."

"Probably still in the infirmary," Peter muttered, then let out a loud oof when Remus elbowed him in the gut.

Lily's head snapped around and she gave them all a mistrusting look. "Why would they be in the infirmary? What did you do?"

James didn't look at her as he began heaping stewed carrots on her plate. Remus offered her a buttered roll with a weak smile. "In his defense, she did attack him first."

"What?"

She nearly knocked over her chair as she shot to her feet, but James still wasn't looking at her. He was wearing his carefully apathetic look that told her very clearly he had done something really horrible and hadn't yet figured out how to fix it. Her heart sank. How could he?

Though she was admittedly dizzy, she raced out of the Great Hall without a word, heading for the Medical Wing at a full sprint. She was nearly hysterical by the time she burst inside, but there was no need. Alice was sitting beside and unconscious Frank, holding his hand and beaming like a fool. The sight had not been what she was expecting, so she pulled up short.

"Another problem, Evans?" Madam Pomfrey asked with a pleasant smile.

She nodded her head toward the pair. "What happened to Frank?"

The older woman hid a girlish giggle behind a cough. "Seems your young friend ran afoul of one of Potter's cheering charms. Poor lad. He was nearly hysterical by the time his girlfriend brought him in."

"She's not his girlfriend," Lily said vaguely as she moved off toward her friend.

"Could've fooled me," Madam Pomfrey muttered.

"Alice," Lily called softly, pulling up a chair to sit beside her friend. "Are you okay?"

The petite blonde giggled in excitement. "I- I'm great!"

"What happened?" Lily asked in confusion.

"He said he loves me," she murmured breathlessly, reaching up to brush her fingers across his forehead with a tender light in her eyes.

In her dreamy state, it took a while to get the whole story. From what Lily managed to piece together, it seemed as though Alice had attacked James when he had tried to leave through the common room. A short duel had ensued until James had used his Cheering Charm. Knowing the damage it could do, Frank shielded her. The explanation got a little woolly after that, but she had the impression that was when Frank had told her he loved her. And from the little she gleaned from Madam Pomfrey, he didn't stop telling her loudly and expansively until he had taken the calming draught and fallen into a peaceful sleep. He'd need some time to sleep it off, but was otherwise bound to be fine.

"Oh Lily," Alice sighed happily, " I never thought- I mean, it seemed impossible! And James, well he's a wanker, but I could just kiss him!"

Lily couldn't help being happy for her. She knew very well that her friend had been longing for something like this to happen for years. The fact that it was James' impulsive bungling that made it possible was... complicated.

Biting her lip, she shot her friend a nervous look. "You're really not angry at all?"

"You know, I think I should be, but I just can't stop smiling," Alice replied with a shrug. Grinning, she adjusted Frank's blanket and rubbed her hand lovingly over his chest. "It's almost like James meant for it to work out this way. He just grinned and said, "It's about bloody time." Do you think he's really that clever?"

Lily couldn't help laughing at Alice's impersonation of James, which always made him sound just a tad bit dense. Her Sirius was even better. Leaning forward, she hugged the smaller girl tightly and kissed her cheek. She didn't tell her about what had happened in the trophy room. That story was just too dangerous right now. And she had always assumed the less people who knew about Remus' affliction, the better. So the girls spent a quiet afternoon in the infirmary watching over Frank, chatting aimlessly, and doing a bit of homework.

It was dark by the time she returned to her room for the night, but James and his friends were camped out in the common room playing cards. They visibly tensed when she entered, so she thought she might have a little fun. Striding by without looking at any of them, she went into her room and slammed the door behind her.

Listening at the door, she could hear an uncomfortable pause, then Remus said in a low voice, "Wow, she's pissed."

"She'll get over it," Sirius said easily.

"Probably," James agreed in a neutral tone. He didn't sound upset at all!

Flinging open the door, she strode back into the room, caught him by the jaw, pressed him back into the sofa, and kissed him. "That's from Alice."

He blinked at her in stunned silence before grinning. "Liar."

"How can you even say that?" she asked defensively. "You know I can't."

Leaning back, he stretched and rumpled his hair with an irritating smirk. "Right, Evans. Admit it: You just wanted to kiss me."

It was almost painful how quickly he could push her buttons. Her eyes snapped angrily as she shouted, "I did not!"

"Aww... does ickle Lily have a widdle crush?" Sirius teased, catching on to the game.

"You didn't have to make up an excuse, Evans," James continued smugly. "If you want to kiss me, just give me fair warning. I need to mentally prepare myself."

"I hate you!" She covered her mouth in surprise. She _had_ meant to say that. It was what usually came out in these circumstances. But, if the truth serum wouldn't allow her to tell lies, did that mean it was actually true?

Rubbing a hand down his jaw, Remus leaned his chair back on two legs and said, "You should probably tell her before her head explodes, Prongs."

"Give it another minute, Moony," Sirius replied with a grin. "She's clever."

Lily's eyes flicked over their mischievous faces before focusing on James, who looked slightly sheepish. After a moment, he pushed himself to his feet and grinned. Passing a hand over his hair, he admitted: "I sort of lied to you."

"Sort of?" Remus harped in amusement.

"That's putting it mildly," Peter chuckled.

"Let him talk, lads," Sirius scolded with an eager grin.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Lily kept her eyes fixed on James. "The potion was only meant to last for a few hours. I wanted to see how long it would take for you to catch on. I didn't reckon you'd keep it going the whole day. I never knew you were this gullible, Evans."

Against her will, a small bubble of laughter escaped her and she immediately covered her mouth while the boys stared in surprise. She _was_ angry, no doubt about that, but at the same time she had gone through all that trouble for nothing! Crossing her arms over her stomach, she dissolved into giggles.

"I think you've finally done it, Prongs," Peter said in a stunned voice. "She's cracked."

Author's Note: Okay- here's the reworking of Chapter 10. I wasn't happy with the one that I published first, but this new version is a lot better. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you very much for being patient with me and reviewing. It makes me feel great to know you like these mad tales as much as I do!


	11. Chapter 11

With her responding so strangely, it was no surprise that James took it upon himself to look after her. To the point of trying to help her shower, change, and eat. He even stayed in her room that night despite the fact that she insisted that she was fine and he could go to his own bed. He remained unconvinced and was quite smug the first three times that she woke screaming from nightmares. Despite everything, it _was_ comforting to know he was so close. It just didn't make for the best night's sleep.

He was out cold by the time she got up the next morning and she couldn't help smiling as she brushed his hair away from his face. She supposed he had been really worried about her, no matter how surly he pretended to be. As quietly as possible she moved to the door to use the bathroom. He hadn't moved by the time she got back, so she rummaged silently through her drawers to get ready. She should have known better.

Some innate sense woke him and he stared at her as she slipped her nightgown over her head. "Are you trying to seduce me, Evans?"

Letting out a strangled scream, she did her best to cover herself as she whirled to catch him putting on his glasses. "What? No! Close your eyes!"

"Why?" he yawned, pushing himself up and rubbing his hair sleepily as he watched her.

"This is not a show!" she shouted. Her face was burning and she was hunched over in the corner to keep him from seeing anything he hadn't seen the night before when he had tried to strip her in the shower stall.

Leaning his forearms on his thighs, he frowned thoughtfully. "Maybe if we had some music..."

"Out!" she shouted. "Get out! Stop trying to see me naked!"

"Like I'd want to," he scoffed. Her expression was murderous and he smiled. "You brought this on yourself, Evans." The mirror above her bureau shattered and he gave her an impressed look. "You know, I've read somewhere that gingers are five times more likely to produce accidental magic than the average-" A shoe aimed directly at his head was enough to cut off his speculation. Dodging the attack, he frowned indignantly. "Well you don't have to be so pushy."

"James Potter if you don't-"

"I'm going! I'm going!" He raised his hands harmlessly as he scooted out of the room, shoes and books hurling mercilessly in his wake and knocking the door shut with a resounding bang.

He kept himself out of sight until she had left the common room and she was thankful for that small gesture. In retrospect, he had been right: she shouldn't have changed with him in the room. That sort of thing was just asking for trouble. What had she been thinking anyway?

Frank had recovered from his unfortunate experience of the night before, but now he was dealing with a whole different beast: Annabelle. It was hard enough to break up with a girl, let alone doing it because of the reason she had suspected all along. The smugness alone would be crushing and Frank was genuinely a good guy. He'd never meant to hurt anyone. Shelving her own problems, Lily listened sympathetically as Frank explained. Having sat up all night with him in the hospital wing, Alice was still in bed getting a much deserved rest.

"I just never thought Al would see me that way," he murmured, flushing boyishly.

"Why were you even with Arden if you fancied Alice?" Lily asked dumbly. If the past few weeks had taught her anything, it was that she didn't understand boys at all. So, in the interest of learning, she was going to ask as many questions as possible. She might even take notes.

Frank offered a sheepish shrug. "Because she was interested in me. I kind of figured I would get over Alice like she was just a crush."

She opened her mouth to ask another question when James entered with his friends and his arm around a dark-haired Ravenclaw named Annette Radford. Smart, pretty, and Ravenclaw's star chaser, Lily couldn't help the little twinge of jealousy that dug into her chest at the sight. "Don't be daft, Lily, he does this every year."

Dragging her eyes away, she stared at Frank blankly. "What do you mean?"

"He's getting under her skin. If she fancies him, she won't try as hard at the first Quidditch match of the year nor will she practice as hard if she's mooning over him," Frank explained simply. "James is the king of psychological warfare. You know that."

She blinked dumbly before shaking her head. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she laughed. "Wow. You saw right through that, didn't you? I guess I've been trying not to be too aware of what he does when I'm not around."

"Sensible," Frank grinned. "You were always at each other's throats before you became prefects. I figured you must have gotten worn out."

Smiling, she shook her head. "Nah. After my mum died, I just realized it really wasn't worth being angry all the time. She used to get so upset when my sister and I fought. I think I always felt a little guilty."

To her surprise, Frank gave her a worried look. "Well, don't go too far. You don't want people to think that you're a push over."

Lily shrugged as she lifted her second cup of tea. "I doubt anyone would think that. I've just noticed things tend to go better when I listen rather than blow up."

"Alright, Lily?" Still plagued by hiccups, Dante gave her a nevertheless charming smile. "Sorry for disappearing yesterday. Someone stole all of my shoes." Her brow furrowed in concern as she glanced compulsively to his feet. Reading the look, he laughed and reached up to run a hand over his hair. "These are my mate's."

"I am so sorry, Dante," she apologized sincerely.

"It's not your fault," he laughed. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he scuffed his toe nervously. "Er... I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me since we didn't get to finish our last one."

"Right. I got keel-hauled," she giggled. Biting her lip, she reached up to twist a strand of hair around her finger. "Actually, I need to be honest with you-"

"She'd love to," Frank volunteered quickly.

Lily gave him a hard look. She had been about to admit that she fancied someone else. Why was he meddling? He nodded past her pointedly and she suddenly realized what he was about. James was back there and he must be looking. Which meant Frank thought it would be a good time to make him jealous. Which had worked _so_ well before. She really was going to owe Dante a fruit basket or something by the time this was all over.

Forcing a smile, she nodded. "Sure."

"Great," he gushed, forgetting to look cool and ending up appearing overeager and just a little awkward.

"Just let me go... get a sweater," she said uncomfortably, pushing herself up from the table.

"I'll go with you," Dante volunteered quickly. He gave her a sheepish smile. "I'm a little afraid Potter will steal you away again if I let you alone."

She couldn't help smiling at his nerves. He really was very nice. So she nodded and turned toward the door, noting with a vague twinge of alarm that James and Remus had conveniently disappeared. What were they up to? She sincerely hoped it didn't have anything to do with her. Besides, there were plenty of the people in the castle for them to prank today. It was a little egotistical to think they were shadowing her every move just to be difficult.

Her efforts to convince herself there was nothing to be worried about fell a little flat when she heard whispers coming from their hallway, but she still held out hope. Giving Dante a kind smile, she asked him to wait in the common room. She had only made it a few steps, however, when an adorable kitten moved into view. It was a fluffy gray and white with big blue eyes. Its velvety ears made her fingers itch to touch them. Bold as anything, it sat in front of her, dropped its ears, tilted its head, and mewled piteously.

Her heart melted at the sight. "Oh my gosh! James! Where did you get this cat?"

She received no answer, but she could hear Dante coming up behind her as she knelt to lift the little bundle of fuzzy love in her arms. "I didn't know Potter had a cat."

"He doesn't," she murmured distractedly as the kitten began to purr, rubbing its downy head into her neck. A dark thought crossed her mind and she frowned. "He must've stolen it for a prank."

"What?" Dante asked in confusion, trailing after her as she moved to check James' conspicuously empty room.

"We'll have to find the owner," she mused as the animal butted its head into her chin and let out a squeaky little mew. "Awww!"

Frowning, Dante put a hand on her arm and the kitten stopped purring to give him a sharp look. "Maybe you should leave it here. I mean, won't Potter be mad if you mess up his prank?"

"He can get over it," she said impatiently, rubbing her hand over the animal's silky fur. "Oh, your owner must be frantic."

The kitten mewled in agreement, standing on its hind legs and pawing delicately at her shoulder. Running a hand over his hair, Dante gave her a skeptical look. "But how are you going to find the owner? It's not like you can just ask the Marauders."

Lily giggled as the kitten flicked its scratchy tongue over her chin. "I'm sure someone's looking for it." She lifted it curiously and it let out an undignified meow, then she clutched the kitten against her chest and smiled. "Him. We can go on that walk and I'm sure we'll run into them."

After a few more minutes of coaxing he reluctantly agreed, although she wasn't sure if his reticence was due more to his fear of James or his apparent distaste for cats. Lily liked cats. She liked most animals, but she'd never had a pet due to her sister's allergies. Alleged allergies. Petunia only sneezed when she _saw_ animals. And this kitten was more affectionate than any other cat she'd ever met.

"It's getting hair all over you," Dante frowned as they moved out onto the grounds. They'd asked several students inside the castle, but no one seemed to recognize the cat.

"Aw, but he's so cute," she cooed, scratching his chin affectionately. "I wonder what your name is."

Twisting around on his back, the kitten mewled and batted its forepaws hopefully. Grinning, she tickled her fingers over his tummy and Dante gave it a disgruntled look. "It's not_ that _cute."

"You're mad," she laughed as the cat reached up to rub its downy paw over her jaw. A loud woof startled her and she looked up to see an enormous black dog loping toward them. It looked friendly enough, but the kitten immediately scrabbled to get away, scratching her arm in the process. "Oh no!"

"Let it go, Lily," Dante tried to hold her back as the pair raced off. "It's not your problem."

Lily gave him a surprised look as she tugged her arm out of his grip. "They're going into the forest, Dante. They could get killed. And then some poor little first year will probably be heartbroken over her cat!"

"Lily, you're not being rational," Dante argued, following agitatedly behind. "It's the _Forbidden_ Forest. That means you're not supposed to go in there!"

Biting her lip, she gave him a sharp look. "Well, I'm Head Girl. And these are extenuating circumstances! You don't have to come."

She broke out into a run as the animals disappeared in the shadows of the forest, hardly hearing as he shouted, "I can't very well let you go alone, you mad girl! It's dangerous! And stupid! Did I mention you're crazy?"

"I think you just did," she giggled as they entered the forest. Having never been in the woods before, they were hopelessly lost within five steps, but Lily didn't mind since she was too busy chasing the animals to notice.

"Typical Gryffindor!" Dante grumbled breathlessly. "Who needs a plan when you can barrel in and hope for the best?"

Lily only laughed at him as she glanced back over her shoulder. "That's a bit rich coming from a Ravenclaw. If I'd left it up to you we'd spend half the day arguing about ethics and destiny!"

Just when she wasn't looking the roots raised up beneath her, tangling her feet. She tumbled over a short drop and landed hard on the loamy forest floor. Dante's alarmed shout came from a distance, but she only smiled and waved as his head poked over the precipice. "I'm fine!"

"Great!" he groused as he looked for a probable route to the bottom. "This is just ruddy brilliant, Lily. Not only have we lost track of your bloody cat, you've gone and hurt yourself and I have no idea where we are."

Chuckling, Lily pushed herself up on her hands and shook her head at him. "Come now, Dante. Where's your spirit of adventure?"

He gave her a disapproving look. "I believe it went out for lunch with your common sense."

A soft mewl distracted him. He slipped and dropped hard into the mud beside her. Smug as the Cheshire cat, the little kitten hopped lightly down onto his head before launching itself into Lily's lap. Grinning, she wiped her hands on her pants and rubbed them over the animal's sleek body. "See there? He must be a Gryffindor too. How'd you get away from that mean little doggy? Or did you make friends?"

The cat let out a soft noise that was halfway between a purr and a meow and her heart melted. Capturing its plump cheeks between her palms, she rubbed her nose against the kitten's and received a sandpapery lick. She looked up to find Dante giving the animal a dark look. "Damn cat."

"Don't listen to him, lovey," Lily admonished, cuddling the creature close. "He's just grumpy since he's lost and dirty."

Urging the animal up onto her shoulders to avoid the mud, Lily straightened carefully and moved over to hold out her hand to Dante with a warm smile. Perched precariously on her shoulder, the cat curled its tail around her neck and gave him a chiding mew. "We should get going."

"We never should have come here to begin with," he shot back petulantly. "That cat is probably just a stray that got into the castle."

"A little convenient for it to be in my apartments, don't you think?" Lily almost laughed at the insinuation, then stopped and glanced sharply at the cat. It couldn't be...

Drawing it down from her shoulder, she looked it full in the face. She knew Professor McGonagall could change into a cat at will. She was an animagus, a complicated achievement that took _years_ for exceptionally powerful witches and wizards to accomplish. As a cat, she had markings around her eyes that mimicked her glasses, but this cat had no such markings. It blinked at her innocently and she shook her head. She was being paranoid. There was no way James was an animagus. And even if he were, there was _no way_ in _hell_ he would be a cuddly little kitten. That just wasn't his style.

Satisfied, she let the creature climb back up and began to pick her way to more solid ground. Disgruntled by her cheer, Dante followed carefully after her. "So what's the plan, Lily?"

"Same as before," she replied buoyantly. "We have the cat, so now we find our way out of the forest and look for his owner."

"Brilliant," Dante groaned. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Lily shot him a sharp look. "Just jinx us now why don't you? You're even worse at adventures than I am!"

Shadowing close behind, the Scottish boy gave her a curious look. "What does that mean?"

"I've been told to leave the heroics to the heroes," she chuckled, reaching up to scratch the kitten's chin affectionately. "I guess he was right. I can't even rescue a cat."

As if to deny her words, the kitten rubbed its head tenderly into her cheek. In the next instant, his claws dug into her shoulder and he sprang away. A soft clicking noise sounded above her head and Dante stopped short. She didn't need to turn around to hear the fear in his hushed voice. "Lily... run!"

Before she could take a step, the black dog from before burst through the underbrush. It launched itself at her, sharp teeth flashing in its blood red maw and she dove to the ground to avoid it. Scrambling away, she flipped over to find the dog with its jaws locked around the bulbous head of the biggest spider she'd ever seen. Even more horrifying was two more arachnids, even larger than the first, repelling to the forest floor, cutting off Dante's escape.

"Lily go!" he shouted, reaching cautiously for his dropped wand.

She hit one of the beasts with a stunning spell, causing the other to spin like a top and hurl itself at her. With the dog taking care of the last spider, she felt at liberty to run for her life. Her skin crawled as the massive creature scuttled through the trees after her. She stumbled and bashed her shins on some rocks, but scrambled on as the spider clicked its pincers menacingly. She resisted the urge to look behind her, certain it would make her fall. Besides, she didn't need to look to know the spider was getting closer.

James seemed to melt out of the bushes directly in front of her, but she was going too fast to stop. She ran headlong into his chest, but he hardly took a step back as he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders and held out his wand. "_Stupefy!_"

The creature dropped heavily behind them and Lily sobbed in relief. Burying her head in his chest, she wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. She was so grateful for his sudden appearance that she didn't question his presence or even mind when he dropped his hand on her head.

"You are so _bloody_ hopeless, Evans," he chuckled. Furious clicking made him tense and he produced his broomstick out of nowhere.

"James-" she began to protest.

"Hold on!" he shouted, launching them into the air before either of them were astride.

They shot up through the trees and she grunted in pain as branches slapped her face. A hard jerk nearly dragged her back as her necklace caught on a limb, but it broke before it could choke her and they burst into the sunlight. Panicked, she tried to grab at the silver chain. James' arm around her waist hauled her back over his legs and he glared at her reprovingly. "What are you doing, you idiot?"

"My necklace!" she shouted.

"Merlin's beard, Evans! _Priorities!_" he cried furiously.

"But-"

"I'll get you a new one!" he snapped.

Tears flooded her eyes as she shook her head. "It was my mum's."

He sighed as he pushed her back onto the broomstick. She clutched the handle automatically as he gave her a look of long-suffering. "Just... hang on, Evans."

She couldn't begin to guess what he was about to do until he plunged feet first into the trees. Her stomach dropped with him as she gripped the broomstick. "_James!_"

There was no answer. The woods had gone dead silent. Her eyes scanned the canopy, waiting for his head to pop up with a condescending smile, but there was no hint of movement. Panic clawed at her throat. Before she knew what she was doing, she slung one leg over the broom and aimed for the spot she had last seen him. Instantly, the broom dropped down after him, but she was too terrified to be pleased.

She found him lying on his back in the dirt. His clothes were torn and bloody and his glasses had been knocked askew. Lily's heart nearly stopped as she lit on the ground beside him. "James?"

Letting out a low groan, he shifted. Her breath caught as he slowly pushed himself up on his elbows and grinned at her before holding up his hand. The silver locket dangled on its chain, winking in the sparse light. "Got it."

"You idiot!" she shouted furiously, falling to her knees beside him. "You could have been killed!"

"Who me?" he coughed as she put her arms around him to help him to his feet. "Nah. I'm too tough to let a few twigs get me down."

She just contained the urge to hit him. "I didn't mean for you to jump after it!"

"Yeah, in hindsight I probably should've used a summoning spell," he groaned, leaning heavily on her shoulder.

"You think?" she shot back incredulously.

"A simple thank you will do, Evans," he chuckled, hooking the trinket around her neck.

Biting her lip, she gave him a reproving look. "I'll thank you after we get out of here."

"Then you'll want to head back the other way," he advised blithely. She glanced at him sharply and he shrugged. "I have an unfailing sense of direction."

"Dante!" she gasped suddenly, twisting her head around.

"He'll be fine," James assured her dismissively.

"Oh! And the cat!" she remembered.

James frowned. "Not to be self-important or anything, but I _am_ bleeding. I'd like to think that's a bit more of a priority than a cat. Right turn."

She followed his instructions skeptically, feeling guilty. After a few moments of silent walking, she glanced up at his profile. "Sorry for getting you into this mess."

"Seems to be an occupational hazard," he murmured without looking at her. "You shouldn't have followed that damn cat in the first place."

The words so closely echoed Dante's sentiments that she couldn't help chuckling, but she stopped suddenly. "Wait. How did you know-?"

"I saw you," he filled in quickly. "Daft move, Evans. I really thought you were smarter than that. Don't know why, but-"

"Were you the cat?" she interrupted impatiently.

He gave her a snide glance. "Do I _look_ like a cat?"

"James-"

"What do you think of me, Evans?" he asked suddenly. "That I don't have anything better to do with my time than follow you around on your pathetic little dates?"

She frowned at his harsh tone. "Well maybe you should just ask me out if you hate it so much!"

He blinked in surprise at the suggestion before reaching up to rumple his hair and giving her a condescending look. "Sorry, Evans. I don't go for fat, bossy gingers."

"Well I don't go for stuffy, bookish Ravenclaws!" she shot back aggressively.

It took him a moment to realize that she hadn't just insulted him and he glanced at her uncomfortably. "Keep moving, Evans. My leg hurts. And I think I may have cracked a rib."

Her cheeks were burning a dull red as she closed her mouth with a hard snap. It had taken all of her remaining courage to be that honest with him. Once again, she couldn't help wondering if she was reading this entire situation wrong. How many times did he have to remind her that he didn't fancy her before it got through her thick skull, anyway?

With his directions, they were at the edge of the woods within minutes and his smug grin was almost painful. It was only slightly relieving to see Dante trudging wearily toward the castle in the distance, the great dog wagging its tail and loping cheerfully beside him. Biting her lip against a smile, Lily glanced up at James. "You really should return his shoes."

"Whose what now?" he asked with a predictably mischievous smirk.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Right. And I bet you don't know anything about his hiccups either?"

"How would I?" he replied innocently. After a moment, he gave a dramatic frown. "I thought you were going to thank me properly once I got you out of the woods."

Tamping down her irritation, she gave him her prettiest smile. "James, thank you very much for everything you've done to help me today including the things I didn't want you to do and don't know about yet."

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "Gee thanks Evans. Now I know what being a hero is all about."

"Well, I'd snog you, but I'm afraid you wouldn't accept kisses from a fat, bossy ginger," she said wryly.

"Maybe you could just bake me a nice cake or something," he shot back playfully.

Lily giggled and nodded in assent. Before she could take another step, however, James tightened his grip on her shoulders and swung her back against the nearest tree. He leaned over her with a predatory grin and she lifted her eyebrows at him. Her heart fluttered anxiously as he stooped to kiss her. So much for playing the wounded hero. He probably didn't even need her help to walk.

Blood rushed into her cheeks, but she didn't remain passive. Fisting her hands in his ragged shirt, she went up on tiptoe to kiss him back. She didn't have much experience with kissing, let alone doing it aggressively, so she did her best to mimic him. His lips curled in an approving smile, making her feel especially self-conscious. She retreated shyly and he grinned.

"That's my girl," he murmured affectionately, reaching up to touch her nose. "Never thought you had it in you."

She closed her eyes as he touched her, brushing his fingers over her cheek and back into her hair. Her heart was beating so fast she couldn't breathe. It felt so good that it hurt. "James, I l-"

"I've gotta go," he said abruptly, dropping his hands away from her like he had been burned. She looked up in time to see him walking away.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who is reading. It took me a while to post because I reworked the last chapter. Now it's fun! I truly hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I'll try to post again sometime this weekend. Thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

Every Sunday evening they had a compulsory meeting with the prefects. It was at this meeting that Lily noticed something was wrong. Under normal circumstances, James would be sitting uncomfortably close to her. It wasn't anything inappropriate, he just liked to rattle her cage by brushing against her whenever he moved and acting as though he didn't know what she was talking about when she confronted him. He'd been doing that since they became prefects, but not tonight.

This evening he was sitting with enough room to fit another person between them. She gave him a friendly smile and greeted him as usual. His eyes barely skirted over her before he turned back to his notes, looking for all the world like a student preparing for a test. In fact, if she didn't know very well that he never studied for anything, she probably wouldn't have thought anything of it and left him alone. As it was, she felt a sharp tug of confusion.

Clasping her hands between her knees, she frowned. "Hey James, I was wondering-"

"Alright, Abberly?" he greeted the Gryffindor prefect pleasantly. "How's your cat doing?"

The pretty brunette smiled. "He's fine. Thanks for finding him, James."

It didn't take much for her to connect the dots. She expected him to turn to her with a rakish grin, but he smiled genuinely at the younger girl instead. "It's my pleasure. What are you doing next weekend?"

Lily stared at him in surprise. What was he doing now? Was he really asking another girl out after kissing her earlier? "_James_-"

"Don't interrupt, Evans," he scolded with a withering look, "it's rude."

She blinked dumbly as he turned back to the younger girl with a charming grin, but that was just the beginning. At every opportunity over the next week, he would ignore her, insult her, and ridicule her. It was more than just teasing. He was being a real jerk and she had no idea why. All she knew was that by the end of a hellish week of this treatment, she was ready to cry.

Hanging back from the last class on Friday, Lily gave him a small smile. "Hey James, can we talk?"

"I'm busy, Evans," he said shortly. She didn't think he'd met her eyes all week. Even now, he kept his gaze fixed on the books he was shoving ruthlessly into his satchel.

"Well, don't you have a minute while we walk back to the dorm?" she pressed, trying hard to hide her vulnerability.

Hooking the bag over his shoulders, his eyes were aloof when he finally looked at her. "Like I said, I'm busy. Why don't you walk yourself back?"

"Have I done something to upset you?" she asked bluntly, trailing after him as he left the room.

"I'm just busy," he replied curtly.

She practically had to jog to keep up with him. "Busy with what?"

He didn't look at her as he dodged down a side hallway. "None of your business, you nosey cow."

"James _please_," she begged, trying to catch his hand and startled when he tore it away.

The look he gave her was cold as ice. "Just leave me alone, Evans. Don't be so familiar with me."

She couldn't move as he walked away. Her chest hurt, but she was too stubborn to cry. Hugging her arms around herself, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "You shouldn't make it so easy, Lily."

She nearly screamed as Sirius spoke out of nowhere. Jumping, she turned to find him leaning lackadaisically against the wall. Pushing himself upright, he scratched agitatedly behind his ear and smiled. "Godric, he knows just how to push your buttons."

"Can I help you, Sirius?" she asked in a soft, falsely patient voice.

"Actually, I'm here to help you," he told her with a grin.

Lily frowned at him. "You've never helped me before in my life."

"True," he nodded easily, "but this time helping you also helps my best mate. Don't think I haven't noticed what you've been up to, Evans. You've been a very busy girl this year. But I haven't said anything. Just like to watch, me."

He fell into step beside her as she started off toward her dormitory. She was fairly certain this was the first real conversation she had ever had with the handsome boy that didn't immediately deteriorate into name calling. "All right, Black. I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

"I can't tell you everything for obvious reasons," he said carefully, linking his long, slender fingers behind his neck and keeping his dark eyes fixed forward. "Strictly speaking, I shouldn't be talking to you about any of this, but I can't just stand by while my best mate puts himself through hell for no good reason, right?"

Lily's mind was whirring. Why couldn't he just come out and say what he meant? And if James was in pain... "What do you want me to do?"

"We'll start with something easy. You like him, right?" The hot flush that crept into her cheeks was all the answer he needed. Sirius grinned and held up his index finger. "Lesson one: James is most vulnerable when he's tired."

Biting her lip, she frowned at him. She wasn't quite sure where he was going with this, but it was already making her nervous. Catching her look, Sirius smiled. "This isn't a ploy just to get you to shag my friend, although if you ask me he could use it. Now... do you still have the blue nightgown?"

"Why do you know about my nightgowns?" she asked skeptically.

They had arrived at their apartment and Sirius gallantly held the door for her with a devilish flick of his eyebrows. "It's his favorite. And be sure to leave your hair down. In fact, you might want to take a bath. Use the soap that smells of roses."

"Sirius-"

"And touch his hair, if you can. He likes that," he told her bluntly. "Let's see... what else?"

"Sirius," she tried again.

"Trust me, Lily," he said sincerely. "I'd wager I know Prongs better than anyone. With my help, he'll be putty in your hands. "

"This doesn't feel very honest," she admitted uncomfortably.

Sirius only chuckled as he led her to her room. "Oh, you people and your consciences. Glad I've never had one. Perfect!" He had been rummaging through her things without hesitation and handed over the nightgown he had been looking for with a grin. "Now, be quick about it and go take a bath. Prongs is seeing to some business, but he'll be back in about an hour. Wait thirty minutes after he gets back and go to his room. Tell him you had a nightmare."

"What will this accomplish?" she asked unhappily as he rushed her into the bathroom.

"You'll thank me later," he assured her cheerfully. "Now, I've got to go before Prongs comes in. Just do as I say, Lily. It'll all turn out."

She hugged him impulsively. She still wasn't sure what was going on, but he was definitely trying and she needed all the help she could get. "Thanks, Sirius."

Leaning back, he grinned. "You're good for Prongs, Lily. He needs someone around to remind him that the world isn't as terrible as it seems."

Of course this sort of thing only confused her more. What was he talking about? He wasn't going to be that honest with her. That much she knew. Even as he tapped her nose and headed off with an enigmatic smile. So she sighed, shook her head, and went to take the bath he had prescribed.

As a general rule, outside of classes and Quidditch, she had no ideas about James' schedule. He pretty much came and went as he pleased. She didn't even know how he conveniently popped up when she needed him. Like earlier. How had he known she was in the woods? How had he even _found_ her inside that labyrinth, let alone showing up in the nick of time to save the day? Sometimes she wondered... Then her head would begin to hurt.

Just as Sirius had predicted, James arrived a little over an hour later and went straight to his room. Her stomach was tied up in knots. What was she doing? What did she expect to happen? For the life of her she couldn't figure out why she was choosing to trust Sirius Black. She only hoped that she didn't regret it in the morning.

She received no answer when she knocked on James' door, so she cautiously slipped inside. She could hear him breathing, but it wasn't peaceful. He sounded restless and, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see him tossing and turning. Without warning, he shot up in bed, his wand trained on her with deadly accuracy despite his lack of glasses.

"Im sorry! You didn't answer when I knocked," she announced breathlessly.

Hearing her voice, James sighed and lowered his wand. Rubbing his palm against his forehead, he leaned back to pick up his glasses from the nightstand. His hands were shaking slightly and she couldn't help noticing that he was sweating. "Go back to your room."

She hadn't expected him to sound so angry. It made her feel like her tongue was tied up in knots. Ignoring her nerves, she took a step forward. "James, are you-?"

"Get out of here, Evans!" he shouted, his eyes snapping so hard that she jumped and backed out with her heart in her throat.

She was just about to run to her room when she stopped. Something was definitely wrong. James had never yelled at her before. She'd never seen him look so out of sorts. Against her better judgment, she went to the bathroom and got a cool cloth. Taking a steadying breath, she returned to James' room and sat beside him on the bed. He was hunched over with his head in his hands, so she daubed the cloth gingerly on his neck.

Pressing her lips together, she fought to think of something helpful to say. "I... um... a nightmare-"

"Don't be daft, Evans. I didn't have a nightmare," he growled, rubbing the back of his head and glaring at the floor.

"I dreamed I was turning into a werewolf," she said quickly.

His sharp look pierced her like a needle, but she kept her eyes straight forward. When he spoke, his voice was soft and gentle. "You had a bad dream?"

She nodded. "It was awful."

After a moment he sat up and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Tell me about it."

Her eyes were skeptical as she glanced at him. "Are you sure? It was really scary."

Chuckling, he pulled her across his lap. "I think I can handle it."

"Well, I knew I'd been bitten, so I could only watch as the full moon rose over the school. All at once I started feeling different. I went to the bathroom," she explained haltingly, "and when I looked in the mirror, I had sprouted a great bushy mustache-"

James burst out laughing, but she kept a stern face. "Oh my god, Evans. You really had me going for a minute there."

"That's not even the scariest part!" she protested.

"Don't ruin it," he chuckled, "that was actually funny."

Grinning, she continued: "I tried to shave it, but-"

"Stop! You're boring me now," he laughed, hugging her close to his chest.

Leaning her chin on his shoulder, she reached up to pat his head. He squeezed her tighter all of a sudden and she frowned. "James?"

"Just stay still for a minute, Lily," he murmured softly. His breath tickled as he turned his face into her neck, making her cheeks grow warm. "I'm feeling a little off right now."

He inhaled deeply and her skin prickled at the sensation. Before she knew it, he reached up with his free hand to twist his fingers into her hair. Biting her lip, she put her arms around his shoulders. "James...?"

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" he asked suddenly.

The question brought her up short. James didn't show his weaknesses. He rarely asked her for anything. Caught off guard, she hesitated only a moment before nodding. "Sure."

Author's Note: Short chapter, but it's fun. I've never had Sirius be helpful before, but I watched A Very Potter Sequel this week and realized that Sirius is the absolute best. I hope you all liked it and look forward to the next chapter. If all goes well, I'll post again within a day or so.


	13. Chapter 13

James was gone by the time she woke up the next morning. With a twinge she realized she didn't know if he'd had any more nightmares. As a general rule it took her longer to fall asleep, but she slept like the dead once she'd managed. From what she'd seen of James, he went to sleep quickly and wake to any slight noise or movement. She supposed it was a byproduct of spending four years in the dorms with some of the most notorious pranksters in history. Still, she was disappointed. She had planned on trying to talk to him.

Frustrated, she got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Alice and Frank met her in the hallway, both also being early risers. Grinning at their clasped hands, Lily couldn't help cheering up a little at the sight of them. They chatted pleasantly as they continued on to the Great Hall for their meal. As some of the first students to arrive, they settled in quickly to eat.

"How'd it go with Annabelle?" Lily asked before taking a bite of her omelette. Something stiff and leathery tucked into the eggs made her pause. Raising her napkin, she spat it out. It was a neatly folded bit of parchment that had no place in her breakfast. Picking it out of the eggs, she looked around curiously. She turned back to find Frank and Alice watching her blankly.

"So... why is there a note in your eggs?" Alice asked carefully.

Licking her lips, Lily gingerly unfolded the soggy parchment and lowered her voice. "Um, we now have a man on the inside."

"What?" Frank and Alice exclaimed in unison. She couldn't blame them. A Marauder defection was pretty much unthinkable. Even she wasn't certain why Sirius was helping her. The message, however, was enough to send her into a panic.

Meet me in the owlery in ten minutes.

"I have to go," she announced, abruptly pushing up from the table. Her friends stared at her in surprise, but the tower was too far away for her to linger. Grimacing painfully, she scrambled for her things and raced for the door. "I swear I'll explain everything as soon as I can."

She had to run to make it to the tower in time. Panting and exhausted, she glared at Sirius who had conveniently arrived before her. His look was none-too-friendly as he pushed himself away from the window. "What the hell, Lily?"

"I think I could ask you the same thing," she shot back heatedly.

"I gave you a perfect opportunity and you spent an entire night _sleeping_?" he cried irritably. "Exactly how hopeless are you?"

Glaring as she leaned her back against the door, she said, "Just what did you think I would do? And why is James angry with me in the first place?"

"Okay, let's get this straight: he's not cross, he's stupid. Please try to keep up," Sirius sighed, rubbing his forehead as though he had a headache. Lily was feeling one of her own starting, but she took a calming breath and crossed her arms over her chest to keep her irritation inside. After a moment, he began to pace. "I will admit that wasn't the best plan. I was in a bit of a rush and Prongs is usually the one who does the planning. Prongs and Remus. They can come up with the best plans in under a minute, but I'm-"

"Sirius!" she warned. She couldn't allow him to get off topic at this point.

He stopped talking abruptly and turned to stare. After a moment, he pointed at her. "You tried to tell him you fancied him."

She bit her lip painfully. She hadn't thought James had heard her erstwhile confession. "So?"

"_So_ you should never, ever tell someone you fancy them," Sirius told her belligerently. "It makes you look like an idiot and in Prongs' case it made him panic."

"Well, that's just silly," she scoffed.

He gave her a hard look. "_That_ happens to be the exact reason that James is being such a right bastard. Really, Evans, whatever possessed you?"

"Just naïve, I guess," she replied wryly. "So what do we do now?"

"How do you feel about deliberately putting yourself in danger?" he asked suddenly.

"Not great," she said shortly.

Sirius went on without seeming to hear her. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he mused, "Of course, knowing you we wouldn't have to do much more than wait around for a freak accident. You can't seem to keep yourself out of trouble these days. Very unlike you, Lily. Well done."

"Sirius!"

"Lesson two:" he announced, holding up his fingers, "Prongs hates when you're upset. He will do whatever he can to keep you from getting hurt. He can't stand it when you cry, but it's the absolute worst when _other_ people make you cry. Remember second year when Peter got punched in the face for showing off your knickers?"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "That was you."

"Doesn't matter," he barreled on quickly. He reached up to dig his fingers into his thick mane and frowned, tugging gently. "Prongs hasn't said much to me. He's not been talking to anyone lately, which is always dangerous. Never, ever let him think things through on his own or he's certain to overreact."

Starting her own pacing, Lily hugged herself nervously, wondering what exactly he was getting at. Talking to Sirius always made her head hurt since he rarely got to the point and never in a straight line. Shaking her head, she tried to comprehend his words. "So he's overreacting about my confession?"

"He thinks you'll get hurt if he lets you get too close to him," he finally admitted. "Hasn't been a problem before now because we didn't think you fancied him. He thought he could just hold out until graduation. Figured it was only a matter of time with him on the case..." He paused and rubbed a finger under his nose, giving her the distinct impression that he was _not_ telling her something important. "Then, you went and bungled it. It's gotten worse lately, but he's absolutely convinced that someone will try to harm you. It's the same for us, but he knows we can look after ourselves. You, on the other hand-"

"Why?"

The young man's handsome face twisted unhappily. "I don't know. He won't tell me."

"Is someone threatening him?" she asked anxiously.

"Lily, I don't know," Sirius said desperately. "I've tried to ask, to pin him down, but he's being extremely evasive. You think you know him, but I promise you do not know him as well as I do. James is special. He's brilliant. I've never met anyone like him. Everything he does, he does for a reason. I've not known him to be afraid of anything."

"He's having nightmares," Lily confided softly. "He was terrified when I went into his room last night. He nearly attacked me."

Sirius nodded as if that meant something to him. "And then there's that business with his bogart. Something's got him in a right state and he's worried you'll die because of it."

Lily bit her lip in surprise and turned toward the window. She had almost convinced herself that she'd imagined the bogart. After all, it was a bit self-important to think that his worst fear was her death. What kind of teenager thought of things like that anyway?

Keeping her back to him, she asked, "What do I do, Sirius? I trust James. I trust his judgment. Perhaps it would be best if I just backed off."

She heard him sigh. "I've already meddled too much according to Remus."

That was unexpected. She turned to give him a curious look. "So, the others know you're helping me?"

"Just Remus, but he already caught me so there wasn't much use lying," he told her softly. "He's promised not to say anything, but he does not approve. Then again, he doesn't have a problem with Prongs' self-sacrificing bullshit, either."

Taking a deep breath, she turned her back to the window and leveled him with a nervous frown. "Why are you helping me, Sirius?"

"Because I'm convinced you're the only thing in this bloody black world that can make him happy," Sirius admitted with feeling. The look he gave her was piercing. "Whether he knows it or not, Prongs needs happiness. If he pushes you away, there's nothing left. Nothing but darkness and rage. Anyone would go mad with only the bogey man for company."

Footsteps on the stairs brought an abrupt halt to their conversation. While Sirius beat a hasty retreat, Lily dug a letter for her father out of her pocket and turned to collect an owl to post it. They didn't need to be worried since it was only a first year, but she knew the wisdom in not being seen together. It could prompt uncomfortable questions.

With her letter sent, she skipped quickly down the stairs to find her friends. She'd only made it halfway when she ran into Severus Snape. Her stomach jumped at the sight of him. Their paths didn't cross often these days. Especially not outside of class. She expected him to walk straight past, so she was surprised when he paused and looked at her. "What are you doing up here, Evans?"

"I was sending an owl," she replied honestly. She frowned thoughtfully, fighting to keep her voice neutral as she stepped toward him. "Am I not allowed to be here?"

His dark eyes flicked away from her straightforward gaze, roaming the empty hallway restlessly. "You're Head Girl. You can go wherever you like."

She tilted her head at him curiously. There were no clubs on this level. No reason for him to be up here either. It was a little suspicious. "What are you doing here, Sev?"

"None of your business," he replied shortly. He brushed past her impatiently and she felt a twinge of irritation. He spoke up without turning. "You'd do well to watch yourself, Evans. Don't wander off alone."

She turned to watch him stalk away in surprise. "What does that mean? Severus? Are you threatening me?"

All at once, he stopped and turned. She couldn't read his expression as he looked at her over his shoulder. "Not me, Evans. There are far darker beasties at Hogwarts these days. Just... be careful." A nasty, pinched look crossed his face. He looked like he was about to choke as he admonished, "It'd be best if you stuck close to Potter and his gang."

Stunned, she nodded. "Thanks, Sev."

He turned away without another word and disappeared down a side hall. Lily stared after him, completely nonplussed. He hadn't spoken to her in so long. Nothing for more than a year, and now this? Did that mean he cared if she was safe? That he knew something was about to happen? Her stomach jumped at the thought. Something terrible? At Hogwarts?

She knew that she wasn't the most aware of current events in the wizarding world. It was all so dark. So terrifying. She wasn't the only one who had stopped reading the paper. Only now, for the first time, she began to wonder what she had been missing. If it was important. Not that she could do anything about it. She was just a girl. Hardly important. What could she possibly do?

She was still musing when she arrived in the library. The first person she saw was Dante. She had a friendly smile prepared for him, but he turned away the moment he spotted her. On the bright side, he seemed to have lost his hiccups, but he'd been avoiding her all week.

Biting her lip, she shelved her feelings and moved past in search of her friends. She didn't blame him. The Forbidden Forest was an intense crucible for a date and not many people had much of a stomach for nearly dying. Maybe she was just a bit dense, but it didn't bother her nearly so much. Instead of worrying about what could have been, she felt lucky to have survived.

_"Lily!" _

Alice's hushed whisper drew her out of her reverie, making her stop to look around. The petite blonde motioned to her from between the stacks and she crossed quickly to meet her. Perhaps she was in too much of a hurry. As she passed a table crowded with Slytherins, something snagged on her foot. Her breath caught as she stumbled, but she managed to keep her balance. She glanced at the other students, but no one had noticed. Their heads were studiously bent over their books. Looking up, Alice met her eyes with a curious smile.

"What is it, Lily?" she asked gently.

Lily shook her head with a small smile. "Nothing. I tripped."

"What's going on?" Alice hissed, catching her hand and dragging her toward the back shelves where they could speak unobserved by the hawklike librarian, Madame Pince. "What happened with Sirius?"

Biting her lip, she shook her head. The conversation was such a mixed up jumble. More than half of it was guesswork. And with her mind muddled by Severus' warning, she hardly knew what to think. Putting up her hand, she trailed her fingers calmly over the spines of the books to avoid her eyes. "Um... where's Frank?"

Sighing, Alice rolled her eyes. "He had a thing. Dueling or something. Don't think you can dodge the question, Lily."

"Dueling?" she repeated with a hard jolt of alarm.

"You were busy and he thought it would be best if someone kept an eye on James," she explained with an impatient wave of her hand.

"James? What is James doing?" Lily asked anxiously, giving her friend a sharp look.

Alice shrugged, seeing that they clearly weren't going to get very far with Lily running so furiously off topic. Tugging her braid unhappily, she admitted, "James made an announcement about supplementary dueling lessons after you left. He got the whole thing approved by Beetle. Loads of kids signed up."

"When?" she asked sharply.

The smaller girl shook her head. "Sometime this morning."

"I think I'll go check the defense room, just to be safe," Lily said with a worried frown.

Catching her hand, Alice pulled her up short. "Lily, you don't need to-"

"It's fine, Alice," she assured her quickly. "They'll need an adult around to keep things from getting out of hand."

"I thought that was why Frank went," Alice argued, practically skipping to keep up as Lily hurried through the stacks.

She gave her friend a wry grin as they burst out into the hallway. "Just a precaution. I mean, it's not like any of the teachers ever really know what the hell is going on with them..."

"It freaks you out that you didn't know anything about it, right?" Alice guessed astutely.

"More than a little bit," she admitted tersely, stepping up her gait so that she was nearly jogging when she hit the stairs.

The lesson was already well underway by the time she arrived and she was surprised to find that James was taking the whole thing very seriously. Most of the students were girls, but it was a good group with smatterings from every house and year. Divided into pairs, they were practicing simple deflection spells while some older students moved around to give them pointers. Frank was one of the impromptu instructors and he gave the girls a cheerful wave as they entered.

Sitting up on the desk like the Thinker with his chin in his hand, James watched the proceedings with a thoughtful expression. His eyes flicked over them as they entered, but he seemed less than interested in his tardy pupils as he stood languidly. "Good work, everyone. A simple shielding charm is one of the most basic spells to master, but very important. Now, who can tell me the incantation for a disarming spell?"

"_Expelliarmus!_"

His wand came up, blocking the spell easily and he turned to grin at Flora Stewart, a seventh year Ravenclaw. She was a very pretty girl with short black hair and a bewitching smile that made Lily want to swear. "Very good, Stewart, now the most important thing to remember..."

Alice squeezed her hand and tugged her out to a clear space beside some giggling fourth years. Feeling keenly embarrassed, Lily reluctantly withdrew her wand, but was surprised when James dropped his hand firmly on her shoulder. "No, this definitely won't work. Benton, if you wouldn't mind joining Mr. Longbottom and the others instructing the younger students? Evans, I'd say Doge is more your speed for a partner."

He pushed her in the direction of an adorable blonde first year with enormous brown eyes and a thick Hufflepuff scarf wound around his neck, even though it was quite warm inside the classroom. In fact, he was bundled up so that he looked more like a teddy bear than a child. With his red face and bulging arms, she worried he might faint if he tried any spells.

Swallowing her irritation with James, she gave the boy a warm smile and knelt in front of him. "Hi there. I'm Lily. What's your name?"

"A-a-angus," the little boy stuttered, his already red face going purple with nerves.

Keeping her tone gentle, she asked, "Are you sick, Angus?"

He gave a little jump before laboriously shaking his head. "N-no!"

"Did you think dressing in layers would help protect you from spells?" she asked curiously, smiling when the boy nodded. Taking a breath, she began to unbutton his heavy overcoat. "Well, Angus, spells don't work like punches. They could go right through your clothes. The best defense is to be quick on your feet. You need to be able to move freely. I'm sure you'll think a lot better, too, if you're not so hot. A clear mind is very important when you're fighting. Now, how did you do with the shielding charm?"

"Not great," he admitted bashfully as she unwound his scarf and set it aside.

He watched her with worshipful eyes as she straightened and backed up a few paces. Holding out her wand, she grinned at him. "Why don't we try it again?"

She was so caught up in helping the young boy that she lost track of the rest of the class. So she didn't see James watching her with a bemused smile. Or the looks ranging from irritation to pity that she was receiving from some of the other girls as she threw a few gentle tickling charms his way.

"Excellent, Angus!" she praised him as he managed to deflect her third straight "attack." The little boy could only blush and fidget beneath her adulation, the stars in his eyes clear evidence of a blossoming infatuation. "Now why don't you try to disarm me? Do remember the incantation?"

His head bobbed eagerly and she couldn't help grinning. He was just too cute! She'd have to remember to thank James for giving her such an adorable partner. Far from a punishment, she was probably enjoying herself more than she would have with Alice. Then again, it was easier to focus on someone weaker than herself.

"Make sure to give your wand a good flick," she reminded him as he tried the incantation with no results. Before she could say anything else, however, a strong spell from behind knocked her off her feet. She toppled head over heels before landing hard on her back. Stars burst before her eyes as her wand clattered on the ground several feet away.

Giggles burst from the girls around her before Flora teased, "You should learn to watch your back, Evans. This is defense, after all."

"Five points from Ravenclaw," James called lazily, giving her a bored look as he hopped down from the teacher's desk. "Try not to attack the weaker students, Stewart."

His hands fluttering in panic, Angus rushed to her side to help her into a seated position. Fortunately, she was too focused on her partner to notice Sirius' self-satisfied smirk or the way he caught Alice's arm to keep her from going to help. Though she felt admittedly hazy, she gave the boy a reassuring smile. Her hand shook only a little as she reached up to touch his cheek. "I'm fine, Angus. Sorry if I scared you. Are you alright?"

Bordering on tears, the little boy nodded. Rubbing his hair thoughtfully, James called everyone to attention with his easy authority. "All right, then, everyone. I think that's enough for today. For next week, practice an offensive spell that you think you can get past me. Winner gets a special prize..."

This announcement elicited an undue amount of excitement from the girls, who immediately broke out in feverish chatter as they speculated on what the prize might be. They were so enthusiastic that the room cleared out within minutes. Head throbbing painfully, Lily remained still until James approached.

"I'm fine," she murmured without looking at him.

"Well, you look like you're about to be sick," he said frankly. Bending down, he lifted her easily into his arms. She would have fought him, but the room was suddenly spinning in a very disconcerting manner.

Gritting her teeth against a wave of nausea, she took a deep breath before looking up at him. "I'm fine, James."

Ignoring her, he moved over to set her gingerly on the teacher's desk. After frowning into her face, he hooked a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face into his chest. "You're bleeding again. Merlin's beard, Evans, you're such a klutz."

She bit her tongue against the urge to defend herself as he pulled her hair out of its ponytail and combed his fingers through to look for the wound. A hard gasp escaped her when he pressed his fingers into a sore spot and she felt a twinge of irritation as he chuckled. "Gotcha."

"James... that's really- Ow!" She tried to pull away, but he kept her face fixed into his chest so that she wasn't sure if he was trying to heal her or smother her.

"You're so useless, Evans," he continued as he finished the spell and reached over her back to pull up her blouse.

"Gah! Stop that!" She tried to fight him off, but his arms were like steel bands fixing her in place as he mercilessly prodded her bruised skin.

"What? You think I'm actually enjoying this?" he joked as he pulled her shirt over her head, pinning her arms at an awkward angle. "Believe me, Evans, I can think of a thousand better ways to spend my afternoon than examining your bony white body. Do you _ever_ tan? I feel like I'll go blind looking directly at it-"

She let out a strangled shriek as his fingers smoothed under her bra strap.

"I'm doing this because I'm your teacher, Evans. Like it or not, you and your clumsiness are my responsibility," he went on in a condescending tone.

Grinding her teeth, she tried to wriggle free, heedless of the way her shirt was rising higher on her tummy. "James... that's not... Let me _go!_"

She gasped as he released her and she began to topple backwards off the desk. In a flash, he caught her, gripping her arms and pulling her up short as he straddled her knees. Her cheeks flushed as he hooked one arm around her waist and leaned over her, his nose close enough to brush against hers as his hair fell into his eyes. "Such a troublesome student. I'm only trying to look after you. You should apologize."

Her mouth went dry as she stared at him. "I- I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry... what?" he baited playfully, smoothing his hand over her bare skin in a way that made her squirm.

"Sorry... _professor!_" she gasped, kicking vainly as he tickled her.

"That's what I thought." His smug grin was almost painful as he pulled her gingerly upright and released her. In a motion that was as smooth as breathing, he hopped to the ground and headed for the door. "Try to stay out of trouble, Evans. I don't have all day to follow you around, you know."

Irritation burned up inside of her as she watched him leave. Balling her hands at her sides, she shouted, "James Potter, I hate you!"

His laughter echoed in the hallway as he headed for the stairs. "I know!"

Author's Note: Hooray! It's finished! It took me forever, but I really like this chapter. I hope the rest of you do as well. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! I'll try to update soon!


	14. Chapter 14

Lily had never considered herself a clumsy person. She had accidents like everyone else, but she wasn't particularly prone to hurting herself. And she was meticulous. It wasn't like her to lose track of things or miss assignments. So she couldn't understand how these things kept happening. It seemed as though every time she was out of her dorm, she'd trip or fall out of a chair or knock something over. And she was losing _everything_. She'd lost track of the number of times she'd misplaced her homework. Books, quills, and other personal items continuously vanished. It drove her to distraction.

On the other hand, James had pretty much gone back to normal. Well, what was normal for him. He'd tease her and say harsh things like before. Things to hurt her feelings and make her cry. Only now he didn't follow her. He didn't kiss her and make things better. In fact, it was becoming obvious that he was deliberately holding her at arm's length.

Besides her stress with James and school, another problem was building: She hadn't heard from her dad since the beginning of the year. More worrying was that the letters she had sent to him started to come back unopened. At first she had assumed it was some sort of mistake. Maybe he'd just been out or the owl couldn't find him. But it had been several weeks and the owls to her father and her sister had returned with startling regularity. When she heard about a Muggle attack in Edinburgh, well, she became frantic.

"Lily, I'm sure it's nothing," Alice assured her as she searched fruitlessly for her Charms homework. It was Friday during lunch and she had misplaced it for the third time already.

"I don't like it, Alice," she sighed from her position on the floor. She had thought that maybe the scroll had rolled under one of the desks but... "And there's no one else I can contact. What if something terrible has happened to them? The Prophet said-"

"You only read that _this _week," Alice sighed as she rose empty handed and dusted her knees. "If something had happened, it would have been nearly a month ago. You haven't heard from him since we came, right?"

Gnawing impatiently on her lower lip, Lily chose not to respond. She knew that she was grasping at straws, but she was really worried. She finally found her homework stuffed between two books on the top shelf of a bookcase she hadn't been near all year. She was certain that she didn't put it there. Was James teasing her again? Was making her fail his idea of a joke?

"Gotcha," she murmured, tugging the parchment out of its hiding place.

A noise at the door distracted her. As she turned to look, the chair she had been using to reach the high shelf wobbled and she gasped as she fell backward. She probably would have gotten hurt if Alice hadn't been there to cushion the fall. Unfortunately, she wasn't strong enough to actually catch her and both girls tumbled harmlessly to the floor.

"Oops! Sorry Alice," Lily apologized quickly. "Are you okay?"

"I forgot I wasn't the knight in shining armor type," the petite blond giggled, shoving Lily gently to get her off her lap. Frowning, she glanced toward the door. "Only, did you see those Slytherins in the hallway just now? They seemed like they were up to something..."

The bell for class rang before she could answer. "Oh! I didn't realize it was so late!"

She grabbed Alice by the arm and tugged her to her feet before both girls sprinted to get to class. They had just reached the door when Lily was hit from behind by a leg-binding curse. She uttered a soft cry as her legs snapped together, her forward momentum causing her to overbalance.

James was there before she could hit the ground. She didn't know where he'd come from, but couldn't help being grateful to him for sparing her more skinned knees. She'd had more than her fair share of those in the past few weeks. Unfortunately, the moment she was in his arms, he threw her gracelessly over his shoulder and spun, shooting a deadly bat bogey hex at a tardy fourth year.

"Potter! What are you doing?" tiny Professor Flitwick cried in outrage as he scrambled down from his stack of books. "Attacking students in my class-"

James ignored the small man's tirade as he undid the curse and set Lily gently on her feet. Putting a hand to her head, she smiled and was about to thank him when he gave her a furious glare. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Evans?"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Flitwick called in outrage, wagging his finger at James.

Confused, Lily frowned at him. "Me? What did I do?"

"Gods, you are so _fucking_ useless!" James continued to rant. "It's a wonder you can even feed yourself, you helpless cow"

"Thirty points from Gryffindor!"

Lily's temper flared under his censure, the last few week's stresses causing her to finally snap. "It's not like I _meant_ for that to happen! Why are you yelling at me?"

"Exactly!" he shouted back, raking his hand furiously through his hair. "You can't even defend yourself against the most elementary attacks! How do you expect to survive outside of school?"

"What? You think I'll die the moment I'm away from you?" she retorted heatedly, taking an angry step toward him.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor!" Flitwick bellowed, standing between them to push them apart. The angry couple stared at him blankly. "In all my years I have _never_ seen such a disregard for propriety! And from the Head Boy and Girl... Both of you- to your seats! This instant! And if I hear another peep out of either one of you, I'll have you in detention so fast your heads will spin! Yes, you too Miss Evans! I am very disappointed."

"But Professor-" Alice tried to explain.

"Not a word, Benton!" Flitwick interrupted, clearly pushed beyond his limit.

Lily moved quickly to her desk, feeling completely ashamed. She liked Professor Flitwick. He had mentored her since she had arrived at Hogwarts, helping anytime with homework or spells. He was part of the reason she'd joined the charms club and the choir. He was probably a big part of her academic success. She was one of his favorites and he had never had to discipline her. Before today. She glared at James, who made a good show of pretending not to notice.

She was still worked up when she left class. It was her intent to go straight to her room, but James was obviously headed the same way. Wanting to avoid another fight, she opted to go outside. The weather was noticeably cooler than it had been earlier and it had been raining most of the week, but Lily didn't mind. She had her temper to keep her warm as she stalked down the muddy path toward the bridge. She was so consumed by her thoughts that she nearly screamed when an owl glided silently past her face.

She stopped short when recognized it as the one she had sent with the last letter for her sister a few days earlier. It lit cautiously on her arm, looking weary and rumpled as it held out the familiar scroll on its leg. Lily's stomach clenched. "I'm sorry for sending you out for no reason."

The bird clacked its beak impatiently and she took the scroll. It took off toward the tower without hesitation and Lily watched it go before noticing Alice trailing nervously behind her. Forcing a smile, she waved. "Bad news?"

"No news," she replied as the smaller girl approached. She looked so nervous that it made Lily wonder if she was being unintentionally intimidating. Gritting her teeth, she crushed the scroll in her hand. "Alice, I need you to cover for me."

"What? Why?" Alice asked cautiously.

"Just for the weekend. If anyone asks, tell them I'm not feeling well," Lily instructed, turning abruptly back to the castle.

"Lily, what are you-?"

"Please, Alice," she begged, rounding on the smaller girl with tears in her eyes. "I need to know what's going on."

Biting her lip, Alice searched her face before nodding reluctantly. "Just... be careful. You could be expelled for leaving school without permission."

"I know, but none of the teachers would give permission for me to leave on my own," Lily pointed out in a low voice as they entered the courtyard.

Thankfully, her friend kept quiet as they made their way to her room. She knew this was foolish, but she was desperate. Dad... Petunia... what if they were both-? She couldn't think of it. Couldn't consider the possibility.

James was nowhere to be seen when she entered their common room, but that suited her just fine. She didn't want to see him right now. He was such an arrogant bastard. Who yelled at someone that got hurt anyway? Like it was her fault! Fuming internally, she shoved some things into a bag before moving to change. Alice watched her silently, clearly nervous.

As if she could read her mind, Alice asked, "What about James?"

"What about him?" she replied sullenly.

"He'll know you're not sick," she pointed out reasonably.

"Like he'll even care. Despite what _he_ thinks, James Potter doesn't need to know every little thing I do," Lily snapped, viciously dragging on her jacket before hooking her bag over her shoulders. Seeing Alice's wry look, she winced apologetically. "Sorry, Alice. He's just such a pain."

"True," Alice agreed easily, moving over to give her a hug. After a moment, she stepped back. "Be carefully, Lily. This is a really bad idea."

Lily's lips quirked into a mirthless smile as she threw her cloak over everything. "Thanks for the vote of confidence. You think I'm hopeless without him around to take care of me too, don't you?"

Alice giggled uncomfortably. "Well, you have to admit he has his uses."

"I don't want to think about that right now," she said wearily. Biting her lip, she caught and squeezed Alice's hand. "Wish me luck."

"Are you sure you're not doing this because you're mad at him?" Alice asked suddenly. "I mean, it's not like you to rush into things."

A twinge of nerves made her pause, but Lily quickly shoved it away. She'd be fine. And besides, this was important. It wasn't like she was just doing this to show James that she wasn't completely useless. She was only thinking of her family. Biting her lip, she gave Alice a stern look. "Absolutely not. I don't care what James says. I just need to be sure that my family is alright."

Reluctantly, Alice let her go. James had kidnapped her once using the secret passageway that led into Honeyduke's cellar, so she went that route to get out of the castle unnoticed. Once she was in Hogsmede, she purchased a ticket on the next train to Edinburgh and headed out, feeling sick with adventure. In spite of her nerves, no one assumed she was a student. She was honestly surprised that everything had turned out so easily.

"Well, well, well... what have we here?"

Shit. She looked up to find a trio of boys that were obviously a few years older than her filing into the compartment. A boy with spiky brown hair and a hooked nose took a seat beside her, draping his arm over the seat at her back. "Hey there, lovely. Going my way?"

Lily kept her eyes riveted on her book, forcing herself to remain calm. "Isn't that a bit of a silly question to ask someone on a train?"

The boys laughed as though she had said something funny. Leaning close on her other side, a boy who was obviously working too hard for his scraggly beard caught a strand of her hair and curled it around his finger. "So what's your name? Are you here alone?"

"I'd thank you to leave my niece alone," a man called as he pushed open the compartment door. Lily glanced up in surprise to find that he was a young man, probably in his late twenties, with a thatch of carrot-red hair and admittedly shabby attire. In spite of his appearance, he glared the boys down boldly and Lily felt a rush of relief.

"We're not looking for any trouble, man," the third boy grumbled aggressively.

The stranger raised an eyebrow at him. "When I catch three boys ganging up on one girl, I tend to disagree. I wonder what my friends at the Ministry would say about it. What did you say your names were?"

Of course, mention of the Ministry was enough to clear the boys out. Lily smiled as the man took a seat across from her. "Thank you so much!"

"It's my pleasure," he said with a pleasant grin. "My name is Arthur. Arthur Weasley."

Lily introduced herself shyly. "Do you really work for the Ministry?"

Arthur smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I do. Only, I work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department, so unless they've got some shrinking keys or something on them, I haven't got much jurisdiction. But I can write one hell of an angry letter."

She tilted her head at him curiously as he pulled out what appeared to be a perfectly normal swiss army knife and began tinkering with the attachments. Catching the look, he rubbed his short hair ruefully. "Ingenious the things Muggles dream up, don't you think? There's no end to their creativity. I've got a nice collection of their gadgets and gismos back home. My wife says I'm mad, but there you are."

Giggling, she asked him about his wife. He told her about his Molly, his eyes lighting tenderly as he spoke of her and his three children. Lily loved kids and she was fascinated by the man's story. His description of their funny home and the way he went on about the car her was restoring made her smile. Within an hour, she began to relax.

"I really shouldn't pry, but what's a pretty young girl like you doing traveling by herself?" Arthur asked after offering her a corned beef sandwich. "These are dangerous times to be on your own, Miss Evans."

Lily flushed self-consciously. She had never been a very good liar, and she felt doubly guilty since he was being so kind. "I think my family may be in trouble, so I'm going to check on them."

That was true enough. Arthur frowned in concern. "By trouble, do you mean-?"

"All of my owls keep coming back untouched," she admitted quietly, reaching up to twist her hair around her finger. "That's not normal, is it?"

"I should say not," Arthur agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He gave her a measuring look. "You're not a student, are you?"

Her mouth went dry as she shook her head. "N-no!"

To her surprise, the older man only chuckled. "You're a terrible liar, Miss Evans. It's refreshing in this day and age. Let me guess... Gryffindor?"

She nodded uncomfortably, but he grinned. "Well, I can't pretend that I approve, but I understand. I was a Gryffindor myself when I attended Hogwarts. And Molly. Gosh, that must've been ten years ago now. I was a bit of a scamp in my time. I remember once during my fifth year when my mates and I rigged up a whole load of dung bombs to go off in the library during the OWLs examinations. Molly nearly killed me for that one."

Lily smiled. She supposed things never really changed. Each year brought a new batch of mischief. She wondered if he could even compare to James and his friends. Polishing off his own sandwich, Arthur gave her a curious look. "Why didn't you speak to Dumbledore about your concerns?"

She flushed in surprise and shrugged awkwardly. "The Headmaster is so busy these days. I'm sure he has better things to think about than my problems."

"You didn't even consider it, did you?" Arthur guessed astutely.

"Not really," she admitted sheepishly. "I just... I _need_ to know my family is okay."

Arthur smile morosely. "I understand, Miss Evans. Still, it's probably not the best idea to run off on your own."

"I can take care of myself," Lily told him defensively.

"I'm not saying you can't," he replied affably.

She hung her head shamefully. "I know. It's just... there's this boy..."

"Ah," Arthur murmured in understanding, "_he_ doesn't think you can handle yourself, right?"

Taking a deep breath, she nodded unhappily. "He's always saying how useless I am. He acts like I can't do anything right. Just because I'm not perfect like him..."

The older man watched her for a moment before digging a thermos of tea out of his briefcase. He handed her a cup without asking. "Muggles use this to keep things warm. Funny, isn't it?" She gave him a weak smile as she took a sip and he started on his second sandwich. "Maybe he fancies you."

"That's the working hypothesis," she murmured dully, keeping her eyes fixed on the honey colored liquid. "But I just don't understand. He's cruel and insulting and arrogant and I-"

She stopped abruptly. Lifting her eyes to meet his, she realized he already knew how she felt. He conjured up his own mug and poured himself some tea. Sipping thoughtfully, he glanced out the window. "You know, Molly never gets so cross with me as when I do something dangerous. It's because she worries, bless her heart."

"So you think James is doing this because he's worried about me?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Could be," Arthur speculated. "What was his reaction to you leaving?" Lily bit her lip anxiously and he smiled. "You didn't tell him. Well, don't be surprised if he's furious when you get back. He must really care for you."

Lily could only nod. She didn't really feel like talking anymore. He'd given her plenty to think about. He didn't seem to mind her silence as he shuffled through his papers and examined different Muggle gadgets. With his protection, she made it to Edinburgh in one piece.

"Take care of yourself, Miss Evans," Arthur admonished as she gathered her things to leave.

"I will. Thank you," she told him with feeling. "Give my best to your family."

His brown eyes lit with amusement behind his spectacles and he nodded. "I'll do that."

The minute her feet touched the platform, she disapparated. It was a short distance to get home. She had been nervous about apparating such a long way from Hogsmede, but she'd gone this far before. It was getting dark, but there were no lights inside. There was a lorry parked in the drive, still half full of boxes.

Frowning, Lily moved to the front door. Her key didn't work, so she used a spell. The house was dead silent. And mostly empty. There were boxes everywhere, but nothing she recognized. Everything from pictures to furniture had disappeared. Confused, she ran up the stairs to find that the rest of the house was equally empty.

Mrs. Monkleigh had lived in the house next door for more than thirty years. Lily used to think she was a witch before she had found out that witches were actually real and, for the most part, nothing like the reclusive old woman. After that, she'd been able to get on friendly terms with her. So the woman opened the door immediately when she knocked.

"Oh you poor dear. Come inside. I'll make you some tea." Mrs. Monkleigh was so old that she only came up to Lily's shoulder on a good day and was perpetually swathed in a moth-eaten bathrobe. Her blue hair was cropped close to her head and giant glasses magnified her milky blue eyes to give her a bug-like stare.

"Actually, Mrs. Monkleigh," Lily hesitated in her doorway, "I was wondering if you could tell me where my father is."

The older woman paused before turning to blink at her. "Oh dear. You don't know?"

All of the anxiety she had been trying to deny flooded into her as she froze. She couldn't breathe. "Know what?"

A car accident. Just after she'd started school. He'd been crossing the street for work when he got run down. The driver still hadn't been found. Within days, the house had been cleared out by her sister and put up for sale. That was all Mrs. Monkleigh knew from the newspaper and her brief contact with Petunia.

"I can't imagine why she wouldn't have phoned you," the old woman mused, pouring herself a second cup of tea from a set that was probably older than she was.

Lily's cup was going cold sitting untouched on the coffee table. She thought she might throw up. She was just stunned. Her whole life, everything at home was... gone. Hot tears puddled in her eyes as she shook her head. "Um... I don't know."

"I wondered when she threw so much in the bin," Mrs. Monkleigh continued. "Anything she couldn't sell got carted away to the dump."

She knew the older woman didn't mean any offense, but that news didn't help. Dumbly, she transferred her napkin from her lap to the coffee table. "Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Monkleigh. I think I need to go find my sister now."

"It's late, Lily," her neighbor protested as she pushed herself off the dusty yellow divan. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

Biting her upper lip, Lily forced a smile. "I'll be fine. Thanks."

She left before she could convince her to stay. The tears she had been fighting burned her cheeks as she walked with no clear destination in mind. All around her the city streamed with life, but she didn't notice any of it. He was gone. Really gone. And Petunia hadn't told her. Hadn't said a damn word.

Rage boiled up inside of her and she disapparated with a loud crack, not caring who saw. She arrived moments later outside Petunia's dorm room and stormed up the steps, ignoring the surprised looks from the other students. The double doors flew open of their own accord and she strode through without looking to either side. She knew the way to her sister's room. Glass cracked in the window behind her as she banged on the door furiously.

"Petunia!"

The door ripped open beneath her fist and her sister regarded her with a startled glare. "What the hell are you doing here? Did they finally kick you out of that freaky school of yours?"

"I've been trying to contact you for weeks!" Lily shouted.

Sighing, Petunia caught her by the wrist and dragged her inside, slamming the door behind them. "Bring your voice down, Lily. I've seen your bloody letters-"

"What happened?" she cried as her sister brushed past to pour herself a tumbler of vodka.

Petunia gave her a sharp look as she downed the whole thing and refilled the glass. "What do you think? He got hit by a car and died. He's not _special_ like you."

"I'm pretty sure I'd die too if I was hit by a car," Lily snapped sarcastically.

"Then why don't you go try it?" Petunia grumbled, slumping into the chair at her desk. Lily was so angry she couldn't think what to say, but her sister didn't need any further prompting. Her mouth thinned as though she had sucked on a lemon as she ripped out one of the drawers, rifling through and removing a thick stack of cash. "So what, Lily? Why are you here? You want money?"

"I don't want anything," she admitted softly, her rage crumbling into tears.

Seeing her grief, Petunia rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, let's play Poor Pitiful Lily, shall we? In case you hadn't noticed, I lost my father too. You don't see me blubbering about it."

"That's because you're a heartless bitch," Lily whispered brokenly. "You didn't even try to contact me. And then-"

"Yes, yes. You're _so_ mistreated," Petunia sneered over her drink.

"You trashed _everything_! All of my things... dad's... mum's..." she spluttered to a halt, too overwrought to say any more.

Sighing, Petunia rolled her eyes. "Where exactly was I supposed to keep all that rubbish? With a mortgage due and funeral arrangements to be made? It's not like I have wads of cash simply lying around."

"You should have told me," Lily insisted. "We could have figured things out."

"How?" Petunia asked impatiently. "Oh, I know: we could both quit school and take jobs, just to keep a useless old house and all the shoddy memories of dead people-"

"Those are _our_ parents!" Lily interrupted angrily.

Her sister curled her lip impatiently. "Yeah, well, you always were the favorite. I guess we both know why."

Lily stared at her blankly. "I cannot _believe_ you."

Petunia gave her a hard look before gulping down the rest of the alcohol. "Whatever. Listen, I've got a date in twenty minutes, so if you would just shove off, that'd be lovely."

Biting her lip, she hesitated, then nodded. She turned to show herself out and paused at the door. After a moment, she glanced back. "I don't know what anyone ever did to make you so angry, Petunia, but maybe you should stop blaming the rest of us for your problems. If you ever need me..." Her sister's look hardened and she sighed. "Forget it."


	15. Chapter 15

She left without another word. At least she knew it hadn't been anything to do with You-Know-Who or dark wizards. Petunia wouldn't have missed the chance to rip into her if it had had anything to do with magic. Not that it helped. She felt every bit as desolate as before, if not more. Her sister's scathing indifference was almost frightening.

She wandered for hours, not knowing or caring where she was going. Somehow she wound up in a cafe. The young waitress was too busy flirting with a group of punked out teenagers to pay her much attention, but that was fine. Nursing a cup of tea, Lily stared vaguely out the window onto the empty street. Trying not to think.

It was daylight by the time she could rouse herself into action. She bought flowers at a nearby shop before going to the cemetery. Her father was just where she thought he'd be. Where he'd wanted to be all along: right beside her mother. Her heart ached at the thought, but she didn't cry. More tears would probably come later, but for now she was dry.

Hours passed, but she hardly noticed until she heard a soft popping noise accompanied by shoes crunching on the gravel drive behind her. She was already reaching for her wand when she heard James ask in a low, exasperated tone: "What are you doing here, Lily?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied evenly, keeping hold of her wand just in case. He stayed silent for a minute and didn't approach, so she reluctantly glanced over her shoulder. "How'd you find me?"

His expression was stony and unreadable. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you'd be in if you got caught?"

"Yes, actually. Unlike you, I've read the rule book, not used it to prop up the uneven leg of my desk chair," she replied softly. "How did you find me?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Like it was hard. You're not exactly flying under the radar and I've had a tracking spell on you since fourth year. Now... tell me what this is all about."

Lily pushed herself wearily to her feet, no sleep and little food making her head swim as she turned to face him. "Are you kidding me? The all-knowing, all-seeing James Potter doesn't know something? This has got to be a first."

"If you're trying to piss me off, it's not going to work," he warned.

"Right, because you're already pissed off," she agreed.

"Too right I am," he snapped, taking a menacing step toward her. Lifting his hand, he crooked a finger at her. "Come here."

She flinched at the authority in his voice, but rallied her courage enough to glare at him. "No."

His eyes flickered, but he only cocked an eyebrow at her. "Excuse me?"

"I said no," she repeated emphatically, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you want something, you can drag your arrogant ass over to me for a change."

They glared at one another for nearly a full minute. In all honesty, she expected him to walk away. He was so stubborn! And the request wasn't exactly reasonable. After all, he'd already come this far to find her. The least she could do was walk three steps toward him. But she wasn't feeling very reasonable. If she gave him an inch, he'd probably walk all over her. Again.

He rubbed his hair thoughtfully before letting out a low chuckle. Her jaw nearly dropped when he moved forward. Stopping directly in front of her, he put his arms carefully around her shoulders. She bit her lip painfully before uncrossing her arms to hug him back.

Resting his cheek on her hair, he sighed, "Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought someone had taken you away from me."

Her hands fisted in his shirt. How could he do this now? Just when she was at her weakest point. Taking a deep breath, she admitted, "My dad is dead."

"I gathered as much," he replied softly, squeezing her tighter. "Are you finished here?"

She nodded, heavy tears dripping down her cheeks as she looked up at him. "Yeah."

"Your sister-?"

"I've already seen Petunia," she cut him off shortly, pulling back.

He caught her hand before she could move too far away, linking his fingers with hers and tugging gently. "Come on, Lily. I'll take you home."

Turning her face away, she rubbed ruefully at her tears, trying to compose herself. He waited patiently, even offering his handkerchief when her hand wasn't enough. When she was sufficiently dry, she looked back at him. "I don't have a home anymore."

His look was pained as he pulled her closer. "You've always got me."

She let out an angry laugh as she withdrew her hand and took a step back. "You? I've only got you when I'm in mortal peril or you've done something to hurt my feelings. No, wait. Come to think of it, I haven't even had _that_ recently."

Before she could do anything, he caught her in his arms and kissed her. Far from feeling comforted by the gesture, anger flooded through her. She stomped on his foot and pushed him back. "_No!_ You're not going to make me forget how awful you've been. You think you can just make everything better by kissing me, but you're _wrong!_"

Reaching up to rumple his hair, he gave her a cajoling smirk. "Don't be difficult Evans."

"Go bald, Potter!" she snapped.

He stopped rubbing in surprise and stared at her for a moment before letting out a soft bark of laughter. He covered his mouth almost immediately, suddenly remembering where they were. She couldn't help feeling a little smile tickling the edge of her lips and looked away. Grudgingly, she held out her hand to him. He linked his fingers with hers easily and tugged her close. "Alright, then. Come on, Lily. I'll take you back to school without getting caught."

"You are such a bastard," she murmured as he secured his arm around her waist.

"You like it," he shot back with a devilish grin.

He disapparated before she could think of a cogent response, dragging her along with him. She swooned as they arrived on the train platform, but he held her easily. Leaning her face into his neck, she couldn't help feeling grateful that he'd come after her. For being there just when she needed him.

"Uh... Lily?" he said softly.

"Hmm?"

"We're going to miss the train," he pointed out in a low voice.

From his pocket, he produced two tickets for the eleven o'clock train to Hogsmede. She didn't know how he'd managed that, but his enigmatic smile was enough to tell her that he was still a few steps ahead of her. Raising an eyebrow, she gave him a weak smile. "My legs aren't working very well right now."

Sighing and giving her a look of exaggerated long-suffering, he lifted her and carried her affably up the steps into the closest empty compartment. She thanked him as he set her down and he tapped her nose. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" she asked in confusion.

In lieu of a response, he put his hand on her cheek and kissed her. This time she let him, but he kept it brief. Drawing back reluctantly, he gave her a wry look she didn't quite understand and sighed before exiting the compartment. She watched him go curiously, then leaned her head back into the cushioned seat.

She might have begun to doze, but James was back within minutes, his arms overflowing with snacks. Rolling her head around, she smiled at him. "What's all that?"

"Well, you're never hungry when you're upset. I haven't eaten since yesterday and I assumed you hadn't either," he replied sensibly. He took a seat beside her as the train chugged into motion.

Lily frowned at him in concern. "Why didn't you eat?"

He gave her a blank look, unwrapping a pumpkin pasty and holding it up. When she didn't accept it, he bumped it pointlessly against her lips until she turned her head away with a soft giggle. Cradling the sweet in his hand, he asked, "How could I eat? I thought you'd been kidnapped."

"That's just silly. Who would kidnap me?" she murmured, reaching up to brush his hair away from his forehead. Tilting her head at him, she frowned. "You were really worried, weren't you?"

"I punched a wall," he admitted sheepishly. "Damn near broke my hand. I'll have to apologize to Alice later."

"She told you where I was?" Lily asked, finally relenting and taking the pasty from his hand, if only to erase that worried look.

He smiled, reaching up to push her hair tenderly behind her ear. "No. I managed that all on my own. I punched the wall when she woul_dn't_ tell me. I also nearly got into a fight with Frank."

Since he was feeling talkative, she decided to press her luck. "Why were you so upset?"

Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he leaned his forehead into her profile. "You know why."

"No, I don't," she insisted stubbornly.

"Eat Evans," he stalled, putting his hand under hers to urge the sweet to her mouth.

She took a bite to appease him, her stomach clenching as she chewed and swallowed. Then she gave him a pointed look. "Your turn, Potter. And while you're at it, make your mind up about what you're going to call me."

"I have my reasons," he grumbled, capturing her wrist and taking a bite of her pastry.

"And what are they?" she prodded impatiently.

"All of this could have been avoided if you'd have just told me what was going on, you know," he hedged, keeping his head on her shoulder and allowing her to feed him the rest of the pasty.

She frowned as she reached for a sandwich. "When would have been a good time to tell you? Before or after you called me a helpless cow?"

He winced before reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses. "You could have at least told me you were being badgered. I would've taken care of it."

"Badgered?" she repeated blankly.

He gave her a weary look. "Yes, Lily. Badgered. I had to find out from Alice about your homework and stuff going missing. And the attacks. Did you really think you had suddenly gotten _that_ useless?"

"You tell me exactly how useless you think I am every day. Forgive me for starting to believe it," she said bitterly. She regretted the words the moment they were out of her mouth, but he only sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry." He let her feed him half of her sandwich before going on. "You were being attacked, daft thing. You didn't even know, did you? I was trying to keep my distance from you so that _wouldn't_ happen. Forgot people would hate you on your own."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "Hate me? Who hates me?"

To her surprise, he smiled and reached up to stroke his fingers down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Lily, but there are some people at Hogwarts who resent a Muggleborn being in a position of power over them. Those petty little acts of hostility were their way of showing disrespect. How could you not even notice?"

She didn't have an answer for that. In fact, she was dumbfounded as everything she had been enduring suddenly fell into place. For the most part she genuinely assumed that people were good. It hadn't even crossed her mind that these things were happening on purpose. Alice had even suggested as much and she had written her off.

"This is your fault," she said suddenly, remembering Severus' admonitions. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and she turned to give him a stern look. "Come on, James, everyone had to know that we weren't okay. Without you protecting me, I started getting attacked."

His eyes narrowed and he looked away moodily. "Yeah, I spotted that too, Evans."

"Don't get mad at me," she warned.

"I'm not," he replied shortly. Drawing back his arm, he reached up to rub his forehead as though he had a headache.

She watched him skeptically. "You sure? Because you seem cross."

"If I'm angry with anyone, it's myself for not seeing this," he replied gruffly.

"Why are you angry with yourself?" she asked impatiently. "How could you have known?"

"I _should_ have," he insisted.

She caught his hand away from his face, looking seriously into his eyes. "You don't know everything, James. You can't guard against everything."

"Dammit, I can try!" He pushed himself up and began to pace, scrubbing his hair furiously with both hands.

Lily watched him for just a moment before moving to stand in his way. Her eyes were calm as she smiled at him. Reaching up, she covered both of his hands with her own. "You really will go bald if you keep that up. Now look at me."

For some reason, his eyes automatically skirted away from her face. "Evans, this is-"

Going up on tiptoe, she kissed him. He tried to pull back, but she followed, pushing him against the door so that he would have nowhere to go. He held himself stiffly for a moment before slowly giving in. Sliding his arms around her waist, he clasped his hands at the small of her back and bent his head so that she would be more comfortable.

She kissed him a moment longer before leaning back with a smile. "James, look at me. I'm fine. Do you know why?"

He studied her face for a moment before shaking his head.

"It's because you always take such good care of me," she told him softly. Her next words stuck in her throat, but she forced them out anyway. "I need you, James. I need you to protect me."

His lips curled in a slow smile and he reached up to knock his knuckles gingerly against her forehead. "Did you just now figure that out, you silly girl?"

Warmth flooded her cheeks as she dropped her eyes to his collar. Her mouth had gone mysteriously dry. In an effort to distract herself, she reached up to smooth her hands over his shoulders. "What happens now?"

Hugging her close and pressing her head to his chest, he shrugged. "We should be arriving soon. Lucky for you, it's a Hogsmede weekend, so we can sneak in with the rest of the students. The lads have been covering for us, so-"

"I was more wondering what happens with us," she interrupted softly.

She could feel the change in the way he held himself, like he was pulling away even though he didn't move. After a moment, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Us?"

Tension raced up her spine, but there was no going back now. Pressing her hands against his chest, she tried to step back, but he held her still. "James, we need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," he said quickly.

"Yes, there is," she insisted. "You obviously-"

"Just stop, Lily. Please?" he begged in a strained voice. "I can't do this."

"Why not?" she asked, finally breaking free and moving back to stare at him with her heart in her eyes. "You just risked expulsion to come after me. You can't pretend you don't care."

"I never said I didn't," he said quietly, unable to meet her eyes.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she stomped her foot impatiently. "Exactly. You don't _say_ anything. You just run hot and cold and expect me to keep up. Well, I can't!"

Taking a quick step toward her, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. After just a moment, he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead into hers. "I'm sorry, Lily. I am so sorry. Be patient with me. Please... trust me. I only want you to be safe."

"Why wouldn't I be safe if you just told me that you fancied me?" she asked, dangerously close to tears after being rejected yet again. "Do you want me to say it first? Is that what you're waiting for? Fine, James, I-"

He clapped his hand over her mouth and smiled down at her. "Calm down, Lily. I don't need you to tell me anything. In fact, I don't want you to. It'll only make things more difficult. I swear one day this will all make sense and I will listen to anything you want to tell me. But for now, can you be happy just knowing that I would cross an ocean if that's what it took to keep you safe?"

She arched an eyebrow at him, unable to respond through his hand. He mimicked her expression perfectly, making her want to laugh and hit him at the same time. Since he was giving her no choice, she nodded reluctantly. He held her eyes for a second longer before dropping his hand.

Biting her lip, she paced away from him. He watched her calmly, smiling a little as she began to twist her hair thoughtfully before moving over to take a seat. After a moment, she nodded and turned back to level him with a sultry look. "I'm not letting this go."

"Oh, I hope not," he murmured, catching her by the hips and drawing her forward to stand between his legs.

Leaning over him, she rubbed her nose against his. "You are so mine, James Potter."

For once his smile failed to irritate her as he reached up to twist his fingers into her hair. "I know."

He pulled her down for a kiss, but the train was slowing, drawing her back. Her lips barely brushed against his before she straightened reluctantly. A soft groan rumbled in his chest before he leaned back, putting his hand on his head and giving her a disgruntled look. She smiled innocently and reached for his hand. "Come on, James. I want a shower and bed in that order."

"I'd join you, but some of us have responsibilities," he mumbled, pushing himself up as the train slowly chugged into the station.

"Right. Quidditch and no sleep. Have fun with that," she said sarcastically, watching him dig a mirror out of his pocket.

He flicked it impatiently, giving her a look that clearly said not to be so smug since it was all her fault. "Alright Si? Where is everyone?"

"Oh, did you finally get back?" Sirius' voice came out pleasantly. "No problems, I hope? It's a good thing you're back, mate, 'cause the polyjuice potion is wearing off and Wormtail is looking a little uncomfortable in Lily's skirt."

"Wait, what?" Lily asked abruptly.

"The profs, Padfoot," James prompted quickly.

Sirius sighed expansively. "All in the Three Broomsticks for a pint. We'll meet you at the Post Office and put Wormtail under the cloak. Everything will be golden."

"Great," James nodded. "Five minutes." Slipping the mirror back in his pocket, he smiled and held out his hand. "Ready?"

"You guys really have this down, don't you?" She couldn't help feeling a little impressed by how easily he had worked things out.

He awarded her a cocky grin as he winked and drew her close to his side. "Impressed?"

"I think horrified is more the word I'm looking for," she murmured, following him out into the hallway.

He paused in the doorway to make sure the coast was clear before hopping down onto the platform, tugging her after him. After that, he dropped her hand and glanced over at her. "Act natural, Evans. It'll draw more suspicion if you look like you're slinking around."

"Don't call me Evans, _Potter_," she shot back impatiently, practically skipping to keep up with his long-legged stride.

"Lily!" She froze when she heard Alice calling out to her, but James kept going as the petite blonde attacked. "Oh my god, Lily! What's going on? You've been acting so weird. I thought you were going to-"

"Shh, Alice," Lily hushed her, glancing around suspiciously as she hugged her friend. "It's fine. Everything's... it's fine."

Tears suddenly crowded her eyes, overwhelming her. The events of the past twenty-four hours suddenly rushed back with startling ferocity. Seeing her pain, Alice gripped her arms, turning her toward the castle and hugging her waist. "What the hell happened?"

She was nearly hysterical by the time they arrived at the castle, doing her best to choke out the details between sobs. Listening sympathetically, Alice rushed her to her room. With her help, she was soon showered and swathed in her softest pajamas in bed.

"Are you sure you'll be all right on your own?" she asked as she tucked the comforter around her.

Lily smiled weakly, her face feeling puffy and painful. "I'll be fine. Besides, James should be back soon."

"Yeah, and he'll probably say something rude just before he ignores you," Alice pointed out irritably.

"I don't think it'll be like that," she assured her optimistically. "We've kinda come to an understanding."

"Does it have anything to do with me shoving my foot up his ass? Because I'm totally down for that," Alice offered glibly.

Lily raised her eyebrows at her. "Wow, what did he do to you while I was gone?"

"He threatened to transfigure my scarf into a python and make it eat me," she told her angrily. A soft laugh escaped her before she could cover her mouth, making Alice glare. "It's not funny."

"It is a little," she giggled. "You've gotta give him points for creativity."

"I can't believe I covered for you," Alice sighed.

Lily caught her hand before she could rush off in a huff, pulling her back to give her a cloying hug. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You're right. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for, Alice."

Sighing, Alice leaned back into her embrace. "I know. Now, are you sure you don't need anything else?"

"I'm sure," she nodded.

Searching her face, Alice nodded reluctantly. "Okay, but if you need anything else, you know where to find me."

She assured her that she'd be fine and watched as she left. In reality, she made her exit just in time. James arrived mere minutes after her, dropping face first onto the end of her bed. Sitting up, she smiled at him. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," he groaned pitifully.

"You're all muddy," she complained, pushing back the covers and crawling forward to pull him up.

"No," he moaned childishly. "Too tired."

Leaning over him she murmured, "Why don't I help you get cleaned up?"

He stiffened as she brushed her lips over his ear, kissing and sucking until he let out a soft growl and squirmed onto his side. The look he gave her was markedly disgruntled, but grudgingly interested. "I'm listening."

Nipping gingerly at his earlobe, she tugged on his hand. "Well stop listening and come along, Potter."

With plenty of complaining, he allowed her to lead him into the bathroom. He waited patiently while she filled the enormous tub, but she couldn't meet his eyes. Her cheeks were red as she stripped him down to his skivvies. Biting her lip, she finally looked up at him, toying with the waistband of his boxers.

"I can get that part," he assured her, sensing the problem.

Biting her lip, she nodded. "Good. I mean, if you're sure-"

"I'm sure," he said with a smile. "Why don't I see you when I'm... what are you doing?"

Stepping away from him, she turned her back and began unbuttoning her top. Taking a breath, she said, "I'm getting in with you. I can't wash you off from the sidelines."

"Lily, that's really not-"

She looked at him over her shoulder as her shirt dropped to the floor. "I know."

Author's Note: Another cliffy. Sorry to everyone who is now pulling their hair out. I'll get the new chapter up as soon as I can, but I hope most of you are satisfied. I enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you all liked reading it. As for the last one, well, I'm told I did it a little too well and may have some unresolved family problems, but that's neither here nor there. Please review! I love to hear from you!


	16. Chapter 16

"Come on, Evans. Just one more kiss."

Lily sighed as she allowed herself to be pulled back for the third "last" kiss. Her clothing and hair were decidedly disheveled and her body felt uncomfortably hot as she reluctantly put her hands on his shoulders with the intention of giving herself some space. She weakened, however, when he nibbled her lower lip and pressed her more firmly into the wall. Breaking away by turning her head, she gasped for air while he doggedly continued trailing kisses down her neck.

"You are either very bad at counting or you _want_ us to get caught," she murmured, experiencing a painful stab of pleasure as he cupped his hand over her breast.

"We're not gonna get caught," he grinned, grazing his teeth over the curve of her neck as he pulled another button free at the top of her uniform.

Though he still refused to allow either one of them to _say_ what they felt, they had been basically dating for more than a month now. For the most part, it was going well. In spite of the fact that he was verbally stymied, he was tender and affectionate almost to a fault, showing her how he felt in a hundred different ways each day. But he also refused to let anyone outside of their closest friends know about the relationship. He hadn't really even wanted Alice or Frank to know, but Lily had scored a rare win by pointing out there was no way she could possibly hide something like that indefinitely, especially not from Alice. He was the one who loved to point out what a rotten liar she was.

"James," she panted, clawing his arm as he breathed heavily behind her ear. Her skin prickled with awareness, making every other point of contact burn like wild fire. "Someone's coming."

"No one is going to come, Lily," he growled with mock-impatience. "And if they do, I'll use a memory charm."

"Right. It's not suspicious at all for half the students in the school not to remember anything before last Thursday," she teased, referencing the three other students that had caught them on previous encounters.

Dryly, he raised his eyebrows at her. "If you're going to criticize, then I'll just let you do it."

"I still can't figure out why you befuddled Peter," she reminded him. "He was only trying to warn you."

Closing his eyes, he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and breathed deeply, a sure sign he was winding himself down. "He should have known not to surprise me."

Lily couldn't help smiling. Digging her hands into his hair, she went up on tiptoe to kiss him. Her hormones were running so high that she nearly felt sick. Along with the fact that he still wouldn't tell her anything about his fears, he continued to hold back physically. He never let things get too far out of hand, though it was obvious in more ways than one that he wanted more.

Red-faced and panting, he drew back abruptly as she ground her hips suggestively against him. Blinking innocently, she did her best not to smile at his discomfiture. It was very difficult for him to look cool when he was so flustered. She couldn't pretend that she didn't love it. Catching her smug expression, he moved away from her, taking deep breaths and rumpling his hair. "Lunch is nearly over."

"Uh-huh," she agreed, grinning like the Cheshire cat even though she felt suddenly cold.

"We need to get to class," he continued to explain unnecessarily. "It'll look suspicious if we're both late."

Raising her eyebrows at him, she continued to smile as she began to pull her clothing into order. "Yes James."

He shot her an irritated look. "That's the _only_ reason, Evans."

"I'm sure it is," she said easily, her eyes flicking pointedly down to the hard bulge in his trousers. "Plus you'll probably need to run and take a cold shower. Professor Flitwick will be cross if he thinks you're trying to smuggle another petrified garden gnome into his class."

Combing his fingers into his hair, he finally gave her a grudging smile. "Yeah, I probably need to find a better excuse. Do you reckon he'd buy an injury if I told him I had mentula incommodum?"

"You should try it," she encouraged, straightening her tie. "At the very least, he'll get a good chuckle."

"You think I won't," he teased, leaning in to tap the tip of her nose.

"I will give you nine sickles and a cookie if you do," she baited, catching him by the front of his shirt to kiss him once more.

He gave in for just a moment before putting his hands on her hips and setting her physically away from him. His expression was bemused as he reluctantly straightened. Reaching into his back pocket, he unfolded an old parchment he still wouldn't even let her look at and tapped it with his wand. "Why don't you go out first? Alice will be walking by in about... ten seconds. I'll see you in class."

She kissed him once more before dodging out into the hall. Right on schedule, Alice shot her a disgruntled look. "Well? How was your afternoon snog?"

"What the hell happened to your eye?" Lily asked in concern, leaning close to peer at the dark bruise.

Alice rolled her eyes expressively. "Got in a bit of a tiff with McLeod. Don't worry. She's still in the infirmary, the manky bitch. I swear, every time I see her I just want to punch her in the face."

"Looks like she beat you to it today. What did she do?" Lily asked as they hurried to class, vaguely remembering the sixth year Slytherin with short, straight red hair and an improbably pointy nose.

The smaller girl let out an indignant 'tuh' before flicking her hair over her shoulder. "She had the bollocks to call me a half-blood to my face and tried to hex Frank when he defended me. I'll need to remember to thank James for those extra lessons..."

Alarm spiked through her as she glanced at her friend. "Alice-!"

"It's not a big deal, Lily," she shrugged as they turned into the classroom. "McGonagall gave me detention and McLeod won't be able to sit down for a week. I reckon that's a fair trade."

It took them a moment to realize that the class was half-empty, even as the bell rang. The students that were present stood huddled to whisper in small groups and Professor Flitwick, who was always prompt, was noticeably absent. Some sense of foreboding stole through her as they approached Frank on the far side of the classroom.

"What's going on?" Alice asked without preamble as she slumped into the seat beside him.

He glanced up and shook his head grimly. "Something bad. I think there's been another attack."

"Twenty Muggles were slaughtered this morning," a boy named Wes Cooper told them in a hushed voice, his brown eyes wide and frightened.

"I heard it was fifty," a Hufflepuff called Lettie Tate corrected him anxiously, chewing her fingernails so hard that she was nearly bleeding.

"Stella Parkins' mum called her home," another girl spoke up quickly. "She's leaving tonight. Says it's not safe here anymore."

"Well that's just rubbish," Lily spoke up suddenly, turning to address the class. "So long as we've got Dumbledore, You-Know-Who won't dare come here."

It was clear that they wanted to believe her, but she saw the dubious looks. The nervous, sideways glances. She looked around to seek help and suddenly noticed that James and his friends were also absent. That more than anything made her stomach churn. Where was he?

"All students report to the Great Hall." McGonagall's magically amplified voice echoed through the halls, directing them to proceed in an orderly fashion.

"I've got to go," she said suddenly, thinking of the surely frantic younger students as she raced for the door.

Alice and Frank loped quickly after her to lend a hand. The halls were in chaos. Frightened students scurried in all directions crying, shouting, and arguing. Frank stopped to break up a fight while Lily sent Alice on with a frightened crowd of first years. Rounding a corner, she encountered three seventh year Slytherins fighting with a group of sixth year Gryffindors.

"Don't be stupid, Elkins," a pale boy named Lestrange sneered smugly, "for all you know, that orphanage attacked _them_."

The petite brunette's face went red with rage and her friends had to hold her back. "Fuck you, you bloody asshole! They were only children!"

"Aw... don't worry, I'm sure they got the nuns too," he laughed, showing off his sharp, oversized canines.

Lily shot him with a jelly-legs jinx before he could say anymore, causing him to stagger violently. His friends reached for their wands as she stalked up, but the other Gryffindors had already beat them to it. Giving them a deadly look, she crossed her arms over her chest. "You two take your friend and get to the Great Hall or I'll have you all in detention before you can blink."

A tall boy with pale blonde hair bared his teeth at her in a rabid grin. "Like it matters, you filthy little mud-"

"Oh... keep going, Kerrik," Lily growled, keeping her wand trained on his face with deadly accuracy. "Give me a reason."

Grudgingly, the students moved on. Warning the Gryffindors not to cause any trouble, she sent them along as well. She made one more sweep of the floor before heading to the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall was already addressing the students, but a quick glance told her that James was missing. Catching sight of Peter, she elbowed her way to his side.

"What's going on?" she asked in a low voice.

"You-Know-Who led an all-out slaughter sometime this morning," he told her shortly. "A Muggle orphanage outside of London was attacked. They burned it to the ground with all the children and workers still inside. No one knows all the details yet. How many-" He gulped nervously, his eyes flicking around as though he expected a Death Eater to burst through the door any second.

Lily glanced at him sharply. So the rumors were true... "Where's James?" Biting his lip, Peter shook his head. She gripped his arm desperately. "Peter, what's he doing? Tell me."

The blonde boy gritted his teeth, stubbornly silent. Panic poured through her. Forgetting her duties, she jumped up and ran from the room. Her only thought was that she had to get to James. She had to be in time.

He was finishing packing his things when she burst inside. Striding across the room, she slapped him as hard as she could. "What the _fucking hell_ do you think you're doing?"

His eyes were cool as he reached up to adjust his glasses. "I'm leaving."

"No you're not!" she cried, catching the small bag of clothing and tossing it to the floor behind her.

"Don't worry," he admonished softly, putting a hand on her cheek and leaning in to kiss her. She turned her head impatiently, but he didn't take offense. In fact, the cocky smile he gave her was specially geared to piss her off. "I'll be _fine_, Evans."

Angry tears seared her eyes, but she ignored them. She slapped him again. And again. Hitting every bit of him that she could reach, she backed him up against the bed. "No! No! _No!_ You arrogant bastard! You are _not_ going to do this!"

Without warning, he caught her arms, roughly dragging her close so that he could look into her face. She struggled against him, but his hands were like steel biting almost painfully into her flesh. "I _am_ doing this, Lily. You can't stop me."

"Like hell I can't!" she sobbed helplessly.

"That's my girl," he murmured. An affectionate smile touched his lips as his eyes caressed her face. Like he was trying to memorize it. After a moment he released his grip on her arms and hugged her close. "Lily, I'm doing this for you. You know that world you used to dream of when you went to sleep at night? All happiness and starlight and safety for the people you love, yeah? I want it too. I want you to have it. I'm going to give it to you."

"James-"

"You think I'm bad here? You just wait until I get my hands on Voldemort." She flinched at the sound of the name and he rubbed her back tenderly. "He won't know what hit him. None of those bastards will."

She fisted her hands in his shirt. As if she could physically stop him from leaving. Shaking her head, she said, "James you can't. You can't go now. I need you here with me."

His smile was sad as he reached up to brush away her tears. "I can do more for you out there."

"I'll go with you, then." She tried to step away, but he held her tightly.

"No, Lily," he said softly, pressing his forehead tenderly against hers. "You'll stay here where it's safe. Peter and Remus will look after you."

"I'll leave after you go," she threatened. "I'll find you. You can't stop me."

He was already shaking his head. She could tell from the heightened color in his cheeks that she was getting to him, even though his eyes remained stony and impassive. "I can. You know that I can. Remus and Peter are under strict instructions to see that you don't do anything foolish after I'm gone. Whether you want to or not, you _will_ stay here."

Before she could protest, he kissed her. Fisting his hand in her hair, he held her still while he plunged his tongue into her mouth, licking and biting with startling ferocity. Her face was red when he finally pulled away, but he kept his hold on her. Pressing his forehead into hers, he panted, "Don't trust anyone but Frank and Alice and the boys. Don't go anywhere alone."

"James-"

He kissed her again to cut off anything she might say. Any arguments that could change his mind. His hands raked over her body in a way that was frightening. Like he was drowning and she was the only thing that could save him. He set his jaw as he finally released her and stepped back. His face was almost angry as he stooped to retrieve his bag. After a moment, he looked up at her and for once he didn't have his guard up. Her heart nearly stopped when he smiled at her. "I love you, Lily."

"_Locomotor Mortis!"_ she cried, hitting him hard with a leg-locking curse as he turned to leave.

He grabbed the doorway so that he wouldn't overbalance and shot her a dangerous look. "Bloody fucking hell, Lily! I didn't teach you those things so that you could use them against me."

She glared at him. Her crash course in Defense with the Marauders had done wonders for her fighting skills, which was probably part of the reason he was leaving. How she hated him and his stupid, clever planning! When she spoke, her voice was low and furious. "You think you can tell me you love me and just walk away? Just like that? Fuck you, James Potter."

"I'll take that to mean you love me too." His arrogant grin didn't falter as he reached for his wand.

A startled look crossed his face when he encountered... nothing. He rummaged in his trouser pockets before looking at her. Smirking, she held up his wand. "Looking for something? You _are not_ leaving, James."

"Are you gonna fight Sirius too?" he challenged her, raking an angry hand through his hair. "He'll be here any time now."

"Yes, if that's what it takes!" she shouted. "You're acting _crazy,_ James. This is completely mad! You think you and your mates can just go out and stop You-Know-Who when no one else has been able to do anything to even slow him down? Dumbledore and the Ministry have been fucking useless, but you can do it because you're James Sodding Potter! What if you _die_? What if you get Sirius killed?"

"I'm prepared for whatever happens," he said calmly. "I will do whatever it takes to make sure you're safe. And Lily-"

"No," she argued. "You are _not_ sacrificing yourself-"

"I'm calling in that favor now," he continued doggedly.

Her stomach dropped. Stepping back, she began to shake her head. "Stop it, James."

"You _promised_," he reminded her. "Anything I ask no matter what it is."

She closed her eyes to block out his earnest face. "I hate you. I hate you so much."

"Give me my wand and let me go," he said softly. "Let me go save the world."


	17. Chapter 17

If she lived to be a hundred, Lily swore to herself that she'd never forgive him. She also knew that she'd never forgive herself for letting him go if something terrible happened. What if he got hurt? What if he was killed? These thoughts kept her awake at night, tormenting her. In the past, she had always avoided The Prophet, preferring not to indulge in the frantic sensationalism. Now her appetite was voracious. She subscribed to every paper and magazine she could think of, desperate for some clue or hint of where he was. If he was okay. If there was anything she could find that would be of help to him.

Though she was angry and worried, she couldn't help admitting that whatever he was doing was having an effect. She quickly lost count of the number of articles she found describing mysterious persons unknown who had diverted catastrophe in ingenious and sometimes ironic ways. Unfortunately, the attacks that did manage to succeed were becoming increasingly brutal. Even they couldn't do everything.

The situation at Hogwarts was no better. Student and teacher morale was at an all-time low. Plenty of parents were pulling their children out of school. As if having them at home would protect them from the horrors of Voldemort. Everyone was sad, but no one was really surprised at the news of the first student being killed along with her entire family.

Despite Dumbledore's best efforts, there was no inter-house camaraderie. Students regarded anyone who wasn't in their house with suspicion and veiled hostility. Especially the Slytherins, though they did little to divert these sentiments. Fights broke out almost daily. There were even attacks. Lily managed as best she could on her own. She learned to read situations better. She could soon pick up on suspicious behavior from a mile away.

The only truly bright spot came in the mostly unlikely form. James had warned her against using the mirror he had given her for fear that it might fall into the wrong hands. He also couldn't send an owl for obvious reasons. Somehow, though, messages found their way into her hands. Like the pretty gold bracelet she'd found hidden in her measure of beetle eyes during potions or the love note folded up inside a library book she'd needed for her transfiguration homework. She suspected Remus and Peter, but as yet hadn't managed to catch them in the act.

There were some methods of delivery, however, that were so strange and surprising that it couldn't possibly be them. They would show up in places they had little or no access to. Like the enchanted plumeria seeds hidden in her hairbrush that burst into bloom when they got caught in her hair. Or the little note tucked into the toe of one of her slippers (When I get back, I'll be the one keeping you warm). Then there was the necklace she'd found at the center of her orange at breakfast one morning leaving her mystified and bemused.

She was so busy with all the turmoil at school that she hardly had time to feel sorry for herself. Alice and Frank helped, choosing to study in the Head common room with her each night rather than leaving her alone. Even Remus and Peter became surprising allies, sitting near her in class and at meal times. She suspected they were partially following orders, but she quickly forgot about that as she began to genuinely enjoy their company.

Sitting with her chin in her hand, Lily stared listlessly out into the drizzling darkness while Alice and Frank flirted over their homework and Remus tried for approximately the billionth time by her count to teach Peter the finer points of wizard chess. She wondered where James was. If he was wet and cold. Doubtful. Knowing him and Sirius, they'd probably found a warm little pub to hunker down in for the evening. Still, she couldn't help worrying...

"Stop thinking about him," Remus said suddenly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he placed his castle in check. "It'll only make it worse."

"I'm not," she replied defensively, dropping her eyes to her homework in embarrassment.

Peter snorted, rubbing his chin as he stared blankly at his pieces as though willing them to offer him some sort of inspiration. "Course you are. You've been sighing like a lost puppy all evening."

"He's fine, Lily," Remus assured her patiently. "James and Sirius know how to take care of themselves."

"So you've heard from them, then?" she asked, looking at him sharply.

He didn't even bother to meet her gaze as he studied Peter from across the board. "All I know is that everything is going according to plan."

"And what plans are they?" she pressed angrily. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn't help it. She'd never before hated being out of the loop so much as she did now. It made her feel moody and aggressive. She was also probably cranky because she hadn't been getting much sleep. Her nightmares were getting progressively worse.

Sighing, Alice nudged her with her toe and shot her a warm smile. "He's right, Lily. You shouldn't worry so much. It's making you sick. Let's talk about something else, yeah? The Hogsmede trip is coming up this weekend. We should go Christmas shopping."

"What are you doing for Christmas, Lily?" Frank asked curiously. "You're not staying here?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I hadn't really thought about it."

It was the truth. She didn't want to think about it. With her father gone, she didn't have a home anymore. Petunia wouldn't want her to visit. She knew that without even asking. Honestly she didn't want to see her, either.

Seeing her mood getting worse, Peter jumped in to cheer her up. "What about the Yule ball? Are you excited to go?"

Lily winced and Remus kicked him under the coffee table. If she had been given any choice, she wouldn't be going to the Yule Ball. Dumbledore had personally insisted on her attendance as well as all of the remaining prefects. Despite recent tragedies, he thought it was important for them to go on. Life didn't stop just because things were bad, etc. Besides, they were still children. They deserved to have a little fun once in a while.

"I haven't even got a dress," she admitted softly, turning to peer out the window. "Or a date."

"You can go with me," Peter offered magnanimously.

Before she could even consider it, Remus shook his head at her. "Don't do it, Lily. Pete's a terrible dancer. He'll spend half the night on your toes and the other half at the buffet. Hasn't anyone else asked you?"

She gave him a pointed look. "I don't _want_ to go with anyone."

His stern expression spoke volumes to her petulant mood. "I'll take you, then. You need an escort at the very least."

Against her will, her lips quirked in a sarcastic smile. "Careful, Remus. You keep ordering me around so forcefully and I might stop missing James."

His silver eyes twinkled as he grinned. "Just doing my part to make you feel more comfortable."

"We can go shopping on Saturday," Alice jumped in quickly. "We'll get everything sorted in one go."

In the end, she was given no choice. Her friends were determined to lift her spirits, whether she liked it or not. Bundling her up against the weather, they herded her out into the dreary morning with the best of intentions. Even the driving rain couldn't dampen their fierce determination to have a good day.

"I think we should visit Gladrags last," Alice mused as Frank wrestled with the umbrella. "That'll cut down on our dresses getting ruined. And maybe the rain will clear up by then."

"Right," he agreed. "First, we should hit the Three Broomsticks for a pint."

"I need to go by Zonkos," Peter added, cheerful even though he was sopping since he'd already lost his umbrella.

Shielding both of them with his own umbrella, Remus gave Lily a sly smile. "Ever visited the Shrieking Shack, Lily? It should be pretty calm during the daytime, but I think it's well worth a look."

"Thanks, Remus, but I don't think today is the best day for sightseeing," she replied wryly.

He grinned at Peter as if she had said something daft. "Don't worry about it. I know where there's a nice hole in the fence. We could go inside."

"That sounds dangerous," Alice said nervously.

"And kinda foolish," Frank added. "No telling what you'll stir up in there. I've heard the ghosts are terribly violent. You could really get hurt."

"Come on," Remus nudged her enticingly. "It'll be fun. Besides, a little danger is good for you every now and again."

Lily lifted an eyebrow at him. "Right, because life hasn't been dangerous enough lately. Does James know about this?"

"It was his-" Peter let out a loud "oomf" as Remus elbowed him in the gut.

Grinning innocently, he said, "James won't mind."

She frowned at him curiously. Her mischief senses were tingling. Something was brewing, but she wasn't sure what it could possibly be. Still, Remus couldn't be planning something that would really hurt her.

After a moment, she nodded. "Sure, Remus-"

"What?" Frank cried in surprise.

"Lily, that's mad," Alice told her quickly. "_He's_ mad. Don't listen to him."

She ignored them. Tilting her head at him as they descended the slope into Hogsmede, she asked, "When do you want to go?"

Casually, he pulled out a beaten pocket watch. "In about four and a half minutes."

"That seems oddly specific," she observed in bemusement.

"Does it?" he replied mildly, a wicked light gleaming in his eyes. "We should get going if we're gonna make it in time."

"Lupin-" Alice began warningly.

Catching Lily's hand, he dodged off the path. His brisk pace was almost too fast for her to keep up. Mud splattered up over her as she stumbled in his wake, clinging to her cloak and the jeans beneath. "Remus!"

"No time, Lily," he grinned.

Her stomach churned with nerves as the dilapidated house loomed over them. It was looking particularly intimidating with a backdrop of angry storm clouds today. Lightning flashed, striking a nearby tree and shaking the ground with a deafening boom. Lily let out a frightened scream, but Remus only tugged her on faster.

She should have suspected something when he was able to find the hole in the fence without any trouble. The lawn was overgrown with weeds that caught on their legs as if to hold them back, but he didn't pause. Racing forward, he tore open a door at the side of the house that seemed boarded up from the outside, yet opened relatively easily.

Soaked through, Lily stomped inside. She did her best to shake off the drops before looking up to give him an irritated look and finding that he had disappeared. Panic fluttered in her chest as she retreated a step, but the door suddenly slammed shut behind her, making her jump and spin around. "Remus? This isn't funny!"

The cavernous building creaked and groaned ominously, but that was her only response. She glanced around nervously. She was in what once was probably a parlour, but all of the furniture had been long since smashed beyond recognition. The windows were boarded up so that only the dimmest light could penetrate the gloom. More terrifying still were the sinister claw marks that covered every flat surface from the floor to the walls and even the ceiling.

"Remus?" she called nervously, her voice coming out in a frightened rasp. Her wand hand shook as she lit the tip and took a cautious step further into the room. Gritting her teeth, she gathered her courage around her like a cloak. "If you don't come out _right_ now, I am going to leave!"

A thump followed by a low groan came from the second floor. In a flash, her nerves vanished. They were replaced by concern for Remus. What if he was hurt? What if the ghosts got him? Without hesitation, she charged up the listing stairs. "Remus? Remus where are you?"

She screamed as something grabbed her from behind, lifting her off her feet and dragging her back into a dim, dusty cupboard. It only took her an instant to realize that they were real hands holding her. Furious, she spun to give him a piece of her mind. "Remus Lupin, I am going to kill you!"

"Now that's disheartening," James' voice chuckled in the darkness. "I leave you alone for a few weeks and you've already got other blokes dragging you into cupboards?"

Lily took an alarmed step back, bumping into the door. "That's not funny Remus."

Pale white light illuminated the closet and James grinned down at her. "Worst of all, it seems to be my best mate who's doing it. You sure know how to hurt a guy, Evans."

"Why are you here?" she asked anxiously, not trusting his sudden appearance.

Raising his eyebrows at her, he crossed the space between them and cupped her face in his hands. "Because I missed you, daft thing. I had an afternoon off while Sirius gets some directions so I thought I'd come see you. I fixed it up with the lads this morning. It was meant to be a surprise. Aren't you surprised?"

"Are you kidding me? Yes!" she cried, going up on tiptoe to kiss him. She was so enthusiastic that she knocked him back a few steps, following until he bumped into the wall.

His lips twisted in a smile as they hovered over hers. "Took you long enough."

Ignoring him, she reached up to twist her fingers into his hair, pulling his head down firmly so that she could reach. Gripping her bottom, he lifted her easily and carried her through to the closest room. There was a broken down bed against the far wall and he dropped onto it, releasing a cloud of dust that neither of them paid any attention to. Already his hands were undoing the clasp on her cloak and she inadvertently scratched him in her haste to drag up his sweater.

Drawing back, he pushed her sopping hair over her shoulder with a wry grin as his free hand kept her from undressing him. "What do you think you're doing, love?"

"What happened here?" she asked in concern, touching the small scar above his left eyebrow. She knew it hadn't been there before.

Tilting his head, he gave her a rakish grin. "Less talking, more snogging."

"James-"

He cut her off with a passionate kiss, pushing her onto her back and leaning over her while his long fingers fumbled with the buttons of her blouse. Her body hummed with pleasure under his attention, but he stopped her when she tried to touch him back. It made her nervous. What was he hiding?

She gasped as he pressed his mouth to her throat. Trying to think. He seemed to love breaking her concentration. Her fingers knotted in the moth eaten bed sheets as she writhed beneath him. "James! We're in the Shrieking Shack!"

"It's fine," he assured her impatiently, nipping her lips in the most distracting way. "Not really haunted. No more questions."

She squeaked in pleasure as he finished with her shirt and brushed aside the edges to fondle her stomach. "Ah... Remus? What about Remus?"

He gave her an impatient look that clearly said she shouldn't be thinking about other boys while she was with him. Between kisses, he explained, "He went... out the back... a while ago. We're alone."

"Um-" She jumped as his fingers skirted enticingly over her breast. "Frank and Alice. They'll come looking for me."

"Not with Peter keeping them busy," he murmured into her clavicle.

She arched her back as he moved lower. "How long- How long can you stay?"

"Noon," he sighed, not meeting her eyes. "Padfoot's expecting me by noon."

Biting her lip, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him close. Less than an hour. That wasn't nearly long enough. He slipped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Leaning back, he drew her up into his lap and held her tenderly. She turned her head to rest on his shoulder and frowned at a dark bruise just visible on his neck. "What's that?"

"It's nothing," he said automatically, reaching up to comb his fingers into her hair.

"James?"

"Honestly, Lily," he cut her off quickly, pulling back to smile into her face, "it's nothing to worry yourself about."

Taking a breath, she reached up to frame his face in her hands. "I missed you. Do you know what it's like waiting at school to find out if you're dead or not? It's driving me mad."

He shook his head at her. "I'm fine, Lily. Look at me. I'm fine."

She raised her eyebrows skeptically. "I'd be more inclined to believe you if you'd let me see what you were hiding beneath your shirt."

"It'll only worry you," he admitted quietly.

"I'm already worried," she insisted, straightening to frown at him.

Letting out an irritable sigh, he dropped his hands from her waist and stripped off his shirt. Her stomach dropped. Bruises and abrasions riddled his flesh, but most concerning of all was the thick, raised green welt on his right shoulder. Something about it seemed... unhealthy. She touched it lightly and he winced.

"Met up with a bit of trouble the other day," he explained simply. He smiled when she continued to stare at his shoulder. "Trust me, it looked much worse before."

She gave him a concerned look as she traced her fingers over the wound. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he lied. She glanced up at him skeptically and he leaned his forehead into hers. "Only when I press it."

She dropped her fingers as though she had been burned. "Sorry."

"It doesn't hurt if it's you," he told her earnestly, keeping his eyes on her face. Catching her hand, he tenderly pressed his lips to her fingers. "You can touch me as much as you like."

Tears suddenly flooded her eyes and she looked away. For a mad moment, she missed the old James. The one that would knock her on the head and tell her not to be stupid. Even at his worst, he'd never hurt her so much with his callousness as he did with his love. It was like a knife in her heart.

A single tear escaped to roll down her cheek and she heard him sigh. Leaning forward, he licked the wet trail. Her hair practically stood on end as she jerked away from him. "You-! What did you do that for?"

He grinned unrepentantly. "Tell me you love me."

His arms circled her waist to draw her closer and she resisted angrily. "No! I'm not going to reward you for bad behavior."

"I thought you liked when I misbehaved," he teased, passing his tongue wetly over her exposed throat and grinning when she shrieked.

"You're terrible," she grumbled, trying to ignore her red cheeks.

"You love me," he shot back with an irksome flick of his eyebrows.

Weakened, she reached up to comb her fingers into his hair. "I do."

"Say it," he insisted, reaching up to cup his hands over her breasts. She turned her face away in embarrassment and he squeezed gently. "Say it, Lily. Tell me you love me."

"Promise you'll come back," she panted harshly. "I'll tell you when you come back."

"Lily-" he sighed, shaking his head reluctantly.

She kissed him hard, biting his lip and clenching her fingers in his hair. The touch of her bare stomach against his made her burn with pleasure. Urging herself closer, she brushed her tongue along the inside of his lip and ground her hips against him. Releasing his mouth, she leaned forward to nuzzle his ear. She smiled when his skin broke out in gooseflesh as she breathed on him. "Promise me, James."

"I'll come back," he swore in a strained voice.

"When?" she murmured, nipping tenderly at his earlobe.

"Christmas," he panted desperately, digging his fingers into her hips. "We'll spend Christmas together."

"Not soon enough," she whispered softly, brushing the lightest kisses over his neck. "I want you to come see my dress for the Yule Ball."

In spite of his obvious weakness to her charms, his grin was wolfish. "Will I be helping you into it or out of it?"

Pressing her lips against a smile, she nodded approvingly. She rested her hands on her thighs as she tilted her head, bringing her lips enticingly close to his. "I love you, James."

He grinned before capturing her for one last kiss that left her breathless and hungry. It was almost physically painful to be separated, but they reluctantly drew back to put their clothes in order. She couldn't help watching him as she buttoned her blouse. Her eyes devoured every inch of him, storing up for his absence like a bear in winter.

On the other hand, he avoided looking at her. He kept his eyes carefully on the floor as he waited for her to finish. For once she understood. He didn't want to leave. She could hardly know what kind of hell he went through when he was off on his own with Sirius. It was clear he needed her to be the strong one here. So she didn't cry. Didn't beg him to stay or say any of the things she wanted. Instead, she smiled and kissed him.

Running a hand through his hair, he gave her a wry smile. "I'll see you in two weeks."

"Promise?" she asked smugly.

He nodded without hesitation. "I promise."

Author's Note: Very fluffy chapter. I hope you all liked it. I really hope it wasn't disappointing after that last one, which was rather kick ass if I do say so myself.


	18. Chapter 18

The next two weeks practically flew by with Lily walking in a cloud. Even the tension at the school couldn't dampen her spirits as she counted down the days to the Yule Ball. Somehow things weren't so stressful because she knew that she'd be seeing him soon. As difficult as it was to pin James down with a promise, he never went back on his word.

The blue gown had taken a bite out of her savings, but it fit her like a dream, so she didn't really mind. Getting ready with Alice, she fussed plaintively over her hair and makeup, something she usually never had much care over. In fact, she was so picky that Alice chided her for making them late.

"It's fine, Lily," she assured her for the seventh time. "You look gorgeous. James won't know what to do with himself."

Frowning at her reflection, Lily fingered the beautiful sapphire necklace that had somehow made its way into her porridge at breakfast that morning. "Are you sure I shouldn't-?"

"You're perfect," Alice interrupted impatiently, tugging on her arm. "Now let's go. They're all waiting for us."

Biting her lip, Lily followed Alice in her dainty pink gown out into the common room where the boys had gathered in their finest formal robes. She only allowed herself a slight twinge of disappointment when she realized that James hadn't arrived yet, but the night was still young. He'd be here. He promised.

Holding out his arm, Remus gave her a warm smile. "You look stunning."

"Thanks," she said, absently glancing at the clock. "Have you heard from James?"

The thin boy let out a soft laugh and shook his head at her. "I can see I'm definitely playing second fiddle tonight. No, I haven't heard from him, but that probably means everything's right on schedule."

"He did promise," she explained unnecessarily.

"And James never goes back on a promise," he filled in. "I know. I was shocked you managed to wrestle it out of him. Don't really want to know how, though."

She grinned nervously as he escorted her out the door. The Great Hall was like a dream, transformed by frosted sculptures and hovering white flames. A formal orchestra was playing at one end of the hall near the enormous Christmas tree, but she knew that was more for show than anything else. Once the pleasantries had been dispensed with, a popular rock band would come in to play and several of the Professors would bid them goodnight. She reckoned even with all the mayhem the school had endured, this night would be a fair bit more peaceful without James and Sirius around to play their customary pranks. Besides, when James did arrive, she was determined that he'd have more important things to do than spike the punch bowl.

"Would you care to dance while you wait?" Remus asked gallantly, offering his hand with a warm grin. She accepted easily. She even danced with Peter afterward. Then Frank. And then several other boys. Everyone seemed to be on their best behavior, but James didn't come.

"I think I'll go get some air," she said finally, fanning herself and giving Thomas Tugwood from Hufflepuff House a stunning smile. "It's a bit stuffy."

"I'll come with you," he offered quickly, his goofy grin nearly stretching off his face. Leaning close, he lowered his voice for her ears alone. "Wouldn't mind a bit of a snog, if you're interested."

"No, that's alright," she replied with a touch of alarm, motioning him to stay like a dog before bolting for the door. It was a crisp, cool night and snow floated down like feathers from the puffy gray clouds. She could just see the moon, fat and nearly full as it bathed the frozen scene in light. Hugging herself, she glanced around anxiously.

"You really shouldn't be out here by yourself, Lily," Severus suddenly spoke from behind her.

She spun quickly, taking in his formal black robes and slicked back hair. Belatedly, she forced a smile. "It's hot in there."

Severus nodded thoughtfully, his dark eyes turning to the frozen fountain at the center of the courtyard. "You sure that's it? You look like you're waiting for someone." She glanced away automatically, forgetting there was really no reason for her to feel guilty. "In fact, you've been looking for someone all night, haven't you?"

His voice was at its most surly. She hated when he was like this. So dead set he was right that he wouldn't listen to anyone else. More irritating still was that his instincts were most often correct. After a moment, she decided not to pretend. He really had no business in her personal life anymore after the way he'd been acting. Besides, she had no reason to be ashamed.

Looking him rebelliously in the eye, she nodded. "He promised he'd come see my dress."

To her surprise, the thin boy let out a soft little chuckle and moved forward to lean his arms on the railing beside her. "Well, he lied then, didn't he? Are you surprised?"

"He didn't lie," she said stubbornly, resenting him for voicing the thought she'd been trying so hard to keep out of her mind.

He raised a dark eyebrow at her before looking away. "It's nearly midnight. I reckon if Potter was coming, he'd have been here by now."

"He'll come," she insisted with more confidence than she felt.

Straightening suddenly, Severus took a quick step toward her. He was so close that she felt the urge to back off, but she didn't. She wasn't afraid of him and, in spite of everything, she didn't hate him either. When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly gentle. "I'm not blind, Lily. I saw what happened between you two. And I... I just wanted you to know... He's a fool for leaving you alone. You look... _so_ beautiful."

"Alright there, Snape?" a voice suddenly called from the darkness.

Lily tensed as four Slytherins joined them in the walkway, both the boys and girls regarding her with nasty grins. Leering into her face, Rabastan Lestrange shot him a sly look. "Found a little pet to play with, have you?"

In a blink, Severus' face has gone cold and aloof. His shoulders rolled in a disinterested shrug. "I just saw her loitering and figured I'd warn her about the dangers of being out on her own at night. No telling what sort of predators could be lurking about."

This seemed to amuse the others and Lily's skin began to crawl as they cackled. Leaning forward, Farrah McLeod gave her a nasty appraising look that seemed better suited for surveying cattle than looking at a person. "I'll admit, Sev, she's not half bad for a mudblood. You should definitely fuck her while her watch dog is off on his adventures."

Lily saw Severus stiffen slightly out of the corner of her eye, but he only smiled. "No thanks. Wouldn't want to dirty my cock with this one. No telling what's catching..."

She shot him a furious look, but the others laughed. She'd never understood this part of him. His need for approval from people he didn't even like. It caused him to treat her coldly in public, even before he'd stopped talking to her. As far as she knew, he'd never once came to her defense.

Trying hard not to show her hurt, she said, "I guess I'll go inside then. Wouldn't want to infect any of you with my presence."

"Hang on, love," Cygnus Falter grinned, catching her by the shoulders in an iron grip. "He didn't mean to offend you. Been wanting to give you a hard shag for ages, old Severus has. And who knows what good could come of loosening up your tight ass?"

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment even as her hand strayed to her wand. Catching the movement, Lestrange jumped forward to stop her, twisting her arm painfully while his friends urged him on. "What you think you're gonna do with that, sweetheart? Another funny little jinx? I've got a better wand for you to play with if you're looking for some fun."

"Fuck you!" she spat, struggling vainly as he captured her other arm and wrenched them both behind her back.

"I think that's the idea," his date giggled. "'Bout time someone put you in your place, stinking mudblood."

Lily shot a panicked look at Severus and any hope of rescue immediately shriveled in her chest. His eyes were cold. Inscrutable. Like she didn't even matter. It was particularly frightening since he had just been behaving... well, passionately.

"Severus?"

"Wrong name, Evans," Lestrange sneered, capturing her wrists with one hand while he reached around to grope her front with the other. The force of his hands was sure to leave bruises and she struggled vainly against him. "Try calling for Potter. I'm sure he'll come save you."

She shrieked as McLeod grabbed a fistful of her hair, dragging her painfully forward at an awkward angle. "Potty! Potty! Where are you?" she shouted, pretending to listen for a moment before pouting dramatically. "I don't think he's coming, lovey."

Gritting her teeth, she stomped backward, sending Lestrange howling as her spiked heel dug into his instep. Before the others could react, she grabbed her wand and shot a hard jet of water into McLeod's face. Her dress tore as she finally wrenched herself free, but the others didn't move as she trained her wand on them. "I _don't_ _need_ James to protect me. I can handle myself."

"Oh yeah?" Falter grinned, holding his wand out fearlessly. "Well it's still five to one, mudblood. You fancy those odds?"

"Make that five to four," Frank suddenly spoke up behind her. "And yeah, I do."

Lily glanced back nervously to find that her friends had finally noticed her absence and come to the rescue. All except Lupin, who as her date was conspicuously absent. She turned back with a confident grin and tilted her head to the side. "Come along, then. Let's see what happens when Gryffindors get backed into a corner."

Snarling, Falter attacked with a vicious blast from his wand. Frank intercepted it by throwing up a shielding charm and Peter strode forward without hesitation, socking him right in the face. Letting out a feral cry, McLeod flew at him, but Lily hit her with a body-binding curse that stopped her dead before she toppled forward. She was only saved from a nasty face-plant on the icy walk by Lestrange catching her. The other girl raised her wand, but Alice disarmed her with a word. The group glared at them spitefully. It was clear who had the advantage.

Severus was the first to walk away. She noticed with irritation that he looked angry. As though _she_ had done something wrong by defending herself. The others slowly followed after him, but not before McLeod spun to threaten, "You lot'll get yours!"

"I'll have a rematch any time you like," Alice replied aggressively.

No one moved until they were sure they had all gone inside. After that, it seemed like the night opened up once more. They could finally breathe. Lily suddenly realized she was cold as Alice moved forward to put her arms around her. "You okay? Oh, Lily, you're bruising-"

"I'm fine," she said quickly, turning to look at Peter. "Where is he?"

The blonde boy's eyes widened in surprise before glancing around curiously. "Dunno. He was just with us-"

"She means James," Alice clarified intuitively. "She's hurt and upset and he is very late. But where _did_ Remus go?"

Before they had a chance to look around, Remus rushed up looking decidedly uneasy. Running a hand through his hair, he jerked his head to the side with a pointed look. "Need a word, Wormtail."

"What is it?" Lily asked softly. She could tell by the tense way he held himself that something was very wrong. Without being told, she knew he'd received bad news and her stomach sank. "James-?"

Forcing a smile, Remus shook his head. "It's nothing to concern yourself with, Lily. They've just hit a rough patch. Pete, we _really_ need to talk."

Lily clenched her teeth against the tears burning her throat. Seeing her distress, Alice stepped forward to catch his arm. Giving him a pleading look, she said, "If it were Frank, I'd want to know what was going on, Remus. It's not fair to keep her in the dark."

"Besides, if there's trouble you'll be needing a few extra hands," Frank pointed out practically.

"Yes, but involving Lily is exactly what James _and _Sirius warned us _not_ to do," Remus replied stubbornly.

"I don't give a _flying fuck_ what James and Sirius want right now," Lily swore, raising her wand with a dangerous glint in her eye. "You tell me what the _bloody_ hell is going on _right_ now, Remus Lupin, or so help me I'll curse you into next Thursday."

"A bit counter intuitive, that," Alice said gently.

"Lily," Frank said reasonably, putting a hand on her arm to hold her back, "you just got attacked. You're not thinking straight. James can take care of himself. And Sirius-"

Spinning on her heel, she glared at him. "Why the _fuck_ does everyone think he's so bloody invincible? He's brilliant, I know, and too talented for his own good, but he and Sirius are _just_ boys fighting a war that is far too big for them. They need help like everyone else and James-" Her voice broke as tears sparkled in her eyes, but she took a deep breath and clenched her fist so that her nails bit into her palm. "Nothing would stop him from coming for me. _Nothing_, Frank. He's in trouble. He needs me." She turned back to Remus with a dark look. "And you are wasting time."

Remus glanced nervously at Peter before finally nodding. "Come on. We need to talk in private."

They convened in the Head common room. Lily took less than a minute to change as she practically flew out of her dress and returned gathering her hair up into a tight ponytail. Once she was ready, Remus began pacing. "I got an owl from Sirius... It- it's bad. They were going to scout. Had news about a hideout for... Voldemort."

"They were only supposed to look around. Find out if he was really there or not," he rushed on. "Something went wrong. Si didn't put any details in his note, but he's lost his wand and James is..."

"Captured," Frank finished for him. "Oh god."

"Where are they?" Lily asked in a hard voice. She couldn't think beyond action. Beyond being furious enough to kill. If she did, she might go to pieces.

"An old monastery outside Firehill," Remus admitted quietly. "Frank, I reckon you, me, and Peter can go meet Sirius in the woods nearby-"

Peter, who had been cradling his right hand silently, raised the other with a tortured look. "I don't think so, mate. I'm pretty sure I broke my hand on Falter's face."

"It's fine, Peter. I'll go," Lily said quickly, pushing herself to her feet. All three boys started to deny her, but she shook her head at them. "You need me. I can help."

"Me too," Alice volunteered.

"No," Frank vetoed automatically. "You're not coming, Al."

"Neither of you have any place-" Remus began.

"Look will you quit arguing?" Lily practically shouted, dangerously close to tears. "James could be..." She couldn't say it. Instead, she took a calming breath. "We're wasting time. If you don't let me go with you, I'll find my own way. Alice, stay here with Peter. Please? One of us is enough for the pair of them to worry about."

The petite blonde gritted her teeth angrily and Remus gave her a stern look. "Lily, trust me. I'll bring him back to you."

She turned her back on his entreaties, heading toward the door without a backward glance. The boys had to jog to catch up with her. It was obvious neither of them approved of her presence, but they didn't doubt her determination. And, in spite of everything, they would need all the help they could get.

"Sirius sent me the coordinates, so I have a rough idea of where we're going," Remus told them shortly as they crossed the frozen lawn. "If you hold onto me while we apparate, I can direct you."

Lily and Frank nodded grimly. The minute they set foot outside the gates, they caught his arms and disapparated. They arrived in a forest. Trees towered ominously over them, glowing like bare bones in the moonlight without a single leaf gracing the deadened branches. A carpet of debris clattered brittlely over the hard ground, pushed along by a howling wind. Little needles of ice stung every inch of exposed flesh as they surveyed the desolate woods.

The light brush of footsteps rushing their way brought Lily around and she stared in horror as something not quite human stalked toward them. The long, lithe body was clad in black robes that stood out starkly against pale gray skin. There wasn't a hair on its bony head and crystalline eyes glittered bizarrely in the moonlight. More horrifying still was the unnaturally empty space above a ragged mouth. A pair of tiny slits took the place of a proper nose.

"Blimey, am I glad to see you guys," Sirius' voice came from the creature's lips, stopping all three of them from hexing him on sight.

Lily blinked in surprise, startled when Remus laughed, striding forward to catch the monstrosity in a tight hug. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you, mate? _Voldemort?_ You used a charm to look like the man himself-"

"Can you think of a better way to waltz into his lair undetected?" Sirius shot back wickedly.

"Unquestioned? No. Undetected? Absolutely. You are completely insane, Padfoot," Remus told him with grudging admiration.

"Like it was my idea," he scoffed. "And it was working rather well until the cloak slipped and they realized there were two of us."

"Can we save the explanations for later?" Lily cried impatiently. "Where is James? What's going on?"

In an instant, Sirius' morphed face went stern and angry, an eerily frightening sight in the gloom. He pointed at her. His fingers were long and bony, tipped by sharp, dirty nails that had been filed to points. "What's _she_ doing here?"

"Saving my boyfriend's ass," she replied heatedly. "Now let's get to it. I don't want to have this argument _again_."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a significant look before he sighed, reaching up to agitatedly scratch behind his pointed ear. "I got hurt. I wasn't watching myself. We were cornered. Couldn't get out. When Prongs saw that I couldn't fight, he blasted half the ceiling away before stunning me and hiding me. They must've thought I escaped. I woke hours later. Couldn't find my wand. Can't even take off this sodding disguise. I know where they're keeping him, but it's bad. Voldemort- he's here. The real one. Doesn't seem to think it's very funny to find his doppelganger infiltrating the base."

"Let's go then," Frank spoke up quickly.

"That's not so easy, mate," Sirius said grimly. "Security's been a little tighter since I escaped."

Shooting him an impatient look, Lily paced over to the edge of the trees to stare at the looming shadow of the monastery. It was set up on a hill, surrounded by once thick walls that were now crumbling with age. The lea was unnaturally barren, like a wasteland without trees or bushes for cover. Easily defensible.

Gritting her teeth, she motioned to a point of inky blackness at the base of the slope. "What's that?"

"Catacombs," Sirius said shortly. "It's the way I came out. There's four guards posted at all times on a rotating schedule. Anti-apparition wards throughout the entire place, so far as I can tell, along with some nasty traps for anyone nosing about where they don't belong."

"We have the cloak, yeah? Then we're not completely hopeless," Remus mused thoughtfully. Lily and Frank gave him identical curious looks and he winced uncomfortably. "We... have an invisibility cloak."

"Well, that helps," Frank said dryly.

Biting her lip, Lily glanced up at the cloudy sky. "Is it big enough for all of us?"

"Should be," Sirius nodded. "You're rather small and it fits three comfortably."

"Then we just need a distraction," Lily surmised, raising her wand to the sky.

It only took a little coaxing for the storm to become a blizzard. They were able to sneak up to the entrance without being noticed. The four guards never knew what hit them. Keeping his voice low as Sirius filched a wand, Remus said, "Right. No time for vendetta. We're strictly here on a rescue operation. Prongs is our _only_ objective. Got that, Padfoot?"

"I'm not the one you should be warning, mate," Sirius grinned grimly. "Evans looks like she's out for blood."

Her teeth bared wolfishly as they made their way inside, but she refrained from responding. The thought of James being hurt or worse made her a little crazy. She didn't want to consider what she would do. Especially since she'd always regarded herself as a rather passive person. Never wanted to hurt anyone, even if they deserved it. This new urge toward violence was frightening.

"Damn, I can't smell a bloody thing," Sirius muttered suddenly, making Lily glance at him in confusion. "I'll be relying on you if there's danger, Moony. Never knew what kind of daft bloke would wake up one day and cut his nose off to spite his face. Guess I do now..."

"Couldn't live up to your name a little more, could you chap?" Frank asked in a hushed, anxious voice.

"Don't mind him," Remus assured him as he glanced stealthily around a corner. "It's how he copes with the strain. We've always worried about the pair of them getting themselves killed giggling over their own witty dialogue. Not at all stealthy, but it helps them keep their heads."

"Gallows humor is very important when you're nearly trying to kill yourself all the time," Sirius explained dryly.

At the head of the pack, Remus stopped suddenly. There was nothing in front of them but a bare hallway. He seemed to sniff the air experimentally, but Lily knew why. So close to the full moon, his senses would be heightened. Perhaps he really could smell danger.

"There's something off here," he murmured slowly, rummaging in his pocket. He withdrew a brass knut and carefully tossed it onto the ground ahead of them. It bounced and rolled forward for just a moment before sinking out of sight. "Thought so. It's too damp. Must be a sand trap. Hate to see what's under it."

"How'd you do that?" Frank asked, a little bit awed by the Marauders living up to the rumors.

"More to the point, how are we going to get across?" Lily asked impatiently.

Frowning, Sirius edged forward to test the pit. "Must be a path somewhere."

"Or we could just..." She swished and flicked her wand at him, nearly causing him to yelp as he lifted off his feet and went sailing to solid ground at the end of the hall.

Once he had landed, he turned to give her a rabid grin and two thumbs up, an odd sight since he still looked like the dark lord. "Nice one, Evans. I now approve of my best mate shagging you."

"Oh, is that what he's been waiting for?" she mused as she sent the other boys to join him.

Sirius and Remus exchanged identical looks of long suffering as she followed them over with Frank's assistance. She almost didn't hear him when Remus shook his head and mumbled, "Actually, he's been mostly concerned about whether he'll live or not."

"No good to get you knocked up if he's just gonna die," Sirius added cheerfully.

"Wouldn't hurt to focus on the matter at hand, would it?" Frank snapped as voices echoed up to them from deeper in the labyrinth.

Completely unimpressed by the brevity of the situation, Sirius shrugged. "Cell's just up ahead anyway. I'll take the cloak and go check it out. If he's not there, maybe I can use this ugly mug to bluff our way in."

"I'm coming with you," Lily announced stubbornly. Sirius immediately began shaking his head. "You'll need someone to back you up-"

"Moony can do that," he interrupted quickly. "Or Frank. Really anyone but you."

"You're not gonna convince her, Sirius," Frank sighed wearily. "And we're only wasting more time arguing. Possibly getting discovered. Blowing the whole thing before it starts. It's your call, really."

Lily couldn't help a smug smile as he grudgingly allowed her to throw the cloak over their heads and set off in the direction of the voices. Within a few steps, the sounds became more distinct.

"What's your name?"

There was a loud grunt of pain, then a low chuckle. "Must be some billywigs in here. I think I felt a sting."

"Insolent bastard," the first voice growled furiously. James let out another low cry. "Who sent you?"

"Definitely billywigs," James repeated thoughtfully. "Must be an infestation. 's why your head looks so lumpy, yeah?"

"That's my boy," Sirius breathed. "Don't give 'em an inch, Prongs."

A single guard was waiting outside the iron door, swathed from head to toe in midnight black robes with a silver mask completely obscuring the face. The mask turned toward the door as James cried out once more and Lily bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, clenching her fists in the back of Sirius' robes to keep herself still and silent. He reached back, catching her hand and squeezing reassuringly as he pressed her backward.

"No Voldemort," he whispered, drawing away from the cover of the cloak. "I'll get us in. Stick close and follow my lead."

Her pulse was throbbing at an alarming rate as she trailed stealthily after him. The moment the guard at the door saw him, he went rigid. Sirius barely spared him a superior glance as he approached the door. "Open."

Her blood seemed to freeze in her veins at the sound of that cold, dispassionate voice. The one word dripped with authority and deadly intent, leaving no room for anything but absolute obedience. She knew what a good mimic Sirius was. It was almost uncanny the way he could change his voice to emulate his peers, usually while he was making fun of them. The fact that this was most probably the way the Dark Lord spoke made it even more terrible.

The guard didn't even think to challenge him, but opened the door and let them through. It was a dark, close chamber with only a pair of torches to shed light on the miserable scene. The walls were honeycombed with niches filled with brittle bones and the air stank of smoke and blood. Lashed securely to a chair by hands and feet, James sat with his bald head held high, his eyes sharp and unafraid.

The deadened lips twisted into a wry grin as he spotted Sirius. "Alright there, Voldy? Just couldn't stay away, could you?"

The Death Eater who had been questioning him cuffed him sharply. "Do not _dare_ address the Dark Lord-"

"Silence." A single admonition sliced through the minion's objections like a knife. The man instantly subsided, but Sirius didn't even spare him a look as he studied James' rebellious face. "What have you learned?"

"Nothing, my lord," the man spat contemptuously. "This one is being incredibly... difficult. And we have yet to discover the counter-spell to remedy his unfortunate appearance."

Sirius' lips lifted in a deadly smile that made Lily's eyes water in fear. James didn't flinch. Instead, he grinned madly. "Not a very kind thing to say to your boss, Karkaroff. Makes it sound like you don't appreciate his sinister good looks."

"I grow tired of this imbecile," Sirius sighed dismissively. His eyes flicked to the robed figure. "If he refuses to respond to persuasion he only wastes our time."

"My lord," Karkaroff objected as Sirius paced forward. Lily was watching him like a hawk and couldn't miss the discrete twitch of his borrowed wand as he motioned to her. "I can break him. If you'll give me more time-"

"Time?" Sirius repeated in a deadly growl. He turned his head deliberately slowly to give the man a cold look. "You want more time?"

Moving silently, Lily positioned herself behind James and used her wand to loosen the enchanted bindings. Through the cloak, she touched his hands. He didn't move. Didn't give any hint that he had felt anything unusual.

Karkaroff seemed on edge as he stuttered through an explanation, his Russian accent becoming more pronounced with his panic. "My Lord, he is obstinate, but he's more use to us alive. We've yet to discover even his name or the most rudimentary purpose for his infiltration."

Abruptly, Sirius held out his hand. "You have his wand, Karkaroff?"

The man seemed to jump in surprise. Fumbling in his robes, he nodded, "Of- of course, my lord."

Turning fluidly, Sirius pressed the wand tip between James' eyes. Rather than being afraid, James grinned at the obvious threat. "You have three seconds."

"Think I'll suddenly be frightened seeing it's you?" he quipped arrogantly.

"One," Sirius hissed.

"Do I look like a little girl?" James taunted fearlessly. "Pigtails and pissing my frilly little knickers? I know that'd be easier for you to finish off than your own beloved reflection-"

"Two."

"Most like I figure you just enjoy killing by now," James continued doggedly. "Always knew you were _up to no good_."

"Three!"

In a flash, James' hands flew up to capture the wand while Sirius spun and put a silencing charm on the door. Not missing a beat, Lily hit Karkaroff with a stunning spell that sent him flying against the wall before he crumpled to the floor. James and Sirius shared an eery grin.

"Knew you'd come back, mate," he chuckled as his friend helped him laboriously to his feet. His legs didn't seem to be working very well.

"I can't believe they didn't guess the counter-charm was Unvoldify," Sirius chuckled, undoing the spell so that a very beaten and weary looking James shimmered into view. Lily's breath caught at the blood seeping from a deep wound just visible above the collar of his black robes.

"How'd you get ahold of Moony?" James asked, peering toward the blank space where Lily stood beneath the cloak.

"Let's talk about that later," Sirius murmured awkwardly. "We've still gotta get you out of here."

Biting her lip, Lily held up the cloak so that James could shelter beneath. Without his glasses, he hadn't been able to see who was helping him, but he had to touch her at some point. As her arms circled his torso to keep him standing, he stiffened. "_Lily?_"

"Later," she hushed him.

Sirius had already turned to the door. Glancing over at the guard he murmured, "Help Karkaroff dispose of that sot."

"Yes, my lord," the man said obediently, turning to move inside without hesitation. Lily and James were ready, disabling him before he could take a single step inside. After that, they simply dragged him into the corner and locked the door behind them.

Remus and Frank were waiting anxiously where they had left them just a matter of minutes before. They straightened nervously as Sirius approached and he grinned buoyantly. "Mischief managed. Let's get the hell out of here."

"The prisoner has escaped!" a voice shouted from the direction of the cell.

"I think that's our cue to run," Remus grinned, appearing to revel in the danger as Lily and James emerged from the cloak.

They raced back the way they had come. Frank assisted Lily in supporting James while Sirius and Remus took care of any Death Eaters unlucky enough to cross their paths. She could tell James was furious. He wouldn't even look at her, leaning heavily on Frank as they escaped into the empty field.

It was almost a clean break. There was a moment where they felt a bright shaft of hope that it would really be that easy. Before it could take root, however, an ominous figure appeared in front of them, cutting off their escape.

"_Crucio!_" the Dark Lord hissed, gouging his wand at Remus.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Sirius countered.

Neither spell managed to find it's target as Voldemort broke off his attack in order to defend himself. Lily's heart stuttered in fear as she realized they were being surrounded. Death Eaters flooded the field behind them and it was all she and Frank could do to ward off their attacks and keep James on his feet.

"I can manage!" he shouted, gripping his wand and shooting off a series of stunning spells that landed with deadly accuracy.

Desperate to fight off the attacks, Lily used the first spell she could think of which caused an enormous explosion that blasted most of the Death Eaters back. Frank gave her a wry grin as he incapacitated one of the few to escape, knocking the robed figure into the massive crater. Meanwhile Sirius, Remus, and James rushed forward to attack Voldemort. The Dark Lord, however, had finished playing nice. His icy eyes seemed to glow as he trained his wand on James. "_Avada-_"

"_Expelliarmus!_" Dumbledore roared behind him.

For just an instant, an unmistakable look crossed his snakelike face: fear. Terror, really. But it was almost immediately absorbed by such fiery hatred that Lily's knees began to shake. A deafening concussion like a bomb going off burst around them, knocking them off their feet as blinding light dazzled their eyes. By the time they had recovered, he was gone. Disapparated along with all of the Death Eaters that were still conscious. Tense silence fell over the ruined landscape.

"That manky bastard was using _my_ wand!" Sirius cried suddenly, his humor rippling oddly through the sudden calm. He had found the discarded wand sticking straight up in the hard ground beside him, the tip smoking from the impact of Dumbledore's attack.

After a long pause, James started laughing, swiftly followed by Remus. Grimacing in pain from the half dozen injuries she had received during the brief battle, Lily crawled laboriously to her feet. Frank wasn't doing much better. He had a nasty cut over his right eye and his arm hung limply at his side, but his grin was nonetheless triumphant as he nodded at her.

"Who the _fuck_ invited Evans?" James suddenly shouted, sitting helplessly on the ground as he glared at his comrades.

"No one, Prongs," Sirius shook his head wearily, stumbling over to help him to his feet.

"I came on my own," she supplied rebelliously.

"Like anyone could stop her," Remus muttered. "She'd probably have killed me if I'd tried any harder."

Before James could snap out a witty retort, Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder. His expression was that of a worried father as he surveyed the boy's haggard face. "Perhaps we could discuss this matter more comfortably in the infirmary?"

Before anyone could respond, he disapparated, dragging James along with him. Seeing no help for it, the rest of them followed. Arriving just outside the grounds, they encountered the headmaster supporting him as they moved toward the castle. Though he was clearly weak and nauseated from the trip, James glared at him irritably.

"Don't think you're not in trouble too," he grumbled in a startlingly familiar tone. "_You_ promised to keep her at the school."

"_What?_" Lily called in outrage, looking suspiciously at the older wizard.

His expression was remarkably sheepish as he met her gaze. "Miss Evans, I think it's time for you to learn the truth about why Mr. Potter left the school."

"I _asked_ to go," James insisted sullenly.

"And I gave him my permission," Dumbledore admitted. "In fact, I've been helping him."


	19. Chapter 19

Considering the fact that all except Remus were injured, the Headmaster asked them to wait for further explanations until they had received some medical assistance. Giving James over to the care of his friends, he hurried off to report the events of the evening. Alice and Peter were already waiting for them by the time they reached the hospital wing. Roused from her bed and still in her nightclothes, the school nurse was less than pleased to have four patients on her hands.

"I swear, some days I don't know what to do with you lot," she scolded as she helped James into bed. Lifting the hem of his robes, her professional expression slipped into horror. "Oh my dear lord..."

"I'm _fine_ Poppy," he said impatiently, twitching the clothing back into place to cover the appendage that had fragments of bone bristling from the bloody skin like porcupine quills. "Look after Sirius and the others."

The nurse's sharp eyes snapped irritably. "Oh, hush up, Potter. The bones in your leg are completely splintered. I don't see how you were even _walking_, let alone-"

"Si probably has a concussion and Evans won't stop bleeding. I'll live. They might not," he interrupted angrily. In spite of his concern, he still wouldn't look at Lily. He hadn't said a single word to her since the rescue.

"Thank you for telling me how to do my job," Madame Pomfrey snapped, pushing James firmly back into the pillows. "Everyone will receive the treatment they need, Potter, but you've lost quite a bit of blood too from the looks of things. Besides, I doubt Minerva would ever forgive me if I allowed her star chaser to be permanently crippled."

"I can still fly with a gimpy leg, Poppy!" he shouted before thrusting his finger in Lily's direction. "Look after Evans before she faints!"

"I'll be fine with a clotting potion," Lily said sincerely. She was feeling admittedly light-headed, but it was nowhere near as bad as he obviously imagined. "Look after James."

"Maybe we should all stop badgering Poppy," Remus spoke up quickly, moving to the cabinet for a few potions while Alice bandaged Frank's head.

She shot him a grudgingly appreciative look before motioning to the second shelf. "Fetch the skel-o-grow for me as well, Lupin? There's a good lad."

Smoothing his hair back from his head, Lily heard Alice chide Frank gently: "You see? This is what happens when you run off without me."

"It was too dangerous, Al," he reminded her softly. "We didn't even know what we were getting into."

"I don't care," Alice argued in a quiet voice, tears springing abruptly to her eyes. "I can't just sit here safe waiting to find out if you're going to come back to me."

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," he told her earnestly. His hand came up to cup the back of her neck, pulling her forward to press a tender kiss to her lips. "And I don't want to live if I can't see this face every day."

Alice couldn't stop the pleased blush that crept into her cheeks, even as she tried to frown at him. Biting her lip, Lily turned away to give them a little more privacy. Remus was administering a potion to Sirius for his head while Madame Pomfrey removed the remaining bones in James' leg. She watched as he took the potion without argument, only giving a nasty grimace after swallowing.

"I'll have one of the boys send off an owl to your parents first thing in the morning," she assured him gently as she eased him back onto the pillows. "You sure you don't want a sleeping potion or something for the pain?"

"_No one_ is contacting my parents," James insisted petulantly, smoothing the hair at the back of his head guiltily. "They don't know I left the school."

This news brought on a sharp look from the nurse, but he only glared at her and she didn't ask any more questions. She was well acquainted with the Marauders, their mysterious injuries, and their stubborn refusal to provide any details concerning their adventures. Instead of nagging him, she set to work healing the other numerous injuries riddling his body.

"Here you go, Lily," Remus said kindly, offering up a precisely measured clotting potion.

She smiled at him as she accepted it, but kept her voice low as she glanced toward James. "He's pretty angry with me, isn't he?"

"That's putting it mildly," he acknowledged calmly.

"He'll forgive me, though," she said uncertainly. Her eyes flicked anxiously to her friend's face. "Right, Remus? I mean, he can't stay mad forever."

"I'm sure things will turn out," he assured her vaguely, patting her shoulder. "You really ought to take that before you loose any more blood."

Feeling less than encouraged, she did as he said, then lay back to wait patiently for Madame Pomfrey. Sirius had been injured worse than he'd let on as well, so it was nearly an hour before the nurse got to her. By that time, Lily was feeling vague, floaty, and unaccountably worried. She kept watching James. Waiting for him to turn to her and call her an idiot, but he didn't even acknowledge her. Reclining comfortably on the pillows, he had his eyes closed and was pretending to sleep even though he was scowling so fiercely that it looked painful.

"I suppose you won't be explaining what you lot were up to either, eh Evans?" she groused as she helped the younger girl to undress.

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," she sighed quietly.

Frowning, the older witch waved her wand, clearing up the blood and dirt so that she could get to the wounds. Lily kept her unfocused eyes fixed on the floor, trying hard to ignore the painful healing spells that cleared away the deep gashes on her side and the oozing gouge in her right calf.

A slight itching sensation slowly penetrated her dull senses, causing her to look up. She met James' eyes for the first time. He'd located his glasses, but his face was stony and impassive as they raked over her. Nearly delirious with fatigue, Madame Pomfrey had forgotten to close the drapes around her bed.

"These bruises look like hand prints, Evans," the nurse said suddenly, reminding her of her first altercation of the eventful evening.

Lily practically started in surprise when James' eyes narrowed. Covering herself with one arm, she closed the curtains with the other and shot the nurse an apathetic look. "They're fine. You should probably see to Frank's arm."

"Evans-" Madame Pomfrey protested in a hushed, worried tone.

She couldn't really blame her for her concern. The marks looked like she had been assaulted, but she only shook her head. "I'm fine, Madame Pomfrey. Can I go to my room now?"

Reluctantly, the older witch nodded. "If you like. You're welcome to stay here, though."

"Thank you," she said abruptly, turning to don her ruined clothing. By the time she pulled the sheet back, James was pretending to be asleep again. Biting her lip, she approached cautiously, but he didn't move. "Do you want me to stay with you, James?"

Her heart fractured when he refused to even acknowledge her. After a moment, Sirius shifted in the next bed. He had taken a sleeping potion so he was barely cognizant, but he gave her a warm smile. "Don't mind, Evans. I'll look after him."

Fighting tears, she nodded. "Thanks, Si."

"I'll be here, too," Remus assured her quickly. Peter nodded supportively behind him.

Seeing that she wasn't needed, Lily turned back to James. She didn't want to leave. More than anything, she wanted to pull up a chair and hold his hand the rest of the night. Part of her was afraid he'd simply disappear if she let him out of her sight, but she knew rationally there was no way he could _actually_ leave.

Careful not to bump him, she leaned in to press a light kiss to his forehead. "Send one of the boys if you need me. I'll come right away. And... and I love you, James. I'm glad you're okay."

His face remained smooth and impassive, but he was holding his breath. As though he was just willing her away. Fighting tears, she forced herself to walk calmly from the room. The moment the door closed behind her, however, she lost the battle. Hot tears burned her cheeks as she rushed through the halls. What was wrong with him? Couldn't he just be pleased they had all escaped with their lives? How could he be cross with her for being as devoted to him as he was to her? Was he the only one who could put himself in danger? The only one to make sacrifices?

Her mind roiled as she entered their apartments and moved straight into his room. Since he'd been gone, she'd been practically living in there. Sleeping in his bed helped her to feel close to him. It was comforting to at least see his things. Smell his scent on the pillows. Some mornings, she could almost pretend he was still there.

"Fucking idiot," she hissed to herself as she undressed and collapsed in the bed. She was so wound up, it took a long time to cry herself to sleep.

It was barely light when she felt the mattress depress beside her. She shifted before blinking sluggishly. Once she caught sight of James, panic flooded through her. Pushing herself up, she said, "What's wrong? Is everything okay? You can't leave again."

"I'm staying here, Evans," he replied in a quiet voice. His eyes were dark and remote as they moved over her face. "Dumbledore thinks it's best for us to lay low for a while."

She couldn't stop her relieved sigh, but refrained from touching him since he still seemed upset. Tilting her head to the side, she asked, "He was helping you this whole time? Why didn't you tell me?"

He nodded, looking away. "Dumbledore has a lot of connections. He'd spoken with me before about helping him out once I graduated. You probably don't know this, but the Potter family has always been very active working for equal rights for Muggles and non-humans. I've lost three cousins this year to Voldemort and his Death Eaters. One just disappeared, but the others were murdered. Horribly."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh James. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't want my parents to get involved," he explained quietly. "They deserve to have a little peace after all they've gone through. I'm really all they've got left."

She nodded in understanding, feeling terrible for him. Without looking at her, he said, "I think I owe you an apology, Evans."

"For what?" she asked innocently.

Taking a breath, he finally looked up at her. "I've been unfair to you."

Relief flooded through her and she smiled. "James, that's not-"

"All this time, I've been infatuated with you," he said with difficulty. "I've purposely prevented you from finding happiness with so many boys, just because I was petty and jealous."

She reached over to take his hands, but he withdrew them coldly. Something in her chest squeezed when he frowned at her. "When I saw you back there... in the catacombs... I realized that you weren't the reason I was doing any of this."

Her brow furrowed as she tried to understand what he was saying. "I'm doing this because it's important. I don't need someone to fight for. I already have a cause. And you... you're just not worth all this."

Her heart gave a hard thump before stopping completely. She felt like she couldn't breathe. "You don't mean that. You're just frightened of losing me. You-"

"I mean it, Evans," he cut her off in a hard voice. "I don't love you. What's more, I don't think I even want you anymore. You're too much of a liability."

"You're just saying that because you're cross," she practically shouted as painful tears flooded her eyes.

He gave her a small, pitying smile and shook his head. "I know this is hard for you to understand, Evans-"

"It's _impossible_," she cried angrily. "You love me!"

"I assure you, I don't," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Evans."

He didn't look sorry. He looked sympathetic. As though she had made a grave error and _he_ was taking pity on _her_. Cleaning up her mess out of the goodness of his heart. That superior expression was almost the worst, but she really couldn't imagine anything hurting more than the gaping hole he was carving in her chest.

"You're lying," she whispered.

He gave her a condescending smile. "Come now, Evans. Did you really think I could actually fall for someone like you? You have no family connections. No money. You have a little talent, but you're not really even that clever. I'm constantly rescuing you from your pointless, arrogant little adventures. Let's face it: at the end of the day, you're just a fat, bossy ginger."

She knew he was doing this on purpose. He was trying to hurt her so that she would leave him alone. He would have a target on his back now and he didn't want her to be involved. Didn't want to put her in danger. Knowing all of this, it still hurt worse than dying. It was like losing her father and mother all over again. Being betrayed and abandoned by her sister. Everything terrible that had ever happened to her rolled into a great big ball of agony.

She had to leave. Had to escape those cold, condescending eyes. He wouldn't stop telling her horrible things until she believed him. Until he had completely destroyed her trust. Trampled her feelings into the mud. Shattered any lingering desire to ever put herself in danger for his sake.

"I hope we can stay friends, but I understand if you-"

"It's fine," she whispered, ignoring her tears as she shoved back the covers and swung her feet to the floor. She couldn't look at him as she brushed out the door.


	20. Chapter 20

The only small mercy was that it was only a week of classes left before Christmas Holidays. James and Sirius resumed their places in the student body with relish, causing more mischief in five days than the rest of the term combined. Few people questioned their long absence. Most were just happy to have them back. First thing Monday morning, Marlene McKinnon attacked James in the Great Hall, hugging him so tightly that he swore his ribs cracked and kissing him on both cheeks before socking him in the jaw and blaming him for causing Gryffindor to lose their second Quidditch game.

"How d'you figure that, Mar?" he chuckled as he dodged another punch. "There's six other players on the team!"

"Come now, Potter, you know that you alone possess the ability to bring the fear of Godric Gryffindor coming back to haunt us if we lose," she replied cheerfully, socking him once more in the shoulder for good measure.

James grinned, reaching up to rumple his hair with his usual charm. Lily kept her head down through the exchange. It was still too painful to look at him. She couldn't even begin to reason with him because she couldn't bear to hear how many more inventive, insulting, hurtful things he could think to tell her about herself. It was like he could see through to each one of her weaknesses and he prodded them without conscience to see if she'd bleed.

Perhaps most infuriating of all was that he wasn't the least bit shy about being around her. In many ways, it was like they had never been together. He and his friends practically camped out in their common room every night playing games, cracking wise, and even occasionally doing homework. Lily had heard part of their conversation the night before when she'd gone through to her room.

"Knight to E4," James had suggested over his book with a thoughtful frown at the board.

"We've gone over this, Prongs," Remus muttered irritably. "If I want a match with you, I'll ask. Stop helping Wormtail or he'll never learn."

"But you never ask him because he always wins," Peter mused thoughtfully, reaching out to touch his Queen and getting a sharp no from James. Sirius gave her a warm smile as she made a circuitous path back toward the hallway.

"We just have different teaching styles," James replied lightly, keeping his eyes riveted on the board and consequently ignoring her completely. "I have you in three moves."

"Prongs," Remus said warningly.

"Try the Bishop, Wormtail," James advised carefully. "The other one. A little-"

"Do _you_ want to play, Prongs?" Remus asked in exasperation.

Messing up his hair and giving him an infuriating smile, he had calmly declined. Lily tried to pretend she didn't care, but it was a weak cover at best. She hated going to classes, but forced herself anyway. With their friends back, Remus and Peter left her largely alone. Frank and Alice were also so wrapped up in their own relationship that they were noticeably absent. She'd never felt so isolated, but she didn't complain. Honestly, she didn't know what to do.

"So I've decided you're coming home with me," Alice announced on Thursday morning during Herbology. "You can't just sit around here and mope the whole holiday. And you'd be the _only_ student staying, so that's no fun."

"I don't mind," she replied quietly, poking a long fork into a pile of meatballs and holding it out to her fanged geranium.

Alice bit her lip, studying her profile with a worried expression Lily could well understand. She looked ill. Since the weekend, she'd probably attended only a handful of meals and only picked at her food. She just didn't feel like eating anymore. Plus she couldn't sleep. The circles under her eyes were becoming so pronounced that she looked like a raccoon.

"Lily, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she said softly. "James isn't worth dying over."

She gave her friend a plastic smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'll be fine, Alice. He hurt me, so I'm allowed to be sad for a while. I'll snap out of it soon enough."

Alice gave her a skeptical look as she packed fertilizer around her screechsnaps. "What better way to snap out of it than having a distraction, yeah? If you come with me, I'll set you up with my cousin Teddy."

"Is that the one with the overbite or the one with the extra toe?" she asked distractedly as she shoveled another meatball into the plant's hungry trap.

"Neither. He's the gorgeous blonde one who plays in a band," Alice told her persuasively. "He's a muggle and afraid of flying, so you already have things to talk about. Plus, he shares your haughty disdain for all things sports-related."

"Sounds like a gem," Lily murmured sarcastically. "Where _have_ you been keeping him all this time?"

Chuckling, Alice said, "Oh, I've been saving the best stock to trot out when you're really in a lurch. So what do you say? Double date with Frank and me followed by heavy snogging?"

Lily shrugged noncommittally. She wasn't remotely interested, but she knew what Alice would say if she told her so. They'd had this conversation so many times over the past few days that she knew it by heart. James was an idiot. He wasn't worth all this heartache. She should move on and make him sorry he'd ever let her go. She didn't care. Her lack of feelings for _anything_ was rather frightening.

"I'll go home with you, Alice," Lily decided abruptly, making a conscious effort to fight the apathy. Her lips twitched in the semblance of a smile. "Thanks."

"My pleasure," she supplied softly, still worried in spite of her sudden acquiescence. Silence fell heavily between them as they finished preparing their plants for the break. At length, Alice sent her a curious look. "So... who sent you an owl this morning?"

Lily shrugged without looking up. "Mrs. Potter."

"Oh?" Alice asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"It's an invitation to their Christmas Ball," Lily supplied reluctantly.

"Oh," Alice repeated softly. She knew about the ball. Frank had already invited her to attend, which was also how Lily knew about it since the scroll was still sealed at the bottom of her bag. After a cautious moment, she asked, "Are you gonna go?"

"Maybe," she replied softly. When that didn't sound like enough, she shot Alice a rare ghost of a smile. "D'you suppose Teddy would like to take me?"

Relieved, Alice giggled pleasantly. "Probably not. He doesn't know anything about it. We could try my cousin Noel on Dad's side, though."

"Doesn't he have the-?" Lily gestured discretely toward her face.

"The one with the huge mouth. Yeah," she nodded humorously. "But he has a great personality."

"Well, that's a relief," Lily sighed, feeling marginally better for the first time in nearly a week as the class came to a close. Her stomach tied up once again, however, as she made her way to Transfiguration. James was in his usual place at the back of the class, flirting ostentatiously with no less than six girls. He was obviously doing his best to make it as easy as possible for her to hate him.

Frank gave her a kind smile as he took his seat beside her. After glancing back at the Marauders, however, he leaned close and asked, "Have you seen Lestrange lately?"

She frowned and shook her head. "No. Why?"

"Saw him in Ancient Runes this morning," Frank filled in quietly. "Says he fell down some stairs, but it looks like someone worked him over. Bad."

His eyes flicked pointedly toward James, but she simply shrugged. "He's always starting trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a row with someone."

Frank gave her an impatient look and leaned closer. "Yeah, well _I_ wouldn't be surprised if cracking the wanker's skull is the reason James had to order a new broomstick. He could've been running his mouth about what happened at the Yule Ball during quidditch practice. If James overheard him-"

"That's just speculation, Frank," she cut him off quickly. She knew he meant well, but it hurt too much to hope. With a bit of effort, she managed a small smile. "Thanks anyway."

In light of the holidays, Professor McGonagall showed a rare festive inclination by setting them to work transfiguring coat racks into Christmas trees with a promise of a special gift to the student who produced the most impressive display. The classroom was soon filled with music, lights, and laughter as the students tried hard to outdo one another. As usual, the Marauders quickly emerged at the front of the class with increasingly complicated and elaborate transfigurations.

For her part, Lily simply sat and stared pensively into space. Frank kept shooting her concerned looks, but when he asked what she was doing, she would simply shrug and say, "Planning."

She reached the end of the class without once using her wand, and couldn't help noticing McGonagall's concerned look as she asked for volunteers. The first few produced admirable trees, but nothing truly dazzling occurred until James' hand shot up. With a casual wave of his wand, the wooden pole blossomed into a sugar-coated gingerbread masterpiece that twinkled merrily with a rainbow of candy lights.

"Excellent work, Mr. Potter," McGonagall complimented, clearly impressed as she gazed around the room. "I'm glad to see your absence hasn't affected your studies. Does anyone think they can top this?"

Cursing silently to herself that things _would_ turn out this way, Lily slowly rose to her feet. Considering her utter lack of participation in class, McGonagall blinked in surprise, but nodded for her continue. Taking a deep breath, Lily focused on the coat rack and lifted her wand.

The wood seemed to melt into ether as it grew and twisted itself into a delicate, looping spectral tree that glowed like starlight. It was almost painfully beautiful to look at, stunning the other students into silence. After a breathless pause, Sirius raised his hand. "I vote for Lily's tree."

The decision was nearly unanimous, but Lily couldn't bring herself to feel any pleasure as she packed her things into her satchel. She was about to lift her bag over her shoulder when James and his flock of admirers brushed past. One of the girls wasn't paying attention and knocked her roughly, sending her things spilling over the floor.

"Watch it," she said impatiently.

"Sorry," Lily mumbled, keeping her head down as she stooped to retrieve her scattered possessions. Forgetting the girls, James dropped instantly to his knees in order to help. She glanced at him sharply before lowering her eyes once more. "I can manage."

"I know," he assured her softly, handing over a collection of books before reaching for his mother's invitation. Lily felt her cheeks heat unnecessarily as he examined the elaborate seal before offering it back. "So, are you coming?"

She shook her head slowly, refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't know."

"You should," he said simply. "It'll be a laugh."

Biting her lip, she shrugged her shoulders. "Frank and Alice are going, so I'll probably come too."

"Good," he nodded, looking pleased. She reached for her final quill and he suddenly snatched it away, causing her to finally look up in surprise. Searching her eyes, he gave her a friendly smile. "You did really well today, Evans. That tree was ruddy brilliant."

Her lips quirked in the thin semblance of a smile. "Thanks, professor."

Without thinking, he reached out to chuck his fingers under her chin and she jerked abruptly away, tears springing to her eyes. She nearly dropped her satchel as she straightened and rushed from the classroom. She could hear the girls he had been talking to muttering after her.

"What's _her_ problem?"

"Bet she finally figured out she fancied him."

"Poor thing. He's always leading her on."

"Right, like James Potter would ever be interested in someone like _her_."

Their harsh giggles grated on her nerves, but she kept her hand carefully off her wand as she strode quickly out of earshot. Any slight appetite she might have had curdled abruptly and she headed off toward the library. She managed to hide there most of the evening, only emerging in time for patrols with Maisy Owens. James was nowhere to be seen by the time she returned, but that was fine. She didn't want to see him. At least, she hoped if she kept telling herself that it might one day be true.

A heavy fog hung over the castle the next morning, defying the weak sun that twinkled on the frozen grass. Sticking close to Frank and Alice, Lily hurried to meet the train, taking special pains to ignore James and his friends. Decked out with an impressive rack of antlers and a red nose, James led the elvish Sirius and Remus and a very jolly Peter dressed as Father Christmas as they tromped around judging people on being naughty or nice.

"Capper- nice," Sirius winked at the star-struck fifth year, checking off his list.

"Cram- naughty," Remus called cheerfully. "I'm afraid it'll be coal for you this year, old boy."

"Denshaw," Sirius read aloud, glancing up to grin at the saucy brunette. "Very naughty. I'm afraid you'll have to work off your debt on Santa's North Pole, if you know what I mean."

Shaking her head, Alice muttered, "I swear if Pettigrew invites one more girl to sit on his lap, I'm going to scream."

Giving her a flirtatious grin as he slipped his arms around her waist, Frank asked, "Does that mean you won't be playing the Naughtiest Elf with me this Christmas?"

Lily bit back a sigh, trying to ignore their lovey banter as they boarded the train. She had a book to hide behind, but she could only pretend to read for so long while they snogged on the seat across from her. Muttering something about the bathroom, she eventually excused herself and ended up spending the majority of the train ride in the abandoned prefect compartment. It was ideal, except for the fact that she could hear the Marauders and their admirers laughing from the next compartment.

Alice's family lived in a cramped little flat on the outskirts of Chiswick. Her father, Tristan, worked for the Department of International Magical Cooperation while her mother, Wendy, owned a pastry shop downtown. Alice's younger brother, Gideon, was born without any magical abilities, but he didn't seem to mind. He'd seen how complicated her homework was and counted himself lucky.

They apparated directly into the bright turquoise parlor and received a jubilant welcome. Within hours, both girls were fed full to bursting- whether they liked it or not- and tucked into Alice's sunny yellow bedroom. Laying on her back on the squeaky camp bed, Lily passed the night staring at car lights passing on the ceiling.

She was up with the dawn and managed to have breakfast ready by the time Alice's family woke up. Moving into the kitchen on bare feet in her nightgown, Alice gave her a curious, grumpy frown. "It's the holidays, Lily. What are you doing up this early? And what is that?"

Lily glanced blankly at the table. "Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, and toast. I've also got coffee on and water boiling for tea."

Shaking her head, Alice pointed at the snarled mass of yarn in her lap. "I get the food. What's _that_?"

Sighing, Lily dropped her knitting needles on the table in disgust and reached for her tea. "It's _meant_ to be a scarf."

"You're knitting a scarf?" Alice asked incredulously, moving to collect a plate and pour herself some coffee.

Lily bit her lip against a bemused smile. "I was trying to."

"Well, this is a surprise," Alice's mother grinned as she entered the kitchen. "You should bring Lily home more often, Allie. She's my new favorite."

"If things go well with Teddy or Noel, maybe we could graft her into the family tree," Alice mused pleasantly, taking a seat beside her mother and tucking in to her breakfast. She shot Lily a curious look as she picked up the knitting needles to start over. "So... why are you trying to knit a scarf?"

"It was going to be my Christmas present for James," she admitted softly, working to carefully unravel the soft blue wool.

Frowning, Wendy peered at her over her cup of tea. Alice's face practically mirrored her mothers as she said, "You should probably burn that, then."

"Isn't there a spell for knitting?" Wendy asked curiously. "If you have to finish it, just use that."

"I wanted to do it by hand," Lily insisted. "My mum always said knitting a gift lets you put your feelings for someone in every stitch."

"God, do you want it to strangle him?" Wendy asked in surprise, making her daughter snort into her beans.

"Only if she uses magic, mum," Alice giggled.

Lily couldn't look at them as she wrapped the yarn delicately around the needles. "I don't hate him. He's only lying to protect me."

"And that makes it okay?" Wendy asked incredulously. "I know things are bad out there, but I'd kick Tristan's ass if he pulled that shit on me."

"What'd I do this time?" her handsome father asked with a touch of long-suffering as he entered, fully dressed in business robes.

Wendy gave him a fond grin as he kissed her and shook her head. "Not you. It's the Potter Problem."

"Aldan?" he guessed curiously as he lifted a piece of toast and egg off his wife's plate and headed for the coffee.

"His son," Alice sighed, rolling her eyes significantly. "He's being a total wanker. He's desperately in love with Lily and she's over the moon for him, but he's pushing her away because he has this mad idea that he's got to save the world and she can't get hurt while he's doing it. _I_ think she should just give up on him."

"What about a love potion?" Wendy proposed with an impish grin. "That's a thing, right?"

"Of course," Tristan smiled. "How do you think I got you to go out with me?"

Giving him a playful look, the older woman shrugged. "Considering that daft old face, I always assumed temporary insanity. Didn't realized you'd come prepared."

Tristan tilted his head thoughtfully at Lily as he leaned against the counter. "Have you tried sleeping with him?"

"Dad!" Alice cried in outrage. Her mother giggled at her discomfort while Lily gave him a wide-eyed stare.

"What?" he laughed. "In my experience, nothing makes a man so honest as a good, hard shag."

"He'll definitely tell you he loves you," Wendy laughed. "Even if he takes it back."

"Oh my god," his daughter moaned, dropping her red face into her hands. "I do not know you people!"

"Alice," her mother chided humorously, "it's not like you're children. I'm sure you and Frank are-"

"We're not talking about this!" she practically screeched.

"Talking about what?" Gideon asked curiously as he stumbled into the room.

"_Nothing!_" Alice cried in embarrassment.

Lily chuckled quietly at the interplay, but she working hard to remember what her mother had taught her about knitting. It had been ages ago and she had never fully mastered it, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying. She wasn't even sure she could really give James the present, but it just felt wrong to leave it unfinished. Maybe giving up on the scarf felt the same as giving up on him. She just wasn't ready for that yet.

She'd managed to make a little progress before Alice insisted that she get ready and dragged her out for some late Christmas shopping. The real reason for the outing was swiftly revealed, however, as they met Frank and Alice's _very_ handsome cousin at a local Indian restaurant. True to Alice's description, Teddy was charming company, but Lily couldn't bring herself to return his obvious interest.

"So? What do you think?" Alice asked eagerly as they checked their appearance in the bathroom.

Lily had gone in to use the toilet on her own and been followed, much to her chagrin. She shrugged awkwardly. "He's nice."

"Nice," Alice repeated in a disappointed tone.

Biting her lip, she searched for something more positive to say. "And he has very good teeth."

Raising an eyebrow at her, Alice shook her head. "You don't even like him a little, do you?"

"He's very nice," Lily insisted lamely.

"But he's not James," Alice filled in quickly.

"Maybe it's just too soon," she proposed, watching her friend as she fiddled with her hair. "I mean, we only _just_ broke up a week ago."

Slumping her shoulders, Alice heaved a heavy sigh before turning to give her a bracing hug. "Sometimes I think I could kill him for what he's done to you. He's _never_ been fair, Lily, yet you follow him around like a puppy."

Lily shook her head at her. "It's easy for you, Alice. Frank is very secure. Confident."

"And James _Potter_ isn't?" she asked incredulously.

Shrugging awkwardly, she tried to defend him: "James is just too far inside his own head to make good decisions right now. It's like he's trying to play out a game of chess before he makes any of the moves. One slip up and he thinks it's done."

"You've been thinking too much about the crazy, love," Alice told her gently. "It's starting to make sense."

"Oh, Alice," she sighed, turning toward the door.

"Don't you "_Alice_" me, Lily Evans," the smaller girl warned. "If it were up to me, he'd be pickling in his own juices right now."

Lily gave her a wry smile as she held open the door. "Well, at least you don't have to worry about him dropping in unannounced to randomly break up the date."

Hushing her dramatically, Alice peered around. "You _know_ if you talk about him it'll jinx us!"

Laughing genuinely, Lily rolled her eyes. James wouldn't come. She knew it, even though it didn't make her happy. The only reason he would come would be if she were in danger and there wasn't much danger to be had as they moved on to the aquarium. In fact, the only remotely dangerous thing they encountered during their date was Frank very nearly giggling himself silly over all the new muggle concepts.

"So, Teddy has a set tonight," Alice announced after Frank had to excuse himself for the fourth time over the announcer's explanation that primitive sailors had confused mermaids for manatees. "I figured we could go to the pub for dinner."

Lily bit her lip to avoid looking at the boy who was already slinging his arm around her shoulder in an uncomfortably familiar way. In her opinion, this date had already gone on long enough but he said, "Sure thing. Can't wait to show you all my best moves, Lil."

"And by moves he means his uncanny ability to play the guitar and sing whilst _not_ falling off the stage," Alice teased, shooting her a determined look.

"Great," she agreed helplessly, working hard to smile. What was with him? She looked like she'd been sick and he'd been fawning over her all day. Was he that desperate or did he see something she didn't?

The pub he was playing in was dank and crowded, even early in the night. Considering the sheer number of girls, Lily didn't have to guess why, but she was less than impressed when the band started playing. After a while, she caught herself wondering just how long they could sing about being misunderstood and sensitive.

"D'you want to dance?" Lily glanced up at the fourth stranger to ask her and shook her head with a tight-lipped smile.

"Oh, go on, Lily," Alice bellowed to be heard over the noise. Her cheeks were a rosy pink as she grinned at her from the shelter of Frank's arms. It was obvious she'd had a little too much to drink, but even that didn't stop her quest to see that her best friend had a good time. "He won't bite."

"Not hard, anyway," the handsome boy grinned.

Reluctantly, Lily allowed him to take her hand and lead her onto the packed dance floor, unsurprised when he suddenly became all hands. Leaning close to her ear, he shouted, "You like football?"

Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head.

"I play!" he continued doggedly. "Been scouted for England in the fall."

"I used my magical powers to rescue my friend from the most evil wizard of the century last week," she replied with an innocent expression.

The boy stared at her for a moment before laughing. "I'm serious!"

Biting her lip, Lily nodded earnestly. She was then forced to listen as he retold his exploits in her ear, taking advantage of the proximity to copiously grope her bottom. She nearly slapped him when he fastened his lips to her neck like a vampire. "I need a drink!"

He ignored her weak struggles as his hand roved beneath her skirt. "Don't worry, baby. I've got you."

Gritting her teeth, she brought her knee up between his legs and gave him a bright smile as he crumpled backward. "Looks like I got you too!"

The dance floor was so crowded that she could hardly move, but somehow she managed to push her way through. She couldn't reach Alice and Frank, so she signaled that she was hot and made her way quickly outside. It was snowing, tiny little specs of ice bouncing dryly on the concrete, but she didn't mind. The cool felt good after the close, smoky pub. She took great breaths of the icy cold air as she wiped the sweat from her face.

"Lookin' for a date, sweetheart?"

She glanced up and took a nervous step away from the three boys that were approaching. Smiling, she shook her head. "Just waiting for my boyfriend. He's still inside."

"I'll be your boyfriend, sweetheart," a boy with fluffy brown hair announced, throwing his arm around her neck before she had a chance to get away. "I'll show you a real good time."

"No, I don't want to," she protested angrily, dodging out from under his arm.

Before she could escape, however, his friends rushed forward to grab her. She screamed and fought as they hustled her into a nearby alley, receiving a sharp slap for her troubles. Her wand was safely in the pocket of her coat inside, making things a bit more complicated. If she accidentally did something now, it could really hurt them. Why did this keep happening to her?

The dirty light above suddenly shattered, plunging them into darkness and raining glass down on the men that suddenly paused in their assault. Lily froze for just an instant before wrenching herself free. Ignoring the cut on her forehead, she backed anxiously away, but the men didn't move. Didn't breathe. It was like they were transfixed in time, suddenly carved from wax.

A low woof brought her head up and she stared in surprise at an enormous black dog loping cheerfully toward her from the street. It sniffed and growled at the boys before rushing her legs, bouncing up and wagging its tail as her hands fell numbly on his head. She was stunned. The dog's long tongue lathed over her face as she knelt to brush her hands over his silky fur.

After a dull moment, she chuckled humorlessly. "I'm _so_ glad you've broken my heart to protect me, James. It's obviously working."

Gingerly placing its paw on her knee, the dog let out a low, sympathetic woof. She smiled, patting the animal's head before straightening to go inside. She couldn't just leave them that way. Bastards they were, it could cause some awkward problems if they were found. She just made certain to bring Alice and Frank out with her this time, though Frank was carrying his girlfriend over his shoulder.

"This keeps happening to you, Lily," Alice mused drunkenly as they made their way home.

"Tell me about it," she muttered unhappily. "I reckon I should appreciate James running interference all those years."

"Fuck that!" the upside down girl slurred, gesturing so wildly that Frank nearly lost his hold on her. "You are a _beautiful_, powerful witch. You can take care of yourself!"

"It's true, you know," Frank acknowledged softly. "He's being ridiculously overprotective. You've come such a long way in one term, who knows what you could accomplish?"

Lily nodded thoughtfully, coming to the sudden realization that they were right. She wasn't a liability. She could look after herself. She'd even saved _him_. What was his problem? How could he keep pretending that something horrible was going to happen? Was he _that _arrogant to think the _only_ dangerous thing in her life was her relationship to him? She said as much to her friends and they laughed.

"If arrogance translated into magical ability, James would be the most powerful wizard in history," Alice giggled drunkenly.

Frowning fiercely, Lily nodded. They were right. _She_ was right. James was wrong. He was overreacting and he was _wrong_. And she was going to tell him.


	21. Chapter 21

Accepting the invitation to the Potter's Christmas Ball was easy enough, but Lily quickly ran into a problem: she had nothing to wear. According to Frank, who had gone every year, the balls were ridiculously formal events. She didn't have the money to buy new robes. If she could mend the dress from the Yule Ball, she could possibly wear that, but she wasn't very good at that sort of thing. The day after she sent off her invitation, however, the problem was taken out of her hands.

She was finally sleeping through the night, but still woke up earlier than anyone else out of habit. Instead of simply lying in bed worrying about what she would do, she got up and took a shower before going into the kitchen to make breakfast.

She had just taken out the muffin pan when the bell rang. Glancing curiously at the clock, she hurried to open it and found a plainly wrapped package sitting innocently on the door step. There was no one in sight on the landing so she stepped over it to look down into the deserted street. Finding that also abandoned, she retrieved the box and moved back inside. Who would deliver a package at seven in the morning? She was still mulling it over when she realized her name was scrawled on the brown paper in elegant handwriting.

Frowning, she set the box on the table and tore at the wrappings. When she lifted off the lid, she found the most stunning gown she had ever seen nestled in white tissue paper. It was done up in cream and gold with layers of silk that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. A pair of gold shoes rested neatly in the bottom of the box. There was no note or any indication of where it had come from.

Holding the gown as though it might disappear, she rushed back into her friend's room and flipped on the light. "Alice!"

The sleeping girl groaned, twisting to shove her head under the pillow. "Too early!"

"Alice, I've got a dress!" she whispered urgently, moving over to hold it up in front of herself. "You see?"

Reluctantly, Alice peeked at her, then sat up in surprise. "Oh my gosh Lily, that's gorgeous! Where'd you get it?"

"Dunno!" she replied in excitement. "It was on the stoop! Had my name on it and everything."

Suddenly, Alice frowned. "Isn't that a bit dodgy? I mean, who knew you needed a dress?"

Biting her lip in indecision, Lily collapsed onto the bed beside her. "Frank knew."

"He would just give it to you," Alice pointed out reasonably. "He wouldn't muck about."

She glanced at the window, the happy bubble in her chest suddenly popping. "It was probably James, then. Maybe he sent it as an apology."

The thought made her sick, so she set the precious garment aside. She didn't need any more of his pity. She'd had enough of that to last her a lifetime. Alice gave her a sympathetic smile. "Why don't you owl Sirius? He'd know and he's been sort of helping you, so he probably wouldn't lie."

Gnawing her lip thoughtfully, Lily nodded. She sent the owl before she could change her mind, fully convinced that it was, in fact, from James. The only thing that was odd was that he would usually send a note. The mystery deepened, however, when Remus arrived at the house later that day asking to see the dress.

"Why?" Alice asked defensively as she let him inside. Lily would have stood to greet him, but she was too busy hiding the scarf she was knitting for James by sitting on it to do more than smile.

Shaking his head, Remus gave her a reassuring look. "It's probably fine, but I wanted to have a look. As a precaution."

"Does that mean James _didn't_ send it?" Lily asked cautiously.

He gave her an apologetic shake of his head. "He doesn't know anything about it."

"So he sent you to check it out?" Alice surmised with a disapproving frown.

Alice led him into her room and Lily quickly joined them after stuffing the still shapeless wad of yarn under a pillow. He went over every inch of fabric, inside and out, before glancing at her contemplatively. "You haven't tried it out, have you?"

She shook her head innocently. "I thought it was from James, so..."

Remus nodded in understanding. "It seems fine. Nothing unusual that I can detect. I'm just worried it might have a dormant crushing spell or something that will only activate when you put it on."

"That sounds a little far-fetched," Lily said skeptically.

"I've heard of much worse," he replied solemnly. "Seen some of it, too. Would you mind trying it while I'm here? Just in case."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "While you're _in_ here?"

"Of course," he said easily. "That way I can move quickly if something happens."

"Maybe you could turn around," Alice suggested diplomatically.

Sighing, Remus did as they asked. Lily reluctantly stripped out of her clothes and slipped into the dress, which was surprisingly light and airy. It clung perfectly to her body, showing off her slender frame and modest curves to perfection and setting off her pale skin so that it practically glistened. Once she was properly covered, she allowed Remus to turn around and his eyebrows immediately disappeared beneath his shaggy fringe.

He opened his mouth, but gibberish was all he could manage for several breathless seconds. "Ah... ha-ha-ha... ah... You... Wow."

"Smooth," Alice grinned smugly. "Is this how you sweet talk all the ladies, Remus?"

Shaking his head, he turned his eyes discretely to the side and swallowed convulsively. "H-how do you feel? Is it t-tight or... anything?"

"It's not as heavy as I thought it'd be," Lily shrugged, wondering at his reaction, "but otherwise I'd say it fits pretty well."

"Yeah... it's... hoo..." he breathed, staring at her as though he'd taken leave of his senses.

The girls waited for him to say more, but he seemed only capable of gaping at her. After an amused moment, she fidgeted uncomfortably. "Can I change now?"

"Yes!" he cried too loudly.

"I think he wants you to keep it," Alice teased, taking him gingerly by the arm to lead him from the room. By the time Lily had changed, she was showing him out the door with a stern admonition. "-and don't you _dare_ tell your mates about it, Remus Lupin. Cause I'll know. And I will hunt you down and gut you like a grindylow."

"Bye, Remus!" Lily called pleasantly, making him bump into the door before hastily taking his leave. "What was that all about?"

Alice gave her an impatient look. "You were dazzling. What do you think? Whoever sent you that dress certainly knew what they were doing."

"Do you reckon it's really alright?" Lily asked nervously.

Laughing, Alice moved over to give her a bracing hug. "It'll be brilliant. You'll be beautiful and James will go absolutely mad trying to resist you. Now we just need to get my dress and finish that sodding scarf."

With a little luck and plenty of help from her friends, everything was ready in time for the ball on Christmas eve. She even managed to finish the scarf, though she was still undecided about whether or not she was really giving it to him. And she had also decided against a date, which she figured could get awkward. While she was waiting for Frank to come get them, she was so full of nerves that she nearly got sick.

"Calm down, lovey," Alice assured her gently, meeting her eyes in the mirror as she finished twisting her hair into an elaborate knot at the nape of her neck. "You look perfect."

"_You_ look beautiful," Lily complimented her in return, taking in the flawless emerald dress that practically glowed against her pale hair.

The smaller girl smiled smugly. "I know. You should put your cloak on before Frank arrives. Wouldn't want you to steal him away."

"How are we getting there, anyway?" Lily asked nervously, swinging a warm blue cloak around her shoulders with a sarcastic look.

"The invitation turns into a portkey after eight," Alice explained easily. "Brilliant, huh?"

Lily nodded, grudgingly impressed. That was nothing, however, compared to how she felt after they activated the portkey. They arrived in an elaborate garden that was crowded with winter-blooming plants and shimmering lights. Beautiful as it was, her jaw dropped when she looked up at the house. On second thought, _house_ was a grave understatement. It was a castle, pure and simple. The ballroom was housed entirely in glass like an enormous conservatory, glittering like a diamond in the snow. Two enormous double doors were propped open at the farthest end, dwarfing the guests as they hurried in to enjoy the warmth and music. A rounded tower rose up behind it, capped with a metal dome that hosted a massive telescope. The rest of the house was just a hulking shadow in the prismatic light of the ballroom, stretching out behind it like a sleeping giant.

"Oh my god," Alice echoed her thoughts as they slowly approached. "I always knew Potter was loaded, but.."

"This is nothing," Frank said casually. "You should see their summer house."

Alice tilted her head at him curiously. "When did _you_ see the Potter's summer house?"

"Are you kidding?" he replied dryly. "I practically grew up with James. His dad and my uncle are old gambling buddies."

"It's weird that you guys aren't better friends," Alice mused in a distracted tone as she peered up at the towering glass ceiling.

Shaking his head, Frank gave her a wry smile. "My mother didn't want me to hang around him too much. Thought he was a corrupting influence."

Lily and Alice couldn't help smirking at the accurate assessment. Already the marble floor was crowded with wizards and witches chatting pleasantly in small groups, dancing, and enjoying the magical feast. Lily had never seen such a large gathering.

"Can I take your cloak for you, mistress?" a house elf suddenly bobbed at her side.

Lily blinked at him in surprise. He was dressed like the Hogwarts elves in a sparkling clean toga fastened with the Potter house crest. Leaning forward, Frank explained, "The Potters offer a haven for freed and abandoned house elves. Next to Hogwarts, they keep the most in Europe. Mrs. Potter always wanted to free them, but the poor things wouldn't hear of it."

Smiling kindly, she and Alice handed over their cloaks. The elf whisked them away in a blink before another one appeared with champagne. After he had gone, Lily glanced around nervously. "Have you seen-?"

"Probably not here yet," Frank filled in quickly. "You know how James likes to make an entrance."

Before he could say anything else, Lily spotted him and her stomach sank into her toes. Standing beside his father and a frail old witch that could only be his mother, James was immaculate in his formal robes. Even his wildly untidy hair couldn't take away from his stunning good looks as he glanced disinterestedly over his shoulder at the girl on his arm.

Catching sight of her, Lily's jaw nearly dropped. She was beautiful. More than that; gorgeous. Her lithe, curvaceous frame was clad in clinging black robes that stood out sharply against her honey colored hair and tanned skin. Every line of her face spoke of nobility and breeding, from her delicate nose and full mouth to her brilliant sapphire eyes.

"Who is that?" Alice asked in surprise, following her gaze to the stunning creature.

"Guinevere Merryweather," Frank supplied with a note of surprise in his voice. "Never thought she'd wear him down..." The girls shot him confused looks and he reached up to rub his chin thoughtfully. "She's something like a fifth cousin on his mother's side. Been in love with him since they were kids, but he always managed to dodge her. Can't guess why he's escorting her tonight. Usually avoids her like the plague."

"Wanted to make a good impression, I suppose, seeing as you're here," Sirius spoke up from behind her. Lily turned to him in surprise and he gave her a roguish grin before kissing her cheek. "Alright there, Evans? Care to dance? You lot don't mind- No? Lovely."

He swept her away from her friends before anyone could even think of a response to the furious spate of questions and she looked at him curiously. "What are you doing, Sirius?"

"Dancing with the prettiest girl in the room, I'd say," he replied warmly, guiding her through the steps with effortless ease. "I think we all know what Moony was stuttering about now. You look gorgeous, Lily. Don't suppose you dressed up for Frank..."

"Not really," she admitted softly, her cheeks heating with guilt.

"Ah," Sirius intoned thoughtfully, nodding and glancing toward his friend. "I spoke to James earlier-"

"Imagine that," she smiled.

"-and told him I'd take charge of you if he insists on this rubbish for very much longer," he said evenly.

It took a moment for the full impact of his words to get through, then she looked at him sharply. "You're joking. You don't even fancy me."

The handsome boy grinned broadly. "Don't think that way, Lily. You're quite fit. I'm not the only lad drooling in my shoes over you tonight. Which reminds me, you may have broken Peter's brain. He hasn't stopped staring at you since you took off that bloody cloak."

"D'you think I should cover up?" she asked awkwardly.

She stiffened when he leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "Don't even think of it, Evans. It's working." Her first inclination was to look for James, but he stopped her with a low word. "Wait until I bring you round and sneak a peak over my shoulder."

By the time he'd done as he said, James had his eyes riveted on his date, but she couldn't miss the angry flush in his cheeks. She could well imagine the furious thoughts boiling through his head seeing his best mate dancing so close to her. Especially after he had so plainly informed him that he was going to steal her away.

"You're terrible," she murmured without conviction.

"I'm helping," he reminded her smugly. "Don't approach him. Let him come after you. If you dance with enough blokes without acknowledging him, he'll come get you. Won't be able to resist."

Lily's eyes gleamed wickedly. "Doesn't want anyone else playing with his favorite toy?"

"Absolutely," Sirius agreed devilishly. "Now, please don't slap me."

"For what?" she asked blankly.

In lieu of a response, he twisted her suddenly, leaning her back so far that she nearly lost her feet before kissing her passionately. She squeaked in surprise, but he didn't let her up as he gouged his tongue into her mouth. All she could do was clutch his shoulders weakly until he finally let her up.

Her cheeks were burning painfully as she stared at him, panting for breath, but his grin was downright obnoxious. "Might want to pop to the loo, Evans. You're looking a little flushed."

"Right," she breathed, turning blindly and needing to be redirected by him before she could finally make her way to the bathroom.

She was surprised to find Guinevere loitering in front of the mirror, fussing over her flawless make up with a graceful rosewood wand. When she spotted Lily, she gave her a friendly smile. "That was quite a kiss back there. Have you been seeing Sirius long?"

"Not really," she replied uncomfortably.

The beautiful girl gave her an understanding look. "Just a sneak attack, was it? Sirius has always been impetuous. I'm Gwen."

"Lily," she introduced herself quietly, moving over to stand beside her in the mirror and pretending to smooth her hair. "Have you... er... are you and James-?"

Rolling her eyes expressively, Gwen took a deep breath. "He's just my escort. He made that _very_ clear."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lily said with more sincerity than she would have thought she could muster for a romantic rival. She was astonished to find that this girl was actually quite likeable. Why wouldn't James be interested in her?

The taller girl shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay. I'm sort of used to it. We grew up together and he's always been evasive. Last year he faked his own death to avoid coming to my birthday party. I had nightmares about it for weeks."

Lily couldn't help laughing, even though she felt guilty. "He's exactly that way at school."

"Oh, you go to Hogwarts?" Gwen asked with keen interest. "I wish I could go. Mummy doesn't approve of _public_ schooling. I say it's a load of tosh, but she won't listen to me." Her eyes shifted nervously to the door. "Don't tell her I said that."

"Your secret's safe with me," she smiled. The girls fell silent for a moment before Lily shot her a curious look. "Sorry, but... can I ask you a personal question?"

Her grin didn't slip as she nodded. "Sure."

"Why doesn't James fancy you?" Lily asked nervously. "I mean, you're... _perfect_. Everything he could possibly ask for. I don't understand-"

She stopped when the other girl began laughing. "Perfect? I'm hardly that. I can be moody and spoiled and I always want things my own way. It's part of the tragedy of being an only child in a wealthy family. I think James might see too much of himself in me. Other than that, I can't really say why he doesn't fancy me. The only thing he's ever told me was that he only goes for fat, bossy gingers."

Lily's heart seemed to stop as her face suffused with color. She couldn't meet Gwen's eyes as she reached up to nervously finger her collar bone. "He said that?"

"He's been telling me that for ages. Said it tonight, in fact," she groaned impatiently. Her eyes narrowed as she studied her reflection. "What does that even mean, anyway? Is there a girl at Hogwarts who looks like that? You go to school with him, so you must know-"

"I've got to go," Lily interrupted her abruptly, turning to rush out the door before she could put two and two together. Between her red hair and blinding grin, it wouldn't be too difficult for the beautiful girl to connect the dots and she wasn't sure she would feel so friendly after she did. She was so caught up in her surprise that she didn't look where she was going and nearly ran headlong into Arthur Weasley.

"Excuse me, dear, I'm terribly sorry," he cried, putting his hands on her shoulders to steady her. It took a moment of staring to place her before he broke out into an enormous grin. "Oh my, it's you! Evans wasn't it?"

She nodded vaguely, trying to mentally shake herself so that she could concentrate. "Yes. It's nice to see you again."

"Well, whatever are you doing here?" Arthur asked curiously.

Her cheeks flamed as she smiled at him. "I was invited. I go to school with the Potter's son..."

"Ah," he said amiably, nodding his head before glancing around and lowering his voice. "Where's your date, then? Not the young rascal who sent you running off from school, I hope..."

She shook her head quickly, relieved that her heart was finally settling back into her chest. "I um... I don't have a date. I came with some friends."

His face became a thundercloud at this news. "No date? Pretty young thing like you? Well that won't do at all! Come along, Miss Evans, I'll introduce you to my nephews. They graduated from Hogwarts a few years ahead of you, but I don't know if you'll remember them. Gideon and Fabian Prewett."

Lily could only follow him obediently as he latched onto her arm and led her over to where the pair of handsome boys were speaking with a plump witch in lavender robes who had a sniveling toddler with flaming red hair on her hip. She remembered the twins, of course. They had been two years ahead of her in Gryffindor and they were both incredibly genial. The only flaw in their otherwise charming personalities was their deep-seated competitive nature toward each other and everyone else. She nearly went mad her first year as Prefect trying to stop them and the Marauders as they vied to destroy the school.

"Happy Christmas, Evans," Fabian greeted her the moment he saw her, catching her in an exuberant hug.

"Lily Evans, is that you? Looks like you finally lost all that baby fat," Gideon quipped, waiting his turn. He caught Arthur's confused look and grinned. "Can't tell it now, but this little girl used to be quite the butterball. Used to be able to knock the stuffing out of Potter, too."

"To be fair, it was only up until about third year. Before that James was easily half her size and the little git ran his mouth all the time," Fabian reminded him cheerfully. His eyes were warm as they slid over her. "Not much of a problem anymore, eh Evans? You're probably driving him batty these days. Bet he wished he'd been nicer to you."

"I reckon she was the first girl he'd ever met who was immune to his charms," Gideon went on with an admiring grin.

"And the last," his brother added blithely.

Lily giggled shyly. "I do what I can."

Shaking his head, Arthur said, "Poor Miss Evans hasn't got a date tonight and I hoped one of you would be willing to suffer her company-"

"Me!" the boys volunteered at the same time, giving each other identical glares before Fabian captured her arm and pulled her off with a winning grin. "Not to worry, Evans. I'll look after you."

She frowned at him anxiously as he slid his arm around her waist to march her off more quickly, just in case his brother got any clever ideas. "Are you sure this is-"

"Brilliant!" he exclaimed suddenly, dragging her toward the dance floor. "Mr. Potter is putting out the mistletoe."

Alarmed, Lily followed his eyes to the clusters of green and white bobbing merrily over the heads of the crowd, making people laugh as couples kissed and tried to dodge out of the way by turns. Just from where she was standing, she could see a very red Peter was being smooched by a girl with shockingly pink hair and Sirius chasing Remus with a maniacal grin.

"Don't be shy, Moony! I promise I won't bite this time!"

"Get away from me you nutter!"

She glanced up nervously to find Fabian regarding her with a flirtatious grin. A single finger pointing toward the ceiling drew her eyes higher and her mouth went dry when she realized there was a pesky bundle hovering just over their heads. "Care for a snog, Evans?"

"I-" She gaped in surprise as he leaned over her.

Before his lips could even brush against hers, a strong arm hooked around her waist and dragged her backward. She had only a moment to look up at the mysterious masked figure before he disapparated, towing her along with him. She gasped as they arrived in a dark parlor, stumbling fearfully away.

"Who- who-?"

"Terrible impression of an owl, Evans," James said dryly, tugging off the mask to give her an imperious look as he fluffed his flattened hair.

She nearly bit her lip in surprise, but swiftly recovered. Her voice was loud with outrage as she asked, "What do you think you're doing?"

His eyes were cool as they moved over her face and he shrugged. "You looked like you needed a hand."

"I did not!" she argued heatedly. "And I really think it's time you stop rushing in to save me if you're going to insist that you don't love me anymore!"

"That doesn't mean I'm not worried about you, you stupid cow," he shot back angrily. "We're Gryffindors, after all, and-"

"I'm not stupid, James!" she snapped. "I know what you're doing!"

"And what is that?" he asked with an arrogant smirk. "You think I'm just pushing you away because I'm terrified that something horrible will happen to you and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I couldn't prevent it?"

She tilted her head at his sarcastic tone. "Yes. Exactly."

"Get over yourself, Evans," he scoffed, turning away from her to pace toward the window.

"What about you?" she cried, stomping after him. "Bad things happen, James and the odds are that bad things will happen to _me_. We're in the middle of a sodding _war, _for Merlin's sake, and I'm nothing but a filthy little mudblood who doesn't know her place!"

Spinning on his heel, he glared furiously. For a moment, she really thought he might hit her. His face turned nearly purple with rage and his voice was low and vicious when he snarled, "Don't you _ever_ let me hear you say that word again, Lily Evans."

"Why not?" she asked imperiously. "I hear it all the time at school. It's what I am!"

"That is _not_ what you are!" he shouted violently, catching her arms in a painful grip. "There's nothing wrong with being a muggleborn! You've got more magic in your little finger than half the pure bloods I know combined and brains to match. Don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are."

He released her abruptly to pace away, gouging his hands savagely through his hair. Crossing her arms over her chest, she raised an eyebrow at him. "You mean like you?"

His head nearly came unhinged as he turned to stare at her. "Lily... you know that I... I never-"

"You are always putting me down!" she cried angrily. "Telling me I'm useless and stupid and helpless. Well, I'm not! I can take care of myself. And just in case you've forgotten, I saved _your_ ass when you were being tortured by You-Know-Who."

"I didn't _ask_ you to save me!" he roared belligerently.

"You didn't have to!" she practically screamed, tears bursting onto her cheeks. "When you love someone, you want them to be safe no matter what. You don't wait, you don't pause, you go and find them and bring them home! That's how love works, James."

He began to shake his head, but she cut him off impatiently. "Whether you believe me or not, it is. Do you think you love me more than I love you? That I can't possibly understand this suicidal determination to protect the person I love? I would do _anything_ for you, James. I've let you put me through hell because I trust you with my _life_. Why can't you trust me just as much? Why can't we fight together?"

Her chest was heaving with emotion, but he wouldn't even look at her. After a long moment, he said, "You should go back to the ball."

"No," she whispered rebelliously.

"Well, _I'm_ going back," he told her briskly, crossing to the door. "Guinevere is probably looking for me."

Lily had to bite back an abrupt laugh as she trailed after him. "Oh yeah? How are things going with her?"

"Brilliant," he confirmed quickly. "We're pretty much mad about each other."

She couldn't hide her smile, no matter how she tried. It was just so unfamiliar to know something that he didn't. "She's a lovely girl."

At length, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Don't be jealous, Evans."

"I'm not," she replied honestly. They walked in silence for nearly a full minute before she risked nettling him. "Seems a bit... _safe_, though."

His jaw went rigid as he turned to her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shook her head innocently, keeping her eyes wide and guileless. "Nothing. Just that you may be using her to push me farther away because you're too afraid of losing someone you might actually care for."

"That's terrible," he said weakly. She couldn't help noticing that he didn't deny it.

"Yes, it is. And you're so much better than that," she told him with feeling, catching his hand and pulling him to a halt. He turned to her with a defensive look, but she couldn't hide her vulnerability. Seeing that, he weakened slightly.

"When this is all over, Lily, I'll come for you," he assured her solemnly.

She shook her head tearfully. "What if it's too late? What if something happens to you? Or me? I can't wait forever, James. Much as it would hurt to give up, I can't keep doing this."

He nodded solemnly, his eyes dark and tender as he reached up to touch her cheek. "I know."

She tilted her head at him pleadingly, fighting tears. "That's part of the plan, isn't it?"

Biting his lip, he looked away.

"You are so thick, Potter," she said softly, putting a hand on his chest. "Sometimes I hate you."

His lips twitched in the semblance of a smile that died when she pushed him back against the wall. Before he could stop her, she kissed him. All the longing, rage, and passion she could muster poured into that kiss, manifesting in the way she dug her fingers into his hair, pressed herself against him, and caressed his lips with her own.

Drawing back slowly, she gave him a hopeful look, but he only looked away. Trying to pretend that he wasn't so obviously affected by her touch. Raising an eyebrow at him, she turned away. "Alright then. I guess I'll go see what Fabian is doing."

Her heart sank as she walked away. He wasn't stopping her. Why wasn't he stopping her? Before entering the ballroom, she gave him one last look. "Don't save me anymore, James. Stop having me followed, remove the tracking spell, and don't send your mates to check up on me. From now on, unless I ask for your help I want you to leave me alone. I'll show you what this useless, bossy ginger can do without you."


	22. Chapter 22

Though her first inclination was to indulge in her complete and utter bone-crushing depression, Lily didn't allow herself to mope. Instead, she went into the ballroom, had some champagne, and danced with every boy that asked her. She fairly sparkled as she laughed and chatted her way through the evening, bewitching more than one young man with her looks and natural charm. It was terribly late by the time she found Alice and Frank again. Her legs were fairly shaking as she donned her cloak with soft thanks to the accommodating house elf.

"Ugh! My feet are _killing_ me," Alice complained as Frank helped her with her cloak. "I never should have danced with Peter!"

"I think these shoes might be enchanted, because mine don't hurt at all," Lily said cheerfully, earning herself a waspish look.

Glancing at her discretely, Frank murmured, "So glad you enjoyed yourself tonight, Lily. I'm just curious what happened between you and James..."

"I'll tell you later," she sighed.

"He was certainly cross when you came back," he pointed out unnecessarily.

Lily bit her lip against a grim smile. "I know."

"I don't think he did anything but drink and glare at whoever you were dancing with," he continued in a low voice. "Thought he was going to bust some heads when Sirius kissed you again."

"Except they were both nearly too drunk to walk," she pointed out reasonably, withdrawing her invitation to be reactivated by the obliging elf near the door.

Catching her hand, Alice drew her quickly back to whisper, "Um... if you don't mind, I'm gonna go with Frank for a bit..."

Lily had to bite her lip against a knowing smile as she shrugged her slim shoulders. "That's fine, Alice."

The blonde girl dimpled, her cheeks heating slightly. "Okay. So long as you're sure."

She nodded easily. "I'll cover if your parents ask."

"Thanks," she grinned in excitement. "Don't wait up for me."

Shaking her head, Lily turned back to the house elf and held out her invitation. The creature's long nose twitched slightly as it looked down at the card, then glanced up at her with a guileless smile. Beneath its slender fingers, the parchment began to glow, then lifted into the air. The instant her hands closed around it, something tugged behind her navel and she seemed to twist inside out as it dragged her along. The sensation lasted for less than a second. She nearly stumbled as her feet touched a hard stone floor and she looked around in confusion.

Rather than Alice's colorful parlour, she was in a dim room lit by a roaring fire. Enormous windows sparkled on the far wall between shelves stuffed with books and the floor was dotted by rich, elegant furniture. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they did she caught sight of the James' mother sitting on the cushions of a plush settee done in blue silk brocade. Though she was elderly and obviously frail, her face was still smooth and lovely. Her long silver hair seemed to shine like starlight. Her hazel eyes sparkled with an eerily familiar mischievous light as she awarded Lily a warm smile.

"Hello, my dear," she said in a soft, musical voice, "I was beginning to worry that I'd never get a chance to speak with you."

Lily glanced around nervously, clenching her suddenly sweaty palms behind her skirt. "Um... hello."

Gracefully, the older witch patted her slender hand on the sofa at her side. "Why don't you have a seat so that we can talk?"

Seeing little choice, she did as she was told. "Yes, ma'am."

Her lips twitched into a wide smile. "You can call me Nita. Everyone else does."

"Nita?" Lily repeated curiously.

"Of course the boys call me mum, but I don't really expect that of you just yet," she confided with a cheerful wink. "My given name is Zelanita. Awful, isn't it? I've never understood the horrible fascination people have these days with giving their children such terribly complicated handles."

Lily nodded, slowly relaxing in the woman's warm company. "It does seem a bit excessive. My sister's just the same. Wouldn't be surprised if she named her child something fussy like Millicent or Dudley."

The older woman laughed, reaching over to pat her hand affectionately. "Oh, I can see why he likes you. And that dress is simply stunning. Took me ages to decide on the color."

Her jaw practically came unhinged as she gaped at her. "This was from you?"

"Of course," Nita chuckled in her throat. "Every girl needs a fairy godmother at some point in her life. I only wish my son wasn't being such a stubborn little shit." Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "Well, he is. I'm his mother, Lily. I've known him all his life."

"That's a relief," she quipped. "Some days I've wondered if he wasn't some sort of mad alien without a family at all."

Shaking her head, Nita laughed at the description. "James has been the cleverest person in the room since he was a boy. I can't pretend we didn't indulge him. He nearly drove us mad before he went off to Hogwarts. Always getting up to the worst kind of mischief he could manage. It's still his personal ambition to get one past me, but we always thought it was sweet. You were the first person he'd ever met who didn't dote on him."

"You've no idea the owls I'd get complaining about Evans not thinking he was funny or Evans calling him an arrogant toerag," Nita explained with a bemused smile. "Of course we knew he fancied you long before he stopped hating you. Which makes his behavior tonight all the more curious." Lily abruptly dropped her eyes to her lap. "James has never shared well, yet he didn't ask you for a single dance and you spent more time watching him than any of your partners. Besides that, he finally agreed to a date with Gwen when he hasn't given that girl a second look his entire life. I find it curious."

Lily couldn't look at her. Hot guilt glowed in her cheeks as she twisted her fingers in her lap. "We... we've had a bit of a disagreement."

She could feel the woman's eyes on her, seeing through her just like James. "I may be dying, child, but that doesn't make me stupid."

Her head came up in surprise. "I- I didn't mean-"

"I know what he's doing, Lily. There's too much of me in James not to see it," she said in a suddenly sad voice. Lily tilted her head curiously, trying to pretend that she didn't understand. Nita raised an eyebrow at her, clearly immune to such deception. "We didn't get any owls from the school about him for more than a month. Now, the only way that is possible is if he wasn't there. He went out to fight, didn't he?"

Lily blinked in surprise, immediately trying to cover for him. "He..." The elderly woman gave her a sharp look. Her shoulders slumped and tears pricked her eyes. "He's been working with Dumbledore and Sirius."

"And he's pushing you away because he doesn't want you to get hurt," Nita surmised sagely. "It's the same thing with his father and I. Of course Aldan is too busy trying to find a cure for me to notice his odd behavior, but I'm his mother. I know how he acts when he's in trouble."

"What should I do?" Lily asked helplessly, trying hard to keep back her tears. "I want to help him. I want to be with him. He won't listen to anything I say."

Nita reached over to grip her hands firmly and Lily was surprised at how fragile they felt. Her skin was like paper stretched thinly over the bones, yet her eyes were still fiery as she searched her face. She seemed satisfied with what she saw there, because she nodded. "You can't talk James into anything. He's just too clever for his own good. He can reason his way out of all of your arguments. If you want to be with him, you'll have to show him."

Lily tilted her head in confusion. "Why do you think he lets Sirius help him? Because Si can take care of himself. He knows that, so he trusts him. These are terrible times, Lily. There's not much room to be children anymore. I'm afraid James will need all the help he can get before this bloody war is over."

Biting her lip, Lily stared pensively into the fire. It felt like his mother was leading her to the only possible conclusion. After a moment, she glanced up to meet her gaze. "I'll need to have another talk with Sirius, then."

"That would be wise," Nita smiled, suddenly relaxing against the back of the sofa. She gripped her hand tightly. "You're always welcome here, Lily. If you ever need somewhere to go, please don't hesitate."

"Thank you," she accepted softly. The woman seemed exhausted from the talk, keeping her head back and her eyes closed. After a moment, Lily leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek. "I _promise_ I'll do everything I can to keep him safe."

The elderly witch's lips lifted in a tired smile and she rolled her head to look at her. "I know. That's why I trust you. Things are so dark these days. People have forgotten how powerful love can be. My son would do well to be reminded."

A gentle tap on the door brought Lily's head around and she smiled when Aldan stepped inside. He nodded to her with a friendly expression, clearly a co-conspirator with his wife, but his face grew quickly concerned when Nita didn't move. He crossed the room in a matter of seconds, putting his hands on her cheeks. Lily was surprised when she realized that the older woman had dropped off to sleep.

"She's exhausted all the time these days," he explained quietly. "Still insisted on having the party, daft old cow. She wanted to meet you. Told me it was too important to put off."

In spite of his words, his tone was warm and affectionate. The way he looked at her bordered on worshipful as he carefully scooped her up in his arms. He could barely lift her, but he didn't stop until she was securely cradled against his chest. He held her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

Just before he reached the door, he turned to give her a warm smile. "I'll send Oller along to help you home, but you're welcome to stay the night. It's late."

"Thank you," she called after him.

She stood awkwardly for a moment after the door shut behind him before another elf entered. He was taller than any elf she'd met, almost the size of a Gringott's goblin, but with a squished pug nose and vibrant blue eyes. "Master Aldan asked me to look after you."

Nodding, Lily smiled. "If you could show me to Sirius' room, that would be loads of help."

The elf didn't even bat an eyelash as it moved to do as she asked. A far cry from Hogwarts, the Potter castle seemed to be laid out in a simple grid pattern, making it easy to take a direct route to Sirius' room. She could hear his raucous singing long before they reached the studded oak door and couldn't help smiling when she knocked.

"Come in," he trilled melodiously.

"Are you decent?" she asked with her hand on the knob.

There was a long pause before the door ripped open. Stripped down to his formal trousers, Sirius gave her an amused grin before stepping back. "I think you've known me long enough to realize that I'm rarely decent, Lily Evans. The real question is: what the devil are you doing here?"

"I need your help, Sirius," she said abruptly, pushing past him to move inside.

"Course you do," he sighed wearily.

Biting her lip, she began to pace, ignoring his obvious reticence. She couldn't blame him. James was his best friend. They were like brothers and she was a wedge between them. But she needed him. They wanted the same thing, after all.

After hesitating for a few minutes, she looked at him. "I've been practicing spells on my own while you guys were gone. Searching the library, dueling with Alice and Frank and Remus and Peter. I've been getting better, but it's not enough. I need to be as good as James."

Sirius' eyebrows twitched in surprise. He scratched irritably behind his ear. "Lily... that's not exactly a reasonable request. James isn't just some swotty brawler."

"I _know_, Sirius," she insisted impatiently. "But if anyone can teach me, it's you."

"Lily," he argued reasonably, "_I'm_ not even as good as James on his best days."

"You're being modest and you know it," she said darkly. Tears sparkled in her eyes as she turned to face him. "You're the only chance I have to convince him, Sirius. _Please_."

He looked away from her, conflicting emotions warring across his face. Finally, he groaned and reached up to paw his hair aggressively. "Fine! Go get changed and have a good night's rest. We'll start first thing in the morning."

Giggling triumphantly, she threw her arms around him and kissed him full on the mouth. The door flew open behind them at just that instant and Lily nearly jumped out of her skin as she caught sight of James. His face was transfixed with stunned disbelief as he glanced between them. After just a moment, though, the look crumpled into stony indifference.

"I've got to hand it to you, Padfoot," he said woodenly. "You certainly move fast."

The tension in the room was so thick, it was hard to breathe. Lily glanced anxiously between the two friends. After a moment, Sirius reached out to catch and squeeze her hand. "There's an empty room next to mine, Lily. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Oh, don't be so formal on my account, Padfoot," James growled sarcastically.

"You're drunk, James," Lily said softly. "It isn't what it seems."

Running a hand through his hair, Sirius gave her his most charming grin. "Don't worry about it, love. I'll sort him out."

James didn't move as she carefully stepped around him, but his eyes followed her all the way out into the corridor. The moment the door shut behind her, however, something exploded. She didn't wait around to get caught up in the battle, but rushed into the next room. The guilt was enough to make her sick. Even the copious amounts of alcohol she'd had during the party couldn't send her to sleep.

True to his word and with several shiny new bruises, Sirius met her first thing in the morning. The fact that it was Christmas didn't matter. She wanted to be taught and he wouldn't let anything stand in the way. She sent an owl to Alice explaining her absence, but there was very little time for her to do anything else. It quickly became clear that Sirius didn't plan to take it easy on her. He drilled her with spells, hexed her whenever she let her guard down, and boxed her ears when she failed to protect herself. Often, James would sneak into the drawing room they were using for lessons to spy on them, but she ignored him. Sirius handled it when he protested her rough treatment.

Slamming back into the wall, Lily grunted in pain before dropping to her hands and knees for the fourth time a week after they had started. Her eyes blurred with such profound weariness that she could hardly see and her mouth was dry and tasted metallic. Though her nose was bleeding, she gritted her teeth and staggered awkwardly to her feet. Sirius' face was stern as he glared at her from across the room. "You let your guard down. _Again_."

"Hasn't she had enough for today, Padfoot?" Remus called nervously. He was playing chess with James and winning for the first time since the handsome boy couldn't seem to keep his mind on the pieces.

"You're really going to kill her if you keep this up," Peter added from his place at James' elbow.

Ignoring them, Sirius swung his wand at her and she brought up her arm like lightning to block it before shooting off her own spell. While he was dodging, she sent a bookcase toppling over, missing him by centimeters. Rolling on the floor, he tried to disarm her, but she used a deflection spell that sent it right back. She broke into a wry grin when his wand went flying.

"Don't get cocky," he warned peevishly, hooking a lamp at her to cover a mad dash for his wand.

She dodged before haring across the room to stop him. Aldan stepped in as she set off a deafening concussion spell that shook the room, but his eyes didn't even flicker at the violent decimation of his parlour. Rather, he gave his son a mild look and asked, "Have you seen my copy of Fenwick's first edition-?"

Before he could finish, Sirius sent a book spinning through the air at her head. She dodged and Aldan caught it deftly. Glancing at the cover, he gave the harried boy a pleasant grin. "Thank you, Sirius."

"Don't mention it," he grunted, diving for cover beneath the coffee table.

Peter shot the older gentleman a worried frown. "Are you sure this is alright?"

"Course it isn't," James snorted impatiently, keeping his eyes fixed stubbornly on the chess board even as Lily cried out in pain. He'd long since given up on convincing them to stop, but he refused to accept it gracefully. "He's just as mad as the pair of them."

"In fairness, things probably wouldn't have turned out this way if you hadn't been so stubborn," Remus pointed out philosophically, moving his bishop into check. Luckily a stray spell blasted the board clean off the table at just that moment, keeping James from punching him.

By the end of holidays, Lily was improving by leaps and bounds. She could hold her own against Sirius on a good day, but she knew that wasn't enough. When she wasn't fighting, she practiced and spent most evenings devouring every useful book she could find in the library. Exhausted, she would fall into bed each night and sleep like the dead before waking up feeling like she'd been run over by the Hogwarts Express. Sirius' keen healing abilities were sometimes the only thing that kept her going.

"Oh... Sirius," she groaned as he worked a knot in her back.

It was the night before they were supposed to return to school and he had offered to give her a massage while she read Digley's _1001 Spells for Defense_. In spite of James' persistent suspicions, their relationship had been progressing into a deeper friendship rather than anything remotely romantic.

Kneading his fist into the spot behind her shoulder as he braced her with his other hand, he grinned. "How's that?"

"A little lower," she moaned, dropping her head and closing her eyes as the tension suddenly released. "Oh god! Right there!"

The door opened abruptly and James rushed inside. His eyes were wide and angry until he spotted them, then he retreated back into his casual apathy. Unfortunately for him, Lily had caught the look and she worked hard not to smile at the floor while Sirius continued rubbing. She could practically feel his amusement over his friend's protectiveness, even though she couldn't see his face.

"Did you need something, Prongs?" he asked casually, making her cry out as his knuckle dug into another tight knot.

James kept his eyes cool and aloof as he crossed to the shelf against the far wall and grabbed a book at random. Lily had been surprised to find so many books in the house. They were present in every room, lining the walls in copious amounts. There was also an enormous library, stuffed to the mammoth, arching rafters with books of every kind. Rolling his shoulders dispassionately, James shook his head.

"Why don't you strike up the piano for a bit, mate?" Sirius suggested easily. "Lily's never heard you play."

Biting her lip, Lily looked up hopefully. "I didn't know you could-"

"I don't feel like it," he grumbled moodily, spinning on his heel and stomping from the room.

Sirius sighed and reached up to rub the back of her head affectionately. "He's amazing at it. You'll hear him someday. Plays the violin, too. Nita taught him early."

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" she asked with a sharp pang.

It took him a moment to answer as he smoothed his hand down her neck. "He shouldn't have let things get this far out of hand anyway."

She bit her lip uncertainly. "I know, but he thinks that you and I are-"

"He should know better than that," Sirius snapped. After a moment, his voice became soft and amused. "You're not even my type."

Smiling, she turned to shoot him a wry look. "What? You mean you don't go for fat, bossy gingers either? Am I really no one's type?"

Sirius couldn't help laughing at her chagrin. "Aw, don't take it to heart, Lily. I liked you well enough before you dropped all the weight."

Giggling, she tried to sock him, but her recently soothed muscles made the move sluggish. He dodged easily and caught her in a warm hug. Smoothing his hand down her hair, he gave her a brotherly grin. "It'll all work out, Lily. Don't you fret."

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading! I love your reviews and I love this story too. I hope this settled a few things for you. With any luck, I should have the chapter out within a day or so.


	23. Chapter 23

Twisting helplessly, Lily cried out as the wand moved lower. No matter where it touched, it set her skin on fire. She fairly shrieked as the tip slid painfully slowly along the curve of her breast. Arching her back and panting, she gripped the sheets as it trailed over her tummy. Moving lower.

"James," she gasped, her eyes flying open.

It took a moment for her to remember where she was: alone in her bedroom at the Potter's. The room was dark and cold. She shivered as the heat of the dream left her freezing and hungry, even as her cheeks heated. It had felt so real. And kinky. How embarrassing!

Swinging her feet to the cold floor, she crossed quickly to her bathroom. The light flickered on its own, illuminating the wide bathtub and pedestal sink. Her hands shook as she got herself a cool cup of water, gulping it down in a desperate attempt to clear her mind. Biting her lip, she glanced out the dark window. It was snowing again.

She'd never had a dream like that before. The past few weeks had been nothing but a nightmare of unrelenting practices and weariness. She'd hardly had any dreams that didn't involve Sirius attacking her in her sleep and now...

Her eyes moved unconsciously to the door. She'd yet to climb the tower stairs to James' room, although she knew exactly where it was. For a mad moment, she wondered what he'd do if she turned up in the middle of the night. Her feet started moving on their own and she quickly reined in her rampaging hormones.

She wasn't sure when things had changed, but these days it was torture being around him. At some point, she'd gotten used to touching and being touched, but not anymore. It was like there was an invisible, insurmountable wall between them. Seeing him every day without being able to hold or kiss him felt like dying.

A soft knock on the door sent her pulse racing, but it was only Oller. Somehow he'd been able to sense that she was awake and brought her a mug of warm milk to help settle her nerves. She gave him an appreciative smile as she accepted it. "Thank you so much."

"Master James was anxious that Miss Lily has everything required for her comfort," the elf explained gravely.

Lily bit her lip abruptly, holding the hot, sweet liquid in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. "When did he say that, Oller?"

The elf shifted uncomfortably, hugging the silver tray under his armpit and avoiding her gaze. "I believe it was the first night Miss Lily came to stay with us."

It was an effort to keep her jaw from dropping in surprise. He'd been so furious that first night! Why would he...? The answer came to her before she could even finish the thought and her cheeks glowed with pleasure. "Thank you, Oller. That's all I need right now."

The creature bobbed a quick bow, his small face lighting with a happy smile before he silently disappeared. She shut the door firmly behind him, turning back to bed as she sipped the milk. She needed to work on her patience.

It was still snowing by the time the three young people were ready to return to school. Cool and aloof, James continued to feign indifference toward her as he hugged and kissed his parents goodbye. She couldn't help smiling, knowing what he didn't. Especially when he casually brushed against her just as they disapparated, ensuring she'd make it directly to the platform. She didn't get a chance to tease him, however, as Alice caught her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Alright there, scruffy?" she giggled, her cheeks pink with excitement as she glanced at James' swiftly retreating back. "What'd he do to you these past couple weeks?"

"Actually, it was Sirius," she amended awkwardly.

Alice gave her a sharp look as they boarded the train. She didn't blame her. There hadn't been any time to contact her over the rest of the break. Her things had been brought over by an obliging house elf, so there was no way for Alice to know what she had been doing. She explained it as succinctly as possible before the train set into motion and she was forced to go to the head compartment for a prefect meeting.

After dispensing with her duties, she took advantage of the clear space to practice her spells. Sirius and the other boys were off making mischief elsewhere, but James had mysteriously decided to stay. Lounging in one of the overstuffed chairs with his leg hooked over the side, he kept his eyes fixed stubbornly on his quidditch book as she worked through every spell she could think of that wouldn't cause irreparable damage to the compartment. It didn't take too long for her to get so focused on the exercises that she forgot all about him.

She was concentrating so hard that she didn't notice him move until the spine of his book came down sharply on her arm. It didn't hurt so much as startle her and her eyes flew to his face. For the first time in weeks, he didn't immediately look away. "Keep your arm level. You're wasting energy bringing it up so high and leaving yourself too exposed. If your wand is here, you won't have to waste time moving for a block. Understand?"

Her head dipped in response, but she couldn't seem to form words in her foggy brain. It had been so long since he'd been this close, looking in her eyes and speaking to her directly. Without thinking, she put out her hand to touch his chest and he stepped smoothly back, effectively breaking the spell.

Reaching up with one hand, he mussed his hair thoughtfully. "Sirius doesn't know how to control his movements. He's fast and his unpredictability makes him good at dueling, but there are still drawbacks. If you're more aware of how your actions affect yourself and not just your opponent, you can keep up a good defense even when you're attacking."  
>Her eyes narrowed as she considered his words before nodding. "James... that's brilliant."<p>

"Course it is," he replied with a dismissive shrug, his lips parting in an arrogant smile. "It's me, isn't it?"

She took a breath to chide him when Sirius burst into the room. They stepped away from each other for no reason, but Lily gave him a sharp look when he immediately pulled down her trunk. "What are you doing?"

"Need some of your knickers," he announced without preamble.

"What? Why?" she cried in alarm, rushing over to stop him as he flipped the locks.

Putting out an arm to keep her at bay he laughed, "Just trust me, Lily. It's for a good cause."

"I don't care if they're your secret weapon to defeat You-Know-Who! Sirius Black, you are _not_ taking my underwear!" she insisted adamantly.

"Huh... bet no one's ever tried that tactic before," he mused thoughtfully. "Might be worth a shot. In that case, I'll need two pairs."

Before she could stop him, he grasped a lacy pair of panties and tugged them triumphantly free, bringing James' Christmas scarf along with them. Though he couldn't possibly know what it was, her cheeks burned a dull red as she shot a glance at James. His face was stony and impassive as he watched their antics. Unfortunately, Sirius wasn't the least bit stoic. Inspecting the carefully prepared handicraft, he cracked a maniacal grin and immediately looped the scarf around his neck.

"Why, Lily Evans, aren't you a star? I didn't know you could knit," he crooned, pinching her cheek.

"Put that back, Sirius," she demanded angrily. "Put them _both_ back this instant!"

Ignoring her, he pranced over to show James. "Prongs look! Evans knitted me a scarf! Must've taken her ages-"

"That's not for you!" she shouted, grabbing the tail of the scarf and tugging so hard that he nearly fell over backward.

Spinning on his heel, he grinned at her impishly. "Don't be like that, Lily. You don't have to be embarrassed. I love homemade gifts."

"It's _not_ for you," she repeated heatedly, reaching for the scarf and being blocked once more.

In a flash, James stepped close behind Sirius and pulled the garment deftly off his neck. Holding it between his hands, he gave her a playful smile that didn't quite reach the deadly coldness of his eyes. "Who's it for, then?"

"_Please_ don't say Remus," Sirius begged, catching her around the waist when she tried to snatch it away from James. "I don't know if I could ever forgive you."

Cornered, her cheeks burned ever brighter as she dropped her eyes and mumbled, "It's not for anyone."

"Well, that's just silly," Sirius chuckled thoughtlessly. "Why would you waste all that time making a gift for no one? Just trying to brush up on your knitting? Perfecting your scarfing technique? You could've scarfed us all if that was the case. I mean, even _you_ could wear it. It's quite smart and-"

"It was for James," she blurted abruptly. She felt so foolish that she couldn't look at either of them. It was a stupid gift after all. He could afford to buy quite literally _anything_ he wanted. What had ever made her think he would he like a measly little handmade scarf?

The silence that followed was almost painful, but she took advantage of the moment to pluck her panties from Sirius' hand and return them to her trunk. Gathering her courage, she looked back in time to see James abruptly leaving the compartment. She met Sirius' eyes anxiously and he shrugged with an affable grin. "I guess he accepts."

What he ended up doing with the gift was a mystery. Lily didn't see him until they reached Hogsmede and the uniform red and gold Gryffindor scarf was all that peeked out above his heavy black cloak. She didn't have much time to worry about it, however. The snow was coming down so fast and thick that it was almost a blizzard. It was all she could do to herd the other students swiftly into the carriages and up to the warmth and safety of the castle.

With the NEWTs coming up at the end of the term, Lily was swiftly swallowed in her studies along with the rest of the students in her year. Practice times with Sirius were more difficult to come by, but she made time even if it meant she didn't get to bed until well past midnight. Her improvement was startling to those who dared to cause trouble in the hallways and even the other students in her Defense Against the Dark Arts class were impressed. James, however, continued to treat her as though she were completely incompetent.

"What the hell is this?" she asked incredulously. It was a week after school had started and she had just received her holiday homework covered in red marks.

James hardly paused as he continued passing out the corrected parchments. "If you have questions about your grade, please see me after class."

"I would, only you're going to run to the Quidditch pitch the second the bell rings, _Professor_," she snapped irritably. "Why did you mark me off? These are all correct."

"I'm afraid they're not, Evans," he replied with a deliberate shake of his head.

"Peter answered number thirteen with "Throw a rubber duck" and you gave him full credit," she pointed out icily. She could feel the other students watching her in surprise, but she didn't back down.

Sighing impatiently, he moved to the front to lean against Professor Beetle's desk and gave her a stern look. "Yes and that would work for Pettigrew's scenario. You, on the other hand, would find your attack deflected when you tried to disarm your opponent and the force of the backlash would send you flying over the edge of the cliff."

"Since when was there a cliff?" she shot back angrily.

"I'm sorry you're upset, Evans, but I find your reactions too simple to be plausible," he reasoned calmly, turning to the chalkboard. Her cheeks flamed when the other students tittered at her expense. All of _them_ had received top marks.

"I'll show you implausible," she muttered under her breath.

James turned his head sharply. "Was there something else?"

"I think she's just confused about your criticisms, Professor," Sirius volunteered, raising his hand. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order."

The suggestion earned him dark looks all around, but his best friend was the worst. It wasn't in his nature to back down, though, and they glared at each other for a silent minute before James finally looked away. Chuckling, he reached up to rumple his hair and shook his head. "Nah... I wouldn't want to hurt her."

"You can go easy on me, then," Lily spoke up quickly.

His smirk became a little fixed when he looked at her. "Sorry, Evans. I wouldn't be doing my duty as your teacher if I didn't challenge you."

Pushing herself to her feet and tugging her tie loose, she gave him a sultry look. "Come now, Professor. I'm sure you'll be more than enough for me even if you hold yourself back. Especially considering the fact that I don't know what I'm talking about."

The students watching this interplay began to chuckle and murmur at her obvious challenge. Frank shot her an anxious glance. Staring at the floor, James shook his head, ran a hand through his hair and nodded. Straightening slowly, he spun his wand deftly around his forefinger and grinned wolfishly. "Alright then, Evans. Let's see if you're all talk."

He hardly gave the students time to clear out of the way before he flicked his wand, sending the desks scuttling against the far wall. Lily shrugged out of her long robes so that she could move more freely in her uniform while James rolled up his sleeves. Some of the students catcalled that he was getting down to business and she had better watch herself, but they were roundly ignored. Once they were ready, the pair moved to stand several feet apart, facing one another.

His lips twisted in a dangerous grin as he held up his wand. "Last chance to back down, Evans."

"I wish it were that easy, James," she said regretfully, her eyes sad and tender.

Skirting his eyes away, he bowed formally and she inclined her head. In a flash, he whipped his wand at her, "_Expelliarmus!_"

"_Protego!_" she countered just as quickly. James smirked and paced to the side. Lily mirrored his steps.

"Nice one, Evans," he complimented quietly.

"Don't patronize me."

She struck out with a jelly-legs jinx that he blocked and countered with a stunning spell. Dodging fleetly, she had to dive for cover as he shot three spells in quick succession. She rolled to avoid them before hitting him squarely with a levitating charm that swung him into the air by his ankles. Something in his face suddenly changed and she felt a twinge of nerves as she realized he was finally getting serious.

Gouging his wand at her, he forced her to jump back by shooting a hot arc of lightning at the stones near her feet. He used the distraction to release himself, but that was only the beginning. His attacks suddenly became ferocious, complicated, and obscure, but she managed to fend him off. In fact, she responded just as fiercely, managing to land a few harmless hits while he continued to miss. The other students laughed when she delivered a silencing charm and a stinging hex in quick succession.

Before she could utilize the advantage, he rushed her. She retreated a step and something snagged on her heel. She fell hard on her back, hitting her head against the stones with a dull thud. In an instant, he had her disarmed and the students cheered.

"Well done, Potter!"

"That's why _he's_ the Professor!"

"Nice try, Evans."

She winced as he offered his hand, grudgingly allowing him to help her to her feet. She had expected him to look smug, but his face was a thundercloud as he renewed his voice with a counter spell. He wouldn't even look at her as he turned to the class. Even Sirius looked miffed.

"Alright everyone, I think that's enough excitement for one day," he announced stiffly. "Why don't you lot skive off early? Just read chapter twenty-four for Thursday. Evans, _stay_."

She had moved to collect her things with the other students, but she paused in humiliation as the others jeered suggestively. It took less than a minute for the class to clear out, but Sirius hesitated at the door.

"It's fine, Padfoot. I'll be right along," James assured him in a low voice as he moved up behind Lily.

She bit her lip as they were finally left alone, unable to look at him. "I guess you were right. I don't know what I'm doing."

"You did fine," he said quietly. "How's your head?"

"It hurts," she admitted, trying hard not to cry.

"Want me to heal you?" he asked gently. Though he didn't touch her, he was close enough that she could feel his body heat at her back. She shook her head dully. After a moment, he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing affectionately.

She didn't turn as a hot tear slid down her cheek. "I won't ever be good enough, will I?"

Letting out a deep sigh, James put his arms around her waist, drawing her back against him. Her breath caught at the contact, but it wasn't enough to stop her tears. In fact, it only made her cry harder. She'd failed him. Not only that, but his parents and Sirius as well. Everything they'd done to help her was going to waste.

Just as she was talking herself into a good cry, he leaned down to press his mouth against her neck and blew a loud raspberry. She shrieked in surprise, jerking away and finding herself trapped in his arms.

Too late, he realized his mistake. He nipped reverently at her supple skin, inhaling the scent of her hair like a drug and watching in fascination as a delightful flush began to creep above her collar. The hands that had been holding her suddenly loosened, pressing hesitantly into her soft, yielding body. Her pulse throbbed and her chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. She didn't dare to move for fear it might bring him back to his senses.

Of their own volition, his hands began to slowly move. One slid down, drawing up her skirt to stroke the bare, silky skin of her leg. The other went up to cup her breast and squeeze fervently, kneading the tender flesh before pinching her already hardening nipple. The force of his caress on her arousal was almost staggering and she gasped in surprise, pressing her rear instinctively against the hard bulge in his trousers.

Just as suddenly, he released her, moving back so quickly that she nearly stumbled. Panting, she spun to find him regarding her with a look of wide-eyed surprise. Her heart melted at the sight and she smiled. Crooking her finger enticingly, she took a step toward him. "James... come here."

He shook his head frantically, looking panicked. "I- I didn't mean to... Oh god, Lily! That wasn't-"

"You can't wind me up like that without following through, Professor," she purred, stalking him as he retreated behind the desk. He wasn't looking where he was going and his legs became tangled in the chair, causing him to sit down hard. Without hesitation, she crawled into his lap, straddling him with a predatory smile.

"Evans? Potter? Good lord," Professor Beetle suddenly spoke up from the doorway. "What the devil are you doing?"


	24. Chapter 24

"Oh my god! I can't believe we just attacked a teacher!" Lily gasped as they raced through the empty halls.

Dragging her along by the hand, James looked back with a rakish grin. "_We?_ I can't believe _you_ just attacked a teacher!"

She nearly stumbled as he suddenly changed directions, dodging into a hidden passage behind a painting as though he was trying to shake off pursuit. Her eyes pierced him sharply as he edged down the narrow path. "Right, like that wasn't your freezing spell."

"I've used magic on teachers before," he whispered, pausing at the end of the passage to peak out and see if the coast was clear. "How d'you think I managed such high marks without ever once attending Ancient Runes?"

"I'd rather hoped it was just natural ability," she murmured dryly. "At least I only used a memory charm."

"Good thinking, that," he said warmly, shooting her an approving look as they skirted across the hall into their apartment. Once the door was safely closed behind them, he dropped her hand and reached up to rumple his hair with a relieved smile. "Overall, I'd say it was well done for your first time, Evans."

"Hang on. Weren't you just groping me back there?" she reminded him keenly as he started to move toward the back hallway.

Careful to keep his eyes averted, he shook his head. "Probably just your imagination."

"Oh really?" she murmured coyly, following him into his room. "I'll admit my imagination has been doing some pretty racy things lately, but I never thought it could turn my Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor into the Naughty Professor. I must be an _amazing_ witch..."

"That was an _accident_, Evans," he assured her evenly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed and running his hand through his hair to cover his disgruntled look.

"Is it often that you accidentally feel up your students?" she asked skeptically, drawing her sweater over her head and tossing it onto his desk.

He swallowed convulsively as she tugged her tie free of its loose knot and dropped it negligently to the floor. Intense and hungry, his eyes were drawn magnetically by her every move. "What are you doing?"

Her lips twisted into a sexy smile as she took another step toward him, reaching for the buttons on her blouse. "Using my imagination."

"This is highly inappropriate, Evans," he protested weakly, trying to give her a stern look as she straddled him.

"Gonna give me detention?" she teased, eagerly combing her fingers into his hair. She smiled when a gentle bite to his neck elicited a strained grunt of pleasure. Trailing her lips up to his ear, she nibbled lovingly while rubbing against his obvious erection.

His fingers dug into her hips, but it wasn't clear for a moment whether he was trying to pull her closer or push her back. It took time for him to decide, but he eventually caught her hand away from his belt and panted, "No... Evans... we have class."

"We've got time," she whispered, nipping his lips seductively before slipping her tongue into his mouth. His grip weakened and she reversed the hold to draw his hand up to her exposed breast.

Jerking his face away, he glared at the floor with unfocused eyes. He seemed to be having problems breathing. "Evans, we can't... Gods, you're so soft... No!"

"Don't be difficult, Potter," she murmured against his ear, delighting in the mad chills her breath caused on his skin. Before he could guess what she would do, she caught the bottom of his sweater and jerked it over his head, using it to trap his arms at an awkward angle behind his back.

"Alright then, Evans," he spluttered uncomfortably, trying to scoot away as she crawled along with him. "You've had your fun. Now let me go."

Catching his wrists, she tugged sharply, dropping him onto his back as she leaned over him with a predatory smile. "I'm not stopping until you admit how much you want me."

He fairly jumped out of his skin when she began pressing lingering kisses to his chest as she loosed the buttons on his shirt. Squirming fitfully, he puffed, "You really... ought to stop... this instant... _Evans!_"

She raised an eyebrow at him as she unbuckled his belt, flicking her fingers over button and zipper before tugging impatiently at his trousers. Once she had kicked them down to his ankles, she crawled back up to press her bare skin against his and passed the tip of her tongue delicately over his neck to his ear. His face glowed a dull red and he went rigid when she whispered, "Say my name."

Before he had a chance to respond the door creaked and she glanced over her shoulder to find Peter backing away with a soft "oh" of surprise. "Sorry. Didn't realize I would be interrupting..."

"Great timing, Pete," James groaned sarcastically as she straightened to draw the edges of her blouse together.

Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, but she gave him an impatient look. "Did you need something, Peter?"

"You _did_ leave the door open," he pointed out uncomfortably.

"What is it, Wormtail?" James asked tersely as he finally managed to shrug the rest of the way out of his sweater and sit up.

Not bothering to move off his lap, Lily grinned knowingly as she discovered a warm wet spot pressing into her inner thigh from his boxers. Lowering her voice, she murmured, "Did you just-?"

"_**What**_ _**Peter?**_" he practically roared to cover the question.

The chubby boy jumped in surprise and held out a scroll. "There was an owl f-for Lily. From the Ministry. Thought it looked important, so Padfoot told me to nip up here and bring it to her."

"Oh, he did, did he?" James growled irritably. "Set it on the desk, would you?"

Bobbing his head and breaking into a massive grin, Peter rushed to do as he said. Of course he inadvertently dropped the scroll and fumbled clumsily to retrieve it. Finally James shouted for him to leave it when he accidentally kicked it under the chair. Jumping in surprise, he practically scampered from the room.

As silence descended, Lily turned to him with a smugly raised eyebrow. "Was it _that_ good for you?"

"Don't be stupid, Evans," he scolded petulantly, unable to meet her eyes. "I've been busy lately. It's not just 'cause it's you or anything..."

"So this happens often?" she teased innocently.

"_No,_" he denied vehemently.

She nodded. "Right. We'll see if it goes that quickly next time, then."

"What next time?" he grumbled, watching her like a hawk as she slid off his lap and padded across the room to retrieve her letter.

Her eyes flicked up to meet his and she smiled coyly as she broke the wax seal. "The next time my dear Professor loses his head..."

"What is it?" he asked as a worried frown crossed her face.

Biting her lip, she glanced up at him. "I've been summoned to a hearing."

"_What?_" He crossed the room in an instant, plucking the parchment from her fingers and glancing impatiently down the sheet, certain there was some sort of mistake. "The Committee for Reviewing Restrictions on Underage Wizards? You're not even underage."

"I was when I accidentally blew up Petunia's boyfriend's scooter," she said wryly, tapping the incident marked on the summons. "That was a big mess." He gave her a stern look that told her exactly how stupid he thought a loss of control like that was and she glared at him indignantly. "He hit her!"

"You really need to stop getting involved in other people's business," he told her absently, glancing down at the High Risk stamp that had been marked after the incident during the summer. Sighing, he handed back the letter. "So what are you going to do?"

She frowned curiously. "What do you mean? It's not like I have a choice. I'll go."

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be?" he asked incredulously. Her quizzical look spoke volumes and he tugged his hair impatiently as he crossed the room for a fresh pair of underwear. "You're muggleborn, Lily. Last I checked, the Ministry's not being too friendly to your kind right now. They might be calling you in for a different reason than they say."

"Don't be paranoid, James," she chided softly, glancing over the letter once more. "It's the government. It's not like You-Know-Who will be lurking in the lifts."

"You think he doesn't have allies in the Ministry?" His voice was hard and deadly certain, making it difficult to doubt him. She felt the lightest twinge of anxiety as she considered the possibility. "More and more people are being summoned these days. They want proof of magic going back five generations. A man my dad worked with for years got sacked just because he was a muggleborn. He hasn't heard from him since."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked up, watching as he buckled his belt and buttoned his shirt. "So... what? You think something bad happened to him?"

"It wouldn't be the first time someone disappeared," he shrugged. "Especially if he protested the termination."

"James-"

"We'll send Peter in your place," he concluded quickly. "Shouldn't be too hard to adjust a polyjuice potion. Besides, he liked being you. Said it was like living inside a bouncy castle-"

"You think that'll work, do you?" she asked skeptically, crossing her arms over her chest. "_Your_ insistence on risking yourself is one thing, but how do you reckon Peter will feel about being sacrificed for my well-being? I'm _going_."

"You are not," he insisted adamantly.

Her eyes snapped angrily. "If you'll recall, I asked you to stay out of my business from now on."

"And I think we both know that's not going to happen," he argued. "You couldn't even beat _me_ in a duel and I was going easy on you!"

She raised her eyebrows and snorted in disbelief. "You call that easy? Was that why I was giving you such a good run for your gold? If I hadn't tripped, I probably would've won."

Tugging on a fresh sweater, he gave her a dark look. "Keep telling yourself that, Evans. See how far it takes you when you're face to face with a Death Eater."

"Don't be an ass," she snapped impatiently, turning to collect her things. Without even looking at him, she stomped out into the hall and ran almost directly into Alice.

The petite girl took in her furious expression before glancing behind her at the empty doorway. "I thought you guys made up...?"

"Apparently not," she said shortly, brushing past to her own room. "You can tell your dad that surprisingly enough, sex doesn't fix everything."

Alice's eyes widened in surprise. "Then, did you just-?"

"No." She dragged her uniform back in order before pulling out her books for the next class. The bell would ring soon anyway.

"So you got one, too?" Alice said suddenly, drawing her attention to the identical missive in her hands. Frowning, Lily nodded. "There were about a handful of students that received them during lunch."

"Were any of them pure bloods?" Lily asked quietly, not wanting James to overhear.

Alice thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't think so. Why? Do you think it has something to do with-?"

"I don't know," she muttered, linking arms with her as they moved off to class. "We'll just have to wait and see."

If anything, they wouldn't have long to wait. Ministry officials would arrive to collect them in the morning. They had only made it partway to class, however, when Professor McGonagall stopped them in the hall. "Evans, you received a letter from the Ministry, correct? The Headmaster would like to see you in his office."

The girls exchanged a nervous glance. "Well, Alice got one too. And we have class soon-"

"Of course you'll be excused, Evans," Professor McGonagall told her patiently. "Don't make him wait."

Dumbledore was waiting behind his desk when she entered. His long fingers were steepled in front of him as he examined her face. He looked tired. By the time his eyes met hers, he managed a small smile. "Have a seat, Lily. I'm sure you know why you're here."

"Yes, sir," she nodded quickly, moving to perch on the edge of the spindly chair.

"The other students that have been summoned to the Ministry have parents or guardians to supervise their hearings," he said without preamble. "Being of legal age, you don't necessarily need a representative."

"Why should I need one, Headmaster?" she asked nervously. "It's not like I'm going to be tried or anything, is it?"

Dumbledore watched her pensively for a moment before taking a slow breath. "How much do you know about what Potter and Black have been up to outside the school?"

She was studying him just as carefully. Weighing her words. After a moment, she shrugged. "Other than the night that we went out to rescue them, they've pretty much kept me in the dark. Most of what I suspect is based on observation and speculation more than first-hand accounts. The only thing James has really told me directly was that he was going to save the world."

His blue eyes twinkled for just a moment as he nodded. "Yes, he's always been ambitious."

They regarded each other for a silent moment before Lily felt compelled to ask, "Is there something I should be worried about, Headmaster? I mean, I've heard that the only students that were called in were muggleborn or half blood. Do you think this could be a..." She trailed off, feeling foolish.

"A trap?" Dumbledore surmised easily. "Yes, it could be. I don't mind telling you that I have already sent several owls protesting the hearings. I also noticed the lack of pure blooded candidates and considering the fact that there are several students in Hogwarts right now who have been caught under much heavier infractions who were not summoned-" He gave her a significant look, making it easy for her to fill in the blanks. "It makes one wonder what they are really up to."

"What can I do, Professor?" she asked breathlessly, clenching her fingers around her knees as she leaned forward.

At the same time, he leaned back. "It doesn't sit well with my conscience to ask you to take action, Evans. But if you will indulge me, I would request that you report to me after the hearings. With your eyes and ears open, there's no telling what we might learn."

Lily bit her lip, feeling slightly disappointed. Then again, she was young. He couldn't exactly ask her to risk herself for dubious reasons. The only reason he had helped James was because he was going to do it whether he received permission or not.

At length, she nodded. "Yes, Headmaster. I'll do my best."

She rose to leave, but he stopped her with a word. "And Lily?"

"Yes, Headmaster?" she smiled solicitously.

His eyes were solemn as they met hers. "One of the primary duties of the Head Girl is to watch over the other students. In and out of school."

She nodded quickly. "I understand, Professor. I'll do my best to see that everyone gets back safely."

Sirius was waiting for her by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs and she shot him a curious look. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"We've got more important things to worry about," he said shortly, falling into step beside her. "Like what you're going to do at the Ministry. What you plan to say at your hearing. How you intend to stop James from tying you up and stuffing you in a cupboard until all the baddies go away."

"I don't give a flying hippogriff what James thinks, since he's not _doing_ anything," she bit out tersely.

She gave him a hard glare as he sighed, reaching up to scratch irritably behind his ear. "What's he done this time?"

"Just predicting my imminent death by incompetence," she said with an indifferent shrug that belied her furious expression. "He could get a job working for the Prophet with that kind of psychic sensationalism."

Sirius gave her a sharp look. "Predicated on what? I think you've been bloody brilliant lately. Not to mention the fact that you had him on the ropes until someone hit you with that rubbish tripping spell."

Her head came up in surprise. "What spell was this now?"

"When you were dueling," he explained easily as they arrived in the deserted entranceway. "Didn't see who did it, but James caught it clear as I did. I would've demanded a rematch if it were me. You knew, didn't you?"

She could hardly answer him as righteous indignation boiled in her chest. She couldn't believe that she'd been sabotaged. Worse, he _knew_! He'd seen it and had let her think that she just wasn't good enough. Told her he'd gone _easy_ on her. What was he playing at? She fumed through the rest of class and even on into dinner.

She tried to forget her irritation as she settled into the library with Frank and Alice. With her head bent over a torturous Potions essay, she was oblivious to her surroundings until a soft pink rosebud suddenly dangled in front of her nose. Lowering her quill, she plucked it gingerly from the air and glanced around. She hated the way her heart immediately softened when she spotted James leaned against the wall just inside the door, arms crossed and wand out. When she met his eyes, he grinned and motioned her over.

"Wait to hex him until you're out of the library," Alice whispered helpfully. "Madame Pince is watching."

Sighing, she marked her book and pushed herself up. His charming smile didn't slip as she approached, making her heart putter in a way that she didn't quite trust. He hadn't looked at her so openly and affectionately in so long. She couldn't help second-guessing his motives as she stepped hesitantly in front of him.

"Alright, James?" she greeted him softly.

"Got a bit of a problem." He put up a hand to rumple his hair as he turned to walk out the door with her. "Owens had a little accident coming in from Herbology and won't be able to do rounds tonight."

She shot him a searching look. "Did you have anything to do with this accident?"

His eyes widened in the genuine facsimile of shock as he put a hand to his chest. "Me? What did Owens ever do to me? She's one of the sweetest girls at Hogwarts and I would never make the path between the castle and the greenhouses ice over ensuring that she would slip and break her leg just so I could do patrols with you. That would be negligent and selfish."

"You do realize being so oddly specific makes it _that_ much more difficult to believe your story, right?" she chuckled skeptically. When he did nothing but continue smiling at her, she had to look away. What had she been so angry about? She could hardly breathe, let alone think clearly enough to remember such insignificant details.

"So what do you say, Lily?" he murmured enticingly. "Wanna creep around some dark, secluded corridors with me?"

She bit her lip indecisively. Wanting to resist. Desperate to give in. When she continued to hesitate, he leaned close enough to speak in her ear. His subtle scent was almost enough to make her feel lightheaded. "You know when I asked you to see me after class about your grade? What happened was _exactly_ what I had in mind."

Author's Note: I feel like the most horrible person in the world leaving you guys like this again, but come on. That line was perfect! Absolutely perfect. I swear I'm going somewhere with this. In the meantime, please review! Reviews make me so happy!


	25. Chapter 25

"Okay," she agreed softly. "I'll go on patrols with you."

"Brilliant," he said quickly, smoothing his fingers under her chin and tilting her face up to his.

She went rigid when he kissed her in the very public hallway with other students passing by in clear view. He'd been so careful to keep their relationship a secret up to now. Her cheeks flamed when she noticed students literally stopping in their tracks to watch them in stunned fascination, but he only put an arm around her waist and drew her tightly against his chest. The hand on her chin drifted back to clutch her hair as he slanted his mouth passionately over hers, prodding the warm recesses with his tongue in a way that made coherent thought very difficult.

He didn't come up for air until she was nearly trembling and his arrogant grin was enough to rekindle her recently dormant desire to slap his smug face. Instead, she bit her lip and fought for control of her raging hormones. "That- that was-"

"Oi Potter," Marvin Cram, the captain of Ravenclaw's quidditch team, called as he approached from down the hall. His expression made it obvious he suspected some sort of joke. "You lose a bet or something? I didn't think Evans was quite your speed."

The grin he gave him was downright deadly. "Just taking a practical interest in my girlfriend's well-being." He drew his wand like an old western sharpshooter, flicking it around his finger before training it on the other boy's nose with deadly accuracy. The Ravenclaw stopped short, holding up his hands and nearly crossing his eyes to look at the tip in stunned surprise. "And I'll hex the bollocks off anyone who so much as hurts her feelings from now on."

"James-" she scolded softly.

"Back away, Cram," he warned in a hard voice.

"What's gotten into you?" she chuckled as the boy practically turned tail and ran. Even as she said it, she realized she'd missed this James. The playful, loving, protective James was so much more fun than the brooding, complicated James that had been skulking around. She'd had more than her fill of teenage wizard angst lately.

Leaning forward, he pressed an affectionate kiss to the tip of her nose. "Why don't you go finish your homework and meet me in our Common Room around nine?"

She frowned at him thoughtfully, feeling suspicious by this sudden radical change of heart. "You're not gonna tie me up and lock me in a cupboard, are you?"

"Only if you want me to," he promised with a rakish flick of his eyebrows as he leaned in for another kiss.

By the time she'd returned to the library, she was practically floating. She hardly noticed the stares and whispers she received from her schoolmates. In fact, she didn't particularly care about the rumors that were surely spreading around the school like wildfire. Her besotted grin just wouldn't go away as she resumed her place across from Frank and Alice.

"So... good news?" Frank asked carefully.

Alice wasn't quite so optimistic. She'd seen the kiss from the doorway. "Lily, you have to know this is a trap."

"He called me his girlfriend," she beamed, staring blindly at her doomed essay. She'd left the flower on the table, but now she scooped it up, cradling it between her hands like a precious gem as she sniffed its delicate aroma. "He's never said that before."

"He's just trying to manipulate you the way you did him," Alice pointed out with a worried frown. "Lily, if you trust him he's going to hurt you again. Maybe worse than before. You need to keep your guard up. This whole thing stinks to high heaven."

Her green eyes were warm as they flicked up to meet theirs. The soft petals made her lips tingle as she held the blossom to her nose. "I have to trust him, Alice. I love him."

"Even if you get hurt?" Alice asked incredulously.

"I'd say we already know the answer to that," Frank filled in dryly.

Alice turned to give him a sharp look. "Can't you think of something a little more helpful to say?"

"Like what, Al?" he chuckled, not taking offense. "She's going to meet him no matter what we say. You'd be just the same, and you'd hex anyone who tried to get in your way."

"Yes, but _you're_ not a total bastard," she sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

"Thanks, love," he grinned with a pleasant wink.

Setting down the flower, Lily gave them both an earnest look. "I know you guys are worried. I can't say for sure that I trust his motives either, but it's James. I can't-"

"You _can_, you just don't want to," Alice said grimly.

Her eyes hardened with resolve. "If I get hurt, it'll be my own fault."

"No, it'll still be his fault," her friend insisted unhappily.

Though she was right on time, James was already waiting for her. Slouched into one of the squashy chairs beside the fireplace, his head was bent studiously over a copy of The Daily Prophet, scouring the pages for fresh information like he did every day. He didn't look up, even when he heard her enter, but his lips curled into a pleased smile. When she stopped in front of him, he folded the paper and dropped it over the arm of the chair.

"Ready?" he asked cheerfully, holding out his hand to her.

Pressing her lips together, she frowned nervously. "James, are you sure?"

"Sure about what, silly thing?" he laughed, leaning forward to catch her hand and linking his fingers securely through hers. "Let's start in the dungeons and work our way up, yeah?"

"Alright, then." She couldn't help staring at him. Was this even James? He seemed so carefree. So happy. It felt like ages since he'd been so untroubled. She tugged him obligingly to his feet and peered at him quizzically as he withdrew that old mouldering bit of parchment. "What are you doing?"

He tapped it with his wand, being sure to keep it away from her as his eyes flicked over whatever appeared. "Right, everything seems in order."

Raising an eyebrow at him, she leaned forward curiously. "What is that anyway?"

Before she could look, he tapped and folded it with a mischievous grin. "It's a secret."

Tilting her head to the side, she regarded him coyly. "Don't I get to know any of your secrets?"

His eyebrows rose fractionally as he stored both wand and parchment in his back pocket before putting his hands on her hips and pulling her toward him. Her pulse throbbed as she put her hands on his chest, desperate to keep some sort of distance between herself and his deadly charm. Her breath caught as he leaned over her. "What do you want to know?"

She smiled as his lips brushed lightly over hers. "Everything."

The kiss started out playful. Harmless. It was easy to let her guard down. His fingers were gentle as they traced over her hips in tantalizing circles and teasingly tugged at her skirt. His lips were light and soft as they nipped and brushed hers in a way that made her senses swim. Rather than pushing him back, her hands gripped his sweater. When he tugged her forward, she moved easily even as he resumed his seat pulled her down into his lap.

Drawing back suddenly, she smiled and shook her head at him. Combing her hand into his hair, she said, "We need to go on patrols."

"It's sorted," he assured her gently, brushing his fingers over her neck before pulling her closer. "The only students out are the ones snogging and it'd be a little hypocritical to roust them now."

Biting her lip, she turned reluctantly away from his kiss. "James, really... We can't just put it off."

"Trust me, Lily," he said softly, nuzzling her ear.

For some reason, the words made her uneasy. The way he said her name... She suddenly had the nagging sensation that something was wrong, which made the situation not the least bit romantic. Trying to work it through, she pushed herself off his lap and took a nervous pace toward the fire. "James... why are you doing this?"

He stayed silent for a moment. The chair creaked and she turned to see him leaning forward with his hands clasped between his knees. His face was a pleasantly confused mask. "What do you mean? I thought this was what you wanted."

She hugged herself nervously, unable to dispel that uneasy sensation. His words didn't sit well for some reason. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Letting out a frustrated growl, he lifted his hand to scratch irritably behind his ear. All at once, the pieces fell into place and she took an abrupt step back. "Sirius?"

He froze. Just for an instant, but it was long enough. Her mouth sagged in horror and she covered it quickly, taking another step back. Catching her expression, Sirius finally sighed and spoke in his normal voice. "Well done, Lily. You figured it out. James will be pleased so long as you don't fall into the fire- Can you move away from there before you hurt yourself?"

"He put you up to this?" Something in her chest cracked painfully and tears flooded her eyes. "Is this one of his stupid tests?"

"Lily-" he tried to reason with her.

"What is _wrong_ with you two?" she practically screamed, betrayal and anger overflowing. "Don't you have any- any-? Gods I don't even know what you don't have!"

"I wanted to prove to him that you can handle anything," he insisted patiently. "That you're clever enough and _good_ enough for him to trust you. James didn't-"

"You know what Sirius? I don't want to hear it!" she shouted. "Get out! And go tell your friend I passed his bloody test!"

"Lily-"

The mirror above the fireplace cracked as she pulled out her wand. All of his reasonable protests were forgotten as she shot every spell she could think of at him, making it necessary for him to almost literally run for his life. The mirror shattered and all of the books crashed from the shelves as the door slammed behind him and she slumped to the floor in tears.

She spent the night with Alice. She didn't want to see him. More than that, she didn't want to fight with him. He could always argue circles around her. For some reason, she expected him to be waiting for her when she went to get ready, but he was in the shower. Taking advantage of the distraction, she rushed into her room for a change of clothes and anything she might need while she was away.

"Alright, Evans?" he called suddenly, making her stiffen. She didn't turn as she stuffed some things haphazardly into a bag. He waited for a moment before moving next to her, still dripping from the shower and covered by only a towel. His smile was friendly as he tilted his head at her. "What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Her eyes sliced him sharply, but he seemed completely unperturbed. If anything, it was more infuriating than a nervous apology. Of course he'd be fine. He'd finally accomplished his goal: she didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Well done, James. Biting her tongue, she dropped her eyes. "Nothing."

"Is it the hearing?" he guessed innocently. "Because you really don't have to go. I spoke with my dad and-"

"Sod off," she interrupted angrily, hooking her satchel over her shoulder and heading toward the door. He caught her hand before she could take two steps and she spun to glare at him, wrenching out of his grasp. "I get it, okay? I'm not good enough for you! I never was and I never will be! I'm just a useless little mud-"

His hand clapped roughly over her mouth and he glared down at her. "I told you never to say that word!"

Grabbing her wand, she shot fire at his bare foot that made him jump in surprise. His eyes grew wide, but she could see his temper coming to a boil. She'd never really tried to hurt him before. "You _are not_ my father! You can't tell me what to do!"

"I'm just trying to look after you, you stupid cow!" he cried furiously.

"I _don't_ need you to protect me, Potter!" she spat just as viciously.

"Says the girl who has no idea how dangerous the situation actually is," he scoffed, rubbing his wet hair irritably. "Maybe I should've gone with my first instinct and stuffed you up inside a cupboard. With the way you're acting, you really are going to die..."

She glared at him hatefully. "Fuck you, James! Unlike some people, I know how to ask for help when I need it."

"Well don't bother calling me when it all goes wrong," he snapped.

"I won't!" she shouted, spinning on her heel and marching out the door.

She had to fight tears as she stomped down the stairs. The Ministry officials were already waiting along with a small group of students in the Great Hall. Alice was there and Lily was surprised to see Megan Givens as well. She wasn't the last student to join them, but they left quickly. Through special permission, they had arranged Floo transport for all of the children and Dumbledore was in attendance to make sure everything went smoothly.

A tall, thin woman dressed in immaculate black robes was waiting for them on the other side. Her mass of frizzy black hair had been twisted into a tight knot at the back of her head, making the sharp, pale contours of her face stand out all the more. Her dark eyes glittered as her lips parted in a cold smile. "Ah good, you're all here. We've been expecting you."

In all her life, Lily had never met someone she so instantly disliked. Though she looked like a lady, she couldn't ignore the creepy feeling that something else was looking through her eyes. Something cold and deadly, poised to strike like a viper. She caught Alice's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Come along, children," she instructed briskly, turning her back to lead them across the sparkling lobby.

"Stick close to me," Lily warned Alice anxiously.

"No talking!" The woman's voice lashed out like a whip and Lily glanced up to find her regarding them with a deadly glare. After just a moment, the look passed and she smiled ingenuously. "Wouldn't do to keep the ministers waiting, dearies."

Peering around, Lily couldn't help but notice the odd hush. There was no lack of workers rushing to and fro, but for the most part they kept their heads down. Few people were talking. No one was smiling. The far wall seemed to be papered with posters advertizing everything from Five Signs to Identifying Suspicious Behavior to missing and wanted person posters.

"Into the lifts," the severe witch instructed, pressing the button and gesturing as the gleaming doors slid open.

"Surely all of us won't fit, ma'am," Lily spoke up cautiously, nearly flinching when she received a sharp glare.

The woman examined her face closely before baring her teeth in a terrifying smile. "You must be the Head Girl. Allens-"

"Evans, ma'am," Lily clarified quickly.

Her eyes seemed to freeze over as she jabbed her finger at the lifts. "Of course. Now, Miss Evans, if you had been raised in the wizarding world and knew anything about magic, you'd know that the lifts can be magically extended to accommodate more than fifty people. Can you tell me how many students there are with you today?"

Lily's cheeks glowed as the woman continued to stare at her expectantly. She acted as though she thought Lily was too dim to count the small group of students. "Fifteen, ma'am. And while the lifts can accommodate a larger number of people, that's only for emergencies. Usually the lift can't fit more than ten."

"Then we'll have to squeeze together, won't we?" she replied tersely.

Growing increasingly anxious, the children moved to do as she asked. No one wanted to stand near her in the cramped space. Though there wasn't much room they all did their best to crowd away. She didn't seem to notice as she kept her pointed chin up and her eyes fixed on the numbers as they descended into the bowels of the Ministry.

The gleaming doors opened onto a dank dungeon that didn't remotely resemble the gleaming floors above. The air was stale, smokey, and cold and water dripped everywhere. Lily led the pack as the students crowded close behind her. They were shown into a dank, airless waiting room with nothing but low benches running along the walls and stinky torches providing meagre light. A barred door was the only other exit on the other side.

"Now then," the woman said as she turned to face them. "Why don't you lot make yourself comfortable? We'll bring you in one at a time to meet with your parents and the council. Evans? Come along with me. The Head Girl should always be the first to go."

Lily exchanged a nervous glance with Alice before slowly releasing her hand. She had her wand tucked up her sleeve just in case and she gripped the strap of her satchel as she followed her through the barred door. The next room was like an enormous sunken amphitheater with a single chair on a raised platform in the center of the room. The woman snapped her fingers and told her to sit, even though no one else was in the room. Her mouth went dry as she slowly approached, a hard throb of fear jarring her stomach.

The wood was cold and smooth as she took a seat and the woman's smile was murderous as she looked up at her. "There's a good girl." Without warning, chains sprang from the chair, lashing her down painfully. She grunted in surprise, but the woman's look was pleased. "Comfy?"

"What is this?" she spluttered in panic. The loud creak of a door brought her head around and her eyes went wide as a pale figure was led in between two figures in black robes. "_Petunia?_"

Her sister didn't look up as she shuffled across the room. Her eyes were vague and unfocused as they stared at the floor. Smirking, the woman twisted her wand between her fingers as she moved over to her. "Interesting how the clever mudblood who managed to claw her way up to being Head Girl has such a useless Muggle for a sister."

"What have you done to her?" Lily spat, fighting vainly against the chains. "Who are you?"

Letting out a low chuckle, she stabbed her wand in Petunia's direction, causing the thin girl to shriek and double over in pain. "Oh, a little of this. Little of that."

"Touch her again, bitch," Lily snapped, straining forward.

Seeming delighted by her rage, the woman turned to Petunia once more. "_Crucio!_"

"_Stupefy!_" She'd managed just enough space to grasp her wand and slide it free. While the woman dropped to the ground, she released the chains and spun to defend herself. One of the figures was almost there, sprinting across the room with his wand out. "_Eximo!_"

As if on strings, the man was jerked off his feet and flew into the wall with a hard thud. She turned to the last man to find him holding her sister with his black wand trained on her throat. "Not another step, mudblood."

"Let her go," she murmured darkly, ignoring him as she hopped down from the dais. "You want me."

He let out a low chuckle. "You? Who would want you? All I want is to dispose of wretched vermin like you."

The door burst open behind her and Lily used the opportunity to hit him with a stunning spell that knocked him and her sister flat. "Lily? Oh my god, what's happening?"

"It was a trap, Alice," she shouted dully, rushing over to help her sister. "Fuck! James was right."

"Hate it when that happens," the blonde said wryly, rushing over to provide cover while the other students trailed nervously behind. "Who's she?"

"Petunia," she whispered, dragging her away from the man's clutches. "Oh god, why is she here?" Alice's eyes snapped anxiously as she looked at the closed door behind the crumpled figures. Lily's mind jumped to the same thought as she spun around. "Givens- don't you have a sister?"

Megan seemed to jump in surprise. She had been staring at the prone bodies in shock with everyone else, but she slowly nodded. "Yeah. But Jackie's a muggle. What does that have to do with-?"

"What about you, Wesport?" Lily asked the astonished fourth year. "Do you have any siblings who don't have magic?"

His dark head bobbed the affirmative. The other children looked shocked as they slowly realized the pattern. Stepping over them, Alice moved to open the door. "They're here. Oh god, they're all in here. Giddy? Gideon can you hear me?"

Loud popping echoed through the dungeons as Lily managed to revive her sister, filling her with alarm as she hauled the girl to her feet. "Okay, Tuny, we've gotta go-"

With the other students looking after their own siblings, they rushed back into the first room. Hoping to get into the hall but finding their way barred by three figures in black cloaks with terrifying masks. Shouting in surprise, Lily pushed Petunia off on Givens and broke out her wand, shooting to provide cover for the younger students as they trampled back into the amphitheater. Alice was right at her side, fighting with savage strength.

"Back! Stay back!" Lily shouted to the younger children as they edged toward the door.

"They're coming in on the other side!" someone screamed, hysterical tears evident in their voice.

"Go Alice!" Lily snapped, shoving her friend out of the way just before a lacerating spell clawed over her forearm. She shrieked, but rather than crumpling, used a concussion charm to knock the Death Eaters back with a deafening blast. Slamming the door behind her and securing it with a ward Sirius had taught her, she raced toward the other side of the room. "My bag! Get my bag!"

Alice, Megan, and a fifth year Hufflepuff were doing their best at the other door. The younger students and their siblings huddled in fear on the stands. Lily knelt down to upend the satchel brought to her by a trembling first year. She smiled hastily, putting a hand on his head. "It's going to be fine. I'll get us out of here."

She scrabbled through the items on the floor, tossing Alice a package of dungbombs before laying her hands on the small oval mirror she had gotten from James. She never went anywhere without it, despite what he thought. And though it may irk her, now was not the time to be proud. She flicked it furiously and shouted, "James! I need you!"

Nothing happened. She stared at her reflection helplessly before discarding it, something akin to panic clawing at her chest. A loud blast on the far side of the room told her that they had broken through the ward by practically reducing the wall around the door to dust. Shooting to her feet, Lily spun and held out her wand as the cloaked figures poured in. At their head was a vision from her nightmares.

"Back, Eli," she whispered dryly, putting a hand out to urge the little boy behind her. The Dark Lord regarded her as though she was a fly in his tea. "Get back now."

Tilting his head to the side, the man's cold eyes slid over her face. "I know you."

Her insides seemed to freeze as he stepped toward her, but she gritted her teeth and lifted her wand. He seemed to find the challenge amusing, but a loud sob distracted him. He glanced toward the children huddling in the stand and smiled, an animalistic baring of his teeth as he raised his wand. "_Crucio!_"

"No!" Megan shrieked, rushing forward to stop him.

He blasted her back with a sweep of his hand, but now he had Lily and Alice to contend with. Lily peppered his ranks with spells while Alice tossed the dungbombs like grenades. The Death Eaters fought just as hard, but the girls were small and fast. An alarm suddenly began to wail somewhere far off and a calm voice sounded around them. "You-Know-Who has been spotted. This is not a test. Please proceed to the nearest secure area."

Snarling, Voldemort glared at Lily as though it was all her fault and raised his wand to strike. Her entire body shook as she whipped out a counter spell, but a loud series of pops gave him pause. Aurors apparated all around them and the Death Eaters who were still conscious were forced to flee. The silence that followed was almost deafening, even as the calm announcement continued to drone on.

"Are you kids alright?"

"What were you doing down here?"

"I need a mediwizard over here quick!"

Lily spun to offer her assistance but stopped short when she spotted an auror bending over Megan. Ten feet up on the wall was a thick splatter of blood that mirrored the one pooling around her head. Her eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling. Wind seemed to rush in her ears as she heard her sister call, "Meg? Meggie, are you okay?"

When she didn't respond, the child began screaming and Alice rushed to stop her as she flew down from the seats. Hugging her tightly, she touched her head with her wand and whispered a sleeping charm that sent her immediately unconscious.

"We'll need to contact Dumbledore," one of the aurors mused as he began rounding up the frightened children. "Find out what the devil is going on here."

"He's already here," the gnarled wizard Lily had met during the summer grunted as he appeared in the doorway. A bulging blue eye had replaced the patch she had first seen and it spun dizzyingly to take in the scene. "Along with the children's parents. They were waiting for a hearing, but none of the children ever showed up."

"That woman led us down here," Lily said suddenly finding her voice. She turned to point and found that she had disappeared with the rest.

"What woman?" another auror asked her sharply. "What was her name?"

"She didn't tell us her name," Alice replied, shaking her head. "She was waiting for us."

"Levski says he was cursed, Moody." Lily spun to find James walking into the room with the Minister who had sent them in tow. His eyes were remote and cold as they skirted over the students, hardly touching her face before moving on.

The auror shot him an irritable glare as he handed over the dazed official. "What are you doing here, Potter? Didn't I tell you I didn't want to see your skinny hide back here before graduation-"

"Or so help you, you'd hex me three ways from Sunday," James filled in easily. "Yes, I know. Dumbledore sent me to collect the students and drop this off for questioning."

Moody examined the man thoroughly before shooting James a dark look. "What'd you do to him?"

He shrugged. "Just subdued him a little. Now, if you don't mind-"

One of the Death Eaters that had been unconscious suddenly roused. Lily saw him sit up as if in slow motion, raising his wand toward the closest target: James. She didn't think. Lurching forward, she jabbed her wand and shouted, "_Stupefy!_"

The force of the spell slammed him back into the wall and James' eyes flew to her face in startled surprise. For a moment, he thought she was trying to attack _him_. She raised her eyebrows grimly as a pair of aurors rushed over to take the limp figure into custody. Turning her back on him, Lily moved to gather up the children.

They didn't speak as they returned to the lifts. One of the students had gathered her things into her satchel and handed it over as the doors closed in front of them. She could feel James at her side. He didn't look at her or touch her, but she could feel him.

Angry, frantic parents were waiting in the lobby for their children. Alice's father was there with a furious expression. Frank was with him, gathering her into a fierce hug before she could get a single word out. It was a mess, full of people shouting and crying in fear and anger. All asking the same question: How could this happen?

Lily watched it all like it was a dream. Megan was dead. Never mind her own injuries. She'd _died_. She hadn't been able to protect her. She could see her mother clutching her little sister, screaming as though her heart was breaking. No one else seemed to notice.

"It's not your fault," James said suddenly. He had stayed by her side the whole time and his voice was low and reassuring.

She nodded. "I know."

"There was nothing you could do," he assured her calmly.

"I _know_," she repeated impatiently, tears filling her eyes. His arms suddenly folded around her, drawing her close as he put a hand on the back of her head to press it firmly onto his shoulder. She gasped in pain, fisting her hands in his shirt. "I didn't think you'd come-"

"Don't be stupid," he smiled, rocking her gently. "I'll always come for you. Not even my own damn arrogance could stop me."

She raised her eyebrows with a tired smile. "And that's a force stronger than death itself."

He grinned as he leaned down to kiss her. "Too right it is."

Author's Note: I'm taking a little sabbatical. Need some time to brainstorm and rest up. Now I know you're all spoiled by me updating every day or so, but just bear with me. I'll be back with something awesome in a week or so.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: My, my, I do have the most impatient readers on earth. Oh, but I love you guys. Sorry it took me so long to update. I was a little pooped after writing so furiously for over a month. I took a little sabatical, but now, here it is: A bright shiny new chapter that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. I hope you like it too. I'll probably be updating more slowly after this, but here's at least a little piece of fluff to tide you over. And to everyone's relief, I have changed the rating. You're welcome.**

James didn't speak to her again as things were slowly resolved. The parents were livid. Ministry officials were baffled and unhelpful. Alastor Moody appointed aurors to bring the families home and set guards to protect them over night. In the midst of everything, Dumbledore herded up the few students who were allowed to return and ushered them to the fireplaces. He had handled everything as best he could, but, for the first time in Lily's memory, he looked old. Worn down. Drained. Oddly enough she felt the same way.

They were brought straight to the hospital wing for Madame Pomfrey's care. James put a restraining hand on her shoulder when she tried to see to the other students. She gave him a weary look. "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine," she murmured dully. "Wesport is crying."

"You and Alice are the only ones who got hurt," he said, urging her insistently toward one of the hospital beds.

Tears pricked her eyes as she glanced up at him. "Givens _died_."

"Pushing yourself until you collapse won't bring her back," he told her in a hard voice.

"How can you even say that?" she snapped, her voice going up a strident octave.

His expression didn't flicker. "Because it's true. It's not your fault that she died."

"I know!" she practically shouted, drawing the attention of the other students. "I didn't kill her! That bloody, fucking bastard killed her and he's going to kill you too and you're not going to let me lift a finger to help you, you sodding wanker! Because I'm too fucking perfect, aren't I? Too bleeding precious to be touched, yeah? This _fucking_ war can't reach me so long as I keep my head buried in the sand and let _you_ fight! That's how it works, isn't it, James?"

"Lily-" Alice called uncomfortably.

"You are going to die without my help!" she cried, bordering on hysterical as she shoved her finger in his face. His eyes remained stoic and impassive as she railed at him. "Why can't you see that? Why don't you need me as much as I need you?"

Madame Pomfrey cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Perhaps you two should-" Lily slapped her hand across his chest and she frowned sternly. "Now really, Evans-"

"I hate you, James Potter!" she shouted, slapping every inch of him she could reach. "I hate you!"

She was crying so hard she couldn't see him when he bent down to catch her around the thighs. He stood swiftly and turned to Madame Pomfrey. "I think the Head Girl's had some brain trauma. I'll see to her personally, Poppy."

He strode out of the room before the surprised nurse could make any type of coherent objection, but Lily was full of them. Kicking her legs and beating her fists on his back, she shouted everything she could think of at him. It was lucky she couldn't see the other students stopping to stare as they passed by, but James didn't pay them any mind as he walked directly to their apartments. He didn't pause in the common room, but moved straight through to the bathroom. He switched on the shower and dumped her unceremoniously inside.

"Cool your head off, Evans," he said shortly.

She tried to hit him, but he caught her fist deftly. They stood nose to nose, glaring each other down for the barest second before he kissed her. Dropping her hand, he dug his fingers into her hair and crowded her back against the wall. He didn't notice the water falling over them as he forced her mouth open so that he could take possession. She gripped the sleeves of his shirt, still wanting to fight him but somehow unable to move. She could taste the salt of her tears on his lips as they slid roughly over hers.

After a long moment, he pulled back. His expression was wry as he gripped her hair and gingerly knocked her head back against the tile. "Really, how stupid are you, Lily?"

She lifted her eyebrows at him. "Gee, and just when I was considering forgiving you..."

"I mean it," he said in that same soft, teasing tone. "You think I don't need you?"

Tears puddled in her eyes as she nodded. "Of course you don't need me. You're James Potter. You don't need anyone but your mates. I'm just-"

He kissed her again, releasing one hand from her hair to run his fingers down her cheek to her chin, and then on down her throat. She could feel a warm blush starting from the tender contact and hated him for the way he could burn her up without even trying. His finger caught her tie and dragged it loose before he drew back again. "I love you. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course," she panted. Though the water running over them was cold, she felt like she was steaming in her uniform. Luckily he seemed inclined to help her out of it as he reached for the buttons on her cardigan.

"But it's not enough," he surmised, pushing the sweater off her shoulders and moving on to her blouse.

Her eyes were pained as she looked up at him. "You know what I want, James. I want you to accept me. Let me help you. Stop trying to protect me so that I can work with you instead of fighting against you all the time. We could do so much more together-"

"Sirius is an idiot," he said suddenly, keeping his eyes on his fingers as he freed each button. "I'd never ask you to prove yourself to me. I know exactly what you're capable of. Probably better than you do."

Her eyes clouded with confusion. "Then why-?"

"Because I _need_ you, Lily," he admitted harshly as he popped the last button off her blouse instead of undoing it like the rest. His eyes reluctantly moved to her face and she was startled to see his guard down, really down for the first time in her memory. He looked so frightened that she nearly started crying again. Seeing the look, he cupped his hands around her cheeks and leaned his forehead into hers. "I need you so much it scares me. If anything were to happen to you... I just- I don't know what I would do. I'd rather have you hate me and be safe then put you in danger. Even if you were with someone else, so long as I knew you'd be safe-"

"Don't be stupid," she chided him softly, combing her fingers into the hair at the back of his head. "Who could look after me half as well as you?"

He laughed. It was so unexpected that she could only stare at him in confusion. After a moment, he leaned his forehead into hers and smiled. "You're really so sly, Lily."

"Sly?" she repeated blankly. Even without the confusing assertion that smile was doing wicked things to her brain.

"Just when I've made up my mind, you always do something I don't expect," he chuckled, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead. "Then you make one of those cute faces and I can't tell you no anymore."

The way he brushed his lips over hers was so painfully tender that her heart broke just a little. She wanted to ask him what he meant. To press the issue. But she was too fragile right now to be rejected again. The hope that was slowly unfolding in her chest was too delicate. He could crush it with a word and she wasn't sure she could recover this time.

His tugged her blouse off and reached around to unfasten her skirt. Once she was relatively free for his perusal he removed his wand and touched her lightly, taking care to heal each cut, scrape, and bruise until there was nothing left. After that, he reached for his own tie.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, her voice seeming to falter as she tracked each of his movements.

His sweater and shirt came off with one tug and his eyes glinted with irony as he shot her a sideways look, but he didn't smile. He shook his head. "You would follow me anywhere, wouldn't you?"

"Of course," she agreed in confusion.

"Trust me with your very life?" His hands went to his belt as he undid his trousers and let them fall into the rising puddle of clothing.

She nodded without hesitation. "Yes."

Leaning forward, he pressed his palms flat on the tile around her. "Everyone does. Sirius and the others. Even Dumbledore thinks I know what I'm doing. But, Lily, I _don't_. I'm just making this up as I go along."

"That's okay," she murmured comfortingly, reaching up to trace one of the scar lines on his chest.

He retreated quickly and she got the distinct impression that he would've begun to pace if the shower stall wasn't so small. Running both hands through his hair as though he wanted to pull it out, he shook his head at her. "No, it's not. I'm James fucking Potter. I'm _supposed_ to know what I'm doing. Everyone believes in me and everyone trusts me to get them through. What if I can't? What if I'm not enough?"

"That's why you have friends," she chided him softly.

He went on as though he hadn't heard her. "I bungled things last time and nearly got Sirius killed. Then you show up to rescue my sorry ass. Merlin's beard, I can't do anything right!"

"James-" she called, putting her hand out to touch him.

"And you're trying so hard and you're so cute and determined and ruddy _brilliant_ no matter how much of a bastard I am," he continued obliviously, "but all I can think of is that sooner or later something terrible is going to happen to you and it will be all my fault."

She rapped his forehead sharply with her knuckles and gave him a stern look. "Don't be stupid, James. You're too clever for that. _None_ of this is your fault."

"I'm just a man, Lily," he said softly, his voice pleading with her to accept that.

He looked so desperate that she had to smile. Scanning her eyes over his mostly nude frame, she shook her head at him before moving forward to draw him into a warm hug. "No, you're just a kid mixed up in a war that's too big for you. But that doesn't mean you're useless. You're taking too much on yourself."

"Lily-" he sighed unhappily.

"Let me help you," she insisted. "_Trust_ _me_. You say you'll do anything for me, so do this. Please, James."

Rather than answer, he kissed her. Desperately. The fingers of one hand dug into her hair while the other cupped the small of her back, urging her against him. She was alarmed by his icy skin. God, he was freezing!

As if he could read her mind, he trailed a line of kisses over her cheek and hugged both arms around her body. His voice was low and needy as he murmured against her ear, "I'm so cold, Lily."

A strong surge of love and protectiveness rolled through her. Kissing him fiercely, she reached back to switch off the taps and offered her body heat willingly. Pressing against him, she rubbed her hands over his arms to his shoulders, then on down his chest to the hard plane of his stomach. Without thinking, she strayed lower.

He was already stiff and she smiled against his lips as she stroked him, touching him with only the tips of her fingers. A low growl rumbled in his chest as he lifted his hand from her back, pinching the clasp of her bra before ripping the garment away. She shivered as his cold hand closed over her bare breast, kneading and pressing until her goosebumps melted.

Keeping her lips fastened against his, she pushed him gently. He edged back just a step, reluctant to loose contact. She continued pressing him until they finally made it to his bedroom. Backing him straight into the bed she sent him sprawling onto the mattress. Crawling over him, she pressed tender kisses into his skin as she murmured a drying spell. It was a relief when he finally began to respond.

Letting out a low rumble of pleasure, he hooked his arm around her waist and flipped her over, pinning her into the cushions as he kissed her passionately. Her body seemed to flare as his fingers flicked over her skin, teasing her breast before smoothing down her stomach. She gasped and arched involuntarily when without hesitation they slipped under the soft fabric of her knickers.

"James-" she panted, clutching his arm in surprise as he rubbed his fingers over her sensitive nub.

"Do you know how I feel when you're like this?" he murmured, bending his head to nip at the peak of her heaving breast. His hands were burning her. When had he gotten so hot?

Her nails tore at the sheets as he slid one long finger inside of her. "Ah!"

"It's better than flying," he whispered harshly, drawing back so that he could meet her eyes.

She didn't know why he bothered since all there was to see was the madness. God, did he know what he did to _her_? Moaning, she twisted vainly against him. Trying to form coherent thoughts. It was almost impossible when all she felt was _need_.

"When I'm with you, I feel like I can do _anything,_" he breathed earnestly.

Lily smiled as his words penetrated the passionate fog roiling through her mind. Reaching up, she put a hand on his cheek. "That's the way you should always feel."

His hand retreated and she lifted her hips obligingly when he tugged at her knickers. She'd been wanting this for so long, but now her heart fluttered nervously. Biting her lip, she pressed her knees together with her feet planted on either side of him. Catching her nervous look, he grinned. "Scared, Evans?"

She frowned at him disapprovingly. "Why do you insist on calling me that?"

Smirking, he bent to press his lips to her knees. "Have to."

Her cheeks flushed when he gently pried her legs apart to drop electric kisses and licks over the silky skin of her inner thighs, moving slowly down toward her core. "Why?"

He lifted an eyebrow at her and paused. Her body nearly revolted against her for the stupid, pushy question, but when he spoke his voice was like a physical touch, making her skin prickle. "So that no one will guess how much I love you each time I say your name."

She gasped as he bent his head once more, passing his lips over the sensitive skin of her inner thigh and murmuring her name in a way that made her go rigid with pleasure. The wet brush of his tongue over her throbbing core was almost too much for her and she cried out before shoving her fist in her mouth to stifle the moans. He shot her another amused look. "No one can hear us, Lily."

She closed her eyes, feeling unaccountably embarrassed as he continued using his tongue in the most wicked way. The heat was bulding inside her body, making her go crazy. Her entire frame practically shuddered with each playfully stroke and she nearly screamed when his tongue darted inside of her. Clawing her hand into his hair, she tugged impatiently.

"James-" she panted desperately.

She didn't need to look at him to hear the smile in his voice. He didn't move as he solicitously replied, "Yes, Lily?"

"I hate you," she groaned, tugging his hair harder.

In spite of her rebellious anger, he laughed. Her cheeks flushed even hotter as he moved to cover her with his body. At some point he had relieved himself of his boxers, so he pressed teasingly against her as he stung her neck with his kisses. "You see? No one else would say something like that. You really are sly, Lily."

He prodded her and she moaned wholeheartedly. Wrapping his hand in her hair, he kissed her hard. "Look at me."

On their own, her eyes opened. His face was red and tense with the effort of holding himself back, making her smile. Seeing that, he grinned and pushed inside. She cried out in pain, but he held himself still to give her a moment to adjust. Taking a breath, she tried to relax herself around him. Once she did that, she realized it wasn't so bad. It was actually thrilling to be so full of him. She raised her hips experimentally and he groaned.

"That's my girl," he murmured into her ear, somehow managing to give her chills as she thought her body was going to explode.

He rocked against her slowly. Gently. As though he was afraid of hurting her, but she was already long past that. She did everything she could to spur him on: rubbing her bare chest against his and running her hands through his hair in a way she knew he liked. She bit his neck hard and he growled in response, hastening his movements. She gasped, but lifted herself to meet each of his thrusts, the pressure and pleasure building so hot inside of her that she knew she'd just melt at any moment.

His hands raced over her body, toying and teasing. Giving her chills one moment and causing little pricks of delicious pain the next. She moaned and his thrusts became rougher, faster, and more frenzied. Causing her to cry out even louder. All at once, he covered her mouth with his own and she felt him tense before the hot release burst inside of her. Her body contracted in response and she clung to him helplessly as he collapsed on top of her.

They lay still for a moment. Content to hold each other as they got back their breath. Struck by a sudden wave of amusement, Lily smiled into his shoulder, hugging him tightly. After a moment, he tried to pull back to look at her, but she hid her face. "You'd better not be crying, Evans."

Biting her lip, she looked up at him with laughter in her eyes. "About time you put out, Potter."


	27. Chapter 27

A sharp, stinging snap across her backside made Lily yelp in pain, a loud disturbance in a classroom full of students practicing silent spells. She had been sparring with Alice and her friend lowered her wand in confusion. It was understandable considering the fact that she had felt Lily deflect her last spell. The force of it had even blown her back a step.

Rubbing her smarting rear, Lily shot James a furious look, but he was far too busy offering one of his students some helpful advice to do something so unnecessary and petty. Unfortunately he was also grinning so wickedly that it left little doubt in her mind that he was, in fact, the culprit. Biting her lip, she silently cast a tickling charm at him. Catching the movement, his wand flicked up automatically to block, but he was still pretending not to be attacking her which meant he didn't see the subtle upward twitch that followed.

"Lily...?" Alice whispered curiously.

"Wait just a second," she murmured, blocking his next spell and smiling in anticipation.

Without warning, his face turned red and he spun to glare at her. "_Evans!_"

"Yes Professor?" she replied innocently.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for attacking a teacher," he announced as he stalked across the room.

"A bit unfair, that," Lily mused skeptically. "Especially considering the fact-"

"Keep going and it'll be detention," he warned.

He stopped directly in front of her, putting his hands on his hips to glare at her through the thick sheen of laughter in his eyes. She was sure to everyone else he looked livid. Her own eyes were sparkling with humor, but she tossed her hair over her shoulder and leveled him with a look of haughty disdain.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Detention? That's rich since you attacked me when my back was turned!"

"It was a _learning_ exercise, Evans," he explained impatiently. "You can't always expect an attack to come from the front-"

"Excuse me for following the rules _you_ set up at the beginning of class!" Lily practically shouted.

"Clearly you can't even keep up with the simplest improvisation," James sneered, turning away while he rumpled his hair agitatedly. "I'll need to see you after class, Evans."

She could practically feel the pitying looks she was getting from her classmates and she knew what they were thinking without even hearing the whispers. Poor thing. Why was he so hard on her? Were they really dating? How did he expect her to perform adequately when he didn't play by the rules? She had to bite her lip against laughter as James furiously dismissed the class. He sounded so angry that no one was anxious to linger for the ensuing argument.

He waited until the last footsteps had receded before turning back to her with an incredulous look. "Really, Lily? Where did you even learn that spell?"

She grinned unrepentantly as she took a seat on the corner of his desk. "Sirius."

"Okay, I'm never leaving you alone with him again," James sighed, rumpling his hair as he took his place in front of her. After glancing down at his all too obvious erection, his eyebrows lifted and he gave her a wry smile. "Care to give me a hand with what you started?"

"What? _Here?_" she giggled, flushing and glancing nervously over her shoulder.

His eyes sparkled as he tried to scowl at her. Putting his hands on her knees, he said, "You need to take responsibility for your actions, love. I saw you bending over to pick up your wand earlier. That was direct provocation-"

"How else would you expect me to retrieve it?" Lily laughed, scooting obligingly forward as he moved between her legs.

"-then you insist on wearing these damned short little skirts," he accused, smoothing his hands up her thighs for emphasis.

"It's called a uniform and if you find it distracting you can take it up with the headmaster," she shot back playfully. Cupping his hands around her rear, he pulled her forward to kiss her and she turned her face away. "I am _not_ shagging you in the Defense room, James Potter. What happens if Beetle-?"

"_Fine_," he sighed impatiently, releasing one hand to drag that mouldering parchment out of his back pocket. He didn't stop her as she leaned forward to look when he tapped it with his wand. He raised an eyebrow over the spidery lines before nodding. "Empty storage cupboard two corridors down should do it."

"Be still my heart," she laughed as he quickly stowed it before tossing her over his shoulder and sprinting for the hallway. "Why can't we just go to our rooms?"

"It's _your_ fault. You're the one that made the matter all urgent," he hissed, skirting past the open door of Professor Binns' classroom before dodging into the empty cupboard. Kicking the door shut behind him, he locked it without even using his wand as he dropped her to her feet and swept her against the far wall, clattering an empty bucket in the process.

Giggling against his lips, she hushed him as she dug her fingers into his hair. "These walls aren't soundproof, you know."

"Then _somebody's_ going to have to learn to be quiet," he teased, fumbling with his trousers as he spread a line of hot kisses over her throat. Catching her thighs, he lifted her easily and pinned her to the wall with his body before clawing her knickers out of the way.

"James! Someone's coming," she gasped in a panic when she heard a step outside the door.

"It's probably Wormtail wanking outside again," he murmured as he adjusted himself at her entrance.

"_Again?_" she asked in a panic, beginning to struggle.

He gave her a wry look. "It was a joke, Lily."

"It had better be," she warned him angrily. "Put me down, James. I don't want to do this here."

He frowned in disapproval, but loosened his hold on her so that she could set her feet down. "Don't give me that, Evans. You're already wet and I'm about to explode."

"Good, then you won't have any trouble finishing yourself off," she replied airily, pushing past him toward the door.

He caught her before she could take another step and dragged her back against him. His voice was so low that it sent tremors across her skin as he murmured, "What about you?"

"I'll be fine," she insisted, trying not to laugh since she was _trying_ to be angry.

"It's dangerous to keep everything all pent up. You're liable to have an accident," he teased, combing her hair over her shoulder to nuzzle her ear more persuasively than any argument. "Don't be cross, Lily."

Against her will, she felt herself weaken. It was irritating considering the fact that it was _supposed_ to be teenage boys with uncontrollable hormones. Dammit, she probably wanted him as much as he wanted her. Even without the spell. Her entire body throbbed as he pulled up her skirt and slipped his fingers inside her panties. After just a moment of his tender assault, she released her tense stance.

"Fine," she sighed, tugging away and bending over before giving him a wry look. "Just until the bell rings."

He lifted her skirt and slipped her knickers down in a rush before giving her a wicked grin. "You don't know how good you look from this angle, love. Yes, even when you're glaring at me."

She turned away so that he wouldn't see her smile, pressing her hands to the rough stone wall for balance as he put his hands on her hips and nudged her gingerly. Biting her lip against a moan, she shot him an irritated look. "I thought you were in a hurry."

"I am," he agreed, penetrating so suddenly that she nearly screamed. He laughed as she fought to stifle each moan elicited by a hard thrust. "It's funny, but I always figured you'd like it rough."

"Hush up, Potter," she grumbled, her cheeks rosy with embarrassment.

Even with lunch they were late to class. She blushed under Sirius' knowing grin, especially when James mimed about Peter wanking off. To cover her awkwardness, she studiously ignored them all for the rest of the period. Honestly, did he have to tell his mates _everything?_

"Looks like someone's got her knickers in a twist," Alice observed as the final bell blessedly released them into the hallway. "Did Professor Potter lay into you after we left?"

She shot her friend an irritated look. "How does everybody know about this already? Am I wearing a sign?"

In the face of her bad mood, Alice's grin was buoyant. "Come on, Lily. I think I know you a little better than that. Besides, the sex wouldn't be half so good if you didn't spend a few minutes screaming at each other beforehand."

"Don't-" She winced as James slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"Alright Alice?" he greeted her cheerfully.

The blonde lifted an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "'Lo James. Are you preparing to kidnap my friend?"

"Not at the moment, but I'll get back to you with a ransom demand when the time comes," he drawled, reaching up to rumple his hair. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but it'll be something to the nature of 'If you ever want to see your friend again' and an exorbitant amount of chocolate. You might want to start storing up now."

Lily couldn't make eye contact with anyone until Sirius unceremoniously slugged her in the shoulder. "I didn't teach you that spell so that you could abuse it, Lily."

"What exactly did you think she would do with it then, Padfoot?" Remus chuckled.

Sirius gave him a sour look. "Spoken like a man who has no idea how terrible it is to have a raging stiff in the middle of McGonagall's lectures. I still haven't forgiven you for that one, mate."

"And _I _thought we made a pact never to use it again," James shot back sternly.

"_I _didn't use it," Sirius insisted with an evil grin.

"What are you lot going on about now?" Alice asked innocently.

The boys exchanged a look before Remus shrugged his shoulders. "Sirius was teasing Peter about wanking one day, so I came up with a spell to get back at him. Most of the... er... arousal spells and potions don't quite work, but this one is very... effective. Drove him mad trying to figure out what was happening when he got a hard on each time he fought with Peter."

"Once he _did_ figure it out," Peter continued, "well, it was all-out war then, wasn't it? We eventually agreed to a cease fire-"

"Pun definitely intended," Sirius interjected humorously.

"Figured the spell was too powerful to be abused," Peter concluded solemnly.

Alice frowned at the four of them before giving James a skeptical look. "Are you really complaining that your gorgeous girlfriend hit you with an arousal spell in the middle of class that was so potent you had to drag her to the nearest broom cupboard and shag her senseless?"

Rumpling his hair, James gave her an unabashed grin. "Not when you put it like that."

Her face was hot enough to melt, but she didn't resist when James dropped his arm from her shoulders to link his fingers with her own. For some reason, it made her feel better. Like he was on her side no matter what. She gave him a shy smile.

"That reminds me," Alice said suddenly, leveling him with a hard look. "What are you doing for Lily's birthday? And please do keep in mind that I'll hex you if it has anything at all to do with the Forbidden Forest or pumpkins. Not after last year-"

"Right. Birthday," James said uncomfortably. Lily couldn't help noticing that for once he didn't rumple his hair even though he sounded woefully unprepared as he avoided her gaze. "When was it again?"

She frowned at him. "The thirtieth."

"Full moon," Sirius filled in meaningfully, making Lily's stomach drop.

He wouldn't... would he? He wouldn't miss her birthday to go on a lark with his friends? Was it selfish of her to want him to give up just _one_ full moon to stay with her? After a moment, she forced a smile. "Don't worry about it, James. I'm sure we can celebrate later if you're busy."

The complacent statement was obviously enough to make Alice's blood boil and she shot her friend a sharp look. "It's a Sunday, Lily. It's not like he'll be doing homework. What plans could he possibly have?"

"Oh, there are always... things," he said weakly. "But I should be free most of the day."

"_Should be?_ You're planning _around_ the girl you'd be willing to die for?" Alice sneered incredulously.

She was not nearly so magnanimous as Lily. Not to mention she hadn't forgotten the pointless hell he had put her best friend through through just to be able to hold hands with her in broad daylight. Lily didn't ask, but she knew Alice thought he wasn't worth the trouble. "It's fine, Alice. I know how busy he is."

"Don't worry, love," Sirius said cheerfully. "We'll think of something."

Clearly skeptical, Alice frowned at the lot of them before Frank arrived behind her. "Sorry I'm late. What are we talking about?"

In an instant, she smiled and slipped her arm around him. Lily couldn't help getting the feeling she was just a little smug. After all, Frank would never throw _her_ over on her birthday to spend time with his mates. She tried not to let that fact irritate her as Alice shot James one last dark look. "Well, you had better have a ruddy brilliant gift for her, Potter, or I'll hunt you down and gut you like a newt."

"A newt?" Sirius repeated humorously.

"Present," James nodded vaguely. "Right..."

"Are you kidding me?" Alice cried. "Her birthday is in two days!"

Frank restrained her from lunging at him with a little effort and smiled apologetically. "I'm sure whatever he does will be great, Al. Have a little faith."

The blond snorted impatiently before announcing she had some homework to do and heading swiftly toward the library. Shooting them an apologetic look, Frank rushed to catch up. Once they were out of sight, James gave her a hesitant smile. "Are you really okay with me taking the night off? I mean, the lads need me around in case Moony gets out of control."

"It's fine," she said quickly, trying to ignore the fact that it didn't feel very fine at all. God, she was such a spoiled little kid. It was _one_ birthday. It didn't matter. Especially if he spent the whole day with her. He didn't need to be there all night as well.

He grinned down into her face, stroking his fingers over her cheek. "You really are the best."

She glanced around and found his friends regarding her with similar looks of warm approval. So none of them had any problem with this either? She really was being stupid. With an effort, she pushed away her disappointment and went up on tiptoe to kiss him.

"Um, no rush or anything, but we should really be going, Prongs," Peter interrupted awkwardly.

"Right," James agreed, pulling back before she could even kiss him and giving her a warm smile. "I've gotta go, love."

She frowned in surprise. "Go where?"

His eyebrows flicked as he gave her a devilish grin and moved to join his friends, waving as he went. "It's a secret. I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Oh... okay," she called nervously.

She didn't see him for the rest of the evening. The next morning, she woke from a fitful sleep cold and alone on the couch in the common room. The fire had gone out and there was ice on the inside of the windows from the storm that was raging outside. She sat up slowly, frowning when she realized she had fallen asleep waiting for him. A quick check showed her what she already guessed: his room was empty. He wouldn't have left her there if he had come in anyway. Her heart began to flutter in panic as she quickly got dressed and rushed to the Great Hall.

He was there. Laughing and joking with his friends. He looked happy. Perfectly safe.

She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding as her legs began to shake. Dropping heavily to the closest bench, she put a hand to her racing heart and shook her head. She had thought... What? That he had gone out on some dangerous mission and something terrible had happened? That he would do something like that without telling her so that she wouldn't worry?

"Lily, are you alright?" Alice asked as she entered the Great Hall. "You look like you've seen a Dementor." She paused to take in her disheveled appearance and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Do you know you're wearing two different shoes?"

"I'm fine," she said automatically, feeling foolish for getting so frightened. It wasn't like he had never spent a night out with the boys before. It was just that he usually told her. And her dreams... Frowning skeptically, Alice helped her to her feet and turned to leave. "Where are we going?"

"To the infirmary," Alice said gently. "You're freezing and terribly pale."

It was useless to resist as Alice bullied her out of the room. She did feel a little fuzzy, after all. And her heart rate wasn't returning to normal. She was trembling by the time she entered the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey was quick with a potion before tucking her into one of the beds. Alice stroked her hair away from her face as the sleeping draught began to take effect.

"I don't want to sleep," she complained in a gravelly voice.

She hadn't been sleeping well lately. She'd been having nightmares about Voldemort and Megan. Dreams of losing everyone she loved. James let her sleep in his room whenever she was frightened, but she hadn't told him about it. She knew he probably guessed. He could always tell what she was thinking.

Alice tsked her impatiently. "It's the fastest way to get you better. Madame Pomfrey says you've got a cold."

"I'm fine," she insisted weakly. "I want to see James."

"You'll be asleep by the time he gets here," Alice told her reasonably.

She tried to catch her hand, but found she could barely move. Fighting furiously against the potion, she mumbled, "I want... Don't let him... leave me... Alice..."

By the time she woke up, she was alone. The sun was setting through the windows and she sat up cautiously. Taking careful stock of herself, she was pleased to find that she really felt fine now. Warm, comfortable, and totally refreshed, even if she was starving. The bed creaked as she shifted and she looked up when she heard Madame Pomfrey's heels clicking on the stone floor.

"So you decided to finally wake up, Evans?" she said pleasantly, her hands deftly moving to check her pulse. "Mr. Potter was certain I'd given you too much potion when you didn't come round at all yesterday."

"Hang on... what day is it?" Lily asked in surprise. How long had she been asleep? She hadn't had any dreams. She didn't remember anything out of the ordinary.

"Sunday, dear," the nurse replied quickly.

Lily's heart dropped as she began to scramble out of the covers. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Evans, I really think you should rest," Madame Pomfrey warned vainly.

"Rested enough! I've got to go," she insisted, throwing herself out of bed and pelting toward the door. "Thank you!"

She could have cried with frustration when she got to the room and found he had already gone. The last rays of sunlight were disappearing over the hills as she looked around frantically. He hadn't even left a note. It shouldn't have upset her. There was no way for him to know when she would wake up. But it did upset her. She wanted to see him. She couldn't believe she'd lost more than a day!

"Lily?" Alice called from the common room. She met her in the hallway and gave her a relieved hug. "What's going on? Madame Pomfrey said you just ran out-"

"I slept too long," Lily explained in a soft voice. "I missed him."

"He didn't even wait around to see if you were okay?" Alice asked furiously. "Why were you so exhausted anyway? What's he been doing to you-?"

"Nothing, Alice," she insisted quickly. "It's not James. It's me. He hasn't done anything wrong. Please, just-"

Seeing that her friend was nearly dissolving into tears, Alice pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Lily. It's your birthday. You shouldn't be upset on your birthday."

She returned the embrace gratefully, glad to have someone to hold on to. Her dreams were making her crazy. James had probably guessed that they would all along. He'd tried to shield her from this paranoia. He didn't want her to be afraid like he was.

"Come on," Alice said quickly, pulling back from the hug to smile into her face. "Let's make it a party anyway. We can sneak down into the kitchens for snacks and have a whole girl's night in Gryffindor Tower. It'll be totally awesome."

She couldn't stay upset with that logic, so she shoved her fears and anxiety away and giggled as she rushed to put on her pajamas before following Alice out into the hallway. "Hang on. Since when do you know where the kitchens are?"

"Frank told me," she whispered, glancing around a corner before sneaking down the stairs.

It wasn't quite curfew, so the stealth was pointless, but it did serve to make it seem more like an adventure. Besides, Lily wasn't incredibly keen to be caught in the halls in her pajamas and slippers. They nearly sprinted across the Entrance Hall from the main staircase and dashed quickly into one of the side corridors.

"Bollocks! It's Filch," Alice swore, catching her hand and darting toward an unfamiliar hallway.

"Where?" Lily asked, glancing back in surprise. She hadn't even heard anyone nearby.

"Don't worry about it. We can go this way," Alice assured her, taking the steps to the dungeons two at a time.

Frowning, Lily was forced to jog after her, fighting the urge to shiver as the frigid dungeon air closed around them like water. "Alice, I don't think this is the way-"

"Sure it is," her friend told her cheerfully. "It's just the scenic route."

They twisted farther through the passages until Lily was nearly dizzy and completely lost. Right. Left. Left. Third door to the left. Secret passage in the back of a cupboard. "Are we going to the kitchens or Narnia? I can't tell anymore."

"Here we are!" Alice sang cheerfully, stopping short in front of an old tapestry depicting a ship of sailors in a desperate pitched battle against a sea monster.

Lily stared at it blankly. This didn't look anything like the entrance to the kitchens. She glanced curiously at her friend. "Alice-"

Ignoring her, she pulled the tapestry aside like a drape and hurried out of sight, leaving Lily no choice but to rush in after her. Stepping into the room was like walking onto a different planet. She paused quizzically as she was enveloped in a heavy shroud of steamy, warm mist. Thick plants lined the path in front of her, spiking through the haze like sentinels in a secret garden. She could hear water falling somewhere nearby.

"Alice?" she called hesitantly, her voice echoing soft and uncertain in the cavernous room. There was no response. Other than the water, it was eerily still and silent. Drawing out her wand, she stepped carefully forward. "Alice?"

She followed the trail until it opened out on a massive swimming pool. It was fed by a waterfall at the far end that seemed to descend from the soaring, vaulted ceiling. Towering above her, she could just make out the heavy drift of snow against the dark blue sky through the glass dome. The bottom of the pool was etched in a vibrant mosaic that seemed to be a copy of the tapestry at the entrance. Alice was nowhere to be seen.

"Happy birthday, Lily," James suddenly said behind her.

She let out a small, surprised scream before spinning to face him. "_James?_ What are you-? What's going on? Where's Alice?"

He grinned at her frightened, angry look, but didn't even attempt to answer her questions. Catching her hands, he tugged her gently into his arms. She frowned when she realized he wasn't wearing a shirt, but it was so dim that she could make out little else. "Did you know that Hogwarts had a hidden swimming pool? I'd always heard rumors. Took us ages to find it."

"What about Remus?" she asked uncertainly.

"Come now," he interrupted in a teasing voice, "did you really think I'd miss your birthday?"

Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked up at him. "James, you-"

"The full moon was last night," he told her gently. "Sorry. I lied because I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Wanted what-?" she asked in hopeless confusion.

Lights sprang up around them before she could even finish the thought and she spun to find her friends emerging from hiding places in the greenery, shouting surprise and grinning like fools, all decked out in swim wear. Even Remus was there, looking pale and wan but no less cheerful. Alice rushed forward to give her an apologetic hug.

"They only just let me in on it after you left the infirmary," Alice told her sincerely. "Are you surprised?"

"We've got cake," Remus told her cheerfully.

"And enough liquor to get everyone pissed for a fortnight," Peter added with a hearty grin.

"I found you a bathing suit," Sirius added, offering her a brightly wrapped package before leaning over to kiss her cheek.

She glanced back to find James smiling proudly. Her eyes were drawn automatically to the thick bandage around his shoulder. Catching the look, he grinned and took her hand. "Let's go get you changed, then."

Of course this sort of thing caused plenty of smirks all around, but Lily didn't resist as he led her into the cover of the bushes. Once they couldn't see the others, he stopped and nodded pointedly toward the package.

"What happened to your arm?" she asked in concern.

"Moony got a little rough last night," he said simply, tugging on the bow to help her.

She gave him a pleading look, but he was avoiding her gaze. Sighing resolutely, she unwrapped the swimsuit, which she was pleased to find wasn't as scandalous as she had feared, and began to change. Instinctively, she turned her back to him.

She didn't notice him move behind her until something small and hard dropped lightly against her chest. She glanced over her shoulder to find him fastening the clasp of a necklace. His eyes flicked up to meet hers and he smiled. Biting her lip, she lifted the miniature magnifying glass that dangled at the end of the silver chain. It was wrought perfectly and set with moonstones, making it almost painfully beautiful. Frowning, she gave him a curious look.

"What's this?" she asked blankly.

"Your birthday present," he explained unnecessarily. "Well, part of it. The glass is enchanted."

Turning, she tilted her head at him. "Enchanted for what?"

"So you'll know if I'm lying to you," he said earnestly, reaching up to gingerly rub his hair. "I'm not going to keep anything from you anymore. No more secrets. You get to know everything from now on."

Fingering the pendant thoughtfully, she glanced down at the clear glass. All at once, she realized that this was what she'd been missing. She'd been so afraid of him lying to protect her. Terrified he'd just disappear one day and never come back. And he'd known exactly what to do.

Grinning, she threw her arms around him, hugging him so hard that it knocked him back a step. He chuckled, squeezing her tightly against him as he dipped his head to kiss her. She closed her eyes and gave in willingly, knowing that nothing could harm them now. They weren't alone anymore and together they were invincible. Together they would save the world.


End file.
